Showing posts with label Chad Gable. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chad Gable. Show all posts

Monday, October 21, 2019

2019 WWE Brawl For All: Eric Bischoff vs. Chad Gable

For the first semifinals match, things got super weird, and I'm not even sure who won anymore. It was quite the rollercoaster. I would like to tell you that we keep it normal in this one, but that only lasts for a while before it somehow gets even weirder.

Joe’s #1 Eric Bischoff vs. Joe’s #3 Chad Gable
Joe: Bischoff’s extensive karate experience has helped him get this far, but now he’s got to face the wrestling of Chad Gable. According to Bischoff, he got in a ton of fights in school. Jonah, I know you love fighters, so does that make Bischoff the favorite here?

Jonah: Well I know Sin Cara has at least won some fights against large adults, I’m assuming Bischoff got beat up by kids, so the fighting level is a little different here. Gable’s going to put him on his back the entire match. Bischoff doesn’t even have a puncher’s chance because there’s no way he has knockout power. His only chance to save face is to catch Gable with an illegal kick and lose by DQ but still feel good about himself.

Joe: Apparently, you’ve never listened to Eric Bischoff’s theme song, because HE’S BACK and better than ever.

Does Chad Gable have a wrestling background? Oh, that’s cute, because so does Easy E, as he was on a traveling wrestling team in high school in Minnesota. With Akam, we know he wasn’t good enough to make the Olympics, because he tried and failed. With Bischoff, it’s impossible to know, because he never found time for it. Are we even sure that Gable is a better wrestler than Bischoff?

Jonah: I suppose not, but if Bischoff was great at wrestling he probably would have been doing that instead of delivering meat. Come to think of it, he probably would have been fighting in karate tournaments if he was good at that instead of delivering meat. Even JCVD and Joe Rogan won some actual tournaments.

Joe: Who said that Bischoff never won a karate tournament? I certainly wouldn’t say that, as I wouldn’t want those fists of fury coming flying at me. I’m sure he probably won some tournaments considering that he was a karate star on ESPN in his younger days. You can be the best at something and still quit. Do you not remember Shawn Michaels losing his smile?

Jonah: Please enlighten me on his time as a karate star on ESPN. Also Shawn Michaels lost his smile because he got jumped by 12 marines, or started a fight with one normal person. If you want to book Shawn Michaels in this tournament I will absolutely give Bischoff the win over him.

Joe: I know Bischoff has mentioned it on a podcast, but I couldn’t find anything substantial on that. There is also the well-documented time he nearly murdered two fans but showed them mercy. Still, I found something way more important from Bodyslam.net:

“That’s one of the reasons I love martial arts so much. Going to those karate tournaments were a blast. It was all about the roll tide. I had, I mean that period of my life was (clears throat) it was very influential, let’s put it that way.”

“People think only rock stars have groupies or movie stars but when you’re a pretty successful martial artist and you travel around to all these little martial arts tournaments and sometimes they’re in big cities and sometimes they’re in small ones, but it was amazing dude. I just — and that was the very first time in my life I’d ever experienced that. I wasn’t much of a ladies man in high school or even afterwards, it was you know, I’d get lucky every once and a while, that type of thing but, man all of a sudden. When you’re a black belt and you’re traveling all around the country and you’re fighting in these tournaments, they just come out of the woodwork.”

“I don’t know if it’s because they have daddy issues and wanted somebody that was a badass you know to hang with or what the deal was but it was freaky fun.”

Let the world know, Bischoff was so good at karate that it got him laid in a “freaky fun” way. So is Bischoff winning by knockout or decision?

Jonah: I’ve already established that there’s no way that Bischoff can knock anyone out. So clearly his best option is to win by points. I guess good for Bischoff for getting laid by hanging out at karate tournaments, I hope like the Rock, he kept Pop Tarts and condoms in his fanny pack.

Joe: I say that Bischoff has a different kind of freaky fun as he peppers Gable’s faces with punches. Sprawl and brawl all the way in this one.

Jonah: If Bischoff can somehow keep from going to the ground I suppose he could win.

Joe: Bischoff gonna have some freaky fun after this win.

Jonah: Freaky fun= condoms and Pop Tarts according to The Rock. And again, just to put myself over, Bischoff could probably beat me in Brawl For It All, but I would bet everything I had on myself over him in a street fight.

Joe: Alright, I’ll bite. Please give me your fighting credentials, any martial arts training, past fight record, and any other relevant details that you’d like to provide? I’ve gotten my ass handed to me by women and children before (he was a 17-year-old wrestler, so it’s not THAT embarrassing), so I think you’re going to have better toughness credentials than me.

Jonah: I am nuts Joe, get with the program. I also trained grappling for four years with my buddy who was a two time all state wrestler from Chicago and MMA at the gym that I used to rent vans to.

Joe: Put this man in Brawl For All immediately.

Semifinals

Monday, October 7, 2019

2019 WWE Brawl For All: Sin Cara vs. Chad Gable

We now have reached our final quarterfinal matchup, and this is likely the most interesting matchup of the entire round. A backstage tough guy taking on a former Olympic Wrestler. I mean, it doesn't get much better than this.


Jonah’s #2 Sin Cara vs. Joe’s #3 Chad Gable
Jonah: Gable is a takedown machine, Sin Cara is an ass kicking machine. It’s a battle of machines. Cara just knows how to fight, Gable knows how to wrestle. How is Gable going to react when he gets popped in the face? Who knows.


Joe: Well, I highly doubt that Gable does get punched in the face cleanly. The reason MMA is difficult to get takedowns is because of kicks and knees. You really don’t want to go shooting into somebody’s legs if they are launching a knee towards your face. If somebody isn’t threatening with their legs, it’s pretty easy to go on an ankle pick party without any risk of being hit with a decent punch. Sin Cara can wing his haymakers all he wants, Gable is just doing to duck under and put him on his ass over and over again.


Jonah: Sin Cara is from the Bas Rutten school of fighting, the streets. He’s a honey badger. Gable is a wrestling stud, but again, you underestimate fighting and overestimate technical skill. Should Gable just take him down at will? Sure, but you don’t keep getting into fights and winning at his size without knowing what you’re going.


Joe: If you have no wrestling background and are facing someone with world class wrestling skills, it does not matter how badly you want to fight and how tough you are, because you are going to get dumped on your ass over and over again. For evidence, let’s check out former Cornell All-American, Dylan Palacio’s YouTube page. 


You can be big, strong, fast, tough, or all of the above, but if you haven’t put the work in on a technical level, the technician is going to whoop that ass. His name may mean without a face, but his only hope is to save face after he learns that he’s not ready, willing, or Gable for Brawl For All.


Jonah: KJ Noons vs. Krazy Horse, GSP vs, Matt Serra, a lot of other fights that I can’t think of  where the technician lost. I know you really love wrestlers and 60 year old karate guys, but Sin Cara’s a fighter. I guess Gable should win, but you really do underestimate being a fighter and overestimate being a geriatric guy in a gi.


Joe: I’m honestly not sure who you would consider the technicians in those fights. Noons was more well-trained in boxing, but Krazy Horse had way more MMA training, even if he did have a wacky personality. And although GSP was great, a lot of that was based on athleticism and wrestling. GSP was better all-around, but at least at that time, Serra was the more technically sound fighter in both boxing and jiu jitsu. 


How is Sin Cara a fighter? Like, what is his fighting background? As far as I can tell, he has none, so him beating Chad Gable would be like Kimbo Slice (even the still alive version) beating Daniel Cormier. You could give him 1,000,000 chances, and it would never happen.


Jonah: Sin Cara is a fighter just like the sky is blue, he just is. And Matt Serra knocked out GSP, the world’s greatest wrestler. GSP could outwrestle everyone and he still got caught by a punch. It happens. Gable can win, but a reckoning is coming for some of your fighters soon.


Joe: Calling a Canadian the world’s greatest wrestler is probably the most offensive thing you have ever said as Canada SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS in wrestling, but I guess we can discuss that during the semifinals which are now set. Next time, we’ll tackle the matchup of the big boys as the Authors of Pain square off to see which one can make it to the finals.



Quarterfinals

Tuesday, September 3, 2019

2019 WWE Brawl for All: Chad Gable vs. Titus O'Neil

Today, we move on to another fascinating matchup where a former football player comes in with a size advantage, but as Marcus Stroman has taught us, Height Don't Measure Heart, especially when the smaller man has an Olympic Wrestling background.

Joe’s #3 Chad Gable vs. Jonah’s #6 Titus O’Neil
Joe: This is going to be a takedown clinic, and although Titus O’Neil in his physical prime may have had enough athleticism to make this interesting, at this point, Gable is going to maul his way to the inside and continually score points by putting him to his back.


Jonah: Titus is constantly referred to as one of the strongest people in the WWE. He’s a huge guy and played high level college football so his athleticism is no joke. Unfortunately, Joe is right, and Gable is a takedown machine. I doubt Titus would be able to stop them effectively, so he’s got a puncher’s chance and that’s pretty much it. If he does connect though, it’s going to hurt like hell.


Joe: Yeah, I don’t equate strength with powerful punches. I’m probably as strong as Gennady Golovkin, but that dude could knock somebody’s head off, and it would take a small miracle for me to knock someone out with one punch. I think even the threat of the one punch knockout is overestimated here, and yeah, this is just a really bad matchup for Titus, so unless you have anything to add, we can make this quick and move Chad Gable to the quarterfinals.


Jonah: I will agree that Gable should win due to takedowns, but Titus is huge and athletic, I wouldn’t want to get punched by him.


Joe: I mean, I wouldn’t want to get punched by anybody. I have a five-month-old, and if he gets his knuckles across my face right, it is not a pleasant experience. I will assume that Titus punches about that hard, which will not be enough to stop the takedown machine, Chad Gable.


Jonah: Gable wins on takedowns, but you probably shouldn’t pick a fight with Titus O Neil anytime soon.

Monday, February 18, 2019

The WWE Is Ruining... Chad Gable

As a pro wrestling fan, it is a part of our identity to always know how to utilize wrestlers better than the WWE. If WWE would just give me, random WWE fan, a job a the company, ratings would immediately rise to the levels of the Monday Night Wars, despite how television ratings have changed as a whole over the last 20 years. But until that happens, WWE will continue ruining our favorite wrestlers, and that is why it is time to point out the error in their ways. Because of WWE's incompetence, I am literally going to pick a wrestler at random and point out how they could be better utilized, because WWE is ruining everyone in one way or another.

This is probably one of the five guys that I am most passionate about WWE ruining, former Olympian and all-around badass, Chad Gable.

Simply put, Chad Gable is Little Kurt Angle. Hot take warning, Kurt Angle was the greatest professional wrestler in the world in his prime, and I don't think it's particularly close. He could do absolutely everything in the ring, and Chad Gable is right along that same mold. They come from incredible wrestling backgrounds, and their body control is so amazing that they can do things that other guys can only dream about. Yet the WWE can only see an undersized wrestler in Gable, so they refuse to give him the push he so richly deserves.

Things didn't start out bad. He made his debut as part of the tag team American Alpha with Jason Jordan. American Alpha OWNED as a tag team. They were a new era Steiner Brothers, and just typing those words gets me excited in ways that are not safe for this blog. But the WWE has not done well with hot tag teams getting promoted to the main roster. The Ascension was the most dominant tag team in NXT history, and they were quickly buried. American Alpha was the hottest tag team that has ever gotten promoted, and they got a half push. The same thing happened with the best wrestling (The Revival) and most physically impressive (Authors of Pain) tag teams as the WWE just won't seem to commit.

Even though the WWE didn't give American Alpha the push they deserved while they were together, they did give Jason Jordan a big push as Kurt Angle's illegitimate son. Yes, they gave the big push to lesser of American Alpha, but they loved the tag team so much that they made a cheap imitation with Gable and Shelton Benjamin. Surprisingly, that also went nowhere.

After that fizzled, Gable went on to start an undistinguished singles career before teaming with Bobby Roode, because...reasons?

And if you think that tag team is stupid, the way they won the titles is even dumber. They took the titles from Authors of Pain by pinning AOP's manager, Drake Maverick because...reasons?

And if that isn't stupid enough for you, the way they "earned" their title shot is by making fun of Drake Maverick for peeing his pants, because, you guessed it, reasons?

So, yes, Chad Gable's big push has come with a tag team partner who makes no sense where Gable appears to be cosplaying as him now, winning the titles by pinning a manager, in a feud started when they made fun of said manager for peeing his pants. I know I just said all that, but I really felt like I needed to repeat it, because it is just so fucking stupid.

Chad Gable is an incredible talent. If I really wanted to build him perfectly, I would integrate the 205 Live matches into Raw and Smackdown and move Gable to that division. I only see 205 Live on the pay per views, and those matches are awesome. But putting Gable in a feud with Buddy Murphy could produce the best matches of 2019. And since it seems likely that the WWE is signing Kushida, a match with him and Gable could set the damn world on fire. I've preached this before, but if WWE integrated the 205 Live division, they could use it more like WCW where guys can naturally elevate themselves and go for the "heavyweight" titles. Just let Chad Gable be a standout wrestler in the smaller division before elevating him into the tiny suplex and grappling machine that he was born to be. The guy has incredible charisma and wrestling abilities - THIS ISN'T ROCKET SCIENCE.

Please utilize the super fun, super awesome wrestling machine on the roster, WWE. There's no reason not to be ready, all you have to do is be willing, because you've already got Chad Gable.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Alicia Fox

Andrade "Cien" Almas
Apollo Crews
Bayley
Big E

Bobby Lashley
Bobby Roode
Charlotte Flair
Curt Hawkins
Dana Brooke
Dash Wilder
Ember Moon
Goldust
Jey Uso
Jimmy Uso
Jinder Mahal
Kane
Karl Anderson
Killian Dain
Kofi Kingston
Luke Gallows
Mickie James
Mojo Rawley
Nia Jax
Peyton Royce
Randy Orton
Scott Dawson

Shane McMahon
Shinsuke Nakamura
Tyler Breeze
Zack Ryder

Wednesday, December 26, 2018

The Ultimate NXT Draft Review: 1-10

In June of 2016, so now nearly two and a half years ago, Lukewarm Jonah and I got together to do both a WWE main roster and NXT Fantasy Draft. There isn’t a ton of analysis to do with the main roster, but despite me having the Universal Champion, Brock Lesnar, and the greatest wrestler in the world, Shane McMahon, I’d probably give the edge to Jonah on those picks.

But I would like to focus on the NXT roster as the transition from NXT to the main roster or just the progression within NXT provides some fascinating talking points. Although we did a fairly good job, there were definitely some big time misses and some amazing steals. Let’s break it down pick-by-pick, starting with the top 10 today.

1. Jonah selects Finn Balor
Joe: This was an obvious first overall pick. The guy was the NXT Champion, and The Demon was the most undeniably awesome thing in all of WWE. Although WWE is definitely over their big guys must reign mentality, little guys do often get left behind. His shoulder injury happened at the worst possible time, and it’s really destroyed his standing in the company. Without that injury, he could have had a very different run, but now he’s kind of stuck in the midcard with no aim. Hopefully, Royal Rumble turns things around as in, turns him into the leader of an evil group of wrestlers from New Japan called the Missile Gang.

Jonah: Finn is still probably the number one pick in a redraft.  The crowd still absolutely loves him after years of terrible booking, so one of these days he’s going to get another run.  He’s the first Universal Champion, and he’s really in the upper midcard. He’s on the verge of breaking out again and I hear there’s a bunch of sweet wrestlers coming from ROH.

2-3. Joe selects Shinsuke Nakamura and Bayley
Jonah: These picks made me very angry at the time because I really wanted both of them.  But now it’s really turned into who has been booked worse on the main roster? Bayley has won the world title, but had a terrible reign and has been booked as an afterthought for basically her entire time.  Nakamura recently won his first and only title on the main roster the US title, but he won the Royal Rumble and even though he lost 600 or so of his first title shots, he still feels like kind of a threat. The biggest shock about Nakamura is that he hasn’t had very good matches.  At the time of our draft he had just torn the house down with Sami Zayn in NXT, now he puts on average matches with AJ Styles and bad matches with a lot of other people. He’s still oozing with charisma and cool as hell, but his matches are very concerning. Bayley could still be one of the most popular performers on the roster.  When she turned on Sasha for that week, the pop was insane. She’s Becky Lynch on RAW, one moment and the crowd will blow the roof off the house. Still very good picks, but in a redraft, I don’t know about them going two and three, I think they fall a round or two.

Joe: Shit, man. I drafted Bayley, and I’m not even that high on her. Her only really memorable matches happened against Sasha Banks, and this was probably at the height of her popularity. Nowadays, I’m not even sure if she makes my top five women from this draft. She still has a ton of potential, but I have trouble seeing a pathway to her actually reaching it.

As for Nakamura, the charisma is through the roof, but anytime he starts to develop an interesting character, the WWE writers take over, and they have him show Rusev naked and call him a girl. That’s....not great. But Nakamura has also seemed disinterested during a lot of his WWE run, but who could blame him? The WWE had the chance to pull the trigger on him but chose not to, and although he’s still a top guy, he’s probably not going to be THE guy. That being said, he still might be a top three pick if we did the draft again.

4-5. Jonah selects Samoa Joe and Asuka
Joe: Hey, Asuka is finally getting the push she should have gotten a long time ago. Good lord, remember when she couldn’t handle when someone cosplayed as her and lost to Carmella a bunch of times. But no, she’s awesome, and I would totally take her over Bayley.

Samoa Joe has almost done cool stuff, but everything he does just seems to drag on forever and lead nowhere. It’s still exciting when he starts something new as he’s excellent at getting things off to a hot start, but it all just goes nowhere. That being said, this is still a good pick as I can’t see him falling out of the top ten even with a disappointing run on the main roster.

Jonah: I still love these two picks.  Joe is still super over, even though he loses all of his big matches just like Nakamura.  The difference is Joe can go in the ring and cuts an insane promo. They booked themselves into a corner with Asuka’s undefeated streak, then ended it at the worst time, then booked her like crap for a year.  Despite that, people still love Asuka and she’s great in the ring. She’s also got the Nakamura charisma where she’s cool as hell so it doesn’t matter what she says.

Joe: Jonah, your definition of super over is far different than anything existing in reality. Super over guys in WWE are Braun Strowman, Becky Lynch, and Ronda Rousey. If I stretch the definition, it could include Seth Rollins, Rusev, Daniel Bryan, and New Day. Joe is at least two tiers away from that.

Jonah: Joe can realistically be put into the World Title scene at any time and it makes sense, that’s being over.  He’s great on the mic and in the ring. Someday he will be used correctly and get super duper over.

Joe: Getting in the World Title scene at any time, huh? So like Jinder Mahal? I get it.

6-7. Joe selects American Alpha
Jonah: I got fired up writing about how bad the booking of Bayley and Nakamura was but American Alpha was much worse.  They are the best tag team the WWE has had since the Hardy Boys. Naturally, the WWE booked them super boring. They won the titles, but the crowd eventually turned on them because they did nothing but wrestle awesome, which is cool but the WWE forgot that they were charismatic as hell in NXT.  For some reason American Alpha got broken up, Jason Jordan became Kurt Angle’s kid, and Gable is still killing it and is now in another boring tag team. Keep them together and Jordan never gets injured,and American Alpha is dominating the tag team division right now. Another couple of picks that drop in a redraft, I mean I’m not sure if Jordan ever wrestles again, but Gable does have a ton of potential.  Great pick at the time, ruined now by bad booking and injuries.

Joe: I love Chad Gable, because he made piss pants jokes to Drake Maverick, and that makes him cool and not a horribly depressing babyface. I still don’t mind the pick as Jason Jordan just needs to get healthy to be decent, and Chad Gable’s ceiling is still incredibly high. I honestly think that Chad Gable may be the guy I would most want to see in NJPW, and that is why I have no regrets about the pick, because when they actually let him go, he’s still fantastic.

8-9. Jonah selects Hideo Itami and Austin Aries
Joe: LOL, well this didn’t work out as planned for you, Jonah. I was never high on Aries, but I didn’t see it ending that quickly. Hideo Itami is super fun in person, but I don’t think his style when put through the WWE incubator ever really translated on television. I think he might be injured, or he might be active on 205 Live; there’s really no difference. I like Itami, but we’re at the point where any good idea for a Japanese wrestler would go to Asuka or Nakamura, meaning they would need THREE good ideas for Japanese wrestlers for Itami to do something interesting. Can FOUR McMahons come up with three foreign ideas? Spoiler alert: The answer is no.

Jonah: Yeah this one hurts to look back on.  Aries at least put on a year of good matches on 205 Live, his match with Neville at Wrestlemania 33 was the best match on the card.  I didn’t see Aries bailing so quickly, but that’s kind of what he does. Itami is still active on 205 Live, but it’s baffling how they’ve used him.  Remember back when Enzo was the douche king of the WWE and Cruiserweight champ? No one could challenge him for the title because no one could refrain from attacking him.  The general manager then brought out a new signing to 205 Live to beat up Enzo and everyone was pumped and it turned out to be Kalisto, and everyone was confused. Imagine if that was Itami, and he came out and just killed Enzo with a GTS, that would have made him.  Anyways, Itami could still be a star, but he probably won’t be in the WWE.

Joe: I really hope you’re right on Itami, and I would say there is significant hope with the PPV (preshow) matches that the guys on 205 Live have had as well as the recent surge from Mustafa Ali on Smackdown.

10. Joe selects Alexa Bliss
Jonah: I was a huge fan of Alexa Bliss at the time of the draft, but I did not she would ever be a wrestling threat on the main roster.  She’s a great promo, but still a very average wrestler and she’s extremely tiny. This new head of the women’s division is probably the best spot for her, but she’s a five time women’s champion.  She’ll be back wrestling again once she’s healthy. Bliss would move up in the redraft, in the top five or right outside it. Great view of potential by Joe here.

Joe: I think top five might be underestimating it. Out of everyone in this draft, Alexa Bliss has had BY FAR the most success on the main roster. Are we sure she isn’t the number one overall pick in a redraft? But yeah, she far exceeded my expectations, and I think it’s safe to say that she has been the best talker in the WWE since the time of our original draft.

Jonah: I wouldn’t take her number one overall in a redraft, though she has been the most successful person on the main roster.  The in ring talent isn’t there, and I’d be worried that she’s not going to be able to rise above Rousey ever again.

Monday, December 17, 2018

The WWE Is Ruining... Bobby Roode

As a pro wrestling fan, it is a part of our identity to always know how to utilize wrestlers better than the WWE. If WWE would just give me, random WWE fan, a job a the company, ratings would immediately rise to the levels of the Monday Night Wars, despite how television ratings have changed as a whole over the last 20 years. But until that happens, WWE will continue ruining our favorite wrestlers, and that is why it is time to point out the error in their ways. Because of WWE's incompetence, I am literally going to pick a wrestler at random and point out how they could be better utilized, because WWE is ruining everyone in one way or another.

Today, we take a look at the GLORIOUS, Bobby Roode.

Bobby Roode truly came out of nowhere to burst onto the NXT scene and become the NXT Champion. He was never an indy darling and appears to have stopped wrestling on the independent scene after getting a couple matches in the WWE in 2004. Yep, between then and his NXT debut in 2016, he only wrestled a handful of matches in New Japan. But outside of that, it appears he was just chilling, definitely not doing anything of note in any organization.

Anyway, the important thing is Bobby Roode came in and talked about how awful and poor the fans were in order to generate heat. The man was made to be a heel as even his smile makes him look like an asshole. He got that cheap heat, but fans also LOVED his entrance theme, and the WWE heard this love of his entrance theme and thought, "Bobby Roode, what a classic babyface." This was a bad decision.

He quickly won the United States Title after being called up, but since he was WWE's version of cool, he really sucked ass and nobody cared, so his only discernible characteristic was saying glorious a lot. He lost the title, nothing important happened, he tagged with Chad Gable because they didn't have anything important for either guy, and then for some reason they just won the tag titles on Raw last week.

Winning titles would seem to indicate the WWE is doing something positive with a guy, but no, this title reign is stupid, because the team isn't very good, and they pinned the manager of the tag champions to win the belts, so it doesn't even make sense why they are champions.

So what should the WWE do moving forward? First off, find new tag champions. I'm fine with AOP winning them back, I'd love to see The Revival as champions, and hell, since they won them in an asinine way, they can lose them in an asinine way if Lucha House Rules are in effect. But no matter how it happens, Bobby Roode must attack Chad Gable after the match and finally turn heel.

Then, if you want to push Roode to any sort of title level, he needs friends. Roode has charisma, but his ring work is only solid, so that isn't enough to help him stand out. He's best as a cowardly heel, and a cowardly heel can't do it alone. The easiest pairing would be to have him help AOP win the titles by turning on Chad Gable, and building his heat by destroying Drake Maverick. Then he has two bruisers who can be the tag champs while having Roode as their mouthpiece, and they can help Roode in his matches to make him a more legitimate contender.

I think you can start him off by abusing Chad Gable with his newfound muscle. Then Gable gets help from his old friend, Jason Jordan, and they reunite American Alpha to take on AOP to get Bobby Roode out of that feud and onto his own thing. Then just let him be a heel, maybe get him an Intercontinental Title match on occasion and just see where things go. But at least let the guy be a heel.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Alicia Fox

Andrade "Cien" Almas
Bobby Lashley
Charlotte Flair
Dana Brooke
Dash Wilder
Ember Moon
Jinder Mahal
Kane
Karl Anderson
Killian Dain

Kofi Kingston
Luke Gallows
Mickie James
Mojo Rawley
Nia Jax
Peyton Royce
Randy Orton
Scott Dawson

Shinsuke Nakamura
Tyler Breeze

Monday, September 24, 2018

The WWE Is Ruining... Tyler Breeze

As a pro wrestling fan, it is a part of our identity to always know how to utilize wrestlers better than the WWE. If WWE would just give me, random WWE fan, a job a the company, ratings would immediately rise to the levels of the Monday Night Wars, despite how television ratings have changed as a whole over the last 20 years. But until that happens, WWE will continue ruining our favorite wrestlers, and that is why it is time to point out the error in their ways. Because of WWE's incompetence, I am literally going to pick a wrestler at random and point out how they could be better utilized, because WWE is ruining everyone in one way or another.

Today, I continue the series with the Prince of Pretty, Tyler Breeze.


If you remember Tyler Breeze in NXT, you will recall how truly awesome he was when he was first beginning his gimmick. He not only took hundreds of selfies before every match, but he also had a live feed from his phone as his entrance video. His first feud in NXT was with CJ Parker, not the Baywatch star but the man now known as Juice Robinson in NJPW, because Parker kept photobombing his selfies. Breeze was so over-the-top ridiculous that the crowd couldn't help but fall in love, and he backed it up by consistently having matches that stood out on NXT, not an easy thing to do.


So it made sense when he got called up to the main roster, even though he was never able to attain gold at NXT. But although he came out hot by immediately attacking Dolph Ziggler, they didn't actually follow up with anything, and he was soon only there as an enhancement talent, losing to basically anyone and everyone that stepping in the ring with him. When a guy loses that much, it's pretty easy for even his biggest supporters to lose interest.


Somehow, with from the depths of creative hell, Breeze emerged, with the help of Fandango, to create one of the most interesting and beloved tag teams of the past few years in Breezango. They managed to get incredibly over by acting as The Fashion Police who originally just gave people tickets for being unfashionable, but somehow turned into detectives who solved mysteries. It was incredibly stupid, but it was also incredible.


Even though they were beloved, they were never able to turn that into championships, and the gimmick has been on hiatus after Fandango suffered an injury. That has left Tyler Breeze in limbo as his run as a singles wrestler has been...completely forgettable. He's 0-4 on Raw, including two losses to Mojo Rawley. He does have two wins on Main Event, but those are over Curt Hawkins and Mike Kanellis, so a world title push seems a bit far off, and it seems like WWE is just biding time until they can reunite him with Fandango.


But can't the WWE do any better than that?


Tyler Breeze is one of the few people in the company who can not only fully embrace his character but can be consistently entertaining while doing it. Just let the man be entertaining. I do think he can have the most win-loss success with a tag partner like Fandango, but wins and losses aren't everything. Ultimately, with the stacked roster that the WWE has, I don't know if Breeze should ever hold a singles title. He could be a transitional secondary champion, but with his character, a belt doesn't do a whole lot for him. In wrestling, one guy wins, which means one guy loses. It's probably best if Breeze loses more than he wins, but there are plenty of guys that Breeze can beat in order to make him a credible threat against more prestigious competition.


I think the biggest thing that needs to happen to maximize Breeze is to let him use his creativity. He was always great at giving backstage interviews, and the Fashion Police stuff with Fandango was fantastic. It's not like he needs a lot of time, so I'm pretty sure they could spare 1-2 minutes each week and just let something entertain the crowd. Also, wouldn't a fifteen minute match between Breeze and Chad Gable be absolutely awesome? Those are two guys that can easily move from heel to babyface, so you can go either way on it and just let them go out and put on a great match. And the beauty of Tyler Breeze is that he can lose yet still be elevated just by putting on a fun match and show personality.

WWE seems to only want to push "cool" wrestlers, but sometimes I just want to watch fun wrestlers. With Breeze, the push doesn't need to end in title reigns, all he needs is time to let people enjoy him as a character and wrestler. For anybody that says WWE doesn't have endless amounts of time, yes, they do. They currently recap recaps on Raw, and they let Roman Reigns talk for 15 minutes. Just let Roman Reigns kick ass instead of talking, and use that time to get two guys over instead. 

This isn't difficult, guys. In fact, some would say it's a Breeze.


Other Wrestlers WWE Has Ruined
Bobby Lashley

Nia Jax

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

The Ultimate WWE NXT Fantasy Draft

With Smackdown moving to a live show on Tuesdays, there are plenty of rumors about an upcoming brand split for the WWE. Instead of waiting for the WWE to pull off a disappointing draft routine, the ultimate tag team, Lukewarm Jonah and Hott Joe, came together this past week to have an old fashioned WWE Fantasy Draft. Our goal is to create the best possible roster to create a successful, moneymaking product.

We knocked out the main roster in parts one, two, and three, with a review added at the end. But this week, we focus on NXT. With 73 superstars, there is plenty of guys to go through, so we'll break it down to two parts with a review to follow. Let's kick it off with part one. Since I had first pick for the main roster, Jonah selects first for NXT.

1. Jonah selects Finn Balor
The number one pick in an NXT draft is very tough.  There’s a few people who are guaranteed superstars.  I went with Finn Balor for his ability to work both face and heel, a great look, great matches, and that sweet entrance music and awesome entrance.  On my show I’m paying Marvel and DC whatever they need so Finn can cosplay as actual characters instead of being Venom but being called a demon.

2-3. Joe selects Shinsuke Nakamura and Bayley
I feel like I kind of lucked out in not having the first pick in the NXT draft. I think the first three people taken are all on about the same level as they are all hopefully going to blossom into huge stars on the main roster. I think Jonah made the right pick with Finn, because it seems like people are starting to underrate him just because he's been around for a while. Still, I get chills every time Shisuke Nakamura comes out, because he does the weirdest shit, but it is just so damn cool. God bless him. And Bayley is the perfect wrestler to market to children. She sends a positive message, and honestly, if you somehow hate Bayley, you're probably just a less ambitious Hitler. I don't like to drop the Hitler bomb, but yeah, you're basically shitty Hitler if you don't like Bayley.

4-5. Jonah selects Samoa Joe and Asuka
Fucking Joe.  Nakamura and Bayley were in the discussion for number one overall pick.  Nakamura is pure electricity, and Bayley will be the female John Cena for the next decade.  My consolation prizes aren’t bad though.  Samoa Joe is already a recognized star by most wrestling fans.  He’s back to being a motivated monster now that he’s on a real wrestling show.  The guy’s a main eventer as soon as he goes up to the main roster.  Asuka is awesome.  She’s a great wrestler, her strikes and submissions are incredible, and she is very unique.  She has plenty of charisma, she just needs to work on her English, but really, crowds eat her up even if she doesn’t speak.

6-7. Joe selects American Alpha
I knew Jonah could go one of two directions with his next picks, and I'm super happy he went the way he did. It's the way that made the most sense, but I'm deeply in love with American Alpha. Strictly wrestling wise, they are probably the second most fun people to watch just behind Nakamura, and even that's close. Gable is the most naturally gifted chain wrestler since Kurt Angle, and I will gladly take Tiny Kurt Angle anytime. Also, Jason Jordan has found the perfect niche for himself as the hot tag extraordinaire that will do every imaginable suplex to every imaginable thing in sight. They are that perfect mix of dominant tag team that is not so physically imposing that they also can't put people over, but yes, they should rein over the tag division for decades. That's right, decades.

8-9. Jonah selects Hideo Itami and Austin Aries
Fucking Joe again.  I couldn’t pass up Samoa Joe, so I didn’t have the opportunity to take American Alpha.  It’s a hell of a pick.  But again my consolation prize is pretty damn awesome.  Hideo Itami has been forgotten a bit since he’s had a long term injury, but when he comes back he’s going to make a big impact.  He’s Kenta damn it.  Austin Aries has it all, but it hasn’t all been put together yet in NXT.  It will be soon, because he works best as a heel.  He’s a cocky prick, that’s a tough face gimmick to get over.  Once he gets rolling, he’s an easy promotion and someone you can put in the ring with anyone and expect great things.

10-11. Joe selects Alexa Bliss and Tye Dillinger
I feel like Hideo Itami was the last elite talent left on the board, because I just don't see how well Aries translates to the main roster. And by him going that route, that left me with not one, but two Perfect 10s in Alexa Bliss and Tye Dillinger. Dillinger is so over right now, and that is with him still rarely winning matches. I have gotten to see him a lot at the NXT house shows in Florida, and he put on an excellent match with Andrade "Cien" Almas and a really good match with former WWE employee, Alex Riley. Dillinger isn't going to be a World Champion, but he can be a vital cog to make guys look great. And Alexa Bliss is not only very attractive, but she's got insane charisma and is becoming much better at the technical wrestling side of things. It doesn't get much better than locking down both Perfect 10s.

12-13. Jonah selects The Revival
Fantastic old school tag team.  Their gimmick will work great, they’ve been putting on classic matches as well.  They’re no American Alpha, but no one is.  They are however the next best thing, perfect heel team that should be around for a decade.

14-15. Joe selects Nia Jax and Mojo Rawley
So things really start to fall off quickly with the NXT roster. Like, thank god they only have to put on an hour of television a week, because even though that hour always leaves me wanting more, they just don't have the depth to pull it off. Nia Jax has a lot of value, because she's basically the monster of the women's division. It will always be easy to sell a feud with Nia Jax involved. She's still progressing in the ring, but that's what NXT is there for, and there's no reason she shouldn't be able to keep getting better. Then there's Mojo Rawley. He's also getting better, but I still don't know what you do with him. For a guy that big, he never really physically dominates guys like you'd like to see. Still, you should see him in person at small NXT shows; there is nobody better at interacting with children. Like, he puts Bayley to shame. Okay, he probably barely beats out Bayley, but still, he is so pumped up to take selfies with children and sign whatever they want. It's really impressive, and that adds to his value.

16-17. Jonah selects Johnny Gargano and Tomasso Ciampa
We decided Gargano and Ciampa were a team, and I was very happy to get them here.  Two big time prospects who, for now at least, are working better as a team than as singles.  They’re both talented enough and have a good enough look to go far either together or on their own.

18-19. Joe selects Carmella and No Way Jose
So I like Ciampa, but I'm super low on Johnny Gargano, as he is basically a sheet of plain white paper to me. The crowd seems to like him more than I do, but I was happy Jonah jumped on those guys. I used the opportunity to further bolster my Women's roster with Carmella who is your classic white meat babyface and can also pair with Enzo and Big Cass when she gets the callup. Then I got No Way Jose, who I'm still unsure of. He's fun; I know that much, but it's too early to really see where we can expect him to go from here.

20-21. Jonah selects Elias Samson and Angelo Dawkins
I like the Carmella pick, but I’m happy to get Elias Sampson here.  He has a good look, his wrestling has been fine, and I absolutely love the heel gimmick of douchebag with a guitar.  If you can’t relate to this heel gimmick, then you probably are a douchebag with a guitar, and everyone else hates you.  Angelo Dawkins is my next pick for a breakout guy in NXT.  He’s been there a long time, he’s young, has great size, and a great amateur background.

22-23. Joe selects Andrade “Cien” Almas and Adrienne Reese
Very happy that Jonah went that way, as I can now start stealing up guys who haven't made their TV debut yet. I wrote about both of these wrestlers a couple weeks ago, and Adrienne Reese is going to turn some heads when she makes her debut. Top rope flipping stunner is all you need to know. and Andrade "Cien" Almas got his first vignette a couple weeks ago, and oh man am I excited for his debut. Basically, if this draft would have happened a month later, he wouldn't have made it out of the top 10. Trust me, you will love Andrade Almas.

24-25. Jonah selects TM61
This was a steal.  I wanted Sampson, so I had to take another singles wrestler last round, but here I get another tag team that has been hugely successful around the world.  These guys will be future stars in the tag division, it’s basically a guarantee.  One final thing to remember, the mighty don’t kneel.

26-27. Joe selects Patrick Clark and Tino Sabbatelli
Well, first off, I'd just like to tell Jonah that he's a piece of shit for taking TM 61 from me. I knew I had to take Almas before the Australians, but it still hurts, and oh, would you look at that? There is a monumental dropoff at this point. Is this too early for Patrick Clark? Well, I would have said so a month ago, but then I saw his new tights that feature his face, a bald eagle, and the White House, and I am ALL IN on hated American, Patrick Clark. Tino Sabbatelli isn't a great talker, and he's not real great in the ring either. That said, he's got the best body in the WWE, and maybe the best body in WWE history. So at least he's really good at working out. After typing this out, I'm wondering if Jonah just put me on tilt with that TM 61 pick.

28-29. Jonah selects Billie Kay and Peyton Royce
Joe had been taking too many NXT women, so I’m happy to get Billie Kay and Peyton Royce.  They’ve shown that they can put on good matches even though they haven’t been winning.  They’re good looking, talented women’s wrestlers.  Very valuable to the future.

30-31. Joe selects Mandy Rose and Liv Morgan
Jonah took two ladies who are good looking and talented wrestlers. I took two ladies who are great looking and still figuring it out in the ring. Liv Morgan has shown a lot, but Mandy Rose is green as grass right now. Still, even she has a lot of natural charisma. I'm increasing my stable of hot chicks, and I definitely wouldn't mind a heel women's stable with these two and Alexa Bliss. I'm officially no longer on tilt.

32-33. Jonah selects Sawyer Fulton and Rich Swann
Sawyer Fulton is big, young, and a two time all American amateur wrestler.  Tons of potential.  Rich Swann has already made a name for himself around the world.  He’s incredibly talented, and once he actually gets some time he will get very over.

34-35. Joe selects Blake and Murphy
This is stupid low for these guys, so I'll take it. I know they're no longer a tag team, but they're serviceable wrestlers, and now that they are on their own, they can get a chance to shine. They might show to be a couple of dullards, but there's a reason they've been on the main show for so long, and I think they can start to show that. Also, one time at a house show, they both clearly decided they were going to oversell everything, and it was awesome. It raised my opinion of them.

And that wraps up part one. We'll be back with the second half later this week.

Monday, July 13, 2015

Date Night at NXT Largo

I've got a good thing going with my wife where I can count going to NXT shows as date nights. She still isn't a big wrestling fan, but her interest is growing. Also, I think she has street cred with the Internet Wrestling Community as she is a bigger fan of NXT than the main roster. We recently moved, and maybe the best thing about the new place is we are eight minutes from the Minnreg Hall which hosts NXT house shows about once a month.

First off, Minnreg Hall is pretty awesome. They have a full blown concession stand with a kitchen to cook you up something fresh. Amazingly, they not only sell beer, but they are whipping up mixed drinks as well. Since I am the oldest 30 year-old around, I was not prepared for drinking, so I got two waters and unlimited popcorn for the hefty price of $3. Yeah, it's cheap as shit. Also, tickets are $10, and it's so small that the furthest back you can be is row 8. It's really fantastic.

As for the actual wrestling show, these were a few of the highlights.

First off, Elias Samson came out and has a gimmick of "arrogant acoustic guitar guy." I'm super into that idea, because anyone who went to college is super familiar with this guy, and he is THE WORST. I think every single person has had their game thwarted by some asshole who just wants to jam out and play girl's favorite songs. Congratulations dude, you know Wonderwall, now get the fuck outta here; I'm trying to get laid. Anyway, Samson used his acoustic guitar to talk shit about Largo, and then call out his opponent. I was convinced that this match was to get Samson over, but unfortunately, that opponent he called out was Uhaa Nation who is stupidly talented and can do things like this:
Since it was the first match of the night, they wrestled a pretty safe match, but the athleticism was easy to see, and even my wife added Uhaa Nation to her list of favorite wrestlers.

In the next match, Cassie and Jessie took on Gionna and Lina. The first three girls seem to be fairly similar to what you would expect Divas to be. Lina, on the other hand, is huge. Like, she is almost as big as her cousin, Dwayne. Yes, I am referring to Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Anyway, she just kind of dropped people and was bigger than them, so I didn't see much in the way of wrestling, but I think worst case is that she's a way more legit looking version of Tamina.

Mike Rallis vs. Angelo Dawkins was the most nothing match possible.

Scott Dawson and Dash Wilder took on Jason Jordan and Chad Gable. Despite not having great size, I think Gable has the most potential in the group. He has a natural charisma, and even though nobody is really showcasing their skills, Gable was very smooth in the ring, and I will always root for the guys with amateur wrestling backgrounds.

The other thing that stood out to me during this match was some 8-year-old kid chanting chickenhead at someone in this match. I'm not even sure who it was directed at, but he called all of them chickenheads. I doubt the kid knows the most common meaning of that, but I laughed pretty hard that he yelled it.

Bull Dempsey beat Tyler Breeze. I just feel like that should be pointed out, but the most important thing is they are entertaining crowds. They're doing comedy wrestling, which is not an area WWE usually does well in, but they did a good job of balancing comedy with it still making sense as a wrestling match.

Solomon Crowe took on Baron Corbin in a matchup of guys that are spinning their wheels. Crowe has more crowd support, but Corbin definitely has the greater potential of success and has gotten the far bigger push thus far. Overall, the match was fine, but they did not make a believer out of my wife.

Preston Cunningham Jr. The First came out dressed like a rich idiot and said his Dad financed the show. I thought he was a bad guy, but then former NFL safety, Sabby Piscitelli came out, and it turned out that Sabby was the bad guy, because he insulted Largo, and that is the ultimate offense for a wrestler. It was honestly very revealing in how hard it is to portray an unknown character to an audience. It takes a lot of work, and these guys have a long ways to go, but just getting in reps, seeing what works and what doesn't is important in and out of the ring.

Sasha took on Carmella, and it is fairly clear that these two are on different levels right now. Sasha has her wrestling down, as she's just compelling to watch in everything that she does. Carmella is just trying to hang in there. Sasha Banks is amazing, and I would watch her wrestle anybody right now and be fully entertained.

They ended with a Triple Threat Tag match with Blake & Murphy, Enzo and Big Cass, and The Vaudevillains squaring off. It was a good match to end on as it was just a fun match. The bad guys won, but then the good guys hit them with all of their finishers after the match to send the crowd home happy.

Overall, NXT is about the best way to spend $10 for a night of entertainment. The card went about 2.5 hours, and had I gotten there earlier, I could have gotten pictures and autographs from Mojo Rawley, Dana Brooke, and Tyler Breeze. I'm still holding out for personal hero, Norman Smiley, but that'll have to wait for another day.

Oh, and NXT is so awesome that you can use it as a date night and have your significant other entertained even if they couldn't give two shits about pro wrestling. That's quality right there.