The WWE Is Ruining... Dana Brooke

As a pro wrestling fan, it is a part of our identity to always know how to utilize wrestlers better than the WWE. If WWE would just give me, random WWE fan, a job a the company, ratings would immediately rise to the levels of the Monday Night Wars, despite how television ratings have changed as a whole over the last 20 years. But until that happens, WWE will continue ruining our favorite wrestlers, and that is why it is time to point out the error in their ways. Because of WWE's incompetence, I am literally going to pick a wrestler at random and point out how they could be better utilized, because WWE is ruining everyone in one way or another.

Today, we focus on another women's wrestler, and maybe the fittest woman on the roster, at least according to her success in fitness competitions, Dana Brooke.

Dana Brooke was originally brought up to be Emma's number two, but instead that gimmick took a number two when Emma got hurt one week after Brooke debuted. This left Brooke with nothing to do, and man has it showed, as she's been around for a year and a half, and it is tough to pick out a memorable impact she has had on the main roster.

They tried to make her Charlotte's protege for a while. She then turned on Charlotte after being repeatedly demeaned by her mentor. This led to her having a triple threat match for a shot at Charlotte, but she lost, so she's still waiting to give Charlotte her comeuppance. I can't wait for the WWE to wrap up that storyline.

Then, she found herself in #1 contender's matches nearly every month for a while after that. This sounds good, but they always involved anywhere from three to six women, and she was mostly there to take pins so...not exactly setting the world on fire. But things were about to change for Dana Brooke. For the better? Uh, that's debatable.

Dana Brooke joined up with Titus Worldwide as a secretary. That would be a very attitude era thing to happen, as then she could take her clothes off, much like Stacy Keibler's entire gimmick early on. But we are living in a different era, so Dana Brooke being a secretary just meant that now she had glasses and a notepad. I would say more about this period, but outside of Royal Rumbles and Battle Royals, nothing happened.

So now she has left Titus Worldwide, which is good, but what can you do with someone like Dana Brooke? Now this is definitely going to sound like a knock, and to a certain extent it is, but Dana Brooke does not belong in the title picture. But there is still value in what she can supply to the WWE. Really, I think the WWE had her pegged correctly when they initially introduced her. Let her be the muscle to help out another wrestler. Alexa Bliss already has a full stable of cronies with Mickie James and Alicia Fox, but a pairing with a heel Sasha Banks could make both seem formdiable. They're not going to let Ronda Rousey lose without shenanigans, so a Banks win isn't happening without help, but Brooke is ideal to provide that sort of help. If you don't go that route, have her help out Bianca Bel Air when she gets called up. Not that Bel Air needs the help as she is UN-DUH-FEAT-ED.

Still, Brooke can be valuable as a heel helper, and you can always give her wins over Natalya or Brie Bella, because they aren't really title contenders either, so they can have some secondary feuds.

Right now, the WWE is getting no value out of Dana Brooke, and that is a missed opportunity. With some slight changes and the alignment with a strong female, she can be an intimidating force. Not everyone gets to be a champion, but that doesn't mean she can't still influence things at the top of the card. Don't book it, Brooke It.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Bobby Lashley
Charlotte Flair
Dash Wilder
Nia Jax
Peyton Royce
Scott Dawson
Tyler Breeze

The Ultimate WWE Fantasy Draft - Part Two

With Smackdown moving to a live show on Tuesdays, there are plenty of rumors about an upcoming brand split for the WWE. Instead of waiting for the WWE to pull off a disappointing draft routine, the ultimate tag team, Lukewarm Jonah and Hott Joe, came together this past week to have an old fashioned WWE Fantasy Draft. Our goal is to create the best possible roster to create a successful, moneymaking product.

Some things to know before we get started is that you draft guys for what they are likely to do in the future. The Rock is in this draft, but you don't get to draft him as a full-time wrestler, but he can be used 1-2 times a year to talk for a half hour and boost ratings. Another thing is that wrestlers automatically got their managers with them, so Miz comes with Maryse. Also, tag teams must be taken in pairs, and they must be taken with the first of your two back-to-back picks since we did a snake draft. For New Day, they would take up the person's next three picks, but they would stay together. And to create this list, we used the list of WWE personnel on Wikipedia, so our main roster included 118 picks. And that does not include NXT Superstars (Supplemental Draft) or Mr. McMahon, who is ominpresent for our purposes.

Since Jonah is a true gentleman, he offered me the first pick, and from there, we will have two picks each through the rest of the draft. We did part one yesterday, so let's move onto part two where everybody is still relevant.

40-41. Joe selects Emma and Shane McMahon
Outside of Sasha Banks, I think Emma is my favorite Diva. I think Becky Lynch and Paige get more credit as wrestlers, but Emma has had nothing but good to great matches down in NXT, so if you pair her with top talent, she can deliver top matches. I also added Shane McMahon, because people love Shane McMahon.

42-43. Jonah selects Jack Swagger and William Regal.
Emma is awesome, and she would have been my pick here, but I obviously disagree and think that Lynch and Paige are both better.  Jack Swagger is a wrestler who they just booked into absolute jobberdom.  He was a world champion early, then was booked into oblivion.  What people forget is that it took maybe a month or two to reestablish him as a top wrestler and he fought for the World Title at Wrestlemania after losing every match for years.  He’s a great technical wrestler, has a great look, he’s at worst a midcarder.  William Regal counteracts Shane McMahon as my authority figure.  Regal is also beloved by all and won’t be leaving anytime soon to buy companies or whatever the hell Shane does in his free time.  Also, I don’t care what your GM jumps off of, my GM can beat up your GM.

44-45. Joe selects Stephanie McMahon and Dana Brooke
And then I selected the counterparts of my previous round. Stephanie balances out Shane and gives Triple H his lady buddy. And Dana Brooke is best with Emma, even though she can also fill the role of helping out Charlotte. She also showed she can put on fun matches when she went up against Asuka.

46-47. Jonah selects Tyler Breeze and Natalya
Joe probably could have waited 10 more rounds to select Stephanie.  I don’t want that poison on my show.  She’s over but she doesn’t ever use that to put anyone else over.  She beats regular female wrestlers, she smacks down male wrestlers, she has Triple Hitis to the max as no one can ever be cooler than her.  Enough hate on Joe’s pick, Breeze hasn’t even been on the main roster a year.  I’ve never seen him in a bad match and his promos in NXT were awesome.  The guy has it all besides needing to be a little taller or weigh a little more I guess.  He’s a new Rick Martel or even Shawn Michaels.  Yeah I went there.  Natalya is fine, I was just getting worried with Joe scooping up women’s wrestlers everywhere.  Natalya puts on great matches, but isn’t a great promo.  I’ll get her a manager and a gimmick that isn’t solely I’m related to Bret Hart.

48-49. Joe selects Undertaker and Zack Ryder
So I basically took every spectacle pick. Undertaker can be around for 1-2 months a year and will elevate whoever he faces at WrestleMania. I'm not an Undertaker guy, but the more I think about the pick, the more I like it. Also, I took Zack Ryder, because Woo Woo Woo, You Know It!

50-51. Jonah selects Fandango and Nikki Bella
By 1-2 months, I assume Joe means 1-2 shows.  Fandango is another talent that has been criminally underused.  Great look, got over with possibly the stupidest gimmick ever, and is a talented wrestler and full of charisma.  I let Johnny Curtis get weird and I think he becomes a legitimate star.  Nikki Bella, the lioness of the women’s division.  Not anywhere near the new NXT wrestlers in terms of skill, but much better than she is given credit for.  Super over, helps add depth to the women’s division, I mean she’s the longest reigning champ in history.

52-53. Joe selects The Vaudevillains
I have another fun tag team, and if I can get Aiden English to sing more, they could get a big time push. They're both really good wrestlers, and they are dependable to put on good matches, so it's always good to add this sort of talented depth.

54-55. Jonah selects The Dudley Boyz
I counter Joe’s selection of a good young tag team with the selection of a good old tag team.  The Dudley Boyz can still be presented as a legitimate tag team.  They don’t have to be booked into oblivion.  Bubba has also shown that he can be a legitimate main event singles wrestler.  That leaves D-Von in the dust, but I think they still have a few good years left in them.

56-57. Joe selects Tyson Kidd and Bo Dallas
Don't forget how great Tyson Kidd and Cesaro were before he got hurt. And adding another super worker is never a bad idea as long as he can come back from an incredibly serious injury. Also, don't stop BO-lieving.

58-59. Jonah selects Erick Rowan and Naomi
Again I had to leave Tyson Kidd for Joe so he could properly take care of Cesaro.  Erick Rowan isn’t great in the ring, but he’s not terrible.  He’s got the size and the look and can be hidden with Wyatt just like Strowman.  He was actually over when he fought against the Authority at that Survivor Series, but they followed that up by jobbing him out to the Big Show which shockingly didn’t turn him into a star.  Naomi is lost in the diva’s revolution, but is still capable of putting on good matches and being a legitimate title contender and doing some cool athletic moves in the ring.

60-61. Joe selects Summer Rae and Heath Slater
I'm one of Summer Rae's biggest fans, and I think she has enough potential to be a great asset for the women's division. Also, Heath Slater is the perfect job guy to throw out there and just let people be dominant.

62-63. Jonah selects Darren Young with Bob Backlund and Alicia Fox
Darren Young will be taking no days off with Bob Backlund.  He’s got a great look and has been good in the ring as well.  Whether he has a singles run, or reunites the Prime Time Players, he’s a valuable asset.  Alicia Fox may be the most underrated diva out there.  Her axe kick is awesome, and her bridging suplex is a thing of beauty.  She will provide quality matches with basically anyone in the division.

64-65. Joe selects Curtis Axel and Mark Henry
I didn't set out to get all of the (remaining) Social Outcasts, but it happened, and I'm good with that. They can fill a role. I don't see Mark Henry ever returning to Hall of Pain level but it's never a bad idea to add a Big Hoss to the team.

66-67. Jonah selects Sin Cara and R-Truth
Sin Cara does fun flippy moves and wears a cool mask.  Again, that’s just a marketable combination.  He can team with Kalisto or they can go their own way in singles action.  Either way the kids will love them.  Speaking of wrestlers the kids love, here comes R-Truth.  He’s stuck in a comedy gimmick, but he’s played that gimmick excellently.  He’s provided some of the legitimately funny moments in the past few years and is a name and an entertainer.

68-69. Joe selects Mauro Ranallo and Corey Graves
It is now the time where announcers have more value than the remaining wrestlers. Mauro Ranallo is an expert play-by-play guy, and Corey Graves has shown himself to be a fantastic color guy. He actually has reasons why he likes and hates guys and sticks with those feelings as opposed to switching back and forth with no reasoning. This is an ideal combo that will actually make people watch my show with the sound on.

70-71. Jonah selects Booker T and Renee Young
Joe gets the scoop on announcers.  I always found Booker T was an entertaining commentator that actually provided insight.  Renee Young is just plain awesome.  I’d like to try her out as a commentator, but if that doesn’t work then at least I’ve got the best interviewer on my show.

72-73. Joe selects Eva Marie and Ryback
Finally, we can get that Eva Marie/Sasha Banks IronWoman match that we've all been waiting for. Since everyone seems to hate Eva Marie, she could be one hell of a heel manager. And if you want her to be a wrestler, she could be a prettier, less talented Heath Slater to help my women get some squash matches under their belt. Ryback may be done with wrestling, or he may read an inspirational book and come back better than ever.

74-75. Jonah selects The Usos
To repeat what I said when I made this pick, ugggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh.  I really don’t like the Usos, but the value was far too great here.  Former tag team champions getting picked after Eva Marie is a smart move.  If they continue to suck and piss me off at the very least they can put over every other team.  Oh and since Roman Reigns is on my roster I’m instituting a restraining order between them.

76-77. Joe selects Goldust and Cathy Kelley
Remember when Goldust got in a meaningful angle against The Shield a few years ago and he was doing the best wrestling of his career? Well, maybe if we can find something meaningful for him, and reignite that fire. Also, Cathy Kelley is basically a younger, brunette Renee Young, so she'll do just fine for backstage interviews.

78-79. Jonah selects Michael Cole and Tamina
Michael Cole is the voice of the WWE.  He has actually become a decent commentator even though he can still be pretty annoying he delivers the news straightforward and respectable.  His interview show is also pretty entertaining as well, so some combination of him, Booker T and Renee Young will make for a good commentary/interview team.

NXT and the Land of Forgotten Toys

NXT is the hottest thing in pro wrestling. It's great, as it gives you a glimpse into the WWE's future, and the future is clearly bright. That's what everybody talks about, but there is another, admittedly smaller, aspect of NXT, and that is the wrestlers who have had success before who are trying to build back up to main roster relevancy. These are the forgotten toys of the WWE. They're not bad; it's just that fans haven't really thought about why they loved them so much before, and NXT is giving them that chance to bust out of the toy chest and back into the main rotation.

Zack Ryder
Let's start with the most insane example. Zack Ryder was a huge deal. Z! True Long Island Story changed how WWE treated the internet. Honestly, I'm not sure if the WWE Network exists without Zack Ryder getting the ball rolling. That show sparked WWE getting a YouTube channel, so yeah, he was way ahead of the curve when it came to pro wrestling and technology.

He used that to create a huge following and even a US Title run. Unfortunately, the WWE never really knew what to do with him; they just knew that fans really liked him. They didn't understand that fans related to him, and although he was big on the internet, it never really translated to WWE TV.

Even saying that, this is now a guy who isn't just doing NXT Tapings, he's doing the house shows as well. In fact, he even walked around and took pictures with fans before the show. He's now in a tag team with Mojo Rawley, and that is the best thing that could have happened to Mojo, as they have done a good job of hiding his weaknesses in the ring, while exploiting his main attribute, which is energy (also known as staying hyped). It was really cool to get to see Zack Ryder, but he's a guy who can still make an impact on Raw.

One more thing: Zack Ryder is a true professional where there is no job he won't do. He proved that by taking the pin to Dash and Dawson at an NXT House show.

Emma
I feel like the entire world has forgotten that Emma was the shit. Before the "Divas Revolution" took form with the Four Horsewomen, Emma was on Paige's level, and they were tearing it up on NXT. They were the two dominant women wrestlers, making it to the finals of the inaugural Women's Title Tournament when Sasha Banks and Bayley were too green to make an impact.

Emma came in as this Australian lady that people were kind of indifferent towards, and she became beloved due to some awkward dancing and some damn fine wrestling. Unfortunately, the WWE could only focus on the former when they brought her up to the main roster and made her a comedy act with Santino. It did not go well, as they just aimlessly had her wander around until Santino retired. There was also a day where she was fired from stealing from Wal-Mart, but seriously, people should steal from Wal-Mart. She was hired back the next day, but they never really put her into anything meaningful on Raw.

Now, she has paired with Dana Brooke, and she's back to putting on good matches on NXT. She seems to be more of the sidekick in that team, which is insane, but it's at least leading to something positive. But it was a little shocking to see her at an NXT house show surrounded by up-and-comers as opposed to someone who has already shown she belongs. It's great for a fan who lives in Florida, but I'm still hoping she gets the chance to rejoin the Raw roster soon.

Tyler Breeze
The last person I want to talk about is Tyler Breeze. He doesn't fit into the same mold as the previous two people, as he has only had one match on Raw. But Tyler Breeze seems like he is, at best, getting passed by, and at worst, he's being forgotten. Sure, he's always around, but he's more there to make others feel important than actually being important. Back to that Raw match; the reason he was there was to promote the main event for NXT Takeover. This is a guy that was in the main event of the second Takeover, where he wrestled in a Fatal 4-Way with Adrian Neville, Sami Zayn, and Tyson Kidd. And it would not have been all that surprising if Breeze won that match.

And now, he's just there. Don't get me wrong; he's still putting on great matches, and his entrances at Takeover events are always a highlight, but there doesn't seem to be any direction to where he's going. I know wins and losses don't matter in the long run, but the guys who have gotten pushes onto the main roster have been NXT Champions, cultist hillbillies, and Xavier Woods. Tyler Breeze doesn't fit into any of those categories (although when you think about it, he's not too far from the Xavier Woods category). Next up, he's got Apollo Crews, and it should be another great match from Breeze, because it was pretty great when I saw it at a house show in Largo. But let's be real: Breeze ain't winning that match, and I don't know where he goes from there.

The goal is that WWE is just giving Tyler Breeze the beginning of his own "Chris Jericho: Conspiracy Theorist" angle, and Breeze turns into the most fun wrestling character on the planet. That would be ideal, but I would settle for John Cena restarting the US Title Open Challenge and immediately be defeated by Tyler Breeze. Is that too much to ask?