Monday, July 8, 2019

The WWE Is Ruining... The Authors of Pain

After a brief hiatus to discuss every possible person in the WWE’s developmental system, we are back to discuss how the WWE is ruining their talent. Since we took a hiatus, let’s tackle two guys in Akam and Rezar, the Authors of Pain.

By the time the Authors of Pain left NXT, they seemed impossible to screw up. Both guys are legit athletes as Rezar fought in mixed martial arts professionally, and Akam was nearly an Olympian in wrestling. Not only did they have tremendous size and athleticism, but they got SO MUCH BETTER in a short period of time when it came to their wrestling skills. They were naturals, and it seemed like they were destined to dominate a tag division for a decade.

Instead, they have not dominated the tag division. In fact, their run has been a total embarrassment. Yes, AOP did win the tag titles once, defeating Seth Rollins and...oh, absolutely nobody. They beat Seth Rollins in a handicap match to win the tag titles. Well, there is no way that they could lose the tag titles in an even dumber fashion.

Oh, wait, this is the WWE we’re talking about.

So, of course they lost their titles, not by getting pinned or submitted, or even disqualified or counted out. Instead, their manager, Drake Maverick was pinned by Bobby Roode and Chad Gable. Is this the part where I should talk about how Roode and Gable were a short-lived tag team, or is this the part where I should talk about how the feud was centered around Drake Maverick pissing his pants?

The solution is so simple with AOP, and the sad thing is the WWE already knew the answer. Just let them be your Legion of Doom. You let them be indestructable badasses and have a manager do their talking for them. They don’t need Paul Ellering, and they definitely don’t need a cosplaying Drake Maverick, so let’s call up Stokely Hathaway and have him build a stable of badasses with him as the mouthpiece.

Then just let them have wrestling matches. Put them against The Revival, bring back American Alpha, wait, I’m just recreating the NXT tag division from a few years ago. Ah, fuck it, let’s just do it. Get DIY together, hell, I even want to see Blake get called up to tag up with Buddy Murphy. That tag division ruled, so let’s just have them recreate everything they did in NXT on the main roster.

Akam and Rezar can bring the pain. Just let me be the author of their story.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Ali

Alicia Fox
Andrade "Cien" Almas
Apollo Crews
Bayley
Big E
Big Show

Bo Dallas
Bobby Lashley
Bobby Roode
Braun Strowman
Brock Lesnar
Carmella
Chad Gable

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