The 45 Most Important Players to the Chicago Bulls Dynasty - #42 David Vaughn

I just read "The Jordan Rules," Sam Smith's story of the 1990-1991 Chicago Bulls season that primarily focuses on Michael Jordan, but through nearly 400 pages, everybody gets a fair amount of ink. It made me long for those Chicago Bulls glory days, so I am going to go back and rank every player's contribution to the Bulls six NBA Titles during the 1990s.

David Vaughn
David Vaughn had a solid pedigree. He was drafted out of Memphis in the first round by the Orlando Magic. His biggest claim to fame is nothing he did on the court, but he was involved in some notable transactions.

Right before the 1997-98 season got started, he was traded, along with Brian Shaw from Orlando to the Golden State Warriors in order for the Magic to acquire four-time All-Star and three-time league leader in free throw percentage, Mark Price. Unfortunately, this would be Mark Price's last season as he has the lowest free throw percentage since his rookie season, shooting just 84.5% from the stripe.

Then, in February of 1998, he was traded, along with two second round picks, to the Chicago Bulls for two-time NBA Champion, Jason Caffey. To say Michael Jordan was excited would be an understatement as he told reporters, "I don't know anything about David. Every time I've seen him, he's never been in uniform. I think that says a lot."

Alas, his impact for the Chicago Bulls was fairly minimal. He played in three games for a total of six minutes but shot perfect from the field in that limited time. Still, perfection was not enough, as the Bulls released him just two weeks after acquiring him, a decision they would surely regret.

After being released, he was acquired by the New Jersey Nets. And in the first round of the playoffs, those Nets would take on the Bulls in a best-of-5 series. Vaughn was all over the court as he averaged 36 blocks per 36 minutes. Luckily for the Bulls, the Nets only played him for a single minute as they got swept 3-0.

Although this is not the block from the playoffs, there was a time when David Vaughn got a block on Michael Jordan, and it is WAY, WAY, WAY, WAY more awesome than you can possibly imagine. It might be the greatest block on Jordan in basketball history.


I am just getting started with this list, but I doubt anyone else will be able to say they were part of the Bulls Dynasty as well as coming just three games away from ending it in a single season.

Previous Entries:

#45 - Jack Haley

#44 - Rory Sparrow

#43 - Chuck Nevitt

The Post Y2J Crisis: What Happened After Chris Jericho Made His WWE Debut - Part 2

For those who missed it, part one is here.

When we last left Chris Jericho's run in WWE, he had just ended Ken Shamrock's career on a random episode of Smackdown. That was his most notable feud as he had also injured Road Dogg earlier in his run, but he had already gone a long ways down since going toe-to-toe with The Rock. Sadly, things were about to get a whole lot worse before they were going to get better.

First off, he went to Unforgiven, and since he had ended Shamrock's career, it was time to move on, so he fought X-Pac. Jericho lost when the Road Dogg came out to help out X-Pac.

The next night he took a giant step up in competition when he faced Big Show. But he lost by disqualification when Prince Albert interfered. Yep, Jericho was a side character in a Big Show/Prince Albert feud. On top of that, Jericho did the most painful move in pro wrestling to Big Show behind the ref's back, the low blow, and Big Show shook it off three seconds later. The low blow is enough to knock out Brock Lesnar, and Jericho couldn't even take Big Show off his feet with it. That's bringing incompetence to a new level.

Later that week, Jericho and Hughes took on the New Age Outlaws, and yet again, they were just there to set up the Outlaws for their illustrious feud with The Super Heavyweights, Crash and Hardcore Holly.

But Jericho flashed again with main event talents, as he interrupted The Rock n' Sock Connection.

Outside of dropping a hard R on Mankind, this was the most entertaining thing that Jericho accomplished in his early run in the WWE. It even had The Rock dropping shade on Juventud Guerrera, which may have sparked him to turn into Juvy Juice. But it set up a match between The Rock and Y2J, which at least made Jericho seem important again. Unsurprisingly, The Rock won, and also unsurprisingly, this match was more done to further the feud between The Rock and the British Bulldog as the Bulldog immediately ran down at the conclusion of the match. Yes, yet again, Jericho was the third wheel in a feud for two.

but Jericho would not stay down for long as he tagged with his new best friend, Curtis Hughes, to take on the newly reformed Headbangers. I thought about embedding the link to this match, but it was awful. Jericho got mad at Curtis Hughes, left the match, and the Headbangers had their triumphant return.

Finally, Jericho's attitude caught up to him as he brawled with Curtis Hughes in the locker room at the next Smackdown. They then had a match where they brawled some more, but Jericho got the upper hand when Howard Finkel distracted the ref so Y2J could hit him with a chair. Since Jericho is such a gracious winner, he gave Curtis Hughes a consolation gift after their match, the services of Harold (Jericho could never remember his name) Finkel. And most importantly, Jericho was back in the win column and would surely use this for unstoppable momentum.

At the No Mercy pay per view that week, Jericho stole the show by...not appearing or even being mentioned. He was instead downgraded to a Sunday Night Heat match against D-Lo Brown. Y2J did not win.

Somehow, someway, Jericho made it through all of this and would begin his first run to a title, but we'll get to that next time. 

The 45 Most Important Players to the Chicago Bulls Dynasty - #43 Chuck Nevitt

I just read "The Jordan Rules," Sam Smith's story of the 1990-1991 Chicago Bulls season that primarily focuses on Michael Jordan, but through nearly 400 pages, everybody gets a fair amount of ink. It made me long for those Chicago Bulls glory days, so I am going to go back and rank every player's contribution to the Bulls six NBA Titles during the 1990s.

Chuck Nevitt
Chuck Nevitt is a man who maximized his time in the NBA. He never played in more than 43 games in a single season, his career high in points was just 3.8, and that was in only six games, but this man managed to play from 1982-1994. There were three years in there where he didn't play in the NBA spread out throughout that career, but a twelve year stretch of playing in the highest organization is pretty impressive.

How did he manage this? Um, long story short (no pun intended), he was tall as shit. Seven feet, five inches, but weighing just 217 pounds. Nevitt managed to make Shawn Bradley look like Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Also, the 1991-92 Chicago Bulls were not the first championship squad that he played on, as he also won a title with the 1985 Los Angeles Lakers, making him the tallest player to ever be on a NBA Championship roster.

He played the preseason in 1991 with the Bulls but was released before the season started. Then, a few weeks later, he was signed again and would last a month with the team. In four games with the Bulls, his greatest contribution may have been the nine minutes he provided. Yes, he did have an assist, a rebound, and two points, but even that was on three field goal attempts. But in those nine minutes, he also managed two fouls and three turnovers. I can't imagine he shared the court with Michael Jordan at all, as I think Jordan notoriously hated big men and may have murdered him on the court for his performance.

Chuck Nevitt may have not been the best player in Bulls history. Actually, I think we can definitively say he wasn't. But he was the tallest, and that counts for something.

Previous Entries:

#45 - Jack Haley

#44 - Rory Sparrow

How To Make Money Online: TaskRabbit Is a Total Scam

I heard about TaskRabbit the same way that everyone heard about TaskRabbit: On an episode of The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Since I'm looking for odd ways to make money, I decided to look into doing tasks for people, since some of it, you don't even need to leave your own home. Well, this review is going to be a short one, because TaskRabbit is some bullshit.

I didn't last long TaskRabbit, because they are charging way too much to verify people aren't murderers on Craigslist. It was like $20 or $25 to sign up to be a tasker. Then, TaskRabbit takes 30% of all of the earnings. This is an incredible scam.

Do not sing up for TaskRabbit. Just use Craigslist. Most of the time you won't be murdered, and with TaskRabbit, your bank account will be murdered every time by hidden fees.

The 45 Most Important Players to the Chicago Bulls Dynasty - #44 Rory Sparrow

I just read "The Jordan Rules," Sam Smith's story of the 1990-1991 Chicago Bulls season that primarily focuses on Michael Jordan, but through nearly 400 pages, everybody gets a fair amount of ink. It made me long for those Chicago Bulls glory days, so I am going to go back and rank every player's contribution to the Bulls six NBA Titles during the 1990s.

Rory Sparrow
Rory Sparrow is way too good of a basketball player to be this low on the list. He played 12 years in the NBA, and he was good. Oh, but there is a slight addendum to that, as he was good for every team except for the Chicago Bulls.

Excluding his first and last seasons, Sparrow averaged double digit points per game for every team he played with for at least one season except for the Chicago Bulls. Probably his best season was his 1984-85 season with the Knicks where he averaged ten points, seven assists, two rebounds, and a steal, all while shooting over 50% from the field and 86% from the free throw line.

But let's get to how Sparrow did for the Bulls. Looking for help early in the 1987-88 season, the Bulls traded the Knicks a second round pick for his services. He received a good amount of playing time, averaging 18 minutes per game, but he made little impact in games. This was probably only partially due to deteriorating skills as this was in the prime of Michael Jordan hogging the ball and verbally abusing anyone else who dared to take a bad shot.

He was released before the 1988-89 season and provided solid play for the Miami Heat and Sacramento Kings. In 1991, the Los Angeles Clippers signed him for the preseason but released him before the season began. The Bulls swooped in to sign him to strengthen their bench as the season began.

Unfortunately, the second stint was shorter and less productive than the first. He played in four games, and his most impressive stat was getting four assists during his 18 minutes of play. He was 1/8 from the field and really didn't offer much beyond that. He lasted just 19 days with the team before being waived.

Out of everyone on this list, he probably belongs in the top-15 for overall career, but we're judging how much he helped the Bulls Dynasty, and he had very little positive impact on that 1991-92 season.

I think he's okay with that. He won Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year in 1987 for his charitable endeavors, and he currently works for the NBA league office. On top of that, he's the greatest Rory in NBA history. Not too shabby for a fourth round pick out of Villanova.

Previous Entries:

#45 - Jack Haley

The 45 Most Important Players to the Chicago Bulls Dynasty - #45 Jack Haley

I just read "The Jordan Rules," Sam Smith's story of the 1990-1991 Chicago Bulls season that primarily focuses on Michael Jordan, but through nearly 400 pages, everybody gets a fair amount of ink. It made me long for those Chicago Bulls glory days, so I am going to go back and rank every player's contribution to the Bulls six NBA Titles during the 1990s.

Jack Haley
Somebody had to come in at 45, and just like many other roles that most would not have wanted to take, I feel like Jack would embrace his role in kicking off this series. Jack Haley spent ten years in the NBA. Well, okay, not really. He started in 1989 and ended in 1998, but he had some stops at other leagues in between there. His best work was during his first stint with the New Jersey Nets. In the 89-90 season, he started 26 games for the Nets and averaged six points and five rebounds per game. He also had less illustrious stints with the Spurs and Lakers.

Although it may not be greatly remembered, Haley also had two stints with the Bulls as he got there before they started winning championships as he was drafted in 1987 and played for the Bulls in 1988-89. He was claimed on waivers by the Nets in 1989 but came back to the Bulls for the 95-96 season.

His impact on the court was about as small as it could get. He played in a grand total of one game. He played seven minutes but did manage to put up six shots and two free throws. I have not been able to confirm that Jordan made him sit on the bench for the rest of the year because he was jealous of anybody getting up that many shots in that little of time.

But Haley made the most of his experience on the bench as he was an enthusiastic cheerleader for the team and provided a friend to Dennis Rodman which is not an easy job to do.

Unfortunately, Jack Haley passed away in 2015 due to heart disease. He was only 51 years old. He's one of those guys that seemed like a great guy and you never really heard anything bad about him.

I don't want to end on a sad note, so just in case you forgot how awesome Jack Haley was, here's some photos to help jog your memory.

I know what you're thinking. There is no way there is a better picture than that. Oh, but there is.

I know that now you are thinking, that this is the photo that cannot be topped, but it was.

Perfection.

The Post Y2J Crisis: What Happened After Chris Jericho Made His WWE Debut - Part 1

For the WWE, the Countdown to the Millennium came a few months early (and technically, a year and a few months early) as it arrived on August 9th, 1999 with the debut of Y2J, Chris Jericho. Everybody remembers the debut of Y2J as it is one of those transcendent moments that is still talked about nearly 20 years later. It helped that there was a countdown for weeks in advance; it helped that it came during the middle of a promo from The Rock, and it helped that Jericho is one of those wrestlers who doesn't just have fans, he has fanatics. If you need a refresher on the moment, take a gander below.

Even though The Rock shut up Jericho, Y2J got his revenge later in the night when he interfered in The Rock's match with The Big Show and helped Mr. Ass beat up The Rock. Maybe the most important takeaway from all of this is that yes, the WWE had a lot of stupid names during the attitude era.

The debut was obviously great, but today, I want to focus on what happened after the debut. There was a ton of momentum with Jericho coming in, but it's not like he immediately took the belt off Stone Cold Steve Austin and become the top guy in the company, so where did Jericho go from here?

Well, the next week he kept the momentum going as he interrupted The Undertaker and The Big Show which was a true "Save Us Jericho" moment as Undertaker should never speak for more than 30 seconds. He rightfully called The Undertaker "the personification of boredom." Still, it ended much like Jericho's first segment where Jericho went on his rant about saving WWE, but the WWE stalwart got the last word.

He then went on to SummerSlam to talk trash to Road Dogg, and it goes exactly like all of Jericho's previous interactions where he lambastes the stalwart WWE Superstar, and the WWE Superstar gets the last word in. Maybe the best part is when Road Dogg gets on commentary right after and admits to not owning a computer. Back then, computers were for nerds. But in a matter of a couple weeks, Jericho has gone from feuding with The Rock to The Undertaker to The Road Dogg.

Well, at least there is nowhere to go from there but up. Haha, nope, the next night he interfered in a hardcore match with Road Dogg and Al Snow. After that, Y2J needed to use Howard Finkel, who was basically being cast as a poor man's Ralphus, as bait so he could get one up on Road Dogg. And he did this all in Ames, Iowa.

Jericho finally had his first WWE match on the very first episode of Smackdown. Jericho lost the match by disqualification after putting Road Dogg through a table. After the match, he put the Walls of Jericho on Road Dogg while he was passed out on the broken table, and the entire crowd cheered the nefarious heel. Since submissions hurt far more if they are done on a table, this injured the Road Dogg, leaving Jericho to move onto his next feud.

Later in the show, Jericho saved Howard Finkel from a Ken Shamrock beatdown by hitting Shamrock with a chair before sprinting away. This led to Jericho tricking Shamrock into fighting him in a parking lot where Jericho beat him down with a shovel. Then, in a very underrated moment that I wish would have become a thing, he made Howard Finkel take polaroids of him while he had Shamrock locked in the Walls of Jericho. Finally, Jericho agreed to meet Ken Shamrock face-to-face at the following week's Smackdown.

The biggest thing that came from this was the firing of Howard Finkel as Jericho could not depend on The Fink and needed to find better help.

And so Jericho brought in Mr. Hughes. That gave him protection against Ken Shamrock without any worries of personality, so he got dressed up like this.

Before Jericho could get his hands on Shamrock, he had a match with Mr. Ass, another heel, for some reason which just showed how little WWE actually cared about Jericho's impact.

Instead of waiting until a PPV for Shamrock's first match with Jericho, they instead had Jericho take him on in a first blood match on the Smackdown immediately before INSERT PPV. Jericho wore full hockey gear to protect himself, and thanks to help from Curtis Hughes, was able to win the match by causing Ken Shamrock internal bleeding. Ken Shamrock LOVED to internally bleed. And this, yes, a comedy match, on a random Smackdown, with Jericho making him bleed with a splash while wearing hockey gear, would be Ken Shamrock's last match in the WWE.

Chris Jericho's first real feud ended with no hoopla and limited buildup, but he did technically retire Ken Shamrock. Would Jericho use this momentum to take him to new heights? LOL, it gets WAY worse from here, but I'll tackle that next time.

How To Make Money Online: Become a Paid Juror

In my pursuit of finding weird ways to make money, I found out about a site called Sign Up Direct where you can volunteer to be a mock juror. This is a bit of a stretch to call it making money online as you do have to do this one in person, but they do find opportunities in your area. Instead of the normal $15 for an entire day's work that jury duty gives you, this gets you $120 for a little over five hours of your time. Now you're not going to set the world on fire with the payday, but it's super easy money.

I signed up and was actually scheduled to be a mock juror within a week. I went to the office on a weekday night and at registration, I quickly realized that I was by far the sexiest juror out of the 21 selected people. Before we got started, we had to answer survey questions for an hour which was super boring as you had to wait for them to record the entire group's answer before moving on to the next question. It was definitely the most tedious part of the evening.

This brought us to our first of two breaks during the evening. The most disappointing part of the night were that the snacks were terrible. A tray of small store-bought cookies. They had sodas but no bottled water, what a joke. Since I'm a meathead, I brought a protein bar, and people were hella jealous of me.

After that, it was basically just a speedy trial. The reason they do this is to try to come to a settlement without actually going to court. If one side hears that a jury is not as favorable to their side as they expected, they may be willing to alter their negotiation in order to get a deal done to either save money or ensure they get something, rather than nothing. They have the lawyers on each side there but instead of using witnesses, they just use video clips of depositions to try to prove their points.

The plaintiff's side starts, and although I am not allowed to talk about the specifics, I can tell you what I thought of the people presenting. Unimpressed is the best word to describe it. As someone who has seen nearly every episode of Suits, I know good lawyering when I see it, and this, my friends, were two lawyers that would have been absolutely shredded by Harvey Specter. Hell, they may have had trouble with Harold. On the plaintiff's side, they had an older gentleman who had the charisma of a mosquito. He presented some facts, presented some testimony and told us that we should do what's right. Although he wasn't entertaining with it, he had enough information that I was definitely on his side when he had finished, and the defendant was going to have a lot of work to do for me to change that opinion.

The defendant did not deliver. He brought the charisma, but unfortunately, the words that came out of his mouth showed no compassion, and it made him unlikable. He didn't talk for as long as the plaintiff's side, and that was good, because he really didn't do himself any favors when he opened his mouth. It was disappointing, as I was hoping to be wowed by some good lawyering, but these two were total amateurs.

We wrapped up with a quick rebuttal from the plaintiff's side, but even he knew he didn't have much work to do at that point. After that, we split into three groups and came up with our own individual decisions. Finally, after we have filled out that form and given our justification, we talk about it as a group to come together as a group decision. luckily, we all agreed that the plaintiff should win, so then I took charge and just had us average what we thought the settlement should be to come up with our final number, because it was past 11:00 PM, and I just wanted to get out of there at that point.

The highlight of the night was the end where they give you an envelope with your pay - straight cash, homey. Overall, it's easy, boring work, but I have $120 and compared to some of the previous installments of making money online, this one has definitely been the most lucrative. The only issue is that outside of signing up, it's not done online, which does definitely give it an advantage.

Long story short: I'm rich, bitch.

My First Ring of Honor Show

I went to my first Ring of Honor show last night in Lakeland, Florida. I am a pretty big wrestling nerd, but the first thing I noticed is that, oh man, I've got nothing on these wrestling nerds. Although I have gone to some independent shows, the only things that I follow on a weekly basis are WWE and Lucha Underground. The only champion I could have reliably named in Ring of Honor or New Japan is that Cody is the ROH World Champion. Still the show was going to have the Young Bucks and Kenny Omega on it, and even as a WWE fanboy, I knew how big of a deal that was so I decided that this was definitely a show I needed to see.

After going, I will 100% be back.

Ring of Honor put on an awesome show from beginning to end. My only real complaint about it is that it lasted nearly five hours, and five hours is simply too long of a wrestling show. Three hours is really the sweet spot where you are getting your money's worth but not being totally worn down by the end of the night. But even though I was worn down, they gave enough cooldown matches where the entire crowd was still hyped for the main event.

I told a buddy that I was going to the show (tried to convince him, but he decided he wasn't a big enough wrestling fan to fly from Iowa to Florida for wrestling), and he recommended watching "Being the Elite" YouTube videos. I told him that I had no interest in stupid YouTube shows, but then I ended up giving them a shot, and I'm glad I did. it made everything The Elite did that night make way more sense, because there are a lot of inside jokes that you would only know by watching their YouTube show.

Speaking of The Elite; they are pretty damn awesome. Cody (formerly Rhodes) does a great job as the arrogant heel. Hangman Page, who I knew very little about, put on an awesome match with Flip Gordon. The Young Bucks are super fun, and Kenny Omega might be the best wrestler on the planet. But the MVP was probably Marty Scurll. I had seen him one other time, but only as part of a 10-man tag match at WrestleCon, but he was my favorite part of The Elite that night. His entrance is fun, his wrestling is fun, and he just put on a really great show.

Other guys who stood out were Flip Gordon, former Bachelorette contestant Kenny King, and Dalton Castle who has a ton of charisma. One other thing were how big former WWE guys are. Sometimes they look small compared to the massive human beings in the WWE, so you forget how big guys like Simon Grimm (formerly Gotch) and Trent Baretta are.

It was five hours, but outside of a little longer breaks between matches since it was for TV tapings, the matches flew by, tons of incredible spots, and overall it was well worth the time and money spent. It's really tough to beat great pro wrestling, and this was definitely great pro wrestling.

Finally, I would just like to point out this hero.

But he woke up just in time for the main event, and he was as hyped as you would expect from a guy who just had a three hour nap. This guy lived Sunday Funday to the fullest, and for that, I salute you.

UFC Fight Night: Poirier vs. Pettis Is a Surprisingly Fun Card

UFC Fight Night: Poirier vs. Pettis happens this weekend, and there are actually a lot of fights that I am interested in. In fact, I would say there are more fights on this card that I am excited about than last week's ballyhooed UFC 217. I'm going to limit it to the five fights I am most interested in, but from the prelims through the main card, this one is definitely worth your time.

5. Raphael Assuncao (-330) vs. Matthew Lopez (+270)
This is pretty clearly a fight where the UFC has no idea what to do with Raphael Assuncao. His only loss in the last six years is to TJ Dillashaw, and that only makes them 1-1 against each other. But he also has been on the right side of three split decisions during that time, so it's not like he's been dominant. Lopez provides an interesting matchup as he has a strong wrestling background and some nasty ground and pound that he used to upset Johnny Eduardo in his last fight. If Lopez can control the positions, he's dangerous, but I think Assuncao has a few too many weapons to see him getting upset in this one.

4. Andrei Arlovski (+317) vs. Junior Albini (-392)
This is just two large men who are going to slug it out. Albini is the heavy favorite for good reason as he's been crushing fools since losing a couple fights by submission early in his fighting career. Arlovski has lost his last five fights, but he's put some scares in people during that time as he still has great power in his hands, but when heavyweights find his chin, he usually finds the floor. Arlovski has provided me loads of entertainment over the years, but win or lose, I'm kind of hoping he hangs it up after this one. Oh, and I'm expecting lose.

3. Joe Lauzon (-115) vs. Clay Guida (-105)
Neither of these guys are relevant for the title picture, but they are both high-paced fun fighters that have been around the UFC forever. I mean, Joe Lauzon debuted against Jens Pulver at UFC 63, and Clay Guida debuted the next month at UFC 64. I've been ready to give up on both of these guys as relevant fighters multiple times, but then they will bounce back and look great, making me look very stupid. Either way, this is going to be a high-paced, super fun fight. I'm taking Clay Guida, because I think he can control the fight with his wrestling, especially with him now training at Team Alpha Male. It's a close fight, but I figure I should give the edge to the person who was nice to me (Joe Lauzon has never interacted with me, for the record).

2. Dustin Poirier (+106) vs. Anthony Pettis (-126)
The main event of the evening only gets the second spot on my list. There is no doubt that these are two incredibly talented fighters who could be deserving of a title shot down the line. Dustin Poirier almost made a leap into title contention during his last fight, but it was cut short due to an illegal knee strike from Eddie Alvarez. Anthony Pettis has been on top of the mountain and now is trying to work his way back up. Pettis has looked more tentative in his last handful of fights, as he used to pair smooth striking with well-timed aggression, but now it's almost like he's waiting for the perfect time to strike instead of racking up points using good times to strike. Even with that, the only person to really outclass Pettis was Max Holloway who is making everyone look like a fool. I'm going to take Pettis by decision, but I don't feel great about it.

1. John Dodson (-125) vs. Marlon Moraes (+105)
Full disclosure: John Dodson once trained me in mixed martial arts, so I am incredibly biased for this fight. With that being said, I'm kind of in line with the betting odds on this one. I see it as a very close fight as I like Moraes a lot and thought he did enough to win in his UFC debut against Raphael Assuncao. But Dodson is really, really good. He has two losses to Demetrious Johnson, and he came out on the wrong end of a split decision against John Lineker, a fight that most people thought Dodson won, and a fight that Lineker did not make weight for. Moraes is good, but he's not Mighty Mouse good, and that's why I think Dodson takes it and immediately calls out TJ Dillashaw (who he knocked out in their UFC debuts) after the fight.

For a random fight night card, there is a lot to look forward to. And I didn't even have time to mention Matt Brown vs. Diego Sanchez, Nate Marquardt vs. Cezar Ferreira, and a Sage Northcutt fight. It's not the super fights of last weekend, but it's still going to be fun. As Steve Brule would say, "Check It Out."

Never Use Housekeeping

Whether it be for work or pleasure, I have traveled a fair amount in my day. And despite my white trash tendencies, I have stayed in some pretty upscale places. Those were all work related. I have also stayed in some dumps, because I'm a cheap piece of shit, and my wife has to convince me that maybe the Murder Inn is not the best place to spend an evening.

But through that time, I feel like I have learned some important lessons. The most important of these lessons is the relative worthlessness of housekeeping during your stay. Now, before I get going, let me say that they are VERY important between stays as I depend on them to not be lying in a mixture of blood, semen, and bedbugs. But once I get there, I really see no purpose in them coming in my room each day.

First off, I hate having the sheets tucked in. Seriously, who wants to be tucked that tight? I rarely wear shoes or underwear, because I am a man who needs freedom. Getting in one of those super tucked beds is one of the most aggravating feelings in the world. Nobody can possibly enjoy being tucked in like that. It is already too much of a struggle to get those sheets untucked. To have housekeeping come in and retuck might be too much for me to physically remove, and it is most certainly too much for me to mentally go through that struggle again.

Also, it's not like I need extra towels. Most of my trips to hotels are three nights or less. I can use a towel for three straight days without much stress. Even if I do need more towels or toiletries, I can get that separate without getting the whole housekeeping service.

Finally, I like my stuff where I leave my stuff. I don't need things moved around and put into proper places, because I like things laying around with no rhyme or reason as I thrive in chaos. I don't need things put in drawers and me having to search all around because a random woman, or man (I'm progressive), decided this was the best method moving forward. 

The only people that can justify using housekeeping are complete slobs who make the room into a shithole in a matter of hours and total sociopaths who enjoy the feeling of being tucked in. The former needs to clean up their act, and the latter needs professional help; not even housekeeping can save you from that.

How To Make Money Online: Project Payday

So in my efforts to make money in unconventional ways during my hiatus from the normal 9-5, I looked for anything that might help me make some scrilla. That led me to Project Payday which would pay you for taking surveys. This sounded great to me as I am excellent at answering questions, and my opinion should count.

So I signed up and started getting emails about surveys I was qualified for. To say these offers were a slap in the face would be a huge understatement. Like, my time doesn't have a ton of value, but it does have some value, and the price they were putting on my time was insulting. Let's go through the first offer that I received.

TV Survey - $1.50
Average time to complete: 50 minutes

Yes, that means they valued my time at three cents a minute or $1.80 per hour. Holy shit, how do they get anyone to agree to do this? And this was not an outlier. Currently on their website, I have this wonderful array of surveys to choose from.

Household Shopping Experiences Survey - $1.25
Family Survey - $0.35
Consumer Opinion Survey - $0.25
Canada Pet Owners - $0.75

Seriously, do people not value their time at all? I have no idea how this business plan works, so this gets a huge thumbs down from me. Of course, if they up their rates to $2 an hour, all bets are off, because everybody's got a price.

My Greatest Accomplishment

I have accomplished many things in my lifetime. Much like Jesus, my 33 years on this Earth have been filled with momentous occasions and legendary tales. Unlike Jesus, very few of mine have had a positive impact on the world as a whole, but the similarities are definitely there. Recently, I had a life milestone that will truly go down as my greatest accomplishment in this world. They say a picture is worth 1,000 words. In this case, 1,000 doesn't do it justice.

My picture is pathetic, but trust me, it's a pretty sweet setup.

I have an outdoor TV that I can see from my pool. In Florida, having a pool really isn't that big of a deal. I think half the people in my neighborhood have one, because it makes way more sense to have a pool down in Florida since we have the temperatures to take advantage of it. But to Little Joey growing up in Iowa? A pool was a dream I could barely fathom. A pool meant that you were a baller.

And now, on top of a pool, I have a flat screen TV that I can watch while chillaxin' in the pool. That is some next level shit. Little Joe-Joe couldn't even fathom having a television by the pool, much less a flat screen, because that only existed in science fiction. To this day, I still don't understand how it's possible for flat screen TVs to work.

With this setup, I can watch old episodes of WCW Nitro while enjoying the beautiful fall weather in Florida. In fact, it also works during winter and spring. And then during the summertime, I can do it while in the dang pool. If Cribs was still a show, I would probably have my own episode. Kanye West wishes he had this. Jay-Z could only dream of my situation. LL Cool J (literally the only other rapper I could think of) can't even fathom my swagger.

Anyway, I just really wanted to brag that I set up a TV outside, and I waited a couple months to make sure that my TV mount didn't fall (it survived the hurricane, so I think I'm good). Thank you for your time.

UFC 217 and the Return of GSP

Georges St. Pierre returns tomorrow night, and this is one of the most exciting comebacks in MMA history. Usually when guys are coming back after a retirement, it usually leads to morbid curiosity as I almost certainly know that a legend from the past is going to get smashed, but I still hold out that bit of hope that maybe they can show some of their past magic. GSP is different as despite a four-year layoff, he is still younger than his opponent on Saturday night.

So the question is, does GSP have what it takes to win a title at a different weight class than the one he specialized in after taking a long hiatus from the sport? Well, it's not going to be easy. Mixed Martial Arts is maybe the fastest evolving sport that we have. Just when you think a fighter has figured things out, somebody comes out of nowhere to shock the world. Anderson Silva was unbeatable until Chris Weidman had his number; nobody could handle Dominick Cruz's footwork until Cody Garbrandt came along and did it better; and Jon Jones continually gets TKO'd by USADA. Although GSP proved to be nearly unstoppable in his prime; we're years away from that era.

GSP's greatest strength is his versatility. He lacked a clear weakness, so opponents couldn't find an easy way to exploit him. Even if they were better in one area, GSP was strong enough in other facets of the fight game to keep them out of that area and control the match for victory. But even if he has versatile skills, have those skills grown, have they stagnated, or have they already started to deteriorate? It's not like those skills couldn't have grown. His opponent is a great example of that as Michael Bisping is fighting better now than he ever has in his career.

Speaking of Michael Bisping, he presents an interesting fight for St. Pierre. He's not a guy known for knockout power, but if he connects, as he did against Luke Rockhold, he definitely can put a guy out. Out of GSP's past opponents, I would say Bisping's style most closely matches up with Carlos Condit, a guy with good footwork who can strike in a variety of ways. GSP dispatched of Condit fairly easily, but Bisping is larger and has better wrestling defense. And that latter part is where this fight is going to be won.

If Bisping keeps it standing, I don't think GSP will offer enough on the feet to win the fight, but if Bisping's sprawl isn't on point, it is going to be 25 minutes of ground and pound for him as GSP is excellent at controlling opponents on the ground. Since I wear GSP-tinted glasses, I think he has the wrestling to get the fight to the ground and control the fight, making a triumphant return to the UFC to win the Middleweight Title.

The Rest of UFC 217
Since this card is in New York, they put together quite a stacked card. Although, GSP/Bisping is the main event and the one I am most excited for, here are quick thoughts and predictions for the four other fights on the main card.

Johny Hendricks vs. Paulo "Borrachinha" Henrique Costa
I really don't care about this fight. Borrachinha is an up and coming prospect as he is undefeated and has finished his first two opponents in the UFC. That part is interesting. Unfortunately, it is against Johny Hendricks, a guy who has had the fight beaten out of him in the last few years. The guy got lazy with the Welterweight limit, so he moved up in weight and still managed to miss the Middleweight limit. He's a man fighting for a paycheck, and considering he'll be making six figures to do it, it's good money to take a beating, but that's all I see happening in this fight. I say the Brazilian stops him in the first round.

Stephen Thompson vs. Jorge Masvidal
Don't sleep on this fight. Stephen Thompson's only loss in the last five years is to the Welterweight Champion, Tyron Woodley, and that was only by Majority Decision. But do not underestimate Jorge Masvidal, the man with the worst luck in the UFC. In the last six years, he has five losses, but four of those were by split decision, and Masvidal has fought some of the best in the division during that time. I think this is a super close fight, but nobody's truly figured out Thompson yet as even Woodley was just barely able to get by, so I'll stick with Masvidal's bad luck continuing and him losing by decision to Wonderboy.

Joanna Jędrzejczyk vs. Rose Namajunas
Good God, does this division need easier to spell names. Namajunas is about as easy as it gets with these Strawweight Ladies. Anyway, there's a reason that Jedrzejczyk is champion. Namajunas most impressive win was beating up Michelle Waterson in her last fight, and although that was impressive, Waterson is undersized for the Strawweight division. Also, the fact that Namajunas couldn't handle Karolina Kowalkiewicz in the fight before that, someone that Jedrzejczyk handled easily is not a good sign for her chances. Namajunas sticks around for the whole fight, but the champion retains.

Cody Garbrandt vs. TJ Dillashaw
TJ Dillashaw is a tremendous fighter. He puts up a high pace and has knockout power to back it up. He combines this with an impressive wrestling pedigree, and when you put it all together, it's kind of surprising he isn't an unbeatable champion reigning over his division. No matter how you slice it, Dillashaw is a special fighter.

But Cody Garbrandt is SPECIAL. He is so freaking good. All of the compliments I gave Dillashaw above can also be said about Garbrandt, except his knockout power is so impressive that he has finished all but two of his opponents via strikes. I'll admit, I thought Dominick Cruz was going to be unbeatable in that division, but Garbrandt not only beat him, he did it while talking shit the entire fight. There is a lot of bad blood in this fight, and for actual action, I don't think you can top this one. Dillashaw is super good, but I say Garbrandt not only wins, he finishes him late in the fight.

The UFC is putting on so many fight cards that many of them get watered down. This is not one of those times, as this is definitely worth going out of your way to see.

The West Texas Rednecks Are The Greatest Country Music Act In History

As a native Iowan, I know a lot about country music. I can name double-digit country music recording artists off the top of my head. Don't believe me? Alan Jackson, Garth Brooks, uh Toby Keith...and seven others that I will not list since I don't want to dignify your hypothetical question. But yeah, I know A LOT about country music. You probably thought I named all of the country musicians, but I left one very important group off that list, and that is the greatest country music act in history, The West Texas Rednecks.

The West Texas Rednecks came together during the summer of 1999, and they immediately set the world on fire with their debut hit, "I Hate Rap."

It still holds up as possibly the greatest song in country music history. What many people may not know is that the West Texas Rednecks were actually professional wrestlers who just created chart-topping country music hits on the side. In fact, they came up with this song so they could feud with Master P and the No Limit Soldiers, but in their first try at creating music, they did something better than Master P had ever come close to in his entire career. If I know anything about the south, it is their love of hip hop culture, but even in rapping hotbeds like Alabama, Mississippi, and Florida, people could not get enough of this country music. Finally, even southerners could enjoy country music.

But the West Texas Rednecks did not just rest on their laurels with the success of "I Hate Rap." They went out and created a tune nearly as good with their second single, "Good Ol' Boys."

Pretty bold move by these guys to make a song with the same name as the theme from the Dukes of Hazzard, but that just shows you the confidence that these guys had in themselves as musicians.

They got a bit more of a budget in this video as this is pretty impressive technology for 1999.

But they still knew that it was all about the music. Some artists would have played it safe and gone with something similar to their first success. Sure, they could have written Funk is Bunk or Rhymes Are Crimes, but they evolved as artists with "Good Ol' Boys," even using a female vocalist for the refrain.

The most important thing is that they also got edgy in their lyrics. If you think crap was on the borderline of decency, well, they really pushed the envelope on this one.

We got an old hound dog and a pickup truck
We like the long-legged country girls who know how to...

Before I go on to that final word, let me think of something that I would like a country girl to know how to do. Oh, and it should also rhyme with truck. Could it be puck, and they have a weird obsession with hockey? Probably not. Tuck - I mean it is possible that they want to be tucked in for bedtime. Ugh, this is tough, Buck doesn't quite work. Cuck seems incredibly weird and a little too progressive for country music. Duck would help if they were on a dodgeball team. Fu...oh yeah, that's definitely it.

And it would have been, but they instead went with Love, which doesn't even rhyme and just shows you what they were really thinking. They say this line a second time and even drag out the pause to really let you know what they like to do with country girls.

Unfortunately, the band members went their separate ways shortly after their second hit and never recorded another song again. If their goal was to conquer country music, it's tough to blame them after they clearly achieved that goal. It doesn't matter whether they did it with talent or did it with luck; they were on the prowl to find those country girls who know how to...love.

Two songs, two number one hits. Nobody in music history can match that. You might call it great; I'd call it Perfect.

Dear UFC: Wingspan Is Not Reach

Although I try to act like an adult and not let small things bother me, sometimes I fail. And sometimes, these things are so shockingly small, yet cause me so much irritation that I must share my thoughts with the world. Even though I love watching mixed martial arts fights, I get irritated before every single fight when they display the tale of the tape.

I have no problem with the photos, the age, height, the weight, or even the shitty advertisement at the bottom. it's just that Reach column that irritates me more than I would like to admit. According to this, Robbie Lawler has a 74 inch reach and Rory MacDonald has a 76 inch reach. Reach, like how far you can reach with one of your arms from your body. According to this, both of these men have arms that are over six feet long, each arm being taller than their entire body. How is that possible?

It isn't; it's all because the UFC doesn't know the difference between reach and wingspan. You don't measure from the end of one hand to the end of the other hand for reach, because that is completely irrelevant when it comes to fighting. Reach is actually super important, and it would be interesting to see the actual reach of the fighters.

You may be thinking that you can just cut the advantage in half and call it a day, but again, wingspan is not directly correlated to reach. There is this thing called the torso in between and that can vary from athlete to athlete. So a guy with a longer wingspan wouldn't necessarily have the reach advantage in a fight. Unfortunately, we'll never know, because the entire sport of mixed martial arts is too stupid to recognize the difference between reach and wingspan.

Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream. I have my dream. Although mine is much smaller and less impactful, I think it could bring a lot of joy to people's lives if mixed martial arts finally figured out the difference between reach and wingspan. Please, Endeavor, you own the UFC; now is your time to make a difference.