2019 WWE Brawl For All: Sin Cara vs. Chad Gable

We now have reached our final quarterfinal matchup, and this is likely the most interesting matchup of the entire round. A backstage tough guy taking on a former Olympic Wrestler. I mean, it doesn't get much better than this.

Jonah’s #2 Sin Cara vs. Joe’s #3 Chad Gable

Jonah: Gable is a takedown machine, Sin Cara is an ass kicking machine. It’s a battle of machines. Cara just knows how to fight, Gable knows how to wrestle. How is Gable going to react when he gets popped in the face? Who knows.

Joe: Well, I highly doubt that Gable does get punched in the face cleanly. The reason MMA is difficult to get takedowns is because of kicks and knees. You really don’t want to go shooting into somebody’s legs if they are launching a knee towards your face. If somebody isn’t threatening with their legs, it’s pretty easy to go on an ankle pick party without any risk of being hit with a decent punch. Sin Cara can wing his haymakers all he wants, Gable is just doing to duck under and put him on his ass over and over again.

Jonah: Sin Cara is from the Bas Rutten school of fighting, the streets. He’s a honey badger. Gable is a wrestling stud, but again, you underestimate fighting and overestimate technical skill. Should Gable just take him down at will? Sure, but you don’t keep getting into fights and winning at his size without knowing what you’re going.

Joe: If you have no wrestling background and are facing someone with world class wrestling skills, it does not matter how badly you want to fight and how tough you are, because you are going to get dumped on your ass over and over again. For evidence, let’s check out former Cornell All-American, Dylan Palacio’s YouTube page. 

You can be big, strong, fast, tough, or all of the above, but if you haven’t put the work in on a technical level, the technician is going to whoop that ass. His name may mean without a face, but his only hope is to save face after he learns that he’s not ready, willing, or Gable for Brawl For All.

Jonah: KJ Noons vs. Krazy Horse, GSP vs, Matt Serra, a lot of other fights that I can’t think of  where the technician lost. I know you really love wrestlers and 60 year old karate guys, but Sin Cara’s a fighter. I guess Gable should win, but you really do underestimate being a fighter and overestimate being a geriatric guy in a gi.

Joe: I’m honestly not sure who you would consider the technicians in those fights. Noons was more well-trained in boxing, but Krazy Horse had way more MMA training, even if he did have a wacky personality. And although GSP was great, a lot of that was based on athleticism and wrestling. GSP was better all-around, but at least at that time, Serra was the more technically sound fighter in both boxing and jiu jitsu. 

How is Sin Cara a fighter? Like, what is his fighting background? As far as I can tell, he has none, so him beating Chad Gable would be like Kimbo Slice (even the still alive version) beating Daniel Cormier. You could give him 1,000,000 chances, and it would never happen.

Jonah: Sin Cara is a fighter just like the sky is blue, he just is. And Matt Serra knocked out GSP, the world’s greatest wrestler. GSP could outwrestle everyone and he still got caught by a punch. It happens. Gable can win, but a reckoning is coming for some of your fighters soon.

Joe: Calling a Canadian the world’s greatest wrestler is probably the most offensive thing you have ever said as Canada SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS in wrestling, but I guess we can discuss that during the semifinals which are now set. Next time, we’ll tackle the matchup of the big boys as the Authors of Pain square off to see which one can make it to the finals.

1st Round
Akam vs. Curtis Axel
Jason Jordan vs. Shelton Benjamin
Heath Slater vs. No Way Jose
Rezar vs. Luke Harper

Eric Bischoff vs. Oney Lorcan

Bo Dallas vs. Mojo Rawley

Chad Gable vs. Titus O'Neil

Sin Cara vs. Apollo Crews

Quarterfinals

Akam vs. Shelton Benjamin

Rezar vs. Heath Slater

Eric Bischoff vs. Mojo Rawley

2019 WWE Brawl for All: Akam vs. Shelton Benjamin

Finally, we have made it to the second round where only eight men are still standing. This is a sad one for me as Jonah has both of the guys in this first matchup, and to make matters worse, it's two guys with strong amateur wrestling backgrounds. But it's time to see who will be the first guy to qualify for the semifinals. 

Jonah’s #1 Akam vs. Jonah’s #5 Shelton Benjamin

Jonah: Well this is a pretty good matchup, but Akam has to be the favorite. Benjamin is a hell of a wrestler, but so is Akam. Akam is also younger and bigger. This is kind of like the last round had Jason Jordan been healthy. I think Shelton can hold his own, but Akam is just too good, big and young for Shelton to handle.

Joe: I think Shelton Benjamin is a dangerous matchup for anybody. Yes, he’s older, but he was such a freak of an athlete that he is still more agile that most of the WWE roster. I certainly don’t think Akam has nearly enough to get a takedown on Shelton, so then it’s a matchup of boxing between two guys that don’t appear to have any skills in boxing. Is it really crazy to think Shelton could use his speed to outpunch Akam in this matchup?

Jonah: Look these guys are both my picks so I like both of them, but Akam was a prospect for the 2016 Olympics before he decided to go the pro wrestling route. Shelton Benjamin is awesome, and I love Minnesota, but I would give the wrestling edge to Akam in this matchup. Benjamin is probably a better pure athlete, he’s a freak. I think it’s a really good fight, but I’m still pretty confident Akam wins with wrestling. 

Joe: I don’t think there is a chance in hell that Akam could take down Shelton Benjamin while wearing boxing gloves. But I can’t really say who has the better hands in the fight either. Since these are both your guys, I will defer to you and have Akam move onto the semifinals.

1st Round
Akam vs. Curtis Axel
Jason Jordan vs. Shelton Benjamin
Heath Slater vs. No Way Jose
Rezar vs. Luke Harper

Eric Bischoff vs. Oney Lorcan

Bo Dallas vs. Mojo Rawley

Chad Gable vs. Titus O'Neil

Sin Cara vs. Apollo Crews

The 45 Most Important Players to the Chicago Bulls Dynasty - #14 Bill Wennington

Bill Wennington
William Percy Wennington was drafted 16th overall in the 1985 NBA Draft by the Dallas Mavericks. He spent the majority of his first five years sitting on the bench as he was never able to make an impact in Dallas. The Mavericks traded him to the Sacramento Kings before the 1990-91 season where Wennington received his most playing time, even starting 23 games for the Kings. Still, this was not enough to impress NBA teams as he would spend the following two seasons playing in Italy.

Before the beginning of the 1993-94 season, Wennington would sign on with the Bulls. Not exactly an ideal time to be joining the Bulls as they just had some guy named Michael Jordan retire to play baseball. Even though he was still a backup, Wennington would see his greatest success playing in Chicago.

Because of that, the Bulls kept him around for six seasons, as he saw three eras of Bulls teams during his time, the between Jordans, the second threepeat, and the first year of the awful rebuild.

During the three championship years, he would be the primary backup for Luc Longley, although he would start 47 games during this stretch in place of the oft-injured Australian. Although he played in nearly every game of the 1996 and 1998 NBA Playoffs, he missed the entire 1997 playoffs after re-injuring a tendon in his left foot. His most impressive playoff performance was in Game 5 of the Eastern Conference Finals against the Indiana Pacers. In 15 minutes, he put up 8 points, 3 rebounds, and 6 fouls, as he just had a grand ol' time blasting fools during limited playing time.

Despite the good times, it was also a tough time financially for Wennington. Things became so bleak that Wennington got a part-time job at McDonalds (McDonalds took this commercial down for copyright infringement, meaning I will be boycotting McDonalds until they put the commercial back up or stop making diarrhea inducing food, one or the other).


After retiring, he now spends his time doing radio broadcasts and media for the Chicago Bulls. He also spent his time challenging Baby Bulls players to a game of PIG.

It was probably not a great sign that the second overall pick got dominated by the retired Wennington. To be fair, Wennington was also a Hall of Famer as in 2015, he was inducted into the (Canadian) Basketball Hall of Fame.

I could not find any information on whether he kept his job at McDonalds.

Previous Entries:

#45 - Jack Haley

#44 - Rory Sparrow

#43 - Chuck Nevitt

#42 - David Vaughn

#41 - Jo Jo English

#40 - Ricky Blanton

#39 - Matt Steigenga

#38 - Joe Courtney

#37 - Keith Booth

#36 - Mark Randall

#35 - Ed Nealy

#34 - Rusty LaRue

#33 - Corey Williams

#32 - Joe Kleine

#31 - John Salley

#30 - James Edwards

#29 - Robert Parish

#28 - Darrell Walker

#27 - Rodney McCray

#26 - Dennis Hopson

#25 - Trent Tucker

#24 - Dickey Simpkins

#23 - Bobby Hansen

#22 - Scott Burrell

#21 - Bison Dele

#20 - Craig Hodges

#19 - Jud Buechler

#18 - Randy Brown

#17 - Cliff Levingston

#16 - Stacey King

#15 - Jason Caffey

Jehovah's Witnesses Are Murdering Children

The Jehovah's Witnesses left me a brochure this past weekend. You know, a little reading material to help me find my faith. I really appreciated them doing that, but I was a little stunned at what I found. I never even made it to most of the brochure as I couldn't get past this dark, daring, and quite frankly, disgusting cover.

Yeah sure, it looks innocent at first glance, but look a little closer, and you will see a despicable scene.

It shows a child with a father (possibly mentor), as the father figure has brought two gifts for the child. The child grabs the big box first, just like the older gentleman wanted. The child is so excited to see what is inside, but he's not going to be happy about it. Judging by its size and the sadistic look on the father's face, that is clearly the severed head of Fluffy, the child's beloved pet rabbit.

After the child opens his first present. His previous elation will turn to a feeling of sadness and confusion. The father tells him that he understands his sadness, but the second present will explain everything. This one is smaller, and the child reluctantly opens it as the father looks on. He is relieved to not find any dead animals in the second box. All he finds is a blank piece of paper. He turns over the single sheet and reads a single word, "Run."

The child looks around confused but now the leash that his father possesses makes sense. They don't even own a dog anymore, so why would he have it? That isn't a leash at all, that's a choking rope, and the child knows that his neck is looking ripe.

As the child sprints away, he realizes why his father made him wear these ridiculous clothes. I mean, what child would possibly be caught dead in a mismatched Canadian Tuxedo with what I believe would be considered a Canadian tophat? But it's perfectly clear now. If the police find a murdered American boy, it's a huge story, but a murdered Canadian is just another day at the office. He imagines the officer will even make a joke about how "these Canadians are probably going to go extinct due to global warming, eh?" and laugh with all of his police officer friends. He gets angry at the hypothetical officer's joke, because it barely makes sense, and a better joke would be overdosing on maple syrup. But he can't think about that now as Jehovah is about to be the only Witness to his murder.

No matter how fast his little legs go, it's of no use. His father is gaining on him quick. The end is inevitable. As he feels the coarseness around his neck, his final thoughts are the wonder of what did he do wrong? What did he do wrong? As he prepares to take his last breath, the pressure lets up, and the rope is dropped to the ground. He has tears in his eyes, but once again, he has breath in his lungs. His father congratulates him, and the child smiles. He loves his gift.

As the picture asks, what is the best gift of all? The greatest gift is fear, as it means you will never betray your faith.

At least, that's what my interpretation of the photo was.

Running Is Dumb

After a two-week hiatus due to the flu, I got back to running this past Saturday. The bad news is that running is dumb. The good news is that I am an idiot, and hoo boy, was I stupid on this run.

I never really set out a definite path or length for my runs, because I like to live my life with freedom and adventure (America!). This can lead to shorter runs, because during my run, I realize how stupid running is, or it can lead to longer runs, where my stupidity outweighs the stupidity of running, and I just keep going. My run was the latter.

It started out quite peacefully, temperature in the mid-50s, a little bit of wind, but nothing excessive. So I just strolled along. The one thing I do decide before my run is pick my music. It's usually happy music, rap from the late 90s early 00s, or heavy metal/Ultimate Warrior Inspirational speeches. Today was happy music, so I was at peace as I got my run on.

Things were going smooth for me early on in the run. I took a road with no sidewalks, but since it was early in the morning, cars were good about giving me my required three feet of space as they drove by. At about mile four, I saw this 50 year old dude running the other way across the street, and he was going at a good pace. Good for him, I thought, as I gave a friendly wave as we went our separate ways. Shortly thereafter, I heard a bike coming up from behind me so I got to the side as it got on my ass pretty quickly. Then, it turned out that it was just the 50 year old speed demon passing me by. This was the fastest human being alive. I am convinced he is like an Albino Kenyan. I have kept up with most people riding bikes better than I was able to keep up with him. He also had a jacket tied around his waist, and as he got further away, it had the effect of making him look like a superhero. I tried to pick up my pace, but I'm not sure if my Ford Escort could have kept up with him. To top it all off, we chatted a little as he flew by me, which led to him asking me if I was Canadian. I have no idea why he thought I was Canadian. I don't think I look Canadian. I don't think I sound Canadian. My best guess is that he overheard me listening to Alanis Morissette on my run and figured I was doing it for national pride. So, I got passed like a bitch and accused of being Canadian. That is the definition of complete ownage.

When I get completely owned, I need to get revenge. Since I was physically unable to catch The Human Bullet, I decided that I would run further than he did. Sure, he was out of sight, so I have no idea how far he ran, but as long as my heart believes that I ran further than him, I would be fine. A light sprinkle started which actually felt quite nice. This would not feel nice later on.

Like an idiot, I ran...and ran....and ran. The road was new to me, so I got distracted by the pretty trees with their leaves changing colors and the houses I had never seen before. My IQ drops to mentally handicapped when I run, so everything about the world turns truly wondrous for me.

As I entered my third town from my run, I thought, "Cool, let's keep running." I should have thought, "Probably time to head back." But I kept running. Then the road I was on ended, which was another sign to head back, but I saw the Interstate in the distance, so I decided to run on the shoulder of a highway as cars zipped by me. This was not concerning at all, because I was in my mental retardation state, so I was just thinking, "Wow, cars go VROOOM!"

I finally cross under the interstate and decide it is time to head home. My happiness subsides, and I realize that this is not going to be fun. The rain is no longer a sprinkle, as it is coming down pretty hard. About a mile into my adventure on the way back, Adele's "Set Fire to the Rain" gets me way too pumped. Because it's raining. And I'm running really hard, so it is like my feet are on fire. So I'm basically living the song out. And that's not feminine at all, it is totally badass, so I stand by rocking out to Adele.

I'm about halfway back, and it is absolutely pouring. A car pulls over to the side of the road, maybe because they are worried about my well-being. No, they just need directions. I barely know where I am, but I take their map and figure out where they need to go. I am proud of this good deed on my part, but I'm pretty sure they never found the place as they ignored my first direction of, "Turn around."

And on I went. I was completely drenched. I had to stuff my iPod down my underwear to try to save it from the rain. I consistently stepped in puddles filling my shoes with their own tiny, little puddles. Hills were nearly unbearable as I could barely lift my legs high enough to keep moving forward. And there was not enough Adele in the world to keep me pumped. Basically, it sucked.

After 17 miles, I finally stumbled home. I drank a glass of water and ate a banana in about 15 seconds. I then peeled off my clothes, which I think weighed about 10 pounds with all of the water weight, and took a hot shower. I then bundled up, covered myself with two blankets and shivered for the next half hour as I watched a wedding show, as I was too cold to change the channel.

Running is dumb. Don't ever do it...I wonder where I'll run next week.