With Smackdown moving to a live show on Tuesdays, there are plenty of rumors about an upcoming brand split for the WWE. Instead of waiting for the WWE to pull off a disappointing draft routine, the ultimate tag team, Lukewarm Jonah and Hott Joe, came together this past week to have an old fashioned WWE Fantasy Draft. Our goal is to create the best possible roster to create a successful, moneymaking product.
We knocked out the main roster in parts
one,
two, and
three, with a
review added at the end. But this week, we focus on NXT. With 73 superstars, we had to break it into two parts,
with part one earlier this week. So let's see what Jonah and I did for part two.
36-37. Jonah selects Sara Lee and King Constantine
Sara Lee, female winner of Tough Enough, great prospect. Already known to a large audience from being on Tough Enough. Now we’re getting really deep into the draft. Joe had the advantage living in Florida, but I tried to come out swinging. King Constantine is the total package. Number one, he’s got an awesome name, he’s shredded as all get out, he’s a multiple time medalist in amatuer wrestling, and he’s an evil Russian. After a year or two more of developing he’ll be ready to make his main roster debut and Putin will have probably declared war on us by then.
38-39. Joe selects Hugo Knox and Chris Girard
Chris Girard is a classic indy guy who is getting his chance in the WWE. He's going to be a good worker, and we'll see what he can blossom into when given an opportunity. Hugo Knox is a bodybuilding Brit who likes to dance. That is my jam right there. I laugh every time I see him, but it's definitely laughing with him, because he's basically dancing like he's at the club in the middle of the ring. He'll likely remain as the guy that I love way more than anybody else, but I'm still good with that.
40-41. Jonah selects Riddick Moss and Alexander Wolfe
I actually did my research on these guys. Riddick Moss is endorsed by Finn Balor. If Finn says you’ll be good, I believe him. He’s also 6’2” 250 lbs. So Finn says he can wrestler and he’s got a good look. Alexander Wolfe has made it on tv a few times as an enhancement talent, but he’s gotten in some offense. I’ve read a lot of people praising his work, and he’s also the only German to be employed by the WWE so he expands my market into Germany as well.
42-43. Joe selects Aliyah and Thomas Kingdon
Aliyah is another attractive lady who is super young but has gotten a decent amount of matches for her age. She was highlighted on Breaking Ground, and it's clear that the WWE is excited about her potential. Kingdon is just a massive human being. No clue about anything else that he brings to the table.
44-45. Jonah selects Dylan Miley and Josh Woods
Holy crap have you seen Dylan Miley? He’s 6’3” 285 lbs. Built like Rusev. He’s raw, but he certainly has the look of a freaking monster. Josh Woods has a good look, like the partial mask he wears during his entrance, then takes off after his entrance. He’s also a 4 time All American, and a former National Champion. That screams superstar to me.
46-47. Joe selects Bronson Mathews and Tucker Knight
Bronson Mathews won Tough Enough and seems to be really disliked by almost everyone in the WWE. Welp, we're at pick 46, so what else do you want me to do? Tucker Knight originally had trunks that looked like a diaper wrapped with duck tape. I think he got rid of those, but he was the only guy left who has gotten TV time, so I think that is worth it.
48-49. Jonah selects Jeet Rama and Kishan Raftar
I felt kind of bad not taking Tucker Knight since he’s from my hometown of Portland, Oregon, but I’m just not sold on him. Jeet Rama is a big dude with an athletic background and a sick moustache. He’s also Indian and teams with fellow Indian Kishan Raftar. Raftar is also a big guy who was an amatuer wrestling background. Most importantly, they’re Indian. If The Great Khali can get India interested, imagine what these two can do.
50-51. Joe selects Gzim Selmani and Sunny Dhinsa
So these guys are actually a tag team, and they have these awesome masks that they wear out to the ring. They are basically Executioners. I have watched them wrestle the Ealy Brothers, and it wasn't very good. Then I watched them against TM 61, and it was really fun. There's something here, so we'll see how far they can go.
52-53. Jonah selects Chris Atkins and Dallas Harper
What happens when you look up Chris Atkins? You find a picture of him flexing making Arnold look tiny in comparison. He was also trained by Sgt. Craig Pittman, and he’s Australian but clearly cooler than Murphy. Dallas Harper made his debut by talking down to the crowd and telling them that he’s 6’9” and oh so fine. That kind of confidence gets you a spot on my roster.
54-55. Joe selects Dan Matha and Nikki Storm
Dan Matha is a large human being. That’s really all I know about him. Nikki Storm tore it up on the independents and once she debuts, she’s probably going to get a significant push to make an impact. I feel stupid for letting her fall this far, but I’m happy to have benefitted from her falling.
56-57. Jonah selects Daria and Kenneth Crawford
Daria was also on Tough Enough and is a former MMA fighter. That bodes well for her technical abilities. She’s also apparently friends with Maria Menoudos, so I assume they’ll be future partners in a Wrestlemania match. Kenneth Crawford was a marine and I’m a big mark for former military members. USA USA USA.
58-59. Joe selects Cezar Bononi and Noah Kekoa
I’ve never seen Bononi wrestle, but I did once see him cut a promo. It wasn’t good, but English is at least his second language, and even though he struggled a little, he powered through, so I was pretty impressed with the big man from Brazil. Noah Kekoa got beat up on NXT television a few weeks ago, so he is a wrestler that exists.
60-61. Jonah selects Uriel and Gabriel Ealy
Identical twins and they’re a tag team? Look out Bashams and Neo Nazis who are in charge of TNA’s production here come the Ealys. Once they get called up they’re definitely squashing the Usos to establish their dominance.
62-63. Joe selects Mada and Steve Cutler
Mada was on Tough Enough. Did he win? Well, no. Second place? Nope. Third? Nah. I honestly don’t even remember how early he was eliminated at this point, but he’s a big dude, and it doesn’t get much better at pick 63. Steve Cutler was in the military, I think I heard that somewhere, so let’s go for it. I’ll also make up that he’s cousins with Jay Cutler. The bodybuilder, not the quarterback.
64-65. Jonah selects Babatunde Aiyegbusi and Carolyn Dunning
I was more excited than anyone should ever be about drafting Babtunde Aiyegbusi. There was a lot of hype about him last year. In the wrestling world? No, in the NFL when he signed with the Minnesota Vikings. Clearly that didn’t work out but he’s a physical freak and that’s never a bad thing. Carolyn Dunning was a model and a bodybuilder. Like Joe says, can’t have enough good looking women on your roster.
66-67. Joe selects Terrance Jean-Jacques and Danielle Kamella
Terrance Jean-Jacques is a former Iowa wrestler, so he’s totally my jam. He only lasted a year, but enough Iowa rubbed off on him to become the third NXT champion with Iowa ties. Maybe you’ve heard of Seth Rollins and Big E Langston? Yeah, Iowa people are the best. Danielle Kamella has done a bunch of media things, so she should have some charisma on the microphone.
68-69. Jonah selects Jerome Turner and Bianca Blair
Jerome Turner was signed because The Rock said they should sign him, The Rock. He’s big and a former boxer. Also, The Rock. Bianca Blair will be the number one heel in all of professional wrestling within a year. She’s a crossfitter. The gimmick I will give her is that of a crossfitter who talks about nothing but crossfit. Straight cash homey.
70-71. Joe selects Adrian Jaoude and Nikola Bogojevic
Jonah, saying a crossfitter who talks about nothing but crossfit is redundant, as that is the very definition of a crossfitter. Anyway, these are foreigners with amateur wrestling backgrounds, so I’m guessing at least one of them will be the next Iron Shiek. Also, I didn’t want ZZ. God, I am so happy to not have ZZ.
72-73. Jonah selects Macey Estrella and ZZ Loupe
Macey Estrella has a professional wrestling background and was on the SWAT team and a former marine. Again, I mark for the troops and being a SWAT team member her gimmick is Michelle Rodriguez from SWAT. ZZ Loupe was the last person available. He’s famous so I guess that’s a good thing.
We'll be back tomorrow for our final review.
