Jose Canseco Has His Life Together

I usually like to create a theme, but honestly, the theme is craziness today. Jose's out of damn mind, but I think he's cool with it. Where should we start? Let's start here:

You should hate rapist,child molesters,murderers and gas prices not me
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) April 21, 2012

Okay, first off, people shouldn't hate Jose Canseco. Now that we have that out of the way, let's go into his examples. One of these examples is not like the other. Rapists, okay, they are definitely bad. Child molesters, they are probably even worse. Murderers, yep, they definitely can hang with the first two. Gas prices, yep...wait, what? If you give me me an option between being raped or paying $5 for a gallon of gas, I think I will just pay the extra for gas. I don't hate gas prices; they're just kind of there and it's a bummer, but not to the point where I would let my unborn child be diddled by a stranger in order for the prices to drop. Maybe that's just me. Let's see what else is on Jose's mind.

I will challenge you to a spelling competition
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) April 21, 2012

Holy shit, Jose could literally make my dreams come true. I have long dreamed of a mental decathlon against Jose, and this, along with multiplication tables, would definitely be the highlights. But let's see how serious he really is about this competition:

Who can spell the funny poop that comes out of your but
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) April 21, 2012

The runny wet poop what is it called
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) April 21, 2012

Starts with a d
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) April 21, 2012

This is the beauty of Jose. This is not part of his challenge. This is actually him just hoping somebody will give him the correct spelling of diarrhea. Jose knows that complicated words will be involved in future spelling bees, and what is more complicated than diarrhea? I know it always leaves me with a lot of questions.

Looks like Leila left me for a mma fighter .well I guess I am single again
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) April 22, 2012

I have no witty commentary for this post, but I just feel very happy for Jose. Last time Leila dumped him, it put him in a tailspin where he told everyone that Leila is a dirty whore who loves drugs. This time, he responded in a much more mature way:

Who ever my 500k follower is can have a threesome with lady Gaga and yours truly
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) April 26, 2012

Okay, that's the least appetizing offer I can think of, but it's a whole lot better than a mental breakdown. Great job, Jose.

Well, that should just about wrap it up. Alright, I guess we have time for one more tweet. What else you got, Jose?

Would you swallow your dogs throw up to save your best friend from dieing
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) April 26, 2012

 In our academic decathlon, I may just concede brain teasers for fear that Jose might say something that makes my head explode.

In conclusion, slap a hater.

Jose Canseco Is Clearly Trolling All Of Us

Jose Canseco may show the greatest use of 140 characters in Twitter history. He has amused the masses for years, and he is showing no signs of slowing down. But sometimes, I have to stop and think, "Is Jose Canseco too good at Twitter?" Are these really his thoughts, or is he just trolling us to make the masses go insane at his tweets? After this weekend, I think we need to all at least open up to the possibility that he is trolling us. Let's look at his latest tweets:

great to be back in the bay area. lots of good memories here. wish i couldve been at the red sox 100 aniversary
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) April 13, 2012

Now this seems sincere. I have no doubt that Jose would very much like to be invited to any sort of celebration, especially a baseball celebration. But let's be real here, if I'm willing to pay for hotel and airfare, he would probably be pretty pumped about coming to my birthday party this year. And if you're reading this Jose, hit me up, we can make that happen.

but maybe the invite went to my california home and i moved. havent updated address yet with postal office
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) April 13, 2012

There is no way Jose believes this. Every single day, he talks about how he is unfairly blackballed from the game he loves for trying to save it by exposing the world to the steroid problem. Every single day this happens. So why would he not be invited to the Red Sox 100th Anniversary? Oh, because he hasn't updated his address, so his invite just sits at his old California home.

He's got to be fucking with us, right? I sure hope so, but let's see what else is on his mind.

Titanic 100 years wOw. Global warming couldve saved titanic. Sad to say
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) April 15, 2012

Okay, he's definitely trolling. And on top of that, this tweet makes me sad, because despite this being such an inane idea, I knew exactly what he was talking about. Global warming makes the world warmer, so it should have melted the iceberg that The Titanic hit, and therefore it would have had a safe maiden voyage. I have clearly been writing about Jose too much.

Titanic reminds me of the days I had two yachts in Miami but no icicles
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) April 15, 2012

While most people would look at this tweet as further evidence of trolling, I do a complete 180 on my trolling accusations. Yes, he is talking about having not one, but two yachts, but that is not the important thing to focus on in this tweet. He thinks the Titanic hit an icicle. Not an iceberg, an icicle. Let me show you a couple pictures to demonstrate my point.

Here is an iceberg:

Yeah, that thing could totally take out a large boat. It's huge. I have no doubt an iceberg like this took out The Titanic. Now here is a second picture, this time of an icicle:

This is what Jose Canseco thought sank The Titanic. It's not that Jose is trolling us; it is just Jose being Jose.

Slap the haters. Hugs for you, Jose.

Al Davis Was More Inspirational Than Steve Jobs

I learned something very interesting this past week. It seems like half the people I know had some sort of personal relationship with Steve Jobs. This was amazing, because I wouldn't think that a billionaire would have that many friends in common with me, but apparently I was wrong. All over Twitter, Facebook, and even Black Planet, people mourned the loss of Steve Jobs. I, unlike most of the people I know, did not have a personal relationship with Steve Jobs. I'm pretty sure that he started Apple, but I have never felt the urge to thank him for that. I thanked him with my money when I bought my one Apple product, an iPod Nano. I am happy with this purchase as we have spent nearly two years ago, and it works almost all the time despite me repeatedly dropping it over these past two years. It's obviously bad that he died, and especially since he died at a younger age than the average American, but outside of the two minutes I have spent writing this paragraph, it has had no real effect on my life.

On the other hand, I was saddened to see a true legend die when Oakland Raiders Owner, Al Davis, passed away. I had no personal relationship with Al Davis, but this man should be an inspiration to everyone. Was Al Davis a good person? Honestly, no, and I don't think that Al Davis would ever consider himself a "good" person, but that doesn't mean he wasn't an amazing person.

Al Davis was a snake, and he'd be the first person to tell you that. He would do anything to win, and that is why he was so successful. This weekend, people were listing his accomplishments of being a coach, commissioner, owner, and a whole lot of other things, but I don't think most people took the time to realize what that actually meant. Al Davis was not a self-made man, he was a self-made icon, and there is zero chance of anybody pulling off what he was able to do in professional football.

He started off in coaching, and quickly worked his way up to head coach of the Raiders. Then he became a general manager, and he became so successful that he worked his way into having an ownership stake in the team. He then tricked one of the other owners into giving him the option to buy them out behind the other owner's back, and eventually strong-armed his way into the controlling owner of the team. The other owner tried to sue him, but it was too late, Al Davis was too smart and diabolical to be stopped from owning the Raiders.

I'm obviously giving a very brief description of what happened, but the above paragraph is absolutely baffling to me. Bill Belichick is probably the most powerful coach in the NFL today, and in your wildest imagination, could you imagine him taking the ownership away from Robert Kraft? There is no god damn way that could EVER happen. But Al Davis seriously pulled that off.

I would have loved to have been friends with Al Davis, but I would have shit my pants had I been his enemy. Al Davis was seen as a punchline late in his life as his personnel moves had not been working like they had been in the past, but he created successful teams in the 70s, 80s, 90s, and early 00s. And it's a shame he passed away when he did, because it looks like the Raiders are back on the road to respectability again.

Steve Jobs passing was seen as a much bigger deal, and that's not surprising at all. Apple is a far bigger brand than the Oakland Raiders, and Steve Jobs had far more money than Al Davis. Steve Jobs went into computers and rose to the top, but Al Davis chose the football business while also reaching the top. But know one thing, had Al Davis chosen the computer business, you would still know the name Al Davis, but you would have no clue who Steve Jobs was. Al Davis was committed to excellence, and he lived his life with one simple motto, "Just win, baby."

Now that's an inspiration.

-Joe

P.S. Mexico may be ahead of the US in progressive ideas towards marriage. A two-year marriage license, cut it down to two months, and I might lose my fear of commitment.

Jose And Ozzie Canseco Pull A Switcheroo...Or Do They?

It has been quite a while since we last checked in with Jose Canseco.  Between him putting people in their place on Celebrity Apprentice, talking shit to A-Rod, and warning Chuck Liddell that his girlfriend is a scam artist, it's tough to come up with a lot of interesting tweets for his followers.  But fear not, Canseco fans, Jose was back at it this weekend to provide entertainment for all to enjoy.

@JoseCanseco Jose Canseco

let's see who is smart enough to figure out what happened at the boxing match

Boxing match?  The only notable boxing match I knew about was Pacquiao vs. Mosley (because I saw the commercial 100 times this weekend), but that isn't until May.  Wait a minute...you don't think...no, he couldn't have...but maybe...was Jose Canseco in another celebrity boxing match this weekend?  Only with Jose could the answer be both yes and no.  

Jose was scheduled to appear in a celebrity boxing match this weekend in Miami.  According to "news" reports (I put those in parenthesees, because I'm not sure if you consider MSNBC, The Miami Herald, and ESPN news sources), Jose sent his twin brother Ozzie to pose as him for the celebrity boxing match.  The switch was figured out when the Jose that showed up did not have Jose's tattoos and looked smaller than normal. I hate to break it to you, boxing promoter, but these tattoos aren't real.

This promoter must be a real dumbass.

But let's say this is true, that he really sent Ozzie in his place, I would have no choice but to no longer consider him the most awesome human being around.  Instead, I will have to put him in another category, because it is unfair to compare mere human's awesomeness to Jose's.  He attempted to pull off a trick that was made famous by The Killer Bees and perfected by the Olsen Twins.  I can't even begin to put into words how awesome that is, but I know that nothing could ever compare to it.

But is it the truth?  Well, that's a little tougher to know for sure.  Let's look at the evidence.  Jose followed up with these tweets

@JoseCanseco Jose Canseco

is anyone out there smart enough to figure it out or are you all a bunch of hateful morons

@JoseCanseco Jose Canseco

how can you haters being so ignorant it's amazing

@JoseCanseco Jose Canseco

I am still waiting for an intelligent scenario

@JoseCanseco Jose Canseco

by the way e s p n is owned by major league baseball of course they are going to lie

It's clear to me that a bunch of idiots thought that these "news" stories were facts.  But it's just ignorance that would make people believe this.  Nobody could even come up with an intelligent scenario, because they are brainwashed by ESPN.  And don't get caught up with the MLB owning ESPN, because he was not speaking in literal terms.  But MLB has ESPN by the balls, so ESPN will follow MLB's plan to destroy Jose Canseco's life for exposing the truth about steroids in baseball.  And here is yet another piece of evidence.

@JoseCanseco Jose Canseco

Be very careful with Damon feldman who runs celebrity boxing he will not pay you if you fight for him

How would Jose know that Damon Feldman did not pay him if he wasn't even there?  The ignorant hater response would be that Ozzie could have just called Jose on his cell phone to tell him about not getting paid.  Unfortunately, that argument is unlikely.  I highly doubt Ozzie can afford a cell phone.  

And finally, Jose's most brilliant tweet of this ordeal.

@JoseCanseco Jose Canseco

just remember the media is write 20 percent of 50 percent of the time

Does this mean that the media is only right 10% of the time?  Maybe.  But more likely, it means that the media only does what one would consider writing 10% of the time.  Coming from someone that is writing his THIRD book, I think anyone who isn't a total hater will give credence to his opinion. 

If there's one thing that Jose stands for, it's the truth.  So why would he deceive people?  Can you explain that one to me, Mainstream Media?  No, you can't, because no matter how much you haters lie about him, Jose will rise above it all to show us the truth.

UPDATE: Jose's side of the story revealed.

-Joe

P.S.  I e-mailed Jose to get his side of the story.  Since we have a ton of mutual respect for each other's work, I'm sure he will try to get back to me, but things are crazy right now so he was unable to respond at the time of publication.  I will be sure to post Jose's response when he finds the time to e-mail me back.

P.P.S.  To help prove Jose's remark about the media, this may be the dumbest article I have ever read, and it is in one of the most well-respected newspapers in the country.

Jose Canseco Might Be The Most Interesting Man In The World

So Jose Canseco has been spinning gold on Twitter, and his amazing tweets have been building up at nearly unprecedented levels over the last two weeks.   It's gotten to the point where it is no longer debatable, move over Dos Equis dude, Jose Canseco is the most interesting man in the world.

JoseCanseco I have been testing a totally legal product I will let you guys know if it works As soon as I have tested it long enough
This is a great example of why Jose's life is more interesting than anyone else's:  Mystery.  And not the Pickup Artist, the literary device.  He is trying a totally legal product, but we have no idea what it is.  It could be a muscle enhancer, it could be big dick pills, hell, it could just be cereal.  There is no way to know, but the great news is that Jose will let us know what it is once it is thoroughly tested.  How long does it take to know if Cinnamon Toast Crunch "works?"  Only Jose knows the answer to that question.

JoseCanseco Don't ever give up on life workout stay in great shape Our genetic structure allows us to live past 120 years
Could this be the secret benefit of Cinnamon Toast Crunch?  If so, Jose will be letting me know in 73 years.  I can't wait.

JoseCanseco Hey santangelo how did you like getting kicked out of the Playboy mansion. I hope your wife knows you're there with 2 girls and drunk
My initial thought when reading this thought was that I really hope that he's referring to F.P. Santangelo, obscure fourth outfielder who hasn't played in ten years.  I knew it had no chance of that being the case, but it would have been awesome if it was.

JoseCanseco Anyone get ahold of fp santangelo he threatened me and my girl in the playboy mansion and security kicked him out let's get a boxing match
Another reason Jose has a more interesting life than you or me:  He is one of only ten people who can actually identify F.P. Santangelo.  That's amazing.   And shouldn't there be video cameras everywhere around the Playboy Mansion?  It would be awesome to see the scuffle between F.P. and Jose.  I guess they don't want to constantly tape medically enhanced women getting their sex on?  Wait a second, yes they do.  Hugh Hefner might be a total scumbag.  This needs to happen.

JoseCanseco I have a lot of respect for fp santangelo he called me and apologize that takes a big man to do that
Third reason Jose is more interesting than anybody you could possibly imagine:  A heart of gold.  Jose is a man, so if you want to threaten him, he can handle himself and take care of you with some old school street justice.  But don't threaten his girl.  That's a weak move Santangelo.  Jose could have kept a grudge, but he not only accepted his apology, but commended him for his apology in a tweet to all of his followers.  F.P. is lucky he threatened such a great guy.

JoseCanseco Look up exotic rare artwork on google then look for jc7264@yahoo.com check it out
Fourth reason Jose makes the Dos Equis seem as boring as an episode of The Hills:  Jose not only understands exotic art work, but has such a sophisticated eye that he can truly understand it's quality.  Here are some samples from his website:

Exotic?  More Like Erotic.

Ditto.

Hell Yeah.

And all of this is why two weeks I go I was so excited to see the following tweet: 

JoseCanseco I am lookig for a ghost writer for my third book anyone interested.title will be (the truth hurts it destroyed my life) email jc7264@yahoo.c
That's right folks.  Not only is Jose writing his third book, but he is in desperate need for a ghost writer to help him put his amazing story down on the page.  Finally, I would have a chance at my ultimate dream job.  Personally, I think that Jose and I could not only produce a #1 New York Times Bestseller, but I also think that VH1 could follow us around with cameras and have a #1 Rated Reality Show.  I decided to focus on the task at hand and sent him the following e-mail (bolded for clarity):

Dear Mr. Jose Canseco,

My name is Joe, and I would be very interested in being the ghost writer for your third book.  I have talked about you on my blog (http://uncensoredwriting.blogspot.com) frequently, and having the opportunity to expose your personal struggles to the entire world would be an honor for me as a writer.  I currently live in Iowa but would be willing to relocate specifically for this project, as I feel this is an opportunity that I would regret forever if I did not pursue it to my full capabilities.  As your ghost writer, I would make sure that the struggles you have encountered since exposing the steroid problem in Major League Baseball would be revealed to the reader.  Obviously, I do not know half of what you have had to go through, but I would love to show the public not only your financial and emotional struggles through everything, but also more greatly expose you as a human being with not only sadness but also as a guy with a sense of humor. 

Here are some of the posts about you I have put up recently:
http://uncensoredwriting.blogspot.com/2010/12/jose-canseco-makes-hits-on-and-off.html
http://uncensoredwriting.blogspot.com/2010/12/want-to-win-your-fantasy-baseball.html
http://uncensoredwriting.blogspot.com/2010/11/jose-canseco-needs-hug.html
http://uncensoredwriting.blogspot.com/2010/11/jose-canseco-needs-moneyand-more-hugs.html

Again, thank you for considering me for this opportunity, and I look forward to hearing from you.

Best Regards,

 
Hott Joe

Obviously, I am not the only one to yearn for a chance to work with such an interesting human being, and although Jose and I have had no direct contact since my e-mail, he did tweet this. 

JoseCanseco Thanks for the hundreds of replys on the ghost writing issues,I am looking over all of them this will be a best seller

I can't wait to get this job, and make enough money to buy some of the exotic art work he is selling.  Although some of you may not see me as a serious candidate, I happened to check my web traffic the day after I sent him my e-mail, and all four of those links were in my Top 10 most read posts that day.  Coincidence?  Highly doubtful.  Jose Canseco reads this blog, and that makes me more interesting than you.

-Joe

P.S.  Yes, I will be sending this link to Jose Canseco's e-mail address.

Jose Canseco's Phone Number

So last night my brain nearly exploded, as Jose Canseco dropped this tweet on the world:

JoseCanseco If you guys want to talk to me on the phone call me at 310 862 6309. We can talk about anything,find out what's really going on in basball

Just so everyone knew it was real, he had a quick follow up:

JoseCanseco Call me you haters 310 862 6309 if you have the balls

Jose, are you questioning my testicular fortitude? You bet your ass I called that number immediately.

I know what everyone's thinking. If Joe and Jose talked, they are probably now best friends forever. When they hit the clubs, everyone will simply know them as "The New Bash Brothers." I completely agree that this is what should have happened.

Instead I got connected to something called My Fan Line. I have to give them a credit card number, and they charge it for each minute I talk to the celebrity. Now I have only browsed the website for about two minutes, but I cannot find the actual charges for any of this anywhere on the site. Also, I went to their Get Started page, and the only celebrities they had pictures of was Canseco and this guy:
I don't know who this is, so I'm gonna guess it is Shaggy. I don't remember what Shaggy looked like, but he seems like a guy who would smile on the beach as he played what appears to be a ukulele.

Part of the money goes to charity, which in Jose's case will probably be a very small amount. Jose decided to pick the most ridiculous charity possible as he selected B.A.T., and organization that helps out minor league baseball players. Just what we need, give money to potential millionaires. That seems like a worthy cause.

Despite this costing an unidentifiable amount, I'm not totally ruling out calling Canseco. Is this an extremely stupid waste of money for someone who is unemployed? Of course it is, but I have never lived my life by doing the "intelligent" thing. But I have decided that if I'm going to do it, I need to do it right. I need to come up with the most brilliant topics of conversation possible. So far, the best idea I have come up with is asking him to spell words. I'd basically like to give him a spelling test and publish the results. But there's so much potential with him, like:
Did Terry Steinbach juice?
Did it hurt when you assisted a home run with your head?
What's Hong Man Choi like in real life?
Who would win in a fight, you or the Ultimate Warrior?
Can we take steroids together sometime? And really, that would be about the coolest thing ever. Having a beer with the president would be neat, but having Jose Canseco put a needle in your ass, now that would be EPIC.

The list goes on and on, but I need the best and brightest (and by that I mean most hilarious) questions. I also need to do some research to see how much this is going to set me back. If you would like to donate to the cause or have a hilarious question, feel free to leave a comment on here, Facebook, Twitter, or e-mail. I'm accessible, as I have yet to set up my own Fan Line.

-Joe

P.S. I have to be a little weary of getting involved with My Fan Line after reading this.
OldHossRadbourn Hoss just tried calling J. Canseco and now I am stuck with a subscription to "Cross Stitch & Country Crafts" Magazine. I am not amused.

P.P.S. This totally seems like something I can convince one of my drunk buddies to put their credit card down on for our entertainment. Asay, I'm looking at you buddy.

No Way Jose: A Story of Redemption

This was a rough weekend for the blog's favorite human being, Jose Canseco. When most people are going through rough patches, they try to deal with things the best they can while possibly looking for help from family and friends. Jose scoffs at these people. When things are going bad for him, he turns to Twitter, because his followers need to know this information. For that, I thank you Jose. You are a true American hero. But let's go into a weekend of tweets from Jose while the world comes crashing down on him. We'll keep Jose's comments in normal font, and I'll put mine in bold.

JoseCanseco It is true I got evicted everything has gone incredibly wrong since I wrote the book juiced.I am now the modern day frankenstein
You want to talk about somebody bringing their A-Game to start the weekend, that's what Jose does right here. He starts it off by answering a question that nobody asked. Jose, I never asked you if you got evicted, so you don't need to pronounce the truthfulness if your statement before making it. Jose seems surprised that he got evicted, but considering that Jose has worked about as much as me in the last nine months, it would make sense that he got evicted. Come on Jose, if you want to live on your own and not have a job, you've got to live with your parents for two years so you can save up cash. Everybody knows that.

JoseCanseco Mlb has gone out of there way to distroy my life and they have succeded.I didn't realize how powerful they are till now.
It would be petty of me to point out his misspellings, because destroy and succeeded are two multi-syllable words, so we'll give him a pass on it. Let's focus on the message. Canseco recognizes the power of MLB as Major League Baseball has chosen to destroy Jose Canseco's life. It's a good thing that MLB is in a peaceful labor situation right now. If not, I imagine this meeting would happen:

Bud Selig: What are we going to do about this labor dispute?

Top Ranking Official: Well, Johnson and Smith are our best men. If we could get them working on it, we could get it taken care of in no time.

Bud Selig: You know that's not possible, they're still working on destroying Jose Canseco's life. We must keep our priorites straight. We'll get the Phillie Phanatic and the San Diego Chicken to take care of these less pressing issues.
(And yes, I do believe that the San Diego Chicken and Phillie Phanatic are the number three and four best people MLB has)

JoseCanseco I have lost everything. Makes you wanna cry but there's no crying in baseball.and my dad said men don't cry but he was wrong
This would seem to be the end of Jose's humor as MLB has finally defeated him, but never count out Jose Canseco, because he will stick it to you (Get it? It's a steroids joke).

JoseCanseco Someone should do a show called form the penthouse to the garage
At first I thought there was a typo, and he meant from the penthouse to the garage, but then Aaron Gleeman from Hardball Talk brought up that "Form The Penthouse to the Garage" would be an awesome show. I have to agree. I imagine a lot of people have Penthouses away from their garage and would love it if those two could be formed together to make a Penthouserage. Jose might be back on his feet if this idea takes off.

JoseCanseco I will play softball for food. Lol
Hell yeah, Jose will never stop making jokes, jokes so good that he has literally made himself laugh out loud. I sure hope somebody takes him up on the offer. I also hope that Stadium Club considers giving him a spot on the team for Snowbird Softball.

JoseCanseco I had to give away one of my dogs that broke my heart cause I love animals and I am surprised my girlfriend hasn't left me because I have 0
Is there anything coming up more exciting than Jose Canseco's girlfriend dumping him? Clearly, this is going to happen, and I don't think it's too far off. And once it does, the tweets are going to be off the chain. I also expect that this will directly lead to Jose and I becoming best friends...forever. This blog is going to be 1000 times cooler when I can write about me and my good chum Jose Canseco, palling around and scoping some strange. Jose finally took a break from Tweeting for a little bit, but he came back, and he came back strong.

JoseCanseco First of all tmz is lieing I shop at marshalls
Most disappointing part about this tweet was that it did not start an epic list of things that he needed the world to know. The second most disappointing thing was when I went to TMZ to see the story of "Jose Canseco Does Not Shop at Marshall's," I was unable to find it. In fact, TMZ hasn't had a story involving Jose Canseco since he wore a really tight shirt. That story was like a year ago. But just in case you read the imaginary story saying that Jose does not shop at Marshall's, don't worry about it, that imaginary story is lying. Jose's just like us, looking for great threads at great prices, don't let anything in Imaginationland make you think differently.

JoseCanseco I am sleeping in someones garage but its pretty good
I wonder if that person has been able to form his penthouse to the garage yet. I bet that's Jose's job instead of paying for rent.

JoseCanseco Yes I did sign with the laredo broncos I miss and love the game will be with them on monday
And despite MLB's best efforts, Jose Canseco is back, playing the game that he loves. Yes, it's independent ball, but it's not for the money, it's for the love of the game. Jose has been looking into becoming a manager, maybe he could be player-manager for Laredo. Jose, your star shines bright. You are a true (Cuban) American hero.

-Joe

P.S. Kenny Powers also tweets, this is what he had to say:
KFUCKINGP If you're not wasted, the fucking day is.

P.P.S. I really wish one of my friends was a Raiders fan, because this would be the ultimate slap in the face gift for them. At only $3, it would also make a pretty awesome fantasy football trophy.