Monday, November 22, 2010

Jose Canseco Needs a Hug

Jose Canseco should be a hero to all, yet he seems to only be a hero to me.  The world is constantly taking a shit on him, but he manages to power through all the haters to keep on keepin' on.  It seems like things were tough for Jose this weekend, as he became the biggest supporter of hugs since Barney the Dinosaur.  Let's take a look at Jose's cries for help.

JoseCanseco I am broke but I am happy do you need a hug even I need one sometimes
Jose is broke as he has made this extremely clear on multiple occasions.  Most people would be ashamed that they blew millions of dollars, but Jose brings it up every chance that he gets.  Honestly, good for him.  The one thing his poverty has caused is the need for hugs.  Just like REM said, "Everybody hurts...sometimes."

JoseCanseco If I could hug you to take your pain away I would
This is definitely a cry for help.  He is offering to hug away others' pain, but in all reality, he just needs someone to help him hug away his own demons.  As someone who suffers from some of the same things, I can tell you that it is not easy being awesome like me and Jose.

JoseCanseco Hugs for everyone who needs them from me
This gets slightly more desperate, as he would hug a leper to just feel the touch of a caring human.  Jose offers the hugs to people who need them when there is nobody who needs a hug more than him.  Is it sad?  Yes.  Pathetic?  Definitely.  Do I hold it against him?  Of course I do.  Would I give him a hug?  You bet your ass I would.

JoseCanseco Who needs a hug out there
Jose is desperate for a hug.  Unfortunately, people are hesitant to start hugging the emotional wreck with a history of steroid use and violent mood swings.  Their loss.

JoseCanseco Hug the person next to you and tell me how you feel
I like to imagine that Jose went to the most crowded place he could find when he Tweeted this message.  He then closed his eyes and spread his arms as wide as he could, just hoping for the sweet relief of a human embrace.  Was it a success?

JoseCanseco I feel like someone cares about me
Yes, it was a success.  To that person who finally gave Jose Canseco a hug, thank you.  He needed it, I needed it, the world needed it.

Jose may be known as a Bash Brother, but even he needs a Hug Hero every now and then.


P.S.  Taj Gibson is goofy in everything he does, especially smiling.

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