Monday, April 8, 2019

The WWE Is Ruining... Braun Strowman

Braun Strowman is one of the most incredible stories of WWE incompetence in recent history. Despite being large, charismatic, and the most popular guy in the WWE, they decided he wasn't ready for a world title run and for some reason just had Brock Lesnar kick his ass consistently. It saddens me to be able to write this before WrestleMania, knowing that nothing important will happen for Strowman at the biggest show of the year, because his feud is with two nerds from Saturday Night Live.

Do you want to get really sad? Braun Strowman's only won a championship once in his WWE career, and it was the tag titles with Nicholas. He's also one of the few poor schlubs to win Money in the Bank but fail to cash in and actually win the championship. Shit man, even Carmella won the title with that thing.

WWE used to truly love big men. If you weren't 270 pounds, you were either a jobber or Macho Man. Macho Man was so awesome that not even WWE's love of size could deny him. But they took advantage of large men and pushed them straight to the top. Sure, once they got there, Hulk Hogan was waiting to defeat them, but Strowman was so popular that he could have been the Hogan in this situation. He never really said anything particularly memorable, but everything he said was deemed awesome because of how he said it. That is EXACTLY how Hogan got over back in the day, because the guy had a few catchphrases and just talked in circles to fill in the void.

So they had their modern day Hulk Hogan and just decided, "Eh, let's hold off on listening to the fans and pushing this guy, so we can let this momentum die down." And they were 100% successful.

So what they should do with Braun Strowman? Well, since I don't know who won the title at WrestleMania when I'm writing this, I'm going to make a plan where it doesn't matter. Have Braun Strowman come out on Raw tonight, challenge for the title, and beat the ever living shit out of the champion. Absolutely annihilate him to the point where you think it's the second coming of Lucha Underground's Matanza Cueto. No matter the opponent, the post-Wrestlemania crowd will lose their shit with excitement if you follow through on this plan.

Normally, you run into the issue of, "If he can beat the best guy easily, how will he ever be defeated?" But I think you can get by that fairly easily by explaining how much the WrestleMania match took out of the champion and give them a competitive match at the next pay per view. Obviously, Strowman still wins that, and then you let him go on a run that goes until at least Summerslam.

Obviously, his run ends against Roman Reigns, because it has to, but at least this time, people might be willing to cheer the guy.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Alicia Fox
Andrade "Cien" Almas
Apollo Crews
Bayley
Big E
Big Show

Bobby Lashley
Bobby Roode
Carmella
Chad Gable

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