Showing posts with label Heavy Machinery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Heavy Machinery. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 28, 2020

The WWE Is Ruining... Heavy Machinery

Ah, Heavy Machinery, we hardly knew ye. This is something I said repeatedly when they were ripped away from NXT far before their time. WWE weirdly decides that some guys are ready before they’ve put the finishing touches on their act, and Heavy Machinery needed some more seasoning before being done in developmental.

They were starting to have good matches, and they got “Steaks and Weights” over, but there was no other substance to them. If you think about wrestlers that were brought up to the main roster after a brief stint on NXT TV, it’s just an awful group. Scanning the list, I’m finding such luminaries as EC3, the entire Riott Squad, and Apollo Crews spring to mind. And really, if you didn’t hold a title in NXT, the results are fairly grim outside of Baron Corbin, who I can’t remember holding a title on the main roster, and he’s their best example of someone rising above.

They had a lot of fluff, but they weren’t allowed to develop their stuff, so instead of people giving them a “Holy Shit” level of excitement, they came out to an “Oh, that’s cool,” level of excitement, and that won’t carry you very far.

So now, Otis is in a jokey love angle with Mandy Rose, and those always make superstars, while Tucker...exists. They’re kind of in the title picture, because all tag teams are kind of in the title picture, but the WWE doesn’t put a lot of effort into the tag division, so I don’t have high hopes.

If anything, I’d like to see them come back to Full Sail and get a bit of an edge. They’re big dudes, but they’re seen as more jokers than badasses, and it’s fine to have fun, but people should be scared that they are going to literally rip your limbs off and squash you like a bug. With that, and the natural charisma that Otis has (Tucker isn’t as bad as most people seem to think, just not on that same level), they could actually create a viable tag team that could carry the belts for six months while putting on a variety of interesting matchups.

Otherwise, they can steal the Big O’s catchphrase of “More Weights Equals More Dates,” and they can start dating both members of Fire and Desire.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Aiden English
AJ Styles

Thursday, January 10, 2019

The Ultimate NXT Draft Review: 62-73

In June of 2016, so now nearly two and a half years ago, Lukewarm Jonah and I got together to do an NXT Fantasy Draft. We are going to focus on the NXT roster as the transition from NXT to the main roster or just the progression within NXT provides some fascinating talking points. Although we did a fairly good job, there were definitely some big time misses and some amazing steals. We've already broken down the first 61, so we will finally close it out by going over the last twelve selections.


62-63. Joe selects Mada and Steve Cutler
Jonah: Mada looked cool as hell and apparently trained Jason Mamoa, sadly he was released.  Steve Cutler is in the Forgotten Sons. He was an NXT jobber forever, and is recently seeing some success as a member of the new group.  He’s a veteran, and as I mentioned I’m a huge mark for vets. He’s on NXT TV and actually winning matches since he’s a Forgotten Son, so he does have some potential going forward.


Joe: Jay got all of the attention, and nobody paid any mind to Lil’ Stevie. He truly was the Forgotten Son.

64-65. Jonah selects Babatunde Aiyegbusi and Carolyn Dunning
Joe: I’m going to go out on a limb and say Carolyn Dunning is no longer with the WWE since she hasn’t had a match in nearly three years since being signed. That is bad, but Babatunde Aiyegbusi is good. He is 6’10” and he can move fairly well. He doesn’t have a wide array of an offensive moveset, but he’s gigantic and competent. They have really slow played his development as he has been hitting up the house show scene for over two years without making his NXT debut, and I would guess that he will make a huge impact in 2019. I haven’t seen a ton of charisma, but he shows flashes, and at that size, he’s pretty much guaranteed to make the main roster.


Jonah: Carolyn Dunning is just patiently waiting for a track to explode on, but yeah she’s probably no longer employed.  I had actually heard of Babatunde since he was signed to the Minnesota Vikings the year before he went into wrestling. I knew he was a physical freak, which is a good thing in the WWE.  He has already made his main roster debut as the highlight of The Greatest Royal Rumble. Lio Rush also used to ride around on his shoulders, and that’s a gimmick that would get over anywhere.

66-67. Joe selects Terrance Jean-Jacques and Danielle Kamella
Jonah: So Terrance Jean-Jacques is a former Iowa wrestler and he beat his pregnant girlfriend and was released.  As I learn that the WWE takes domestic violence more seriously than many other sports, he’s a MMA fighter these days.  Danielle Kamella is Vanessa Borne who is an NXT wrestler with a character who is on TV. She mostly loses, but nice pick here to get a wrestler who is still developing.


Joe: This was my worst round of the draft. Vanessa Borne might be interesting, not even touching TJJ.

68-69. Jonah selects Jerome Turner and Bianca Blair
Joe: Jerome Turner has never had a match, so I’ll assume he’s done wrestling. Bianca Belair might be the second best pick in this entire draft, as she is UN-DUH-FEA-TED and totally awesome. She’s also married to Montez Ford which makes them the couple that the WWE wished John Cena and Nikki Bella were. She’s fantastic in the ring; she’s fantastic on the mic; she’s just fantastic, and the WWE will have to really try to mess up her career.


Jonah: Jerome Turner is just putting in the work at the Performance Center, waiting to be unleashed.  Bianca Belair is un duh fea ted, and that is a fact. She’s a physical marvel in the ring and she has great charisma.  She should be a future star especially if she’s whipping fools with her braid.

70-71. Joe selects Adrian Jaoude and Nikola Bogojevic
Jonah: Adrian Jaoude is Caesar Bononi’s tag team partner, so you’ve reunited this team.  He’s a BJJ practitioner, and gets on TV. He was also 8-3 in MMA, with his last fight being a loss to Roy Nelson which seems like a size mismatch.  He’s also 41, so he needs to get called up on the quick. Nikola Bogojevic is the other half of Heavy Machinery so way to reunite them as well. Big dude, can do the worm, good enough in the ring, and the charismatic one of the tag team.  Heavy Machinery would have a nice jump in the redraft, while Jaoude is picked before all the people who retired.


Joe: HOW DARE YOU CONFUSE ADRIAN JAOUDE AND ANTOINE JAOUDE. Antoine is over the hill, but Adrian is a spry 37 so has plenty of time to reach his full potential. There is some hope for Jaoude as he and Bononi have occasionally been hanging around Taynara Conti, so they could create a formidable stable. I still definitely could have done better. Through the main roster and NXT draft, I loaded up on talented ladies and thought I was full of them which caused me to miss out on Bianca Belair and Jonah’s last pick.


But at least I didn’t let Otis Dozovic slip through my fingers. I still don’t think Dozer has a high ceiling, as even with his charisma, it’s more goofy than important. Basically, I think he’s George “The Animal” Steele. That’s a hell of a career, but I don’t really see the guy challenging for world titles.


Jonah: What is A. Jaoude the John Anderson of Brazil?  Sorry to mix up your guys Joe, clearly he’s very important.

72-73. Jonah selects Macey Estrella and ZZ Loupe
Joe: I think what this shows is that WWE is super fucking good at finding and signing talent. Macey Estrella is now Lacey Evans and may have debuted by the time this is published. She was nearly the last pick in the draft, because all I knew was that she was a tall blonde lady. I’m not the biggest Evans fan, but she definitely has enough talent to last on the main roster for quite a while, so good for her.


At least I knew that ZZ had no future in wrestling as he sucked on Tough Enough and apparently sucked after Tough Enough as he got released before he could shit the bed in front of an audience.


Jonah: Lacey Evans is a good female wrestler who is main roster bound.  She’s pretty, jacked, and has an original character. It should work. It’s kind of hard to not end up with the worst wrestler when you have the last pick in the draft, but ZZ had some show on the WWE Network for awhile, so at least he was on TV.

Previous Installments:
Picks 1-10

Picks 11-20

Picks 21-30

Picks 31-40

Picks 41-51

Picks 52-61

Tuesday, January 8, 2019

The Ultimate NXT Draft Review: 41-51

In June of 2016, so now nearly two and a half years ago, Lukewarm Jonah and I got together to do an NXT Fantasy Draft. We are going to focus on the NXT roster as the transition from NXT to the main roster or just the progression within NXT provides some fascinating talking points. Although we did a fairly good job, there were definitely some big time misses and some amazing steals. We've already broken down the top 40, and now it's time to author the next 11 picks.


41. Jonah selects Alexander Wolfe
Joe: He has made it to Smackdown, so that’s a nice accomplishment, but he may be the least important person on Smackdown. Earlier, I mentioned Street Profits being The Black Rockers. Well, Sanity is Goth Rockers, with Killian Dain as Shawn Michaels, Eric Young as Marty Jannetty, and Alexander Wolfe as Leif Cassidy, and only Leif Cassidy as there is no Al Snow run to follow.


That was unnecessarily mean as he is very solid, just has been given nothing to make him memorable in any way. I doubt many people even know he’s German.


Jonah: Hey Wolfe made the main roster and that is impressive.  He’s also a former NXT Tag Team Champion. He looked great in that War Games match, he does have some real potential if they ever use him in any way.  Joe mentioned that he is German which is great for the expanding Europe market, but making his gimmick anything German probably won’t go well, a little bit of German culture goes a long way Joe.  The crazy thing is Sanity will probably be tag team champs on the main show at some point, so I think he’s a future tag champion. At 41, that’s a good pick, and really this probably where he deserves to go even if he did already make the main roster.


Joe: Jonah, have you not been paying attention? German thoughts from the 1930s are all the rage in America today. Alexander Wolfe could be the babyface the oppressed white heterosexual males need to fight for their cause.

42-43. Joe selects Aliyah and Thomas Kingdon
Jonah: Aliyah has become a new heel in the lower card of NXT.  She’s getting some TV time and has a gimmick of a rich spoiled girl.  She’s got potential and you never know what she could become in the future.  She’s good enough in the ring and super young. A nice potential pick here. Thomas Kingdon is huge and working at a 24 Hour Fitness.


Joe: Aliyah has had more gimmicks and turns than anyone in NXT history. That seems to give her less aim, but maybe she’ll just become a construction worker and join up with Heavy Machinery on the main roster next month. I’ll just take your word on Thomas Kingdon as I’m not even going to waste my time looking him up.

44-45. Jonah selects Dylan Miley and Josh Woods
Joe: Josh Woods is gone, but the Dylan Miley pick worked out okay for Jonah. He’s now lurking around as Lars Sullivan. Sullivan is going to be interesting, because he plays the monster, but he’s really just a beefier Rusev who has solid charisma but not to the level of Rusev, but he’s American, so his charisma will likely get seen as much higher since he doesn’t have an accent. This is obviously incredible value as he can make a strong case to be in the top ten. I would have liked to see him get some more seasoning in NXT as these quicker call-ups do not have a great history. It will be interesting to see what they do, as he could be a monster on the level of Lesnar or Strowman, or he could end up doing shitty comedy bits and be depressingly underutilized.


Jonah: Dylan Miley looked like a buff George “The Animal” Steel, that’s a good look.  He’s now known as Lars Sullivan and he’s going to the main roster as a monster. He had a good NXT career and he moves up a ton of picks in a redraft.  Great wrestling pick, but he’s a racist so that really bums out my excitement over this pick. Josh Woods won the ROH Top Prospect Tournament in 2017, so he was still a good pick, he’ll be back in the WWE in five years as a huge indy signing.


Joe: Jonah, can you hear me? Are you still living in reality? What have you seen from Josh Woods that makes you think he’ll be a huge Indy signing in five years? I actually like him, and although anything could happen, this is an insane take.


Jonah: In five years Triple H will be signing everyone he can from ROH, that’s just a fact.  He probably renames the WWE NWA-ROH.

46-47. Joe selects Bronson Mathews and Tucker Knight
Jonah: Bronson Matthews won Tough Enough and was hated by everyone, he got released.  Tucker Knight is half of Heavy Machinery and despite looking like garbage at the Portland NXT show, he found gear and a wrestling style that worked for him.  Heavy Machinery is on their way to the main roster so great pick and a higher pick in the redraft.


Joe: Not my best round as Mathews is gone, but Tucker Knight is going up to the main roster so that’s nice value. Still not sure what kind of impact they will have on the main roster as I definitely have doubts about how well they will be used. Either way, I can’t wait for six months of Heavy Machinery vs. The Ascension before it comes to a head on the Vengeance preshow.

48-49. Jonah selects Jeet Rama and Kishan Raftar
Joe: They have not done anything with Jeet Rama, and they released Raftar, but at this point in the draft, you’re basically throwing darts hoping somebody will work out. These darts didn’t hit a bullseye, but he does have some of the greatEST steals coming up later.


Jonah: Good news, Jeet Rama is still signed to NXT.  The WWE needs an Indian superstar, and I can guarantee that Rama is better in the ring than The Great Khali and can pretty confidently say he’s better in the ring than Canadian Jinder Mahal.  If he’s still got that moustache, he’s gonna be over like Rover. Kishan Raftar was released and retired this year, cutting my Indian developmental guys in half.

50-51. Joe selects Gzim Selmani and Sunny Dhinsa
Jonah: These random names are better known as AOP, The Authors of Pain.  Well done on the pick here as they are former NXT Tag Team Champs and former RAW Tag Champs.  They have everything that could make a real monster tag team. They’re The Ascension except physically intimidating and better in the ring.  They were obviously better with Paul Ellering than Drake Maverick, but having some sort of a manager makes tons of sense. Make AOP a real monster tag team and they will be great for the next decade.  I think these guys move up to the top 20, maybe the biggest jump of anyone in the redraft.

Joe: Yeah, definitely a fan of the AOP pick, and although they have had a slow start, they are massive, strong, and have shown they can go in the ring. It would take a lot of things to go wrong for them to not be one of the better tag teams for years to come. Thank God they had cool masks, or otherwise, they may have slipped by.

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

The 41 Best Matches of WrestleMania 33 Weekend - 41-31

I am about five months younger than WrestleMania. After 30 years of being a wrestling fan, I made my first trip to WrestleMania out in San Jose/San Francisco for WrestleMania 31. It was pretty damn incredible. I know that makes me a giant nerd, and I am totally cool with that. Wrestling doesn't need to be cool, because it is hilarious and occasionally awesome. Two years later, it came to Orlando, and since that is less than two hours away, I knew that I would be making my second WrestleMania trip. Starting on Thursday, I saw WrestlePro, the WrestleCon Supershow, NXT Takeover, and of course, WrestleMania 33. Although I may be a nerd about wrestling, even I have to tap out after four nights of events, so I chose not to go to Raw or Smackdown. But I still saw a hell of a lot of wrestling, and here are the beginning of my rankings, working from worst to 31st.

41. WrestleMania - Randy Orton def. Bray Wyatt
This match could have reached its ceiling of unmemorable garbage, but instead, they decided to be memorable which turned a boring match into a laughably bad match. I don't know what projecting maggots, worms, and cockroaches on the mat of the ring was supposed to do, but whatever it was, it didn't work, for the crowd or Wyatt. Honestly, at first, I was kind of angry about how bad it was, but looking back in a year or ten, I think I will be glad I could say I was there for one of the dumbest ideas in wrestling history. 

40. NXT - Peyton Royce defeated Aliyah 
This was a match taped for the weekly NXT show. Outside of Peyton Royce hitting a Perfect Plex, I remember nothing about this.

39. WrestleCon Supershow - Sandman def Joey Ryan to win the DDT Ironman Heavymetalweight Championship
I mean, I thought an active Sandman was as bad as that guy could look, but no, he looked far worse as he made his six minute entrance to the ring. By just walking by me, he made our entire section smell like a bar, which was kind of impressive. But he beat the King of Dong Style with one kendo stick strike to the head to become the new HeavyMetalWeight Championship.

38. WrestlePro - Chris Payne def. Tommy Dreamer
This was a Falls Count Anywhere match, and those are always kind of terrible, because you can't see most of the action. It's nice for the people in the cheap seats, but I ponied up the extra $15 for reserved seating, so it didn't benefit me any. I don't know, Tommy Dreamer has never done it for me, although he seems like a real nice guy. This match wasn't bad, but it was a nostalgia match where I didn't really care about any of the nostalgia.

37. WrestleCon Supershow - Joey Ryan defeats Swoggle to win the DDT Ironman Heavymetalweight Championship
This preceded the Sandman match, and it's higher just to see the highest of highs for Swoggle turn to the lowest of lows for him.

36. WrestlePro - CAQ def. Craven Varro
Craven was like a heavy metal rocker, as he had long hair, and was skinny enough to be on copious amounts of drugs. Speaking of, CAQ was a mental patient who barely felt pain. CAQ won to stay undefeated, so I felt like I was seeing the early stages of a Goldberg-like streak. 

35. WrestlePro - The Taboo Crew def. Team Espana and Apple Corps
I really liked the Apple Corps, get it, like the Marine Corps, mostly because they kept screaming Apple Corps, and I like when people yell easy things that I can also yell. But maybe the most important part of this match is that each team had a manager, and all of the managers got involved in cat fights, even though one of them was a fella in a cat fight. The Taboo Crew were also fun enough where I wasn't disappointed in their victory.

34. WrestleMania - Intercontinental Championship Match - Dean Ambrose (c) def. Baron Corbin
A lot of people wanted to majorly shit on this match, but I didn't find it offensively bad. It was a Dean Ambrose match, what did you really expect? It was fine.

33. WrestlePro - Beefcake Charlie won a Scramble Match
Well, the internet was not great at getting me the information on what guys were in this match, but Beefcake Charlie is a fat guy in a pink singlet, and because of that, he was a crowd favorite and deserved to win. there was also a guy that dressed up as a Power Ranger who probably had the most long-term potential in the match. This was a very good indy match for unknown guys, but it's kind of tough to compare to some of the top notch talent that was involved in a lot of the other matches.

32. WrestlePro - Tag Team Championship - The Heavenly Bodies def. Da Hit Squad
This was a fine tag match, where Da Hit Squad came out hot and destroyed everything in sight. Then they ran out of gas late in the match, and The Bodies were able to win. Still, the biggest highlight was Impact Wrestling Tag Team Champions, LAX, coming out and wrecking house on everyone, and then Konnan cutting a promo. I'm never going to be mad at the K-Dogg showing up.

31. NXT - Heavy Machinery defeated The Bollywood Boyz 
These are two tag teams that I like way more than I should. Seriously, that Bollywood Boyz entrance where they mimic a camera is amazing. Also, if you can't get behind Heavy Machinery, I don't want to be your friend. Fat guys doing fat guy stuff and having fun with it will always put a smile on my face.