COVID-19 has caused quite a few changes in everyday life. The grocery store is now the most exciting part of my week as it is the only reason to get far from my home. Overall, it's been great though. At first, my wife and I didn't have to go to work because we could work remotely. Then, I didn't have to go to work because I got furloughed, which, although not ideal, means that I get to fully focus on raising a one-year-old which is awesome (and exhausting). But there is some extra time for media consumption during his naps, and there is a lack of interesting things on television with the world rightfully shutting down. This has led me down some weird roads, primarily on YouTube.
It started innocently enough. I started with pro wrestling videos. Free matches and events. It started with matches from Defy that I had seen in person like Shane Strickland (now Isaiah Scott) vs. Matt Riddle (now Matt Riddle), and that led to intergender matches like Kylie Rae vs. Orange Cassidy which led me to AR Fox vs. Kimber Lee, and then things progressed to full Evolve shows. And pro wrestling led me down other paths.
YouTube kept finding my interests, so I had to watch the Iowa/Penn State wrestling dual...from 1994. I mean, it's not like I'm going to pass up a match with Lincoln McIlravy in it. Then I found out that there were about two wrestling matches every year in the 90s that some guy lifted off of Iowa Public Television and put on the web, so I watched 'em all. I was still trying to fill the hole in my heart from not having an NCAA Championships this year. It didn't quite fill the void, so I went to the hard stuff, international freestyle wrestling. Sure, I could enjoy the recent stuff from the last 15 years, but then I started going back to the 60s where I could barely follow what was going on since freestyle wrestling has had so many damn rule changes. Kurt Angle matches were a tad disappointing, but when I stumbled on Randy Lewis beating John Smith, I thought I hit the holy grail. Then I saw Lee Fullhart beat Cael Sanderson, and oh man, that was the sweetest spot. But not everything was perfect in the world of freestyle wrestling. When I made it to the mid-2000s and started seeing ball draws, I was nearly shaking with anger. I know that you probably have no idea what that means, but whatever you're imagining, I promise it is ten times dumber.
I channeled that anger in the most logical way. Early MMA events. UFC 2, oh hell yeah. World Extreme Fighting 9 including Dan Severn, Matt Hughes, Rich Franklin, and Jens Pulver, oh my god yes! After that, it was Pride, oh man, so much Pride. They're all great. Wanderlei Silva, Kazushi Sakuraba, Mark Kerr, and the crowds are truly amazing. They love the Japanese guys most, but if you go out and destroy the world in your fights, they love you almost as much.
But violence can only take you so far, so who knows what my next adventure will be...oh shit, they've got old Slamball games. My week is officially planned. Thanks, quarantine.
I’m a stupid person in that I have made countless mistakes in my life. Looking back, I almost have to question whether I was trying to fuck up with some of the mistakes that I have made. But the good thing with me is that I learn from my mistakes. Most things in life aren’t that complicated, but there is one life lesson that I need to impart on the world.
I’ve trained of and on in mixed martial arts. I’m not tough, and since I do it sporadically, I’m not very good either. But when I go, I go hard. About six months into my training, I tried something dumb, got landed on awkwardly and cracked a rib. Would I say having a cracked rib is fun? I would not say that, but it’s also not that bad of an injury. You can’t really take deep breaths and it hurts anytime your torso stretches out in any way, but it’s manageable.
Shortly after the injury, I was getting ready for practice, and my coach asked me, “How’s it going?” I responded by explaining my injury and the pain I had to push through. And you know what he did? He got up and left. He didn’t say a word, just walked away.
At first, I was kind of pissed, like, what a dick. And then I thought about it more and realized I was the dick in this situation. He was just making small-talk, and I tried to turn it into an epic tale of me persevering through injury. Like, what was I thinking? That he was going to pat me on the butt, tell me that I’m the hardest motherfucker he’s ever met, and let everybody in the gym know not to cross paths with me, the legitimate badass? No, of course not. And he also wasn’t going to heal my injury through magical powers. I knew that the best way to heal my injury was through rest, and I wasn’t willing to do that. I realized that I was just complaining to complain, and ever since that day, I have made every effort to never do that again.
My life advice is simple, “Don’t complain about it unless you’re going to do something about it.”
Too often, people bitch and complain about things, and then when you offer solutions, they make excuses. It’s all bullshit, but people spend way too much time complaining when they should be working towards change. When people complain to me, I ask a simple question, “Well, are you doing anything about it?” 99% of the time, they hum and haw and explain that they aren’t before going to their excuses. Then I let them know that I don’t want to be burdened with their bullshit if they aren’t willing to work for a change. That is not the nicest response, but it is the best one, because complaining acts as a temporary release of that stress, but it doesn’t change the fact that they are going to continue to have the same issue. When people don’t have anyone to complain to, they don’t get that temporary release, and they might just work on fixing the issue.
Now there are exceptions. Sometimes, an issue is beyond your control, and sometimes you try to make a change and get shut down, but these instances are a lot more rare than most people realize.
So unless you’re willing to work on a solution, stop putting your negative thoughts out in the universe. When you can’t complain as a crutch, it will force you to do better. Plus, it will make you way happier, because if you try to make a change and fail, you will have earned something to complain about.
I used to love mixed martial arts. I would watch all the fights. It didn’t matter if it was in America, Japan, Russia, or Poland, I could find interesting things on cards all around the world. And now, it seems as there are maybe two fights a month that I even bother watching. If anything, there should be more talent in the sport which would lead to a better product. So why am I not into it? Ultimately, I think the talent is the problem.
It seems the greater the talent, the less exciting the fights become, and you just can’t match the excitement of early UFC cards. I’m a bad fan in that I love the Royce Gracie era as much as anything that has happened in mixed martial arts. Those fights were memorable. I remember him taking on the one-gloved boxer, Art Jimmerson and Jimmerson tapping out even though Royce didn’t even do anything to him on the ground yet. I remember Ken Shamrock tapping out but then trying to continue the fight. And I remember Royce Gracie holding his choke just a little bit long on Gerard Gordeau because that dude was a nasty son of a bitch.
I think about the best fighters of today, and although they are head and shoulders above that original crew, how many have truly memorable fights? I loved GSP, but honestly, his two most memorable fights are his two losses where he got caught in an armbar by Matt Hughes and caught with every punch imaginable by Matt Serra.
Jon Jones is the greatest fighter in the world, but I don’t vividly remember any of his fights. I remember the elbows he dropped on Matt Hamill, the armbar he escaped from Vitor Belfort, and that nasty ass choke he put on Lyoto Machida, but are any of his fights actually memorable? I know the Gustaffson and second Cormier fights were close (until Cormier got caught), but it’s not like I remember much of the back and forth.
Heck, I’m not even sure if I can name all of the champions, without looking, I think it’s Cejudo, Cejudo, Volkanovski, Khabib, Usman, Adesanya, Jones, and Miocic. For women it’s Zhang, Schevenko, and Nunes. Now there are more champions these days, but I could have named them in UFC, Pride, and Strikeforce back in the day. I think Horiguchi and Bader are Bellator champs but have no clue of anyone else.
It’s just not as much fun anymore. When I think about all the fighters I would love to see on a dream card, none of them are active today. Let’s just put out ten guys that would be super fun: Cro Cop, Wanderlei, Royce, Pudzianowski, Sakuraba, Mark Kerr, Hong Man Choi, Minowaman, Lesnar, and Akebono. Now, I’m going to use a random number generator to make the fights:
Cro Cop vs. Royce Gracie
Hong Man Choi vs. Akebono
Sakuraba vs. Wanderlei Silva
Mark Kerr vs. Brock Lesnar
Pudzianowski vs. Minowaman
Good God, I would not only watch that card with everyone in their primes, I would watch that card today, and consider it the greatest gift of entertainment in this world. The one exception is Kerr/Lesnar which, in their primes, maybe the hypest I could be for any fight in MMA history, and if it were to happen now I would pay money to make sure that doesn’t happen. Also, sorry to not put a women’s match in there, but I did not need to see the man vs. woman dynamic, and the greatest women’s fight has already happened so there is no point to ever try topping it.
I know, it makes me a terrible person to yearn for the freakshow matches, but the heart wants what the heart wants. And it’s not like I could make a better UFC card with current champions facing top contenders in fresh matchups.
155 - Khabib vs. Gaethje
170 - Usman vs. Masvidal
185 - Adesanya vs. Romero
205 - Jones vs. Johnny Walker
HWT - Stipe vs. Curtis Blaydes
Okay, so Khabib/Gaethje would own, obviously, but it’s a significant dropoff from there. I even put in Johnny Walker just for funsies. Hell, I couldn’t do it with classic champions taking on current champions.
155 - BJ Penn vs. Khabib
170 - Matt Hughes vs. Usman
185 - Anderson Silva vs. Adesanya
205 - Chuck Liddell vs. Jones
HWT - Tim Sylvia vs. Miocic
That list of fights isn’t nearly as exciting, and that’s even with me putting in Tim Sylvia in the main event.
I don’t know. Clearly the skills are much better, and it’s not like there aren’t a ton of exciting finishes, but I feel like the UFC has made itself the star, and it’s really hard to care about personalities in today’s world of mixed martial arts. Even though guys got like 30 seconds to explain themselves at early UFC events, you actually saw a personality, and I guess it was wonderful to see how delusional they were to think people would believe that they were 400-0. Now I feel like every fighter is varying degrees of Cowboy Cerrone, kind of stupid, tougher than I could ever imagine to be, and thinking that they are the best in every area but taught well enough to give their opponents respect instead of speaking their truth. Why should I care?
But damn, thinking about that Kerr/Lesnar fight in their primes, now that is something that I would very much care about.
Round two continues with yet another man who is a wordsmith when it comes to discomfort taking on a good ol' boy with kids.
Joe’s #2 Rezar vs. Jonah’s #3 Heath Slater
Joe: I feel pretty comfortable in Rezar’s chances of taking out Heath Slater. I know Slater has boxing experience, but he won Golden Gloves in West Virginia, so I’m guessing he didn’t have a sober opponent until at least the semifinals, and even in the finals, I doubt his opponent was literate. What I’m saying is that I’m not buying too much into his boxing credentials. They’re better than nothing, but considering Rezar has professional fights on his record, I don’t think he’s going to have much issue with the One Man Band. What are your thoughts?
Jonah: Since when does being literate make you a good fighter? There’s plenty of boxers and MMA fighters who can’t read this article but can murder people with their fists. I do believe that Rezar is the favorite in this fight, but Slater’s no chump. He could stick and move and pull off an upset. Rezar’s the favorite but so was Dr. Death and we all know how that turned out.
Joe: Well, it is true that Floyd Mayweather can’t read, but it’s also true that West Virginia is not known for their acceptance of science, so I have to assume this includes the sweet science. Rezar knows every aspect of fighting and was good enough to do it on a professional level. Golden Gloves sounds nice, and it’s certainly better than nothing, but Rezar can win this with his hands or with takedowns as he’s simply going to overwhelm Slater in this matchup.
Jonah: Health Slater is Bart Gunn and he’s ready to swing for the fences. Should Rezar win? Yeah, better takedowns, and possibly better hands. I mean I can’t really argue that Rezar is a better all around fighter, but things get weird in shoot fighting. There are crazy upsets in the UFC, so having some weird upsets in pretty amateur wrestling and boxing shoot fights isn’t unheard of.
Joe: There are upsets in the UFC, but Heath Slater beating Rezar would like me beating up a Bellator fighter. I love me some me, but my only hope is to run away from them long enough to die of exhaustion. Not a strategy that Slater will be able to deploy in a three-minute fight. So yeah, Rezar puts a beating on Heath, and he does it in front of all of his kids.
Jonah: That strategy would work against at least two Bellator fighters that I can think of off the top of my head, so maybe not the best analogy. Rezar should win and does, but old Slater slips a few punches in.
UFC 239 is another stacked card for the premier brand in mixed martial arts. Despite having a plethora of talent on the roster, they only make cards this good 3-4 times a year, so this card is definitely one to look forward to. Now that it's fight week, I keep hearing more and more analysis that is absolutely awful, and I felt I needed to say something since things are getting out of hand.
Ben Askren is going to whoop Jorge Masvidal's ass on Saturday night. The only question is whether Masvidal survives three rounds.
I'm absolutely baffled that you could look at these two fighters and what they have done in the past and come to any other conclusion besides that one. Ben Askren's past is simple. He takes fools down and wears their asses out for as long as it takes. He has done that to EVERYONE he has faced. Now, Askren has not faced the best competition, but he hasn't faced slouches either. He beat Douglas Lima whose only losses in the last ten yars have been to Askren, Rory MacDonald, and Andrey Koreshkov, which he avenged by beating Koreshkov twice. Oh, and Koreshkov's only losses in his career are to Lima and Askren. The Askren loss sets new standards for egregious as Askren got the TKO in the fourth round while outstriking Lima 248 to 3. That is not a typo.
Meanwhile, Masvidal is on quite the hot streak of winning a grand total of one fight in a row. In fact, you can go back three fights, and he only has one win in that time as he lost his previous two before knocking out Darren Till. He got outstruck by Stephen Thompson, and before that, he got outgrappled by Demian Maia. The Maia fight is the most instructive as Maia was able to continually get takedowns on Masvidal. In analysis, people keep giving credit to Masvidal for his wrestling, but if he can't stop a Maia takedown, what the hell is he going to do against Askren? It would be generous to say Maia, who has developed a nice wrestling game for MMA, is half the wrestler that Askren is. Maybe 1/5, but I'm thinking he's more in the 10-15% as good as the man known as Funky.
But don't worry, Masvidal's coach tweeted that Jorge has a friend that wrestles, with a video of him and Yoel Romero play wrestling in a small room. I mean, that's great and all, but just because I have a friend who is a pharmacist doesn't mean that I can start writing prescriptions.
I think my favorite analysis was a guy who said that he'd pick Masvidal in a five-round fight, because he'd be able to wear Askren down by then which is about as insane of a take as I have seen this year. Askren's whole style is wearing his opponent down, and he has never shown any signs of fatigue in any match he's been in. I don't think there is any activity that Masvidal could wear down Askren in.
Like any fight, Masvidal has a puncher's chance, but even that is a reach, because he's not really a knockout guy as he's more a pressure fighter than a single knockout blow. Bet on Askren and reap the rewards on Sunday morning.
As for the title fights, Jon Jones is a fairly easy pick against, well, anyone, and Thiago Santos does not seem to present much of a threat to him.
The Amanda Nunes fight could be more interesting than people think. Nunes has run through a lot of people, but she does gas out, and Holly Holm knows how to make fights long and boring. Holm has been so hesitant to pull the trigger in fights that I still have a hard time seeing her win the fight, but I do think she can go the distance.
As for the last two fights on the main card, I say Luke Rockhold knocks out Jan Blachowicz in his light heavyweight debut. And Diego Sanchez is a total psycho, but he might be a full decade past his prime at this point so I think Michael Chiesa finishes him in the second round.
Also, one of my favorite fighters ever, Gilbert Melendez is fighting on this card, but he might be even more done than Diego Sanchez. I'm hoping for a surprise performance from the former Strikeforce Champion, but my brain has trouble seeing a path to victory for him.
Brock Lesnar is one of the greatest talents in WWE history. There is no era in pro wrestling history where this guy wouldn't have been a champion. He was dominant in his era, would have made an incredible foe for Hulk Hogan in the 80s and 90s, and may have been champion for 20 straight years during the era when you had to be able to legitimately fight to be considered a pro wrestling world champion. Brock Lesnar is the ideal pro wrestler.
Even with a limited schedule, he's been the most dominant force in the WWE in the last few years and one of the most dominant professional wrestlers in history. But the fans have turned against him and nobody raves about how awesome he is anymore. Although it looks like he may take time off to fight again in the UFC, there is one thing that will likely bring him back. For as much as Lesnar has accomplished, there is one title that has eluded him.
Yep, to save Brock Lesnar, the WWE must send him to NXT. I mean, sure, he's been a dominant WWE and Universal Champion, but he's never been able to win that NXT gold. Clearly, it would be the motivation Lesnar needs. I can just about guarantee that Bo Dallas constantly makes fun of him in catering as not being a real world champion like Bo was.
And the biggest issue with Lesnar is him not showing up enough. NXT tapes four episodes at a time. He could keep his same schedule and be on just as much as any other NXT star.
The issue is whether he could beat the best of the best. Sure, he can beat the likes of John Cena, Triple H, and Roman Reigns, but those guys have like two combined matches on NXT. Can he compete with the likes of Johnny Gargano, Adam Cole, and Eric Bugenhagen?
You want a fresh feeling and motivated Lesnar? Send him to NXT. And then let Matt Riddle retire him.
After the electric fight weekend that UFC 229 provided, both in and out of the cage, Bellator is following that up with not one but two cards. There are some well known fighters competing like Roy Nelson, Benson Henderson, and Kimbo Slice's son. The most important fight is likely Matt Mitrione vs. Ryan Bader as the winner will be the favorite to win Bellator's heavyweight tournament. But when it comes to Bellator, I don't care about importance, I care about freakshows, and Fedor Emelianenko vs. Chael Sonnen is my ideal freakshow fight.
Fedor's last impressive performance was in 2010. Most people would argue that it was actually 2009, but Fedor was whooping Werdum's ass before recklessly getting caught in a triangle choke. At the same time, his last impressive win may have been all the way back in 2005 when he fought Cro Cop in a legendary match. In between then and now, he's tattooed more cans than Campbell's (yes, I know that's a very forced joke and only semi makes sense, but it's my best an effort). That has led to Fedor winning six of his last seven, and the only one he lost nearly ended in a double knockout.
Meanwhile, Chael Sonnen is practically still in his prime as his last impressive performance and quality win happened just five years ago when he somehow choked out Mauricio "Shogun" Rua. I had completely forgotten about that, but damn, that shit is impressive. He is also on a two-fight win streak beating Wanderlei Silva and Quinton "Rampage" Jackson in fights that...happened. If I had to say something positive about them, I would say they were...televised? TV exposure is cool, I guess.
Anyway, I know I have spent the last two paragraphs shitting on these guys, but let me get to the point. I love both of them. In his prime, Fedor Emelianenko was a cyborg of violence who victimized his opponents without showing the faintest hint of emotion. his workmanlike attitude just added beauty to the violence he was inflicting upon his opponents. It was one of those things that you couldn't take your eyes off of, and his string of dominance to start his career is probably only matched by Jon Jones.
And then there's Chael Sonnen. Chael Sonnen is not a legendary fighter, but he will be remembered. Chael Sonnen nearly won two different titles with the UFC. His beatdown of Anderson Silva will always be remembered, as he was less than two minutes from a dominant decision win before getting caught in a triangle choke. He was actually closer to beating Jon Jones in their light heavyweight title match, although in a very different way. Sonnen got his ass whooped for four and half minutes before the ref stopped the fight, but had he lasted 30 more seconds, the ref would have had to call off the fight as somehow Jon Jones broke his big toe while whooping Sonnen's ass. It would have been the most Chael Sonnen way possible to win a title, and I am so disappointed it didn't go down that way.
Usually, it is uncomfortable to watch guys fight who are well past their prime, but I'm actually at peace with this fight. Chael Sonnen has somehow survived his long career in mixed martial arts without taking very many beatings, and he's smart enough to even admit that he is scared of Fedor's power as getting knocked out is not a great experience, especially for someone who really wants to avoid brain damage. On the other hand, Fedor is clearly a shell of himself after going through many wars in the cage and ring. Even when he won, he rarely exited unscathed. Luckily, Chael Sonnen is not the type of fighter to lay the hammer to Fedor. Even when Sonnen gets his opponent down, he plays it safe on top to maintain position and avoid submission which means that his ground and pound is closer to a pillow fight.
So what's going to happen? I actually see it as very close to Khabib/McGregor, in a much less skilled way, of course. Sonnen's wrestling should be good enough to mostly control where the fight takes place, but while it is on the feet, Fedor has the one punch power to end it at any time. Much like I leaned Khabib last week, I'll lean Sonnen this week, but neither outcome would surprise me. Even if the fight technically sucks, I'll still love it, because it's not about the fight, it's about the spectacle, and this fight will certainly deliver on that.
Tonight is the night of one of the most anticipated fights in UFC history. For the casual fan, it might be the biggest fight ever as McGregor has become the biggest crossover star in UFC history. Bigger than Lesnar, bigger than Rousey, even bigger than Aaron Brink (this is obviously figuratively, not literally). Meanwhile, Khabib Nurmagomedov is his greatest challenger. Not only does this fight have a ton of hype, but it is also incredibly interesting as both fighters have a way to win.
Each fighter's goal is obvious. For McGregor, he needs to keep distance and stay on his feet as he is vastly superior as a striker. I have been a McGregor hater for a long time as I continue to underestimate the guy. This is me being very dumb and also being slow to recognize that his training methods, although sometimes silly as shit, have been incredibly effective. Conor has always had power, but his movement in the cage and his ability for lightning quick strikes have gotten leaps and bounds better, and that is why he has had continued success despite most people feeling he is fairly one dimensional. "All you have to do is take him down," they say. But that is far easier said than done.
Meanwhile, Khabib has the opposite goal. Close the distance. That's it. It's not even getting takedowns, because those will happen if he can close the distance, but even in the clinch, McGregor is going to be so preoccupied with staying on his feet that Khabib can dominate McGregor without ever getting him to the mat. But if Nurmagomedov does get him on the ground? Oh yeah, McGregor is fucked. That's not because McGregor is incompetent on the ground; it's that everybody gets dominated when Khabib puts them on the mat. His positioning and body control are a thing of beauty, and it allows him to rain down strikes no matter how his opponent tries to escape.
McGregor is unmatched on the feet, and Khabib is unmatched on the ground. It is as basic of a matchup as the first UFC cards, just that these guys are using such advanced weapons that it's almost unrecognizable that the fights from 25 years ago are even the same sport from the fights today. And that classic contrast just adds to the excitement, as even though this fight is close on paper, it's really tough to see one guy not dominating the other. Somebody is going to figure out their game plan, and once they do, that other guy is screwed.
Ultimately, I am going to risk underestimating McGregor again, and I'm going with Khabib. Khabib's defense is very suspect standing up, but nobody has been able to take real advantage of it. Khabib isn't just undefeated; he's never lost a round to any of his opponents. McGregor is the best striker he's ever faced, but that's because McGregor is on an Anderson Silva level of striking these days where he can flick jabs with such lightning precision that they can drop opponents. Still, Khabib is in a good camp, and I just see him finding a way to get inside and take McGregor down. Once he has a chance to beat on McGregor, it'll take some pep out of his step, and it's just going to get easier from there. McGregor is incredible, but he can be physically broken. He got broken by Diaz in their first fight; he got broken by Mayweather, and I see him getting broken by Khabib tonight. I'm not counting McGregor out, but I have to pick Khabib. The only outcome I'd be surprised with is that if this fight goes the distance as either McGregor knocks out Khabib or Khabib breaks McGregor.
You ever find yourself, collar popped, going on a walk with your special lady? You ever get harrassed a bit? Well, even if they grab your girl and threaten you with a knife, it's easy to just relax and disarm these assailants.
Just take the knife away, and make sure that your woman can flip her attacker. The family that fights together stays together. But the best part is that a third guy runs in with a gun so the guy will drop the knife. If you have a gun and you want someone to drop a knife, I can think of one way that might be more effective, but maybe that's just me.
I also cannot get over how popped that guy's collar is. It is simply too popped. But he's for sure going to try to talk her into butt stuff tonight. Considering she also flipped a guy, maybe she'll talk him into butt stuff as well. #SexPositive
Fight fans, rejoice! We have a great weekend of combat sports action this weekend as Bellator is putting on a feature card, the UFC is putting up a pay per view with two title fights, and there is an Iowa/Ohio State wrestling meet, what more could you want? I am going to go through the top ten contests that you don't want to miss this weekend. 10. NCAA Wrestling - Sam Stoll vs. Kyle Snyder
This isn't going to necessarily be a good match. I mean, I love Sam Stoll, but Kyle Snyder isn't just the best heavyweight in the NCAA, he's got a pretty damn strong case that he's the best wrestler, at any weight, in the world. So even if this isn't going to be competitive, take advantage of being able to see Kyle Snyder wrestle. He's on his way to possibly becoming the greatest American wrestler ever. That's not hyperbole, even if he has a little ways to go; nobody has done what Snyder has accomplished at just 22 years old. Treat yourself and check him out this weekend.
9. Bellator - Michael Chandler vs. Goiti Yamauchi
This match probably isn't going to be a whole lot more competitive than the one above, but Michael Chandler is somebody you don't want to miss. Since he has never fought in the UFC, he isn't a name brand lightweight, but he can compete with the best, and he does it in a fast-paced, extremely entertaining way. His two fights against former UFC Champion, Eddie Alvarez, are some of the best of all time. He's attempting to bounce back from a weird upset loss to Brett Primus where he took a low kick and lost feeling in his foot, and he'll do so against Goiti Yamauchi. This doesn't appear to be a great matchup for Yamauchi as he is a submission specialist, and considering Chandler's background as a wrestler, I don't know how he's going to get this match to the ground. This appears to be a showcase fight for Chandler, so sit back and enjoy the show.
8. Bellator - Aaron Pico vs. Shane "The War Rhino" Kruchten
Aaron Pico is the greatest mixed martial arts prospect in history. He is an elite level freestyle wrestler who has trained in striking since he was a small child. He's built to have no weaknesses, and yet, he got upset in his very first fight against a much more experienced pro. He bounced back in his second, and I think he continues to rise against Kruchten. The War Rhino is a solid all-around fighter, but that just means that Pico is likely better in every way. Pico should hammer him, and do it fairly quickly, but it's still fun to see a young prodigy master his craft.
7. NCAA Wrestling - Michael Kemerer vs. Micah Jordan
These two will battle it out at 157. Kemerer is currently ranked second and Jordan is sixth. I think those rankings hold, but it will be good to see Kemerer get some competition as he has streamrolled just about everybody but Josh Shields in the Midlands Finals. Kemerer has certainly improved this year, so if he puts up big points in this match, it might be a sign that he has closed the gap between himself and #1 ranked, Jason Nolf. 6. Bellator - Rory MacDonald vs. Douglas Lima
This is just a good Welterweight fight for the Bellator title. Douglas Lima is another underrated Bellator fighter, as he has only lost twice in the last eight years. Once was to Andrey Koreshkov, a loss he avenged by knocking him out in their next fight, and once to Ben Askren who just retired lat month with an undefeated record. Rory MacDonald had a different path as he spent the majority of his career in the UFC, including a win over current champion, Tyron Woodley. After a long layoff, he was dominant in his first fight in Bellator where he overwhelmed Paul Daley. This will be an interesting fight to see if Lima is truly a great welterweight, or if MacDonald is going to steamroll everything in his path at Bellator.
5. Bellator - Chael Sonnen vs. Quinton "Rampage" Jackson
Okay, so I know this fight is not nearly as good as the one above it, but I'm a sucker for nostalgia, and even if it can't bring skill, at least it will have plenty of nostalgia. Neither guy has had a quality win in years. At best, they have beaten some has beens, which is good, because that means either man can get the win here. It will honestly come down to who gives slightly more of a shit at this point in their career. Chael Sonnen at least seemed mildly motivated in his win over Wanderlei Silva, and that should be enough to get the win. I could definitely see Rampage coming to the weigh in at 250 pounds since this is the first fight in Bellator's Heavyweight Tournament. It won't be pretty, but I'll definitely be watching.
4. NCAA Wrestling - Pat Downey III vs. Myles Martin
First, the Hawkeyes decided to #FreeTheLee; now it is time to #FreeTheThree. This one is still speculative as everybody seems to think Downey will wrestle for Iowa, but Tom Brands said he wasn't even supposed to talk about Downey yet. If he does, he instantly becomes one of the top contenders at 184, so I really hope that he is able to make his debut this weekend. Downey is currently at his third D-I school so his college experience hasn't been the smoothest thing ever, but when he does wrestle, it's usually pretty damn good. Martin has been fantastic this season (ranked second at 184), but he has a history of running hot and cold, and if he's cold for this match, Downey can definitely pull off the huge win, even with him not competing since the US Freestyle trials this past summer. Free The Three.
3. UFC - Daniel Cormier vs. Volkan Oezdemir
Oezdemir brings in a 15-1 recored to take on the champion, but I am just not sold on this guy as a contender. He has only had three fights in the UFC. One was a split decision against Ovince St. Preux, followed by two knockouts against Misha Cirkunov and Jimi Manuwa. OSP is now down at 185 since he never had a really impressive win at 205; Cirkunov looks great but could get knocked out by a feather, and yeah, I'll admit it, the Manuwa knockout was impressive. But Cormier seems to be a nightmare for Oezdemir. Oezdemir's one loss was to Kelly Anundson, who was a squat light heavyweight who was able to take him down and submit him. To call Anundson a poor man's Daniel Cormier may be the greatest compliment Anundson has ever received. He is a very, very...very poor man's Daniel Cormier. I think Cormier continually takes him down and just beats on Oezdemir as he pleases.
2. UFC - Stipe Miocic vs. Francis Ngannou
It's too massive heavyweights that throw bombs. Every one of Ngannou's finishes have been by stoppage, and Miocic has knocked out his last five opponents. I have no idea what's going to happen as both dudes have looked pretty damn unstoppable, but I am guessing that one of them is going to be stopped very violently. 1. NCAA Wrestling - Spencer Lee vs. Nathan Tomasello
I know what you're thinking, "Durr, this is stupid NCAA wrestling, how could you say this is a better fight than a heavyweight title fight where both guys have knockout power, durr." I know that folkstyle wrestling is not the most popular sport in the USA...yet, but just trust me on this. Tomasello just returned this month, and he put a major decision on a top-5 guy in one of his first matches back. Spencer Lee is one of the best wrestling prospects ever, and he tech falled a top-10 guy less than a month ago. Both of these guys are going to bring it, and I know I'm an extreme homer, but Spencer Lee has the tools to win this match. He has already shown that he is hell on top of guys, and he's pretty damn good on his feet as well. Tomasello has already won a National Title, and that's why he's the favorite to do it again. No matter who comes out on top, this probably won't be the last time these two see each other this season. I can't wait.
Khabib Nurmagomedov had another dominant performance this past weekend, this time against Edson Barboza, who is known for finishing opponents with some of the most brutal kicks in all of mixed martial arts. Although Barboza was able to land some hard leg and body kicks early on, Khabib just kept walking through them. In the third round, Barboza nailed Khabib with a spinning back kick to the head, and Nurmagomedov just kept walking forward. At this point, you could see the defeat in Barboza's eyes, and he dutifully took his punishment for the remainder of the fight.
This is why Khabib Nurmagomedov is the ideal fighter. And when I saw that, maybe I should clarify that he is my ideal fighter, but honestly, I don't see how he is not a top-5 favorite fighter for anyone who watches mixed martial arts.
My favorite all-time fighter, and a huge reason I fell in love with the sport, was Wanderlei Silva. Silva's wrestling was absolute shit, but all the dude did was charge forward and try to separate his opponent from consciousness as quickly and violently as possible.
He did this with no concern for his own safety as he was willing to take some punishment in order to get what he wanted. It is not an intelligent way to fight, but it damn sure is entertaining.
But as anyone who frequents this blog knows, I love the sport of wrestling. I believe that it is not only the best fighting background, but it is also just beautiful to watch. Although most people would agree on the first part, the latter usually gets some raised eyebrows. It may be more psychological than physiological, but it is damn near impossible for me to watch someone go out and remove a person from their feet against their will. Ben Askren is the poster child for this in mixed martial arts as he used his Olympic-level background in wrestling to physically dominate every opponent he faced and retire with an undefeated record.
And it's not like I don't enjoy the striking side of mixed martial arts. I just prefer for it to be on a grounded opponent. I think all males, and possibly a good portion of females (I really can't speak for them) have imagined what it would be like to get in a fight. You can imagine yourself standing and trading blows. You can imagine yourself winning, and if you're realistic, you can probably imagine what it's like to be losing a fight on your feet; it's not ideal, but you can at least imagine the scenario.
What nobody imagines is the feeling of getting in a fight and being on the ground as strikes rain down. The feeling of being trapped where your only two options are to take punishment and hang on. There is no escape. I have trained those scenarios in safe environments, and it still makes me a little ill to my stomach thinking about it. Although it is forgotten due to his fighting style later on in his career, Fedor Emelianenko was a monster at this in his prime, as he would get on top of guys and brutally pound through their defense. His opponents' only escape was if the ref decided to show mercy and restart the fight on their feet.
That's why Khabib is so much fun to watch. He combines aggression, wrestling, and a physically dominant style. There are only three things on his mind: Pressure, pressure, and pressure. He will take some punishment from good strikers, but it never deters him. He refuses to give his opponent room to breathe, because he knows that eventually he is going to get a hold of his opponent, and once he does, they are going to be in a world of hurt.
Khabib has ridden this strategy to an undefeated record in his career, and maybe the craziest thing is that everybody knows the strategy to beat him. Be able to strike at range and have excellent movement in the cage. It's easy to say but incredibly difficult to do. Barboza was able to do this for about half a round before he let Nurmagomedov get to him, and then he took a beating for the rest of the round and never looked the same the rest of the fight. After the fight, Khabib said that he could have finished the fight but wanted to fight longer to give himself more time in the cage. He finishes opponents as he pleases.
Khabib Nurmagomedov is the ideal fighter, and if he's not already your favorite fighter, just know that you are wrong, and you need to remedy that situation immediately.
UFC Fight Night: Poirier vs. Pettis happens this weekend, and there are actually a lot of fights that I am interested in. In fact, I would say there are more fights on this card that I am excited about than last week's ballyhooed UFC 217. I'm going to limit it to the five fights I am most interested in, but from the prelims through the main card, this one is definitely worth your time.
5. Raphael Assuncao (-330) vs. Matthew Lopez (+270)
This is pretty clearly a fight where the UFC has no idea what to do with Raphael Assuncao. His only loss in the last six years is to TJ Dillashaw, and that only makes them 1-1 against each other. But he also has been on the right side of three split decisions during that time, so it's not like he's been dominant. Lopez provides an interesting matchup as he has a strong wrestling background and some nasty ground and pound that he used to upset Johnny Eduardo in his last fight. If Lopez can control the positions, he's dangerous, but I think Assuncao has a few too many weapons to see him getting upset in this one.
4. Andrei Arlovski (+317) vs. Junior Albini (-392)
This is just two large men who are going to slug it out. Albini is the heavy favorite for good reason as he's been crushing fools since losing a couple fights by submission early in his fighting career. Arlovski has lost his last five fights, but he's put some scares in people during that time as he still has great power in his hands, but when heavyweights find his chin, he usually finds the floor. Arlovski has provided me loads of entertainment over the years, but win or lose, I'm kind of hoping he hangs it up after this one. Oh, and I'm expecting lose.
3. Joe Lauzon (-115) vs. Clay Guida (-105)
Neither of these guys are relevant for the title picture, but they are both high-paced fun fighters that have been around the UFC forever. I mean, Joe Lauzon debuted against Jens Pulver at UFC 63, and Clay Guida debuted the next month at UFC 64. I've been ready to give up on both of these guys as relevant fighters multiple times, but then they will bounce back and look great, making me look very stupid. Either way, this is going to be a high-paced, super fun fight. I'm taking Clay Guida, because I think he can control the fight with his wrestling, especially with him now training at Team Alpha Male. It's a close fight, but I figure I should give the edge to the person who was nice to me (Joe Lauzon has never interacted with me, for the record).
2. Dustin Poirier (+106) vs. Anthony Pettis (-126)
The main event of the evening only gets the second spot on my list. There is no doubt that these are two incredibly talented fighters who could be deserving of a title shot down the line. Dustin Poirier almost made a leap into title contention during his last fight, but it was cut short due to an illegal knee strike from Eddie Alvarez. Anthony Pettis has been on top of the mountain and now is trying to work his way back up. Pettis has looked more tentative in his last handful of fights, as he used to pair smooth striking with well-timed aggression, but now it's almost like he's waiting for the perfect time to strike instead of racking up points using good times to strike. Even with that, the only person to really outclass Pettis was Max Holloway who is making everyone look like a fool. I'm going to take Pettis by decision, but I don't feel great about it.
1. John Dodson (-125) vs. Marlon Moraes (+105)
Full disclosure: John Dodson once trained me in mixed martial arts, so I am incredibly biased for this fight. With that being said, I'm kind of in line with the betting odds on this one. I see it as a very close fight as I like Moraes a lot and thought he did enough to win in his UFC debut against Raphael Assuncao. But Dodson is really, really good. He has two losses to Demetrious Johnson, and he came out on the wrong end of a split decision against John Lineker, a fight that most people thought Dodson won, and a fight that Lineker did not make weight for. Moraes is good, but he's not Mighty Mouse good, and that's why I think Dodson takes it and immediately calls out TJ Dillashaw (who he knocked out in their UFC debuts) after the fight.
For a random fight night card, there is a lot to look forward to. And I didn't even have time to mention Matt Brown vs. Diego Sanchez, Nate Marquardt vs. Cezar Ferreira, and a Sage Northcutt fight. It's not the super fights of last weekend, but it's still going to be fun. As Steve Brule would say, "Check It Out."
Georges St. Pierre returns tomorrow night, and this is one of the most exciting comebacks in MMA history. Usually when guys are coming back after a retirement, it usually leads to morbid curiosity as I almost certainly know that a legend from the past is going to get smashed, but I still hold out that bit of hope that maybe they can show some of their past magic. GSP is different as despite a four-year layoff, he is still younger than his opponent on Saturday night.
So the question is, does GSP have what it takes to win a title at a different weight class than the one he specialized in after taking a long hiatus from the sport? Well, it's not going to be easy. Mixed Martial Arts is maybe the fastest evolving sport that we have. Just when you think a fighter has figured things out, somebody comes out of nowhere to shock the world. Anderson Silva was unbeatable until Chris Weidman had his number; nobody could handle Dominick Cruz's footwork until Cody Garbrandt came along and did it better; and Jon Jones continually gets TKO'd by USADA. Although GSP proved to be nearly unstoppable in his prime; we're years away from that era.
GSP's greatest strength is his versatility. He lacked a clear weakness, so opponents couldn't find an easy way to exploit him. Even if they were better in one area, GSP was strong enough in other facets of the fight game to keep them out of that area and control the match for victory. But even if he has versatile skills, have those skills grown, have they stagnated, or have they already started to deteriorate? It's not like those skills couldn't have grown. His opponent is a great example of that as Michael Bisping is fighting better now than he ever has in his career.
Speaking of Michael Bisping, he presents an interesting fight for St. Pierre. He's not a guy known for knockout power, but if he connects, as he did against Luke Rockhold, he definitely can put a guy out. Out of GSP's past opponents, I would say Bisping's style most closely matches up with Carlos Condit, a guy with good footwork who can strike in a variety of ways. GSP dispatched of Condit fairly easily, but Bisping is larger and has better wrestling defense. And that latter part is where this fight is going to be won.
If Bisping keeps it standing, I don't think GSP will offer enough on the feet to win the fight, but if Bisping's sprawl isn't on point, it is going to be 25 minutes of ground and pound for him as GSP is excellent at controlling opponents on the ground. Since I wear GSP-tinted glasses, I think he has the wrestling to get the fight to the ground and control the fight, making a triumphant return to the UFC to win the Middleweight Title.
The Rest of UFC 217
Since this card is in New York, they put together quite a stacked card. Although, GSP/Bisping is the main event and the one I am most excited for, here are quick thoughts and predictions for the four other fights on the main card.
Johny Hendricks vs. Paulo "Borrachinha" Henrique Costa
I really don't care about this fight. Borrachinha is an up and coming prospect as he is undefeated and has finished his first two opponents in the UFC. That part is interesting. Unfortunately, it is against Johny Hendricks, a guy who has had the fight beaten out of him in the last few years. The guy got lazy with the Welterweight limit, so he moved up in weight and still managed to miss the Middleweight limit. He's a man fighting for a paycheck, and considering he'll be making six figures to do it, it's good money to take a beating, but that's all I see happening in this fight. I say the Brazilian stops him in the first round.
Stephen Thompson vs. Jorge Masvidal
Don't sleep on this fight. Stephen Thompson's only loss in the last five years is to the Welterweight Champion, Tyron Woodley, and that was only by Majority Decision. But do not underestimate Jorge Masvidal, the man with the worst luck in the UFC. In the last six years, he has five losses, but four of those were by split decision, and Masvidal has fought some of the best in the division during that time. I think this is a super close fight, but nobody's truly figured out Thompson yet as even Woodley was just barely able to get by, so I'll stick with Masvidal's bad luck continuing and him losing by decision to Wonderboy.
Joanna Jędrzejczyk vs. Rose Namajunas
Good God, does this division need easier to spell names. Namajunas is about as easy as it gets with these Strawweight Ladies. Anyway, there's a reason that Jedrzejczyk is champion. Namajunas most impressive win was beating up Michelle Waterson in her last fight, and although that was impressive, Waterson is undersized for the Strawweight division. Also, the fact that Namajunas couldn't handle Karolina Kowalkiewicz in the fight before that, someone that Jedrzejczyk handled easily is not a good sign for her chances. Namajunas sticks around for the whole fight, but the champion retains. Cody Garbrandt vs. TJ Dillashaw
TJ Dillashaw is a tremendous fighter. He puts up a high pace and has knockout power to back it up. He combines this with an impressive wrestling pedigree, and when you put it all together, it's kind of surprising he isn't an unbeatable champion reigning over his division. No matter how you slice it, Dillashaw is a special fighter.
But Cody Garbrandt is SPECIAL. He is so freaking good. All of the compliments I gave Dillashaw above can also be said about Garbrandt, except his knockout power is so impressive that he has finished all but two of his opponents via strikes. I'll admit, I thought Dominick Cruz was going to be unbeatable in that division, but Garbrandt not only beat him, he did it while talking shit the entire fight. There is a lot of bad blood in this fight, and for actual action, I don't think you can top this one. Dillashaw is super good, but I say Garbrandt not only wins, he finishes him late in the fight.
The UFC is putting on so many fight cards that many of them get watered down. This is not one of those times, as this is definitely worth going out of your way to see.
Although I try to act like an adult and not let small things bother me, sometimes I fail. And sometimes, these things are so shockingly small, yet cause me so much irritation that I must share my thoughts with the world. Even though I love watching mixed martial arts fights, I get irritated before every single fight when they display the tale of the tape.
I have no problem with the photos, the age, height, the weight, or even the shitty advertisement at the bottom. it's just that Reach column that irritates me more than I would like to admit. According to this, Robbie Lawler has a 74 inch reach and Rory MacDonald has a 76 inch reach. Reach, like how far you can reach with one of your arms from your body. According to this, both of these men have arms that are over six feet long, each arm being taller than their entire body. How is that possible?
It isn't; it's all because the UFC doesn't know the difference between reach and wingspan. You don't measure from the end of one hand to the end of the other hand for reach, because that is completely irrelevant when it comes to fighting. Reach is actually super important, and it would be interesting to see the actual reach of the fighters.
You may be thinking that you can just cut the advantage in half and call it a day, but again, wingspan is not directly correlated to reach. There is this thing called the torso in between and that can vary from athlete to athlete. So a guy with a longer wingspan wouldn't necessarily have the reach advantage in a fight. Unfortunately, we'll never know, because the entire sport of mixed martial arts is too stupid to recognize the difference between reach and wingspan.
Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream. I have my dream. Although mine is much smaller and less impactful, I think it could bring a lot of joy to people's lives if mixed martial arts finally figured out the difference between reach and wingspan. Please, Endeavor, you own the UFC; now is your time to make a difference.
The United States World Team Trials for freestyle wrestling happened last weekend, and, as always, it was one of the most underrated sporting events of the year. Incredible battles with incredible drama led to this being one of the most memorable team trials in recent history. Some guy's dreams came true, while far more were left with bitter disappointment. But disappointment can lead to opportunity, so I wanted to take a look to find out who would best transition from the sport of wrestling to the sport of mixed martial arts.
I'm only going to be looking at guys who fell short at the trials, because the guys who won clearly have some wrestling left to do in their careers. I also won't be including guys still in college, as I don't see any wrestler abandoning wrestling altogether at that age. So let's start at 57 KG (pounds will be put in their likely weight class as opposed to the exact KG equivalent) and work our way up.
57 KG - Nahshon Garrett (125 pounds)
Garrett hasn't had a great transition from folkstyle to freestyle, as this year he was on the losing end of a technical fall in his first match against Alan Waters, followed by a decision loss to Darian Cruz. Still, Garrett is an explosive athlete that can absolutely overwhelm opponents. In college, he would overwhelm opponents with his athleticism. With that sort of style, he could make an immediate impact in mixed martial arts, and considering the athlete that he is, it's not hard to envision him becoming good in all aspects of fighting. Of course, considering he got an education from Cornell, it wouldn't be surprising if he was too smart to get in the fight game.
61 KG - Joe Colon (135 pounds)
Colon is another guy who struggled at the team trials, as he went 1-2, only managing a win over NCAA runner-up, Seth Gross. But again, his struggles in freestyle do not take away from his incredible physicality. Colon is the type of wrestler that can simply overwhlem his opponents. His freestyle technique is nowhere near the best, but that technique will still be better than anybody he faces in MMA, and it's the physicality that will put him over the top.
65 KG - Jordan Oliver (145 pounds)
Unlike everyone else on this list, Oliver did not compete at the US Team Trials, but that was due to a drug suspension as opposed to not being good enough. I mean, with a drug suspension already on his record, he's basically living that MMA lifestyle already. Also, Oliver has consistently fell short of representing the United States in international competition. At first, Brent Metcalf got the better of him, then it was Molinaro, and now, when he had his best shot, he got popped for performance enhancing drugs, and Zain Retherford looks to be the guy taking over the weight class. I think it's time for a change of competition if he wants to make an impact in athletics.
70 KG - Dylan Ness (155 pounds)
Dylan Ness is funk personified. He is incredible at getting in the weirdest possible positions and somehow always coming out in an advantageous spot. No one has shown this sort of funk acumen since Ben "Funky" Askren. Now, Ness is not the wrestler that Askren was, but Askren has shown the blueprint for how to transition his skillset into mixed martial arts. Was it all just the wrestling of Askren that led him to greatness, or are funky wrestlers better at translating their skills to fighting? I would love to see Ness give it a go so we could find out.
74 KG - Kyle Dake (170 pounds)
74 KG is likely the most loaded weight class for potential MMA superstars. Jordan Burroughs could be amazing, but after pulling off another victory at the trials, he was ineligible for this list as he definitely has some more wrestling in his future. Isaiah Martinez is an absolute beast, but he's still in college, so he has some growth to do. I went back and forth on the last two guys, but eventually went with Kyle Dake over Alex Dieringer. Dieringer is still young and seemed to close the gap on Dake, so he very well may be the future of the weight class when Burroughs retires. Of course, he may never be able to pass up Dake, as it is not like Dake doesn't still have some strong years in him. Still, I went with Dake as "Kid Dynamite" would simply be too much fun to see in MMA. Dake is not only explosive, but even in college, he was smart enough to do whatever it took to win, never worrying about being the most exciting guy, just being concerned with being the best. I would love to see him transition that wrestling acumen to fighting. 86 KG - David Taylor (185 pounds)
I cannot imagine David Taylor making the transition to MMA, but it'd be pretty cool if he did.
97 KG - Kyven Gadson (205 pounds)
Gadson is the last American to beat super human wrestling machine, Kyle Snyder, but Snyder showed that things have changed quite a bit in the last two years. With Snyder around, there really isn't any future for Gadson to represent the United States. Still, you'd have trouble finding a wrestler with a much higher ceiling than Gadson. His biggest issue has always been consistency. Although he's not Kyle Snyder, he's still really good at wrestling, and he has the skills to give a lot of people trouble in what isn't all that deep of a weight class.
125 KG - Tony Nelson (HWT)
So right now the best choice would seem to be Nick Gwiazdowski, but since he's busy dominating the American Heavyweight division in wrestling, I had to move on to someone else. Although I wanted to be a homer and go for former Hawkeye, Bobby Telford, I think the former Golden Gopher, Tony Nelson is probably the best choice. Looking at the heavyweight division, I feel like Nelson could be a top-10 UFC heavyweight within a couple years.
Wrestling is the world's toughest sport, and that is why wrestlers do such a good job when moving to mixed martial arts. I have no doubt that if these guys would do great if they decided to make the transition.
Brawl For All was one of the most fascinating ideas in WWE history. It's when the WWE took the reality era to a logical place, having real fights, under extraordinarily stupid rules. You may think the WWE did this to capitalize on the popularity of the UFC, and I'm sure that was kind of the case, but there was just one problem. WWE is always like five years behind on things, so instead of the UFC being fresh and exciting, it was actually at its lowest point in popularity since starting in 1993. It was literally the worst time to have Brawl For All, but as it turned out, there was never going to be a good time to have Brawl For All.
The rules allowed punching and takedowns with most punches landed in a round worth five points, each takedown worth five points, and a knockdown being worth 10 points. The entire fight was three one-minute rounds with 30 seconds rest between each round.
We left after the first four fights of the first round. I should point out that the referee from the first four fights, legendary wrestler and shooter, Dan Hodge, is no longer refereeing, probably because he's embarrassed to be watching this. But I'm not embarrassed, so let's continue the action of these glorious first round battles. Round 1: Bart Gunn vs. Bob Holly
Bart Gunn was one half of the Smoking Gunns until his teammate, Billy Gunn, decided to become a new-aged Honky Tonk Man known as Rockabilly, and eventually would move on to Degeneration X. Bob Holly started off as Thurman "Sparky" Plugg, a NASCAR themed pro wrestler, and he just slowly moved away from that but was still completely inconsequential at this point. The most interesting aspect of this was that these two were currently tag team partners but would have to square off in Brawl for All. It started off great as Bob Holly gave a shove to Bart Gunn's back before the match started. Then the fight started, and it was by far the cleanest fight that I had seen up to this point. It wasn't great by any means, but Bart Gunn threw a pretty clean jab, and Bob Holly tried to work inside to attack the body. Unfortunately, Bart was able to do damage with a hooking uppercut that you never see from professional fighters, because it's about the easiest angle to block imaginable, but it worked fairly well against Holly. Bart Gunn outpointed Holly in every round in what was the most technically skilled fight, but as I mentioned, it still wasn't a great fight.
Oh yeah, and the greatest part happened after the fight when Bart tried to congratulate his tag partner for a hard fight, and Bob Holly threw a sucker punch, and they started brawling. Somehow, this match was one of the few I couldn't find online, so here's video highlights from a hardcore match they had a year later.
Round 1: Dan "The Beast" Severn vs. The Godfather
So, unfortunately, I found the video but can't embed it, but you really need to watch it because the commentary really makes the match. The Godfather had a pimp wrestling gimmick where he came out with "hos" (local strippers) to the ring. He went up against Dan Severn, who earned his "Beast" nickname as a former UFC Champion who was an incredibly high level Greco Roman wrestler. Yep, just a UFC Champion vs. a Pimp in a real fight. The fight went as you would expect, where Godfather actually looked okay on the feet, but he couldn't stop a takedown. Severn clearly had two takedowns in every round, but the commentary is possibly the most clueless bullshit in the history of the WWE, which is saying a lot. Jerry Lawler and Shawn Michaels know about as much about fighting as my aunt. I'm not sure if they have ever seen any form of amateur wrestling in their lives. Every time Severn took him down, both of them were like, "Well, I don't think that's a takedown." Severn was literally pinning Godfather, and they both agreed, "Well, that may be a pin, but that's not a takedown." Also amazing was the fact that the production truck was listening to the guys on commentary for scoring, so they somehow had Godfather up 10-5 after two rounds. The real judges got the score right as Severn advanced with relative ease.
Round 1: Quebecer Pierre vs. "Dr. Death" Steve Williams
I know every review of these fights is, "Holy shit, this one is somehow even crazier than the one before," but holy shit, this one is even crazier than the one before, and it cannot possibly be topped. Quebecer Pierre wore an eye patch to the ring. This wasn't a gimmick eye patch either; he legitimately only had one eye. They let a man with one eye get in a legitimate fight against probably the second biggest favorite in the tournament, Steve Williams. Williams was afour-time All-American wrestler and football player at the University of Oklahoma. He's about as legit of a badass as you can possibly be without being a professional fighter. They matched him up against a one-eyed man. Dr. Death just tooled him with takedowns, which was good because it was pretty clear that ol' Stevie was not too strong with his boxing. Ol' Pierre was completely exhausted about ten seconds into the second round but he continued to take a beating until the ref eventually called a standing knockout with five seconds left since Pierre never fell to the ground, he was just really tired. Also, he only had one eye. Enjoy it in all of its glory.
First Round: 2 Cold Scorpio vs. 8-Ball
Brawl for All was so consistently getting booed out of the building that they put this match on before Raw started and just showed about thirty seconds of highlights. 2 Cold Scorpio was a high flyer who gave up about sixty pounds to 8-Ball who was part of a biker gang tag team. 8-Ball apparently beat on him early but then faded as Scorpio was able to take the final two rounds and win the match. It looked like there were some fun flurries, but since the WWE was worried about their precious ratings, we never got to see this match in its entirety.
But that wraps up the first round. Next time, we will go over the second round, and oh yes, it will continue to be a clusterfuck of epic proportions.
Brawl For All was one of the most fascinating ideas in WWE history. It's when the WWE took the reality era to a logical place, having real fights, under extraordinarily stupid rules. You may think the WWE did this to capitalize on the popularity of the UFC, and I'm sure that was kind of the case, but there was just one problem. WWE is always like five years behind on things, so instead of the UFC being fresh and exciting, it was actually at its lowest point in popularity since starting in 1993. It was literally the worst time to have Brawl For All, but as it turned out, there was never going to be a good time to have Brawl For All.
The rules allowed punching and takedowns with most punches landed in a round worth five points, each takedown worth five points, and a knockdown being worth 10 points. The entire fight was three one-minute rounds with 30 seconds rest between each round.
Before we get started with the "fights," I'd like to point out that this tournament is officiated by a 70 year old dude who seems pretty spry. That's because he's Danny Hodge, a legend in amateur and professional wrestling, and I would probably pick him to beat at least half of these guys. And that's not in his prime. That's 70-year-old Dan Hodge just schooling fools. In his prime, he wins the whole tournament.
1st Round - Marc Mero vs. Steve Blackman
This was probably the most interesting fight of the first round on paper. Marc Mero was a Golden Gloves boxer and Steve Blackman was some sort of kickboxer who seemed to be good with numbchucks. Unfortunately, there were no numbchucks allowed for this one. I'm guessing the WWE thought this would be a good slugfest to get things going. Instead, Blackman put on a wrestling clinic, and there were only about seven punches thrown in the fight, as Blackman landed ten takedowns over the three minute fight. Honestly, Blackman's blast double looked pretty good, and he believably could have fought some real fights. I'd totally take Blackman over CM Punk in a fight. Unfortunately, the crowd booed the fight the entire time, so it was not an ideal start to things. Also not ideal, Blackman got hurt training for his next match and Mero got put back in the tournament despite losing his first fight 65-0.
Brawl For It All Fight 1by xusername26x 1st Round - Mark Canterbury vs. Bradshaw
Canterbury was formerly in a white trash hillbilly gimmick as Henry O. Godwin (HOG, get it?) but wanted to go by his real name, so he could get all the fame from winning Brawl For All. Bradshaw thought he was the toughest guy in the WWE but would later get punked out by ECW announcer Joey Styles. This was more what the WWE was looking for, but it was still fairly shitty. These guys came out swinging for the fences and throwing haymakers but generally not looking like they knew what they were doing. After about 30 seconds, they came to a scary realization: Fighting is super tiring. So they both rested for the second half of the first round. Then Bradshaw threw some decent punches in the second round and rocked Canterbury, but it still wasn't enough to get a knockdown. Before the third round, the fans had started a "Boring" chant, and the third round delivered on that chant as neither guy had any energy.
1st Round - Brakus vs. Savio Vega
Poor Brakus. He was a massive German who had the look that Vince McMahon loves. They had vignettes building him up, but he got put in the Brawl for All and got his face smashed by Savio Vega, because Vega was a legitimately tough Puerto Rican. He fought like you would expect a bodybuilder to fight, big punches with thuds but no snap in them, and Savio was much quicker and repeatedly punched Brakus in the face. He tried using his strength for takedowns, but that only worked in the first round. Then, Savio adjusted, and repeatedly punched the guy in the face. This was basically the end for Brakus.
1st Round - Hawk vs. Darren "Puke" Drozdov
This may be my favorite fight of the entire tournament. It wasn't good by any means, but it was hilarious. Hawk was a tag team wrestling legend, and Darren Drozdov could puke on command. Hawk came out as Hawk with full wrestling attire and face paint for his fight. I think all UFC fighters should start wearing face paint, because it is totally awesome. Then to start this fight, it looked like Drozdov did not want to throw punches. Then Hawk kept punching him in the face, and Drozdov just kept taking punches. In the second round, Drozdov just repeatedly threw right hands but they connected a good amount and he rocked Hawk a couple times to win the second round. Then, they both threw punches in the third round. Since Hawk had the cardio of an obese 70 year-old, he had to spit his mouthpiece out to breathe, and Drozdov decided to do the same. They threw more punches at each other, and it was bad but mildly entertaining. Then, the most amazing thing happened. They called it a Draw. In the third round, they landed the exact same amount of punches. No fourth round, no nothing. I have no idea how they planned to decide who was going to move on. Luckily, Hawk was injured in the fight, so they had to keep Drozdov in the thing.
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