I hope I remember to CC (Sabathia) everyone on this message:
Yu (Darvish) are all going straight to (Jeremy) Hell(ickson). I had the brains, now I got the (Ryan) Braun. Everything went (David) Wright for me in the draft. My team is on the Mark (Teixeira). Don’t be (Francisco) Liri(ano) of my greatness; I (Brian) McCann do anything.
It all started before the draft. After doing a Body by Jake (Peavy) workout, I had a (JJ) Hardy meal full of (Joe) Nathan’s hot dogs and (Jason) Motte’s apple juice. I didn’t need any Mountain Dew, because I had Serg(io Santos). I threw away my (Tommy) Hanson CD, and got all jacked up by listening to Distubed’s “Down with the (Jason) Kipnis.”
You can try to fight the (Brett) Law(rie), but I think you should (Travis) reconSnider.
(Jason) Hey(ward) ladies, now that I’m (Adam) Dunn, I have time for you to give me a BJ (Upton) on my (Kelly) Johnson.
It’s gonna be a long season, so don’t forget to secure your belt (Clay) Buchholz. Better luck (Brandon) toMorrow, and I hope you all can stay (Delmon) Young.
A bigger stud than Pretty Ricky (Nolasco),