Jose Canseco Has His Life Together

I usually like to create a theme, but honestly, the theme is craziness today. Jose's out of damn mind, but I think he's cool with it. Where should we start? Let's start here:

You should hate rapist,child molesters,murderers and gas prices not me
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) April 21, 2012

Okay, first off, people shouldn't hate Jose Canseco. Now that we have that out of the way, let's go into his examples. One of these examples is not like the other. Rapists, okay, they are definitely bad. Child molesters, they are probably even worse. Murderers, yep, they definitely can hang with the first two. Gas prices, yep...wait, what? If you give me me an option between being raped or paying $5 for a gallon of gas, I think I will just pay the extra for gas. I don't hate gas prices; they're just kind of there and it's a bummer, but not to the point where I would let my unborn child be diddled by a stranger in order for the prices to drop. Maybe that's just me. Let's see what else is on Jose's mind.

I will challenge you to a spelling competition
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) April 21, 2012

Holy shit, Jose could literally make my dreams come true. I have long dreamed of a mental decathlon against Jose, and this, along with multiplication tables, would definitely be the highlights. But let's see how serious he really is about this competition:

Who can spell the funny poop that comes out of your but
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) April 21, 2012

The runny wet poop what is it called
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) April 21, 2012

Starts with a d
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) April 21, 2012

This is the beauty of Jose. This is not part of his challenge. This is actually him just hoping somebody will give him the correct spelling of diarrhea. Jose knows that complicated words will be involved in future spelling bees, and what is more complicated than diarrhea? I know it always leaves me with a lot of questions.

Looks like Leila left me for a mma fighter .well I guess I am single again
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) April 22, 2012

I have no witty commentary for this post, but I just feel very happy for Jose. Last time Leila dumped him, it put him in a tailspin where he told everyone that Leila is a dirty whore who loves drugs. This time, he responded in a much more mature way:

Who ever my 500k follower is can have a threesome with lady Gaga and yours truly
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) April 26, 2012

Okay, that's the least appetizing offer I can think of, but it's a whole lot better than a mental breakdown. Great job, Jose.

Well, that should just about wrap it up. Alright, I guess we have time for one more tweet. What else you got, Jose?

Would you swallow your dogs throw up to save your best friend from dieing
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) April 26, 2012

 In our academic decathlon, I may just concede brain teasers for fear that Jose might say something that makes my head explode.

In conclusion, slap a hater.

NFL Draft Live Blog

It's NFL Draft time, which means it's time for an NFL Draft LIVE BLOG! I'll be updating this all night long to keep people updated on my thoughts as the draft goes down. All times are in CST.


6:57 - Here is my list of quarterbacks that I actually scouted before this draft:

1.       Andrew Luck – He’s the best.

2.       Robert Griffin III – He’d be the best if the best wasn’t in this draft.

3.       HUGE DROPOFF – Because nobody is close to these guys.

4.       Ryan Tannehill – He’s physically gifted, but there is a lot of bust potential. No way I would touch him until late in the first round.

5.       Russell Wilson - Good athlete with solid arm.

6.       Kellen Moore – He’s so good in scanning the field and accuracy that there has to be a good spot for him. Still, there is such limited potential that I can’t put him higher than this.

7.       Brandon Weeden – I was thoroughly unimpressed with him. Lots of quick routes, and the balls he threw downfield were really just trusting that Blackmon would go up and get it.

8.       Kirk Cousins – Poor mechanics lead to poor accuracy. I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

9. Nick Foles - I'm basically just throwing darts with these last four, so yeah, he ends up here.

10.   Brock Osweiler – Watching him throw a fade with no loft was all I needed to see. He has zero touch on his throws.


7:03 - Here is a brief synopsis of my favorite prospect in the entire draft:
Alfonzo Dennard
I love this guy. He makes receivers lives very tough by being excellent at jamming them at the line of scrimmage. Maybe his straight line speed isn’t great, but there isn’t a ton of times where he will be facing fly routes against speedy receivers. Also, before the draft last year, Niles Paul (Nebraska Wide Receiver) said that the toughest person he ever faced in college was Dennard. He played against Prince Amukamara, but he said Dennard was tougher than Amukamara. Amukamara was a first round pick, and yet Dennard might not be taken until the third. I’d love to see the Bears take him in the second round.


7:06 - Colts select Andrew Luck. Now they just need some wide receivers, a tight end, an offensive line, some d-lineman, a couple linebackers, and a secondary, and they'll be set.


7:21 - The Browns got their guy which is good, but bravo to the Vikings for being able to get the guy they want as well as picking up three extra picks. Hopefully they use this pick on Iowa Punter, Eric Guthrie.


7:33 - I would rather have Blackmon than Julio Jones. Jones is the better athlete, but Blackmon can actually catch the ball consistently. He showed good body control and he goes up and snatches it. I don't think Blackmon is as talented as Dez Bryant, but Bryant has battled injuries, and has not been utilized to his full potential in Dallas. Blackmon should produce early on.

7:35 - I can't believe that Dallas got number six for so little. Just adding a second rounder is a great deal for the Cowboys.

7:37 - OUR FIRST COMMENT! Feel free to add more. Thunder9 suggested that I put this on Cover It Live. Well, it's too late now, but excellent advice for next year.

7:39 - I think Claiborne is very good. I don't think he is as good as Patrick Peterson who I was head over heels in love with last year.

7:49 - As I stated yesterday, I'm not a big Tannehill fan, but I see the positives in him. There is a lot of upside. Mel described him as good size, smart, and competitive. Christ, none of those are actual skills. I just don't trust his decision making. With that being said, I will make a bold prediction and say if him and RGIII start the whole year, Tannehill will have more rushing yards than Griffin.

8:07 - I didn't really have time to watch Memphis, because they're Memphis, but all the word on Poe is that he didn't really do much in college. That is a big concern for me. Why will he be more motivated now that he is getting paid than he was last year when he should have been playing hard so he could get paid? Workout warriors are always stay away guys for me, but I did love the Bears defense when they just plugged up the middle with Sam Adams and Ted Washington, so there is some value to just having big dudes in the middle of the line.

8:38 - Mike asks if I love Fletcher Cox from Mississippi State? Well, I don't really know enough about him. I heard a lot of positive scouting reports, and most of the people that I trust had him going at #7 in this draft, so it was a good get for the Eagles when he fell that far. From the limited amount that I saw, he should be solid, but I have no clue on the upside. Keep those comments coming.

8:41 - I have no clue how DeCastro is still on the board. A part of me wants him to fall to 19, but a part of me is positive the Bears won't take him even if he does fall to them. I'm really torn, but DeCastro is awesome.

8:53 - The moment of truth. Will the Bears draft DeCastro? God, I hope so. Build through the lines, Bears. He's a monster. Please, do it. Come on. Don't let me down.

9:00 - Holy shit. I did not see that one coming. Um, okay, I guess. Eh. Blah. This is not what I wanted.

9:07 - I really love the Kendall Wright pick. Dude is awesome. Steve Smith starter kit. The good Steve Smith, not the bad one.

9:12 - Brandon Weeden goes three rounds too high. Good for him. The Browns are the losers of this draft so far. I like Richardson; I don't like giving up three picks to move up one spot. And I just simply don't like Brandon Weeden.

9:19 - Well, the draft couldn't have worked out much better for the Lions. They needed a tackle, and one fell in their lap.

9:20 - And the Steelers take DeCastro, shocking that the Steelers would draft well. God damnit.

9:22 - Patriots adding Chandler Jones and Dont'a Hightower, which are both really good picks for the Patriots. They might have a real defense next year.

9:45 - I'm almost never a fan of drafting people from Notre Dame, and this is one of those cases. I know Notre Dame is the greatest and they win the National Championship ever year, wait...what? They don't. They actually have kind of sucked lately. Oh, yeah, then this guy will probably suck too.

9:52 - I know a lot of people were not expecting him to go that high, but I really liked the A.J. Jenkins pick for the 49ers. Scheelhaase was not a good passer, but Jenkins got so wide open that there was no way he could miss him. I thought he would be a steal later, but he's still a good pick early on.

10:12 - And that wraps up the first round. All I've got to say is #DennardToBears

Scouting the 2012 NFL Draft Quarterbacks: The Best Of The Rest

Yesterday, I went over the big dogs who have a shot of going in the first round of the draft. Today, I am going to look at five guys, all from big time schools who are expected to be drafted, just not on day one. Tomorrow, hopefully before the draft, I will have time to rank these quarterbacks, and also throw out some prospects that I really love in this draft who are not getting enough love. But let's get talking about these QBs.

Kirk Cousins

I watched his games against Georgia and Ohio State. 

I have disliked Cousins as a prospect for a while. He never really impressed me, but I wanted to look deep into some games to see if I was right, or if I just had Iowa hate running through my veins.

He is inaccurate with his throws, and in completely unpredictable ways. He’ll underthrow, he’ll overthrow, he’ll throw behind, or too far in front. I do not see how this is not seen as a big deal, because it is a very big deal.

He also likes to throw in coverage.

The arm strength was better than I remembered, as I have no questions on whether he has the arm to be successful at the next level. It might be great arm strength, but his footwork is so inconsistent that fans of the team that drafts Cousins should get used to hearing, “Cousins off his back foot…”

When it is all working, he makes some elite throws. But it is rarely all working.

He was solid in being able to check down to secondary targets.

He gets a ridiculous amount of hype for his poise and intangibles, but I’ll give him his due, on the final drive of regulation against Georgia, he made good decisions, was accurate with the football, and played his best football when it mattered most.

Nick Foles

I watched Foles against Arizona State and Oklahoma State.

Arm strength was just okay; it kind of looks like he pushes the ball on his throws.

Okay accuracy

Athletic, but looks awkward when trying to run. No juke to his game.

Not much zip, but a fairly accurate deep passer.

Underthrows a lot of balls.

Keeps his eyes down field, but I didn’t see much pressure in the games I watched.

Brock Osweiler

I watched his games against USC and Boise State. 

Really struggles with accuracy on crossing patterns.

He puts no loft on throws. There is no touch to his game. This leads to hilarious results on fades.

The good news is that he does have good arm strength.

Solid athlete.

Kellen Moore

I watched his game against Georgia.

As everyone has noted, it is not a strong arm.

With that being said, it’s super accurate.

He does a good job of scanning the field before making his throw.

Very good pocket presence. He’s not an athlete, but he has a great feel for the rush, and knows subtle ways to avoid it.

He throws a good deep ball as long as it’s not down the middle where there can be safety help. If there’s any chance of safety help, it’s not gonna work, because it’s in the air just a little too long.

His ability to find holes in coverage is really impressive. Terrifying, but impressive.

He’s got everything except athleticism, height, and arm strength. The former isn’t that important, the middle is a little more important, but the latter is what he gets killed on. It’s tough to overlook, but I think at worst, he becomes a reliable backup. If he’s your number one guy, it’s tough to say how far he can take you as the offense really needs to rely on his strengths (no pun intended), but man, if he had an arm, he’s a top 10 pick.

Russell Wilson
I was only able to get a good video of his game against Ohio State, but I had also watched him several times during the season.
He has good arm strength.
Good with the play fake.
Their offense included a ton of rollouts, but he was still able to throw from the pocket when the play called for it. 
He does a good job of going through his progressions from high to low.
His ball placement isn't great. When he was missing passes badly, he tended to miss high which is a very dangerous thing to do in the NFL.
He's definitely a good athlete for the position, but his mobility is kind of hit or miss. Not great vision, and sometimes finds himself zig-zagging behind the line of scrimmage without actually improving his ability to run or to make a pass. With that being said, he is very good at throwing on the move as he may be more accurate on the move than he is while standing still.
At the end of the game, they needed 70 yards, he threw it 40. That's not a great sign for his arm, but it could have also just been drawn up that way to draw an interference, so I can't say too much. 


That's it for today. Tomorrow, I'll wrap some things up and get pumped for the NFL Draft. 

Scouting The 2012 NFL Draft Quartebacks: Possible First Rounders

I love the NFL Draft. As a Bears fan, it is my one moment of hope throughout the year. Yes, some think the Bears could be contenders this year, but Jay Cutler is their quarterback, so they really don't have a chance. Speaking of quarterbacks, I decided to scout some of the bigger names coming out for the draft this season by watching a couple games of tape to give me a better idea of what they do well and what they struggle with. For the most part, these are just my notes while watching these guys play, but it should give you a fairly good overall picture of each prospect.

Andrew Luck 

He’s damn near perfect. I can’t add anything to the conversation. I have raved about him here, here, here, and also at bars across the USA.

RGIII 

So every time I really watched Baylor play, I was more just enjoying the football instead of trying to break down anyone in the game. I thought the RGIII hype had really spun out of control, so I decided to watch some quick videos of his. I watched his performance against TCU as well as Texas.

I was very impressed with his vision. Most of the offense is designed for a quick read and throw which he executes very well. When that first option is not open, he is quick to scan to his next option, often on the opposite side of the field, and quickly fire the ball. He showed a good feel for leading his receivers open.

Um, Good God, he throws a beautiful deep ball. Not only are his throws in stride, but he also does a good job of getting safeties to cheat up by turning his shoulders to an underneath receiver, and then quickly setting up to bomb out the deep ball.

He was rarely pressured. Sometimes, he reacted well by keeping his eyes downfield and continuing to look for open receivers. Other times, it led to some questionable throws. There just wasn’t a whole lot to go off of with pressure, but he handled the limited examples fairly well.

He seemed fast, but not elusive. I don’t see him as the same running threat as Cam Newton, despite his speed advantage.

I did not expect him to be this good. I still favor Luck, but if RGIII had come out any other recent year, he would be the number one pick in the draft. That is not saying that he will be able to perform better than what Cam Newton did in his rookie year, but I had far more questions about Newton than I do with Griffin.

In other news, Kendall Wright is really, really good. He plays fast, does a great job of creating separation, and also is excellent at adjusting to the ball. Whoever drafts him will be a very happy team.

Ryan Tannehill

I watched his games against Oklahoma State and Arkansas.

Tannehill may be more of a running threat than Griffin, because I think his vision in the running game is better.

Good arm and release.

His initial reaction was to bail out, but then he got away from the pressure and looked down the field and fired.

Has a tendency to stare down his receiver just a little too long.

Not impressive deep ball, and some really poor decisions. He just has no feel for it.

Average accuracy overall. I didn’t see him leading receivers open, and he was inconsistent on throws that you would expect a top ten pick to make.

Lots of dumpoff passes where receivers are required to make plays.

I know quarterbacks wins and losses are not a great barometer for success, but they do still interest me. Not to the point of “DUR, this guy’s a proven winner, DUR,” but still interesting. Tannehill has been knocked for not winning big games, and what I saw was him not getting help from receivers down the stretch. I don’t see it as anything to worry about at the next level.

Brandon Weeden

I watched Weeden's games against Iowa State and Stanford.

Very comfortable in the pocket. If he has time, he’s going to use it instead of settling for an underneath pass.

Poor decisions under pressure. Tried to throw over the middle off his back foot which led to very dangerous passes.

Occasionally seemed to not trust his read and it made him wait about a half second to make his throw.

So many short passes in this offense.

I definitely question his arm strength. His ball floats a little bit, and they really utilized very short passes which did not often challenge him. He left some balls up in the air for a while, relying on Blackmon to jump up and get them.

That's all I have for now, but I will be posting something tomorrow on other quarterbacks who are getting a lot of talk leading up to the draft.

Tupac's Hologram And The Simulation Of Human Emotion

By now, I'm sure nearly everyone has seen the Tupac hologram. It's pretty cool. Ah, who am I kidding? It's really fucking cool, but as great as the hologram Tupac is, what the hologram represents is actually far more interesting than the technology.

Hologram Tupac was created to get a reaction from the crowd at Coachella. It is a lot like acting. This isn't acting though, this is a simulation of what they think the person would be like to elicit an emotional response in the people who saw it.

They are simulating Tupac's emotions, and people find the simulation so real that they are moved themselves.
This is the future that every sci-fi movie predicts involving robots.

Machines are becoming more like humans, which has been a constant goal in technology, but this is a huge step forward. People now believe in this technology. They believe in it to the point where they can be emotionally invested in a Tupac Hologram. Their mind knows that it is not Tupac, but their emotions relay something very different. All Tupac truly is at this point is an animation, but the animation is so real, and people want to believe so badly that they are willing to believe in it. Even though they want this hologram to be an accurate portrayal, it is just a program made to elicit a response, and a damn good one at that.

If they can do this with Tupac, they can do it with anyone. Find a good enough programmer and people never really die. There can be no physical contact, but that seems like a temporary issue that will be resolved soon enough. It's insane to think how far they can take this.

Is it good or bad? Both, neither, hell, I don't know. But it sure is interesting.

Jose Canseco Is Clearly Trolling All Of Us

Jose Canseco may show the greatest use of 140 characters in Twitter history. He has amused the masses for years, and he is showing no signs of slowing down. But sometimes, I have to stop and think, "Is Jose Canseco too good at Twitter?" Are these really his thoughts, or is he just trolling us to make the masses go insane at his tweets? After this weekend, I think we need to all at least open up to the possibility that he is trolling us. Let's look at his latest tweets:

great to be back in the bay area. lots of good memories here. wish i couldve been at the red sox 100 aniversary
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) April 13, 2012

Now this seems sincere. I have no doubt that Jose would very much like to be invited to any sort of celebration, especially a baseball celebration. But let's be real here, if I'm willing to pay for hotel and airfare, he would probably be pretty pumped about coming to my birthday party this year. And if you're reading this Jose, hit me up, we can make that happen.

but maybe the invite went to my california home and i moved. havent updated address yet with postal office
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) April 13, 2012

There is no way Jose believes this. Every single day, he talks about how he is unfairly blackballed from the game he loves for trying to save it by exposing the world to the steroid problem. Every single day this happens. So why would he not be invited to the Red Sox 100th Anniversary? Oh, because he hasn't updated his address, so his invite just sits at his old California home.

He's got to be fucking with us, right? I sure hope so, but let's see what else is on his mind.

Titanic 100 years wOw. Global warming couldve saved titanic. Sad to say
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) April 15, 2012

Okay, he's definitely trolling. And on top of that, this tweet makes me sad, because despite this being such an inane idea, I knew exactly what he was talking about. Global warming makes the world warmer, so it should have melted the iceberg that The Titanic hit, and therefore it would have had a safe maiden voyage. I have clearly been writing about Jose too much.

Titanic reminds me of the days I had two yachts in Miami but no icicles
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) April 15, 2012

While most people would look at this tweet as further evidence of trolling, I do a complete 180 on my trolling accusations. Yes, he is talking about having not one, but two yachts, but that is not the important thing to focus on in this tweet. He thinks the Titanic hit an icicle. Not an iceberg, an icicle. Let me show you a couple pictures to demonstrate my point.

Here is an iceberg:

Yeah, that thing could totally take out a large boat. It's huge. I have no doubt an iceberg like this took out The Titanic. Now here is a second picture, this time of an icicle:

This is what Jose Canseco thought sank The Titanic. It's not that Jose is trolling us; it is just Jose being Jose.

Slap the haters. Hugs for you, Jose.

Everything Hot Girls Do Is Hot

My buddy summed it up best when he said, "Dude, girls are so hot." Although I can admit that starting a sentence with "dude" should automatically disqualify whatever follows, there are always exceptions to the rule, and this is definitely one of those cases. Girls are so hot, and this doesn't change as you get older. Although I feel somewhat wiser on life matters, girls are still really hot, and there is a phenomena that I finally noticed recently.

It doesn't matter what they do, somehow, hot girls can make anything hot. Think about British accents. That shit is awful. It is such a nauseating sound, it makes me ill just thinking about it. Now think about a hot chick. Yeah, hot chicks are awesome, so this vision is pretty fucking sweet. Now give her a British accent. Remember how it used to be awful? Now, if you're anything like me, you just realized that you always wanted to end up with a British chick, because her accent makes her way hotter. It's ridiculous, and it works in all facets of life.

I once saw a girl going to med school, and in my head, I started thinking to myself, "Yeah, I have always wanted to be with a doctor." This is complete and utter bullshit. Even though being with a doctor has a ton of obvious benefits, this is certainly never anything that I put on my wish list for my lady. The only thing I have ever fantasized about is a woman who would make me her playboy while I travel the world in a life of luxury.

I met a girl who did the female version of the decathlon, and my immediate thought was, "Damn, I sure would like to be with a female decathlonist," but it's all complete bullshit. It doesn't matter what hot girls do; it's gonna be hot. If I met a hot girl, and she told me she had irritable bowel syndrome, so she farted all the time, my only thought would be how cool it was to find a girl who farts.

It's true. Dude, girls are so hot.

A Review of ICP's Big Money Rustlas

The Insane Clown Posse. They're an interesting crew. Lately, Juggalos have received more cultural relevance after being portrayed on the two best shows on television, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and Workaholics. Still, ICP and their fans are faygo drinking pieces of shit. There's no Nobel Prize coming from that group, but, on the other hand, there could be an Oscar heading their way.

Yes, although ICP is not the best with music or redeemable qualities, they do occasionally make movies. Big Money Hustlas was made way back in 2000, and I still can't believe it, but it was actually an entertaining movie. It is probably not a good movie, but that's hard to do when your characters names are Harry Cox, Big Stank, and Mick Foley as Cactus Sac. Still, it's got Harland Williams, and Harland Williams fucking owns.

With that being said, I was extremely excited to see that their next film, Big Money Rustlas (ten years in the making) was On Demand for my viewing pleasure. This would have been super topical, but Grantland ran a review of the movie last week. Although they hit most of the important scenes, like Grantland is wont to do, they used about 20,000 too many words in the process. Let's hit the important parts (and guest appearances) together as I relive the magic that is Big Money Rustlas.

It's an old school Western movie, and within the first two minutes, there are four murders by the fat guy from ICP, Big Baby Chips. We will meet the good guy later, played by the skinny guy in ICP, Sheriff Sugar Wolf. His mother's name is Handjob Hannah...obviously.

Then we meet the Mexican Sign Guy, who is played by noneother than SCOTT HALL. Oh, fuck yeah. He immediately starts talking about how he is going to bang the widows those men left behind. Seriously, Scott Hall steals the show in this movie. It is pure magic every time they give him screen time. Is he shitfaced in every scene? You bet your ass he is. That man is nWo 4 Life.

The Sheriff is about to drink the water from the local well, but Dirty Sanchez stops him with the best line of the movie, "It's as polluted as a fat chick's ass after running a marathon with no underwear on." Yes, the writing in this movie is inspired to say the least.

Then who shows up? "The Mouth of the South" Jimmy Hart. He's winning a bunch of money playing poker until they smash his hand with a hammer for cheating. I would have liked to see his character develop more than begging for mercy for 30 of his 45 seconds of screen time. Honestly, if you're not concerned about plot, but love seeing hilarious cameos, this movie was made for you. Let's do a quick rundown of some other notable celebrity guest appearances:

Vanilla Ice heckles The Sheriff.
Jay from Jay and Silent Bob becomes a deputy.
An outhouse blows up, and who's there? Screech! He complains about not getting a chance to wipe.
Sabu shows up at the end, and there is a Paul Orndorff reference earlier in the film.

God damn, that's a pretty good list of cameos. Nice job, ICP.

The second best line of the movie comes from Sheriff Sugar Wolf, who tries to seduce a midget, "Maybe, sometime if you're not busy, we could get together, and I could pull outta that little ass of yours." The line works in the sense that the midget does become his girlfriend, but it also doesn't work as it turns out that midget is actually a dude (hence the ass play), so not sure if I'm gonna try using that line at the clubs anytime soon.

And then the movie ends in the most unpredictable way imaginable, unless of course you have seen a movie before, in which case you will see it coming from a mile away.

So what did we learn today? Although the Insane Clown Posse's music is awful, their movies are...ah, fuck, who am I kidding? Their movies are awful too. If this review seemed positive, it is because I avoided talking about the plot. Big Money Hustlas was entertaining, this was not as inspired of an effort. But they did put Scott Hall in it, and there is no doubt that Scott Hall is awesome.

Fuck the Juggalos, I'm nWo 4 Life.

The Best And Worst Of My 2012 Fantasy Baseball Draft - Part 2

I have picked out the best and worst pick of each round of my fantasy draft that happened a week and a half ago. I tried to avoid giving myself a best when possible. Otherwise, it would just be me patting myself on the ass nonstop. I have also changed the team names to protect their owners' identities. I gave everyone a cool name, except Cory, whose team I called Cory, because Cory is the worst. Yesterday was part one, and here is the exciting conclusion:

ROUND 13
145	Logan Morrison, Mia OF	Latino Heat
146	J.J. Putz, Ari RP	Team Idaho
147	Brandon Morrow, Tor SP	Team Hott Joe
148	Peter Bourjos, LAA OF	Team Johnny
149	Jordan Walden, LAA RP	Team Whiskey
150	Anibal Sanchez, Mia SP	The Teach
151	Paul Goldschmidt, Ari 1B	Cory
152	Erick Aybar, LAA SS	Team Hipster
153	Justin Masterson, Cle SP	AC Slater
154	Ryan Howard, Phi 1B	Vice City
155	Kyle Farnsworth, TB RP	Team Gauch-OH YEAH!
156	Neftali Feliz, Tex RP	Butt Stuff

Best Pick: Paul Goldschmidt – He’s probably going to hit 25-30 home runs, and all of the remaining first basemen provide limited upside or a huge risk. Honorable mention goes to Anibal Sanchez who had a really good year last year and could definitely do it again this year.

Worst Pick: Erick Aybar – I don’t hate the pick, because there really wasn’t much left at short at this point, so you have to go with somebody, but yeah, this is the worst from a group of picks that are all solid, but without many wows.

ROUND 14
157	Nick Markakis, Bal OF	Butt Stuff
158	Emilio Bonifacio, Mia SS	Team Gauch-OH YEAH!
159	Ervin Santana, LAA SP	Vice City
160	Colby Rasmus, Tor OF	AC Slater
161	Doug Fister, Det SP	Team Hipster
162	Neil Walker, Pit 2B	Cory
163	David Freese, StL 3B	The Teach
164	Dustin Ackley, Sea 2B	Team Whiskey
165	Jaime Garcia, StL SP	Team Johnny
166	Jason Kipnis, Cle 2B	Team Hott Joe
167	Ryan Roberts, Ari 2B	Team Idaho
168	Huston Street, SD RP	Latino Heat

Best Pick: Jason Kipnis – I love Jason Kipnis. He was the one player that I knew that I would get on both of my fantasy teams this year. There was nothing that was going to stop this from happening. I nearly took him two rounds before this, because I loved him that much, but I was patient and it paid off. Kipnis is my boy.

Worst Pick: David Freese – I ain’t buying the playoff heroics, and he also gets hurt every single year. Have fun with your 110 games of mediocre production.

ROUND 15
169	Jemile Weeks, Oak 2B	Latino Heat
170	Angel Pagan, SF OF	Team Idaho
171	Kelly Johnson, Tor 2B	Team Hott Joe
172	Dexter Fowler, Col OF	Team Johnny
173	Ike Davis, NYM 1B	Team Whiskey
174	Jeff Francoeur, KC OF	The Teach
175	Wandy Rodriguez, Hou SP	Cory
176	Torii Hunter, LAA OF	Team Hipster
177	Gaby Sanchez, Mia 1B	AC Slater
178	Carlos Marmol, ChC RP	Vice City
179	Kendrys Morales, LAA 1B	Team Gauch-OH YEAH!
180	Aaron Hill, Ari 2B	Butt Stuff

Best Pick: Wandy Rodriguez – I almost picked pass on this round, because there isn’t anything that stands out in this round. Even my own pick was pretty safe, but Wandy Rodriguez always produces very good stats, but people seem to really hate him. He’ll have trouble getting wins early on, but there is a good chance he gets traded to a real MLB team, so that would be nice for him.

Worst Pick: Angel Pagan – Team Idaho loves crappy outfielders who play in San Francisco. Congratulations on cornering that market.

ROUND 16
181	Josh Willingham, Min OF	Butt Stuff
182	Johan Santana, NYM SP	Team Gauch-OH YEAH!
183	Jason Kubel, Ari OF	Vice City
184	Yunel Escobar, Tor SS	AC Slater
185	Hiroki Kuroda, NYY SP	Team Hipster
186	Marco Scutaro, Col SS	Cory
187	Martin Prado, Atl 3B	The Teach
188	Brennan Boesch, Det OF	Team Whiskey
189	Brandon League, Sea RP	Team Johnny
190	Francisco Liriano, Min SP	Team Hott Joe
191	Jesus Montero, Sea DH	Team Idaho
192	Johnny Cueto, Cin SP	Latino Heat

Best Pick: Jesus Montero – Once he qualifies, and the Mariners have said he will play at catcher, he becomes a pretty big deal at catcher, because dude can hit. Also, this was  a really inspired round compared to the one before it. Nice picks on Johan and League.

Worst Pick: Martin Prado – He had one great year, but that ain’t happening again, so he’s really just not worthwhile to have on a fantasy team unless you’re desperate to fill out your roster.

ROUND 17
193	Chris Sale, CWS RP	Latino Heat
194	Mike Moustakas, KC 3B	Team Idaho
195	Joe Nathan, Tex RP	Team Hott Joe
196	Ryan Raburn, Det 2B	Team Johnny
197	Tyler Clippard, Wsh RP	Team Whiskey
198	Carlos Pena, TB 1B	The Teach
199	Daniel Bard, Bos RP	Cory
200	Scott Baker*, Min SP	Team Hipster
201	Javy Guerra, LAD RP	AC Slater
202	Alfonso Soriano, ChC OF	Vice City
203	Jim Johnson, Bal RP	Team Gauch-OH YEAH!
204	Edwin Encarnacion, Tor 3B	Butt Stuff

Best Pick: Mike Moustakas – I’m actually not a big believer in Moustakas, but he does have a lot of upside, so that’s pretty damn good for Round 17. I understand the thinking in the pick at this point, because if he can adjust quicker than pitchers adjust to him, he’s got big-time power at a position that isn’t too deep.

Worst Pick: Alfonso Soriano – Yeah, I’m a bitter Cubs fan, but there is a good chance that he rides the pine a lot of games this year, and may even get cut.

ROUND 18
205	Matt Joyce, TB OF	Butt Stuff
206	Justin Morneau, Min 1B	Team Gauch-OH YEAH!
207	Carlos Quentin, SD OF	Vice City
208	Ian Desmond, Wsh SS	AC Slater
209	Tim Hudson, Atl SP	Team Hipster
210	Chris Carpenter*, StL SP	Cory
211	Colby Lewis, Tex SP	The Teach
212	Daniel Murphy, NYM 2B	Team Whiskey
213	Yoenis Cespedes, Oak OF	Team Johnny
214	Clay Buchholz, Bos SP	Team Hott Joe
215	Gavin Floyd, CWS SP	Team Idaho
216	Allen Craig*, StL OF	Latino Heat

Best Pick: Yoenis Cespedes – I have no clue what he is going to do, but it will definitely be fun to find out. I also give myself props for Buchholz, because I nearly took him three rounds before this, and just kept passing, because I needed hitting more than luxurious pitchers. Clay Buchholz is good.

Worst Pick: Carlos Quentin – He’s been in decline, is injury prone, and is going to the worst hitter’s park in the league. Yeah, good luck with that.

ROUND 19
217	Lucas Duda, NYM 1B	Latino Heat
218	Mike Minor, Atl SP	Team Idaho
219	Adam Dunn, CWS 1B	Team Hott Joe
220	Brandon McCarthy, Oak SP	Team Johnny
221	Alex Rios, CWS OF	Team Whiskey
222	Brandon Belt, SF 1B	The Teach
223	Geovany Soto, ChC C	Cory
224	Ted Lilly, LAD SP	Team Hipster
225	J.P. Arencibia, Tor C	AC Slater
226	Ryan Dempster, ChC SP	Vice City
227	Danny Espinosa, Wsh 2B	Team Gauch-OH YEAH!
228	Jose Altuve, Hou 2B	Butt Stuff

Best Pick: Brandon McCarthy – Pretty damn good pitcher for Round 19. That’s just good value staring you in the face.

Worst Pick: Lucas Duda – I have seriously never heard of Lucas Duda. I follow sports pretty closely. Who the hell is Lucas Duda? I’m going to go out on a limb and say that he sucks.

ROUND 20
229	Chase Headley, SD 3B	Butt Stuff
230	Derek Holland, Tex SP	Team Gauch-OH YEAH!
231	Bryce Harper, Wsh OF	Vice City
232	Grant Balfour, Oak RP	AC Slater
233	Tim Stauffer, SD SP	Team Hipster
234	Edwin Jackson, Wsh SP	Cory
235	Mike Carp*, Sea 1B	The Teach
236	Austin Jackson, Det OF	Team Whiskey
237	John Mayberry Jr., Phi OF	Team Johnny
238	Sergio Santos, Tor RP	Team Hott Joe
239	Matt Capps, Min RP	Team Idaho
240	Mark Trumbo, LAA 1B	Latino Heat

Best Pick: Edwin Jackson – One of my favorites in this draft; I just don’t see a way where Edwin Jackson doesn’t provide quality stats for Washington this year. It’s a safe pick with pretty solid upside, so it is excellent selection at this point in the draft.

Worst Pick: Bryce Harper – Harper struggled when transitioning to Double-A last year, so yeah, even when he finally does make it up, he isn’t going to go hog wild on everybody when making his debut.

ROUND 21
241	Chris Perez, Cle RP	Latino Heat
242	Mitch Moreland, Tex 1B	Team Idaho
243	Delmon Young, Det OF	Team Hott Joe
244	Jonathon Niese, NYM SP	Team Johnny
245	Jonny Venters, Atl RP	Team Whiskey
246	Wilson Ramos, Wsh C	The Teach
247	Jair Jurrjens, Atl SP	Cory
248	Bud Norris, Hou SP	Team Hipster
249	Brett Myers, Hou SP	AC Slater
250	Mat Gamel, Mil 3B	Vice City
251	Sean Marshall, Cin RP	Team Gauch-OH YEAH!
252	Chad Billingsley, LAD SP	Butt Stuff

Best Pick: Chad Billingsley – I really like Billingsley and see no reason why he can’t produce numbers as good as his best year in the majors.

Worst Pick: Jair Jurrjens – I know this isn’t an awful pick, but I just don’t enjoy watching Jurrjens pitch, so I expect people to smash him or for him to get hurt. Either way, I have no faith in Jair.

ROUND 22
253	Francisco Cordero, Tor RP	Butt Stuff
254	Trevor Cahill, Ari SP	Team Gauch-OH YEAH!
255	John Danks, CWS SP	Vice City
256	Alcides Escobar, KC SS	AC Slater
257	Frank Francisco, NYM RP	Team Hipster
258	Aroldis Chapman, Cin RP	Cory
259	Matt Thornton, CWS RP	The Teach
260	Jose Tabata, Pit OF	Team Whiskey
261	Kenley Jansen, LAD RP	Team Johnny
262	Ricky Nolasco, Mia SP	Team Hott Joe
263	Jonathan Broxton, KC RP	Team Idaho
264	Chris Davis, Bal 3B	Latino Heat

Best Pick: Matt Thornton – I think he’ll be a steal for a closer this year. I think he could put up a Hanrahan like year this season, so Thornton is really good value at this point.

Worst Pick: Chris Davis – I have been a believer in Chris Davis for five years, but he still hasn’t put it together. It’s time to give up on him ever making an impact.

ROUND 23
265	Nolan Reimold, Bal OF	Latino Heat
266	Sean Rodriguez, TB SS	Team Idaho
267	Jake Peavy, CWS SP	Team Hott Joe
268	Homer Bailey, Cin SP	Team Johnny
269	Vance Worley, Phi SP	Team Whiskey
270	Mark Buehrle, Mia SP	The Teach
271	Danny Valencia, Min 3B	Cory
272	Chipper Jones*, Atl 3B	Team Hipster
273	Jonathan Sanchez, KC SP	AC Slater
274	Jhoulys Chacin, Col SP	Vice City
275	J.D. Martinez, Hou OF	Team Gauch-OH YEAH!
276	Gordon Beckham, CWS 2B	Butt Stuff

Best Pick: Mark Buehrle – It’s never pretty, but he produces, and he’s going to the easier league in a pitcher’s park. That’s a nice combo.

Worst Pick: Chipper Jones – Stick a fork in him; he’s done.

ROUND 24
277	Omar Infante, Mia 2B	Butt Stuff
278	Lorenzo Cain, KC OF	Team Gauch-OH YEAH!
279	Kurt Suzuki, Oak C	Vice City
280	Brian Matusz, Bal SP	AC Slater
281	James Loney, LAD 1B	Team Hipster
282	Erik Bedard, Pit SP	Cory
283	R.A. Dickey, NYM SP	The Teach
284	Ivan Nova, NYY SP	Team Whiskey
285	Johnny Giavotella, KC 2B	Team Johnny
286	Travis Snider, Tor OF	Team Hott Joe
287	Stephen Drew, Ari SS	Team Idaho
288	Raul Ibanez, NYY OF	Latino Heat

Best Pick: Erik Bedard – Maybe it’ll only be 120 innings, but they’ll be 120 damn good innings. Honorable mention to Brian Matusz who I would have taken had I not run out of roster space for him.

Worst Pick: Travis Snider – If loving Travis Snider is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

ROUND 25
289	Rafael Furcal, StL SS	Latino Heat
290	Ben Revere, Min OF	Team Idaho
291	Jason Bay, NYM OF	Team Hipster
292	Brett Pill, SF 1B	Team Johnny
293	Justin Smoak, Sea 1B	Team Whiskey
294	Vinnie Pestano, Cle RP	The Teach
295	Mike Leake, Cin SP	Cory
296	Yonder Alonso, SD OF	Team Hipster
297	Trevor Bauer, Ari SP	AC Slater
298	Jason Bartlett, SD SS	Vice City
299	Brian Roberts*, Bal 2B	Team Hipster
300	Mike Adams, Tex RP	Butt Stuff

Best Pick: Vinnie Pestrano – I think he has a strong shot to take the closer’s job from Chris Perez.

Worst Pick: Brett Pill – Don’t feel bad Brett, you’re still a better pick than Bryce Harper.

And that's all 25 rounds of the draft. So who's going to win this thing? Well, if you want the answer to that, just click here to find out.