Natalya is a WWE wrestler, but man is she just not my cup of tea. I barely pay attention to most of the filler that WWE puts out there on a weekly basis, but Natalya is bad enough for me to leave the room and grab a snack. I am a very lazy person, so this may be the greatest burn I can give to a performer.
I honestly don't know what Natalya does well outside of "blonde hair," because WWE loves blondes. She's been doing the sharpshooter for a decade at least, and it still only looks right about 50% of the time. And that still makes her look like Female Kenny Omega compared to when you watch her do a spinning lariat which is so slow I have actually been able to take a bathroom break as she starts the spin and get back before she actually makes contact with her opponent. And my bathroom break was brown, not yellow (it came out of my butt; it's not that I'm extremely unhealthy).
So how do you stop WWE from ruining Natalya? It may seem unlikely that such an avid Natalya hater could have a solution for how to save her career in the WWE, but that is why I am a wrestling genius. End Natalya's wrestling career and make her a manager. But not just any manager, a behind the scenes manager. It doesn't matter who you pair her up with, but the wrestler will reference how Natalya has been helping her career. Natalya won't be on screen for this, but we'll know. She also won't accompany them to the ring for matches, because she will have them so well prepared that she won't need to. You will never see her, never hear her, and never even go so far as to sense her presence. I think she could thrive in this career change for the next 50, NAY, 100 years. It's really a no brainer move as it prolongs her career, and she avoids her big weaknesses as she doesn't have to be audible or visible.
Yes, I have saved WWE from ruining Natalya. YOU'RE WELCOME.
Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Alicia Fox
Andrade "Cien" Almas
Apollo Crews
Bayley
Big E
Big Show
Bobby Lashley
Bobby Roode
Carmella
Chad Gable
I honestly don't know what Natalya does well outside of "blonde hair," because WWE loves blondes. She's been doing the sharpshooter for a decade at least, and it still only looks right about 50% of the time. And that still makes her look like Female Kenny Omega compared to when you watch her do a spinning lariat which is so slow I have actually been able to take a bathroom break as she starts the spin and get back before she actually makes contact with her opponent. And my bathroom break was brown, not yellow (it came out of my butt; it's not that I'm extremely unhealthy).
So how do you stop WWE from ruining Natalya? It may seem unlikely that such an avid Natalya hater could have a solution for how to save her career in the WWE, but that is why I am a wrestling genius. End Natalya's wrestling career and make her a manager. But not just any manager, a behind the scenes manager. It doesn't matter who you pair her up with, but the wrestler will reference how Natalya has been helping her career. Natalya won't be on screen for this, but we'll know. She also won't accompany them to the ring for matches, because she will have them so well prepared that she won't need to. You will never see her, never hear her, and never even go so far as to sense her presence. I think she could thrive in this career change for the next 50, NAY, 100 years. It's really a no brainer move as it prolongs her career, and she avoids her big weaknesses as she doesn't have to be audible or visible.
Yes, I have saved WWE from ruining Natalya. YOU'RE WELCOME.
Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Alicia Fox
Andrade "Cien" Almas
Apollo Crews
Bayley
Big E
Big Show
Bobby Lashley
Bobby Roode
Carmella
Chad Gable
