The WWE Is Ruining... Alicia Fox

As a pro wrestling fan, it is a part of our identity to always know how to utilize wrestlers better than the WWE. If WWE would just give me, random WWE fan, a job a the company, ratings would immediately rise to the levels of the Monday Night Wars, despite how television ratings have changed as a whole over the last 20 years. But until that happens, WWE will continue ruining our favorite wrestlers, and that is why it is time to point out the error in their ways. Because of WWE's incompetence, I am literally going to pick a wrestler at random and point out how they could be better utilized, because WWE is ruining everyone in one way or another.

Today, we look at a woman with one of the longest tenures in the WWE, Alicia Fox.

I wouldn't say I am a huge Alicia Fox fan. But I am far from an Alicia Fox hater. I would say that she was one of the more entertaining wrestlers in the Divas division. Unfortunately, the WWE then transitioned to a women's division, and Alicia Fox stayed just as good where all of the talent around her got better. She's still fine in the ring, and on the positive side, she is someone who can believably show emotion, although they have really only given her a chance to show the "emotion" of crazy.

Currently, instead of giving her any direction, her entire character seems to be, "wears funky clothing." She's ostensibly a heel because she occasionally hangs out with Alexa Bliss and Mickie James, but maybe she's just a supportive friend. It's not like there are a lot of honorable characters to hang out with in the women's division, and shit, it can get pretty lonely on the road, so you make friends with what's available.

So what to do with Alicia Fox? My personal preference is a reunion with Noam Dar, just so I can hear Alicia Faaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggggggggggggggssssssssssss again. But I'm not sure if that idea has legs for an audience outside of me and...yeah, it actually might just be me. So for a serious idea is at least let her be a character. Make her over the top but keep it consistent for more than three weeks so it can actually get some legs underneath it. I'm not saying she should ever even be fighting for a title, hell, I don't care if she ever wins a match, but she can still be outrageous.

Here's a fun angle that will make no sense but will make her super enjoyable. Have her be the daughter of Norman Smiley. Smiley becomes her manager, she starts doing the big wiggle during matches, she could start up a women's hardcore title where she can be in full pads, hell, let her inexplicably develop a British accent...oh shit, I actually love this idea. Good God, WWE, this idea has legs. Make this happen immediately.

I'm pretty sure I just made Alicia Fox my favorite wrestler. So to me, I say thank you, and you're welcome.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Bobby Lashley
Charlotte Flair
Dana Brooke
Dash Wilder
Kane
Kofi Kingston
Mickie James
Nia Jax
Peyton Royce
Randy Orton
Scott Dawson
Tyler Breeze

The 14 Worst Things About XWF Episode 2

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Date Night at NXT Largo

I've got a good thing going with my wife where I can count going to NXT shows as date nights. She still isn't a big wrestling fan, but her interest is growing. Also, I think she has street cred with the Internet Wrestling Community as she is a bigger fan of NXT than the main roster. We recently moved, and maybe the best thing about the new place is we are eight minutes from the Minnreg Hall which hosts NXT house shows about once a month.

First off, Minnreg Hall is pretty awesome. They have a full blown concession stand with a kitchen to cook you up something fresh. Amazingly, they not only sell beer, but they are whipping up mixed drinks as well. Since I am the oldest 30 year-old around, I was not prepared for drinking, so I got two waters and unlimited popcorn for the hefty price of $3. Yeah, it's cheap as shit. Also, tickets are $10, and it's so small that the furthest back you can be is row 8. It's really fantastic.

As for the actual wrestling show, these were a few of the highlights.

First off, Elias Samson came out and has a gimmick of "arrogant acoustic guitar guy." I'm super into that idea, because anyone who went to college is super familiar with this guy, and he is THE WORST. I think every single person has had their game thwarted by some asshole who just wants to jam out and play girl's favorite songs. Congratulations dude, you know Wonderwall, now get the fuck outta here; I'm trying to get laid. Anyway, Samson used his acoustic guitar to talk shit about Largo, and then call out his opponent. I was convinced that this match was to get Samson over, but unfortunately, that opponent he called out was Uhaa Nation who is stupidly talented and can do things like this:

Since it was the first match of the night, they wrestled a pretty safe match, but the athleticism was easy to see, and even my wife added Uhaa Nation to her list of favorite wrestlers.

In the next match, Cassie and Jessie took on Gionna and Lina. The first three girls seem to be fairly similar to what you would expect Divas to be. Lina, on the other hand, is huge. Like, she is almost as big as her cousin, Dwayne. Yes, I am referring to Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Anyway, she just kind of dropped people and was bigger than them, so I didn't see much in the way of wrestling, but I think worst case is that she's a way more legit looking version of Tamina.

Mike Rallis vs. Angelo Dawkins was the most nothing match possible.

Scott Dawson and Dash Wilder took on Jason Jordan and Chad Gable. Despite not having great size, I think Gable has the most potential in the group. He has a natural charisma, and even though nobody is really showcasing their skills, Gable was very smooth in the ring, and I will always root for the guys with amateur wrestling backgrounds.

The other thing that stood out to me during this match was some 8-year-old kid chanting chickenhead at someone in this match. I'm not even sure who it was directed at, but he called all of them chickenheads. I doubt the kid knows the most common meaning of that, but I laughed pretty hard that he yelled it.

Bull Dempsey beat Tyler Breeze. I just feel like that should be pointed out, but the most important thing is they are entertaining crowds. They're doing comedy wrestling, which is not an area WWE usually does well in, but they did a good job of balancing comedy with it still making sense as a wrestling match.

Solomon Crowe took on Baron Corbin in a matchup of guys that are spinning their wheels. Crowe has more crowd support, but Corbin definitely has the greater potential of success and has gotten the far bigger push thus far. Overall, the match was fine, but they did not make a believer out of my wife.

Preston Cunningham Jr. The First came out dressed like a rich idiot and said his Dad financed the show. I thought he was a bad guy, but then former NFL safety, Sabby Piscitelli came out, and it turned out that Sabby was the bad guy, because he insulted Largo, and that is the ultimate offense for a wrestler. It was honestly very revealing in how hard it is to portray an unknown character to an audience. It takes a lot of work, and these guys have a long ways to go, but just getting in reps, seeing what works and what doesn't is important in and out of the ring.

Sasha took on Carmella, and it is fairly clear that these two are on different levels right now. Sasha has her wrestling down, as she's just compelling to watch in everything that she does. Carmella is just trying to hang in there. Sasha Banks is amazing, and I would watch her wrestle anybody right now and be fully entertained.

They ended with a Triple Threat Tag match with Blake & Murphy, Enzo and Big Cass, and The Vaudevillains squaring off. It was a good match to end on as it was just a fun match. The bad guys won, but then the good guys hit them with all of their finishers after the match to send the crowd home happy.

Overall, NXT is about the best way to spend $10 for a night of entertainment. The card went about 2.5 hours, and had I gotten there earlier, I could have gotten pictures and autographs from Mojo Rawley, Dana Brooke, and Tyler Breeze. I'm still holding out for personal hero, Norman Smiley, but that'll have to wait for another day.

Oh, and NXT is so awesome that you can use it as a date night and have your significant other entertained even if they couldn't give two shits about pro wrestling. That's quality right there.

A Review of My 2015 Fantasy Baseball Draft - Part 3

Last week, we had our annual fantasy baseball draft, and it sure was a doozy. I am going to break it down round-by-round in three separate parts (this is part two), but before we get started, I have given each team a nickname based on the jobber that they most represent. Here are my explanations.

Norman Smiley – Because my dance moves are sick.
Vinnie Vegas - This guy is a gambler, and I respect that.
3 Count - This guy looked like a boy band member in high school, so this is fitting.
Eugene - Idiot who tries to take other people's gimmicks, but he can't pull it off.
LA Gore - If you told me LA Gore was his real Dad, it would explain so much. He ruined his family line of being man enough to wear cutoff jean shorts.
Dr. Isaac Yankem, D.D.S. - I have no idea who this clown is, but somebody else referred to him as "a doctor, but not a real doctor." That describes dentists pretty well.
Bob Backlund - Crafty, sometimes unintelligible, but shockingly effective as he kicked ass in the 2014 season.
El Dandy - He's Mexican, and Bret Hart let us know that he should not be underestimated.
Zack Ryder - Had a moment of glory, but is now firmly stuck in jobber territory.
GI Bro - He thinks he's like Booker T, but he's just a cheap knockoff.
Viscera - Large and sexually charged. Has glasses that are referred to as "The Big Nasties."
Kerwin White - Shockingly good at golf.You can check out the first part here, while part two is here, but now it is time for part three.

Round: 17 (Keepers: Nolan Arenado)
(193) Norman Smiley - Jonathan Papelbon RP
(194) Vinnie Vegas - Adam Eaton CF
(195) 3 Count - Carlos Beltran RF
(196) Eugene - Huston Street RP
(197) LA Gore - R.A. Dickey SP
(198) Dr. Isaac Yankem, DDS - Scooter Gennett 2B
(199) Bob Backlund - Drew Smyly SP
(200) El Dandy - Denard Span CF
(201) Zack Ryder - Travis d'Arnaud C
(202) GI Bro - Nolan Arenado 3B
(203) Viscera - Arismendy Alcantara 2B
(204) Kerwin White - Chris Tillman SP
Best Pick: Adam Eaton
The only question with Eaton is health, and although I think he may miss some time with a small injury, I think he can play 140 games and provide value in a lot of different ways for a fantasy team. I could also see his stolen base numbers trending upwards this year to provide even more value.

Worst Pick: Denard Span
Already hurt this year, and he's not a guy with a great upside to begin with, so he's probably the worst of this round, but we are definitely reaching the point where the worsts are all that terrible.

My Pick: Jonathan Papelbon
This was one of my least confident picks, but at this point, getting a sure thing is probably a solid decision. He was incredibly undervalued, and although Papelbon has the potential to be traded, he will almost certainly take over the closer's role for whoever he is traded to. I mean, is there any closer more established than Papelbon at this point? The guy stays healthy and produces. It's my least risky pick, which does inevitably mean that he will be injured or ineffective this year.

Round: 18 (Keepers: Anthony Rendon)
(205) Kerwin White - Taijuan Walker SP
(206) Viscera - Wilin Rosario C
(207) GI Bro - Andrelton Simmons SS
(208) Zack Ryder - Marlon Byrd RF
(209) El Dandy - Brandon Belt 1B
(210) Bob Backlund - Anthony Rendon 2B
(211) Dr. Isaac Yankem, DDS - Aramis Ramirez 3B
(212) LA Gore - Dalton Pompey CF
(213) Eugene - Mike Napoli 1B
(214) 3 Count - Yasmani Grandal C
(215) Vinnie Vegas - Aaron Sanchez SP
(216) Norman Smiley - Neftali Feliz RP
Best Pick: Yasmani Grandal
This one made my jaw drop, as I had every intention of making Yasmani Grandal my catcher. I looked over the other teams and saw that all but one other team had a catcher. I figured I was safe, and that I could snag Grandal with no issues. I mean, why would anyone take a backup catcher? Well, this stupid asshole from 3 Count thought he needed two catchers. Anyway, as for Grandal the player, he hit really well in the minors and has shown flashes in the majors. Getting out of Petco and having consistent playing time will be essential for him, and I would not be surprised to see him as a top-5 catcher this year.

Worst Pick: Marlon Byrd
Quick, name who Marlon Byrd plays for. Waiting...well, I hope you answered correctly, because I have no idea. I'll guess the Phillies or Royals, but you could convince me it is the Mets. Anyway, Byrd is very old, and he probably isn't going to be that great this year. Hence, worst pick of the round.

My Pick: Neftali Feliz
I always like to have three closers, so I was very happy that Feliz fell all the way back around to me. I could have waited if he wasn't there, but Feliz can be an absolute stud reliever, so the value was too good to pass up.

Round: 19 (Keepers: George Springer)
(217) Norman Smiley - Kevin Gausman SP
(218) Vinnie Vegas - Kyle Hendricks SP
(219) 3 Count - Scott Kazmir SP
(220) Eugene - Derek Holland SP
(221) LA Gore - Matt Garza SP
(222) Dr. Isaac Yankem, DDS - John Lackey SP
(223) Bob Backlund - Danny Duffy SP
(224) El Dandy - Michael Morse 1B
(225) Zack Ryder - Jesse Hahn SP
(226) GI Bro - Steven Souza RF
(227) Viscera - Desmond Jennings CF
(228) Kerwin White - George Springer RF
Best Pick: Steven Souza
I don't know what to think of Steven Souza. He's super old for a prospect, but a lot of the projection systems love him, and the Rays seem to agree as they traded a lot to get him. He might be really valuable this year. Yes, he could be terrible, but it's the 19th round, just drop him and add another outfielder at that point.

Worst Pick: Kyle Hendricks
Vinnie Vegas loves him some Cubbies. Kyle Hendricks reached his ceiling last year, and good for him, but I have a feeling his floor is far lower than the gambler would like it to be. Even with his ceiling, he doesn't get strikeouts, so he's not likely to provide a ton of value this year. I will be surprised if Hendricks is still on his team in May.

My Pick: Kevin Gausman
I was strongly considering Gausman in the 16th/17th rounds but decided to get the closer who had dropped quite a bit, as I had Gausman and Tillman rated as my top two guys on the board, and a lot of other starters that I still liked if they were both taken. Tillman did get taken, but I like Gausman's upside. If he cuts loose this year, he can live up to his prospect hype and become a top guy.

Round: 20 (Keepers: Michael Brantley)
(229) Kerwin White - Joaquin Benoit RP
(230) Viscera - Brian McCann C
(231) GI Bro - Nathan Eovaldi SP
(232) Zack Ryder - Ryan Howard 1B
(233) El Dandy - Coco Crisp CF
(234) Bob Backlund - T.J. House SP
(235) Dr. Isaac Yankem, DDS - Matt Shoemaker SP
(236) LA Gore - Carl Crawford LF
(237) Eugene - Hector Rondon RP
(238) 3 Count - Michael Brantley LF
(239) Vinnie Vegas - Josh Hamilton LF
(240) Norman Smiley - Matt Moore SP
Best Pick: Nathan Eovaldi
Eovaldi is learning a split to add to his repertoire, and since he already has velocity in abundance, this could be exactly what he needs to take a big step forward this season. He flashed plenty last year, so the natural maturation should help him be worthy of this pick, but the extra pitch provides nice upside for him.

Worst Pick: Matt Shoemaker
He's already been released, so that is a good sign that this was not a very good pick. Had he not been released, it would have been a tossup between Shoemaker and Hamilton who is obviously got a lot of question marks around him at the moment.

My Pick: Matt Moore
He's an injury stash. We have three DL spots, so I might as well use them. Also, my last three picks were all predetermined, as I needed a shortstop since ESPN didn't recognize Bogaerts as a part of my team yet, I needed a catcher, and I had Gregory Polanco as a keeper. So, it was Matt Moore time. Hopefully he comes back better than ever.

Round: 21 (Keepers: Phil Hughes/Dee Gordon)
(241) Norman Smiley - Brandon McCarthy SP
(242) Vinnie Vegas - Addison Russell SS
(243) 3 Count - Rajai Davis LF
(244) Eugene - Brett Lawrie 3B
(245) LA Gore - Torii Hunter RF
(246) Dr. Isaac Yankem, DDS - Adam Lind 1B
(247) Bob Backlund - Avisail Garcia RF
(248) El Dandy - Wade Davis RP
(249) Zack Ryder - Phil Hughes SP
(250) GI Bro - Kennys Vargas DH
(251) Viscera - Addison Reed RP
(252) Kerwin White - Dee Gordon 2B
Best Pick: Brett Lawrie
I'm never going to stop believing in Brett Lawrie, so maybe this is the year he puts the pieces back together. Plus, Billy Beane agrees, so the Moneyball community needs this.

Worst Pick: Addison Russell
Vinnie Vegas has picked every Cubs player possible, but it got ridiculous at this point. You could make the argument that Russell has keeper potential, but even if everything went right for Russell, it would still take an injury to a big leaguer for them to call him up this year. The benefit is minimal, and the cost of a lack of roster flexibility isn't worth it.

My Pick: Brandon McCarthy
Seems like a solid pick. He had some bad luck last year but finally put it together after going to the Yankees. Now he is back in the NL, so as long as he can stay healthy, he should be good to put up solid fantasy numbers this year.

Round: 22 (Keepers: Corey Kluber/Matt Harvey)
(253) Kerwin White - Francisco Rodriguez RP
(254) Viscera - Chase Headley 3B
(255) GI Bro - Sean Doolittle RP
(256) Zack Ryder - Santiago Casilla RP
(257) El Dandy - Andrew Miller RP
(258) Bob Backlund - Corey Kluber SP
(259) Dr. Isaac Yankem, DDS - Tanner Roark SP
(260) LA Gore - Mike Fiers SP
(261) Eugene - Matt Harvey SP
(262) 3 Count - Aaron Hill 2B
(263) Vinnie Vegas - Carlos Rodon SP
(264) Norman Smiley - Wilson Ramos C
Best Pick: Chase Headley
I love Headley this year, and had I not already gotten two third basemen early in the draft, I would have gone hard after Headley, probably two rounds before he was actually taken. I think Headley puts it together for the Yankees and gets his power numbers back in the 20-25 range and hits around .280.

Worst Pick: Tanner Roark
He is the odd man out in the Nationals rotation, so unless we add the long relief appearance category, he's probably not going to be too useful in a fantasy context.

My Pick: Wilson Ramos
Wieters, Zunino, and Ramos were all there for me still. I went with Ramos, as I think he can be around the 10th best catcher in fantasy. He's nothing special, so if he fails, I can get rid of him with limited consequences, but if he's solid, his value won't be much different than the third or fourth ranked catcher.

Round: 23 (Keepers: Gregory Polanco/Javier Baez)
(265) Norman Smiley - Gregory Polanco RF
(266) Vinnie Vegas - Javier Baez SS
(267) 3 Count - Jung Ho Kang SS
(268) Eugene - Josh Reddick RF
(269) LA Gore - Ervin Santana SP
(270) Dr. Isaac Yankem, DDS - Joe Nathan RP
(271) Bob Backlund - Tyler Clippard RP
(272) El Dandy - Byron Buxton CF
(273) Zack Ryder - Jon Gray SP
(274) GI Bro - Trevor Bauer SP
(275) Viscera - Dustin Ackley LF
(276) Kerwin White - Alex Rodriguez 3B
Best Pick: Trevor Bauer
He is still young and after taking some major steps backwards early in his development, he has started to progress forward. How much further he can go is a question, but he'll definitely get his chance to make an impact (And fun note: He was dropped before the season started).

Worst Pick: Byron Buxton
He barely played last year, which means his best experience was dominating low-A two years ago. He might still only start in High-A, so I am still putting his ETA as late-2016, and there would be nothing wrong if he took even longer than that.

My Pick: Gregory Polanco
Polanco made sense as a keeper. He struggled after a hot start in the majors last year, so if he sucks, he can easily be dropped, but he has big time potential, so I made a trade last season to acquire his rights. I'm hoping it pays off.

Round: 24
(277) Kerwin White - Yu Darvish SP
(278) Viscera - Brad Boxberger RP
(279) GI Bro - Alex Guerrero 2B
(280) Zack Ryder - Matt Wieters C
(281) El Dandy - Tony Watson RP
(282) Bob Backlund - Jason Hammel SP
(283) Dr. Isaac Yankem, DDS - Brandon Phillips 2B
(284) LA Gore - Carlos Martinez SP
(285) Eugene - Clay Buchholz SP
(286) 3 Count - Christian Bethancourt C
(287) Vinnie Vegas - Nick Castellanos 3B
(288) Norman Smiley - Chris Owings SS
Best Pick: Yu Darvish
He can be stashed on the DL the entire year, and then he gets him for a 22nd round pick. Really, what's the difference between a 24th round pick and a free agent? With Yu getting his surgery a little later than Harvey, it may not pay off to that extent, but it should still be a valuable addition considering that Jose Fernandez went in the 10th and will be coming back later this season than Yu next year.

Worst Pick: Christian Bethancourt
It's the second-to-last round, so I honestly wasn't sure if some of these were joke picks. Are Brad Boxberger and Tony Watson real people or are they made up? It's impossible to know. Still, getting a second third catcher who is known for his fielding and not hitting seems like a slight waste of a pick. Three catchers...I...I just...I just can't even fathom the thinking behind that.

My Pick: Chris Owings
I had no choice but to pick Chris Owings, and I actually really like him, but I have already dropped him for Brett Cecil, who was somehow not even drafted, to give me a fourth closer.

Round: 25
(289) Vinnie Vegas - Wade Miley SP
(290) Vinnie Vegas - Jake McGee RP
(291) 3 Count - Mark Teixeira 1B
(292) Eugene - Maikel Franco 3B
(293) LA Gore - Daisuke Matsuzaka SP
(294) Dr. Isaac Yankem, DDS - Ken Giles RP
(295) Bob Backlund - Henderson Alvarez SP
(296) El Dandy - J.J. Hardy SS
(297) Zack Ryder - Miguel Sano 3B
(298) GI Bro - Micah Johnson 2B
(299) Viscera - Jarred Cosart SP
(300) Bob Backlund - Mike Zunino C
Best Pick: Jake McGee
Because closers are incredibly undervalued. Also, shout out to Mike Zunino who fell to the final pick in the draft, and he'll probably outproduce Russell Martin.

Worst Pick: Maikel Franco
Yo, are we sure Franco is even good? I'm almost positive that he's not good. So drafting him and stashing him until a callup seems like a bad idea for a bad player. I bet he's dropped before April 15th.

My Pick: Nobody
I don't waste my time in the 25th round with the rest of these jobbers.

So, after breaking it down, one thing is perfectly clear, my team is going to cruise to a championship. I doubt I'll lose a single matchup this year. As for the rest, well, here's what the numbers of the best and worst picks say:

Bob Backlund 3
Vinnie Vegas 6-3=3
Viscera 3-1=2
Kerwin White 3-2=1
Eugene 2-1=1
GI Bro 2-2=0
Dr. Isaac Yankem, D.D.S. 2-3=-1
3 Count 2-4=-2
Zack Ryder 1-3=-2
El Dandy -3
LA Gore -3

I guess the most interesting thing about these results are that I had at least three thoughts on every team, but I had the most thoughts, by far, on Vinnie Vegas. This doesn't surprise me, as I always like his teams, and they always finish in 10th-12th place, so shoutout to Mr. Vegas for taking crappy players before I can. 

Another Date Night Watching WWE NXT

It had been a while since I had treated my wife to a wonderful evening of watching pro wrestling, so it was time for us to go to another NXT house show. Tickets are $10 for general admission, so it is an incredible deal, especially considering that general admission means rows 3-5. Also, even though my wife doesn't really care about professional wrestling, she enjoys watching me, as I do morph into a 12-year-old who has a permanent smile on my face while watching live wrestling. I'm lucky to have found someone who finds it cute and charming instead of sad and pathetic.

Let me just start by saying that I failed yet again to get a picture with Norman Smiley. I truly suck at this, as I saw him out of the corner of my eye as he was walking by and I was giving my ID to get my tickets. I should have just stopped what I was doing to achieve the goal, but I froze, and I never got another chance to express my gratitude to the man who invented the Big Wiggle. I suck, and I must find a way to make this happen.

As for other former superstars there, nobody of note...oh, except Mick Foley was randomly there simply as a spectator. He just sat in the front row by the entrance and watched the whole event. He did nothing during the event and was simply there to watch these guys wrestle.

But let's get to the wrestling with a quick match by match recap.

Anna Brock vs. Bailey
I had never seen Anna Brock before, but she's got some guns on her, and she flexes them a lot. Like that may be the extent of her gimmick, check out my muscular arms. Considering she must be fairly new, it's not too bad of a gimmick, because she does have the arms to pull it off. Bailey was Bailey, who was pretty solid and won the match with a Belly-to-Bailey suplex.

Chad Gable vs. Solomon Crowe
Chad Gable is fairly new, but he has some potential as a legit wrestler who can incorporate that into his pro wrestling. He was fairly entertaining, but the biggest takeaway from this match was that Crowe got rid of his really shitty splash finisher in favor of a submission.

Steve Cutler vs. Baron Corbin
Steve Cutler is a military guy, so you would think he was the good guy, but he came out to metal music, and posed more as a bad guy. He was kind of Lance Storm-esque in persona, but he ain't there with in-ring skills. Baron Corbin took a little offense before powering up and ragdolling Cutler.

Big Cass and Carmella vs. Marcus Louis and Devin Taylor
This was my wife's favorite match, as she was a huge Carmella fan and Devin Taylor lasted one episode on this year's Bachelor. The latter makes sense, but the former really confused me. But my wife is all in on Carmella and also likes Big Cass and Enzo Amore as they have fun sayings and they were 100% over with the crowd. From a personal standpoint, this was the moment where it hit me how gigantic wrestlers are. Marcus Louis is an above average sized wrestler, but he's not considered huge, but he was standing in the corner near where we were sitting, and let me tell you, that dude is huge. He is a massive human being, and sometimes people forget how big wrestlers are, even the guys who aren't considered that big. Unfortunately Taylor and Louis were S-A-W-F-T, SAWFT.

Ty Dillinger vs. Hugo Knox
Ty Dillinger has a new gimmick where he comes out after matches and rates them on a scale of 1-10. He considers himself a perfect 10. Who is Hugo Knox? Hugo Knox is probably my new favorite wrestler. He is a Manchester, England club dancer who has stupid tattoos, polka dot trunks and LOVES to West Coast Dance. Is he good in the ring? No, not really. But the more important question is whether he is totally awesome, and the answer to that one is a definitive yes. Dude danced so hard. He won the match and danced some more. I cannot wait for Hugo Knox to debut on television.

Mike Rallis vs. Bull Dempsey
Who is Mike Rallis? Not sure, honestly. Who is Bull Dempsey? A fat guy with a mean streak. This match happened. It wasn't terrible, but outside of Dempsey hitting his flying headbutt, nothing memorable happened.

Alexa Bliss Vs. Becky Lynch
I remember this being one of my favorite matches of the night. It was a good back and forth match with some of the few rare finishes that I was actually buying. Becky Lynch got the win, because poor Alexa can't get wins on sparkles alone.

CJ Parker vs. Hideo Itami
CJ Parker is who he is. He's fine in the ring; his gimmick is mildly entertaining, and he's basically in the same place he was two years ago. Hideo Itami was a guy who came in with a lot of hype due to being one of the biggest stars in Japan, but he hasn't really been all that impressive so far from what I saw on NXT. That being said, Hideo Itami is AWESOME in person. His style was really cool to see up close, and I finally get why people were so excited about him. Eventually, he is going to start using the GTS, and people are going to freak out. Needless to say, I am fully on board the Hideo Itami bandwagon.

Itami is great, but he's still no Hugo Knox.

I Took My Wife To A WWE NXT House Show For Date Night

The nice thing about being married is that any excuse to get out of the house and do something together can be considered a date. My wife knows that I am not a romantic, so she has very low standards for a good time out. Her low expectations have been a boon for me. We have had two great date nights in the past few weeks, as a couple weeks ago, we went to the Orange Bowl. This past weekend, I took it to a whole new level, by taking my wrestling nerdery to a whole new level, and taking my wife for a night out at a WWE NXT house show.

The event took place at the Lakeland Armory, and when I walked in, I had mixed emotions. I was pumped, because there were only about 150 seats, so I knew my GA seats would be in the third row. I was a little disappointed, because the ceiling was so low that I knew there was not going to be any high flying maneuvers that night. Anyway, there was no alcohol served, so I decided to relive my high school days and pound some Mountain Dews while watching wrestling. I am a child.

We got there about a half hour before the show, which was right in time for the pre-show autograph signing with NXT superstars Jason Jordan and Mason Ryan. But then they announced a special guest appearance with Billy Gunn. Unfortunately, I forgot my Ass Man shirt at home, and since I was unable to get that signed, I really didn't care about getting autographs.

Then, I saw him. A real-life WWE (WCW, if you want to get technical) Superstar. One of my wrestling heroes. A man that has inspired my earliest West Coast Dance moves. That's right, it was Screamin' Norman Smiley.

He was across the crowd from me, so I made the choice to wait as surely he would work his way around closer, so I could thank the man for all of his influence on me. This was a huge mistake on my part, as he only popped out from behind the curtain for that single minute, and I never saw him again the rest of the night. I'm still mad at myself, because Norman Smiley is the best.

Never forget.

Anyway, back to the NXT show. I'll quickly break it down, match by match.

Devin Taylor introduced Slate Randall as our host. He seemed pretty good on the microphone, but that may have been just because he was alongside Devin Taylor, so the bar was not exactly set high. Anyway, he's a stereotypical cocky jerk, so I'll be interested to see his character on television.

The first match of the night was Aiden English vs. Colin Cassady. It wasn't a really solid match and probably my second favorite of the night. They worked well with each other, and it's just really fun to chant S-A-W-F-T SAAAAAAAAAWFT.

The next match was Sylvester LeFort and Marcus Louis vs. Mason Ryan and Jason Jordan who are tagging up, because they are muscular and their first names' rhyme. Before the match started, I told my wife to wait for the USA chants, because they were coming, despite Mason Ryan being Welsh. About three seconds later, Jason Jordan started the chants. I proudly chanted along, because America. Anyway, LeFort and Louis had a pretty funny chant thing they were doing that I couldn't totally make out the words, but I have a feeling I will be seeing it soon on NXT.

After that, it was Baron Corbin vs. CJ Parker, and I felt bad for both guys. I don't like CJ Parker, but shit, everybody else hates CJ Parker, and it is just a constant stream of people yelling at him about how badly he sucks. There were 7-year-old kids yelling at him about how much he sucks. This is a problem with NXT shows, because it is full of Smarks. Fans who love the bad guys and hate the good guys. I fall into this group, but I still try to cheer good guys and boo the bad guys, because that's the reaction that will actually help the wrestlers. I don't really need other wrestling fans to think I'm cool, but good for the people who need that sort of affirmation. His hippy gimmick does not make sense, and my wife brought up a really good point that his bright white go-go boots don't quite fit the hippy lifestyle. He should probably get some birkenstocks. Anyway, I also felt bad for Corbin, because he tried to be a heel, but Hitler would have trouble getting heat when facing CJ Parker. I just felt bad for everyone involved.

After that, there was an appearance from Sweet T, who immediately tried to become a heel again. Then Leo Kruger came out with his new gimmick, Adam Rose, and he now has a fat manager named Humphrey. They love to dance, but his accent makes it sound like Donce, and I have been chanting donce ever since. It's starting to wear down my wife. Honestly, this was the best match of the night, as they went back and forth and put on a really fun match for the crowd. I'm now a huge Adam Rose fan and despite the cool fans continually chanting Leo Kruger, I think this gimmick has way more potential to get him on the main roster. Also, hopefully Broadus and Sweet T become heels, because they need something to switch it up.

After intermission, they kicked it off with a Divas match with some redhead named Becky Lynch against Bayley. It was a little slow, but it was fine. Bayley was definitely a fan favorite despite my wife describing her as "softball girly looking."

Then it was Corey Graves vs. Troy McClane (I didn't catch the guy's last name, but that was the only Troy I found on the roster). There was an incredibly annoying fan who would not stop yelling. Corey Graves rightfully told her that nobody wanted to hear her, and became an instant fan favorite, because that lady was seriously the worst. Troy was going through his infomercial spiel, but the lady would not shut up, so I couldn't hear half of it. Since Corey Graves talked trash to that lady, he became my wife's favorite wrestler of the night. Most people either really like or really hate him, but I'm kind of blah on him. He's perfectly fine.

Finally, it was the main event between Adrian Neville and Bo Dallas. Bo seemed to phone in this match, and with the low ceilings, there wasn't much that Neville could really do. He did some flippy stuff, and Bo Dallas put on some decent offense, but they had a cheap pin from Dallas end the match, and it was a pretty anticlimactic ending to the night.

Overall, it was a fun night. There was some solid wrestling, and for $10, it's really tough to beat that value. I was disappointed that Tyler Breeze was not there, and I didn't really expect Sami Zayn to be there, so that wasn't much of a surprise. Still, there were a lot of good wrestlers, and even my wife had a good time.

But next time I am definitely getting that picture with Norman Smiley.