Showing posts with label Roman Reigns. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Roman Reigns. Show all posts

Monday, May 18, 2020

Reviewing the New WWE Ice Cream Bars

WWE, years after CM Punk asked for them to come back, finally partnered with Good Humor to release WWE Ice Cream Bars.  Punk, unsurprisingly, was not one of the four superstars featured on the ice cream sandwiches. Instead, they went with John Cena, Becky Lynch, Roman Reigns, and Macho Man Randy Savage.

As a child, I remember being so excited when the ice cream truck had these, because pro wrestling and ice cream were two of my favorite things in this world. Come to think of it, both of those things are still awesome.

So when I heard they were back, I was so excited that I had to get them right away. But then I'd be at the store and totally forget about it, so it actually took me a couple weeks. But when I finally did remember, I knew it was worth the $4.19 to get four small ice cream bars.

The first one I took out had Macho Man Randy Savage on one side. Then I flipped it over, and Becky Lynch was there. That is a damn strong start for my first ice cream sandwich. I unwrapped this treat and took my first sweet bite.

It was pretty bland.

The cookie outside doesn't deliver, and the vanilla ice cream seems doesn't add a whole lot either. I ended up grabbing some chocolate chips to punch it up a bit. That made a significant improvement, but I would way rather just have good ice cream than deal with this.

Overall, I would not recommend these. I was very excited by the idea but very disappointed in the execution. Most importantly, I got no taste of nostalgia, and that was the flavor I was most hoping to savor.

Thursday, March 12, 2020

The WWE Is Ruining... Samoa Joe

When it comes to Samoa Joe, the WWE is edging. They almost go full climax with Joe, but then they pull back, and they’re stuck with their pud in their hand as everything peters out. 

He’s been close to world titles but never been able to capture one. He finally won a title, the US Title, but that was from R-Truth, and it wasn’t even in a one-on-one match as it was a Fatal-Fourway involving Andrade and Rey Mysterio Jr. After he won the title, he was 1-2 in singles matches, beating Ali and losing to Kurt Angle and Mysterio. After holding onto the title for two months, Mysterio beat him a second time to win the title. 

As of this writing, Seth Rollins and his gang of cronies are continually beating Joe, Kevin Owens, and the Viking Raiders, and it’s just tough to get excited about Joe’s prospects. 

So how do you get things turned around? I mean, Joe is this insane badass, so you could go all the way with it, have him jump over to Smackdown and choke The Fiend unconscious at the end of an episode and fade to black like Joe just murdered him. Maybe you could do it in support of Roman Reigns at Mania. That way, when Roman Reigns wins the title, you just have Samoa Joe nuke him too so he’s the one standing tall at the end of the night and everybody goes home happy. 

That’s obviously the biggest solution, but Joe can be this scary badass without all of the kiddie shit of being dead or a demon. He’s just a badass, no bells and whistles necessary. That sure as hell sounds like championship material to me.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Aiden English
AJ Styles

Friday, February 21, 2020

The WWE Is Ruining... Roman Reigns

Obviously, the WWE has pushed Roman Reigns to the moon so it would seem hard to find any flaws with the rocket they have strapped to him, but I’m going to point out a missed opportunity, because WWE had this guy come back from cancer, and months later, he’s right back to the same spot he was before where the office loves him, and the fans are still mixed on their reactions.

Roman Reigns getting cancer is an awful thing, and it’s absolutely amazing that he has been able to make a full recovery. Yet WWE capitalized on it in the weakest way possible, he came back, announced that he was in remission and carried that to a babyface run where the goodwill ran out in a few months. They had the chance to do something impactful and took the safe, boring route instead.

Cancer is an awful disease. It wrecks the body from the inside, and even after people are treated, it’s not like they bounce back to being the same person they were before. What if they give Roman the big speech, but when he comes back, he loses? You show it in subtle ways where his moves just don’t quite have the pop, and his opponent gets up from his spear. Since a WWE audience isn’t great with subtlety, you have Roman talk about how he may have lost, but he’s going to get better, and he will be the Big Dog, blah, blah, blah. So he goes into his next feud, and he loses again. Then have him lose again in his next feud.

If you want to add to the drama, make him lose in a match against a heel where he has to win ten or twelve matches in a row to get another shot. The week after he wins, and wins, and wins, but stop the streak at 3 or 4 to make him go back to zero. Then have him get up to 7 or 8 the next time. Maybe even have him lose once more when he’s on the final match in the streak to really drive home the point, but show progress. Show that he started off slow because cancer took away his strength, but he won’t get defeated by cancer, and he’s going to keep fighting no matter how hard it is and how long it takes.

Then you have him finally make it to his big opportunity at WrestleMania where he’s still battling the cancer demons that sapped him of his strength, but now he’s at full power, and you have an entire crowd not only cheering for Roman Reigns, but for Roman Reigns to overcome cancer.

That is how you create a truly great WrestleMania moment and make Roman Reigns into the star that you have always wanted him to be.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Aiden English
AJ Styles

Monday, January 6, 2020

The WWE Is Ruining... Bray Wyatt

I got nothing on this one. Bray Wyatt has a fascinating character that was pushed to the top of the pile, and everybody still seems pretty on board with it.

My only concern is what they do once he loses. I’m hoping his weakness is found out to be water, and Roman Reigns very wet hair is enough to debilitate him. This is why Seth Rollins was so tough, but he didn’t quite get his hair wet enough to win.

But this is the issue. What happens when the unbeatable gets beat? Even people without super powers like Goldberg lost all their momentum when he was beaten by the use of a cattle prod. Asuka just kept losing, and we found out she was easily distracted by people cosplaying her. So how they make him dangerous but not unstoppable will determine the long-term success of The Fiend. But for now, you really can’t fault what WWE has been doing so far.


Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Aiden English
Akam
Aleister Black

Tuesday, October 8, 2019

WWE Is Ruining... Buddy Murphy

We’re all on the same page on this one. Buddy Murphy OWNS. Right? Like, that dude is just great. He has been putting on phenomenal matches that nobody sees on 205 Live, and then got called up to the main roster and once he accidentally got in a feud with Roman Reigns, started putting on phenomenal matches on Smackdown.

He never actually wins these matches, so this is where I would like to see WWE possibly do something different creatively. How about instead of Buddy Murphy losing, he wins instead? They gave him a win over Daniel Bryan which was incredible but then had him lose that momentum immediately by losing to Ali in the King of the Ring. Now, Ali is great too, but a situation fell into their lap where Murphy could have been rocketed towards the upper tier, and they let that situation completely peter out.

He’s had three great matches in a row on SmackDown between Reigns, Bryan, and Ali, so keep putting him in against strong Smackdown wrestlers and let the man go wild. That's the logical step, right? Instead, he has completely disappeared in a classic WWE move that kills all momentum, and yet, they wonder, how come they cannot create new stars?

Anyway, it's a huge week for wrestling with SmackDown debuting on Fox, so I am absolutely positive that they will not find a reason to put Buddy on television, but they should. He's the kind of wrestler that you put on television and casual fans who think that wrestling is stupid can say, "Oh, that guy does some cool stuff. I like him." Instead, they'll feature a newer, more athletic version of professional wrestling by wheeling out Hulk Hogan to give a ten-minute promo where he only actually says about 20 words. I'm a lifelong Hulkamaniac, but giving Buddy Murphy and Chad Gable or Ali or Apollo Crews or Sami Zayn OR OR OR, because they do have a stupid amount of talent, ten minutes of television time would be a way better use of keeping consumers coming back.

In conclusion, Buddy Murphy owns. Please put him on television.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Akam

Ali
Alicia Fox
Andrade "Cien" Almas
Apollo Crews
Bayley
Big E
Big Show
Bo Dallas
Bobby Lashley
Bobby Roode
Braun Strowman
Brock Lesnar
Carmella

Cesaro
Chad Gable

Friday, April 6, 2018

WrestleMania 34 Betting Odds and Predictions

LJ: You know what time it is?  Time for Wrestlemania betting odds.  Before we get into the matches, I’ve got a question for you Hott Joe.  With all these matches, how many years do we have before the Wrestlemania card is literally 24 hours long?  I put the over under at 5.5.

Joe: They are already at seven hours minimum, and man, it comes to a point where that is simply too much wrestling. I went to Mania last year, and by the final hour, I just wanted things to end. New Japan had their show in Long Beach a couple weeks ago, and that show went  4.5 hours which I think is really as long as you should possibly go. But yeah, WWE will definitely hold a 24-hour card by 2025.

Raw Women’s Title Match Alexa Bliss 13/8 vs. Nia Jax 4/9
LJ: This is a no brainer, and I love the odds here.  Getting close to 1/2 on what should be one of the easiest matches to pick is great money.  Jax wins, and if the WWE has any sense, she wins in a quick and dominating fashion.  I’d go hot start for Jax for a couple minutes, she misses a big move, Bliss gets in a couple of minutes of heel offense/works her leg etc.  Jax comes back and wins in another 2, 6-8 minutes is all this match needs and there’s no other story it should tell except for Jax beating Bliss.

Joe: Oh, Jonah. Sweet, sweet baby Jonah. If you think this buildup needs to have Nia Jax go over, then may I remind you of the time Triple H was super racist towards Booker T for months before pinning him cleanly at WrestleMania. Jax SHOULD win, no doubt about it, but these odds almost seem too good to be true. I have to pick Nia Jax, but if I had to book it the other way, maybe the Iconic Duo comes out to help Bliss win the match and create a stable of hot chicks. Oh, and this definitely won’t be the last time I mention The Iconic Duo.

Cruiserweight Title Match Cedric Alexander 2/5 vs. Mustafa Ali 7/4. 
LJ: I’ll be honest, I don’t follow the Cruiserweight division like I do the rest of the WWE.  These guys are fighting for the vacant Cruiserweight Championship since neither one of them is a rapist or wife beater, that we know of.  I’ve seen Cedric Alexander before and he is one of the top talents in the division, so it makes sense for him to win here.  I’ll go with the favorite in Alexander.

Joe: Um…well, the one guy does very cool stuff, but the other guy, boy, you got to watch out for them flips, and, ah…(flips coin) Mustafa Ali wins to help the WWE spread their brand to (checks Wikipedia) Bolingbrook, Illinois? Eh, let’s go with it.

Smackdown Women’s Championship Charlotte Flair 4/1 vs. Asuka 1/7.
LJ: I feel like the WWE has booked themselves into a corner here.  Undefeated streaks are kind of stupid storylines anyways, and now Asuka almost has to win, but the question becomes who beats her eventually?  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, she should have lost her first NXT Title match against Bailey or to Ember Moon on her way out of NXT.  But anyway, if I was actually betting I’d stay away from this match because there’s a chance that Carmella cashes in to win the title.  She could do it during or after the match so if it was after I suppose Asuka would still technically be the winner of this match.  The odds are terrible in this match, but Asuka is going to win, I just wouldn’t recommend betting on it.

Joe: Asuka has to win this match. Carmella has to come out to at least hint at cashing in, but even if she cashes it in, she ain’t winning that title. The only way Charlotte wins is if she somehow convinces The Iconic Duo to join her in a new-age BFFs.

Kurt Angle and Ronda Rousey 1/5 vs. Triple H and Stephanie 5/1.
LJ: This seems super obvious as well.  You don’t bring in Ronda Rousey to have her lose her first match especially when it’s at Wrestlemania.  Wait, I feel like I’ve written this before, oh yeah when the WWE brought in Sting and had him lose to Triple H at Wrestlemania for no logical reason.  I’ll say Triple H pitches this backstage which turns the match into a shoot which the Olympians easily win.  Favorites are the pick again.

Joe: See, this is one where I could see an upset. Kurt Angle can take a pin here without any real issues going on. You were just complaining about how undefeated streaks are bad, so let’s not let Rousey get in one. Have her lose her first match and “protect the biz.” I never want to see Triple H or Stephanie win, but they might do it here, especially if Stephanie gets help from The Iconic Duo.

WWE World Championship Match AJ Styles 2/1 vs. Shinsuke Nakamura 2/5
LJ: The dream match, for people who like to watch good wrestling on a wrestling show.  I really hope they give these guys at least 30 minutes to really tear the house down, it should be a hell of a lot of fun.  In my opinion, Styles is the best wrestler/best all around performer in the world.  That being said, he’s had a good title run and it’s time to make Nakamura a main eventer.  The last time he was in the main event he was losing to Jinder Mahal.  They need to wash that stink off and make him a legitimate main event player, and that’s why he will beat Styles at Wrestlemania with a knee to face.

Joe: If Nakamura was still in Japan, he would probably be considered the greatest thing in wrestling. Instead, he has the stink of the WWE on him and some real lackadaisacal performances against mid-tier competition. I do think him and Styles have a pretty epic match here though. Honestly, they could just recreate Nakamura’s debut against Sami Zayn, and I’d be ecstatic. Nakamura wins, because he has no place to go if he doesn’t.

Universal Championship Match Brock Lesnar 4/1 vs. Roman Reigns 1/6
LJ: I mean come on, this is what the entire last year has been about.  This is why not one person has kicked out of the F5 in the past year.  This is why Braun Strowman isn’t the Universal Champ, or even near the match.  It’s all so Roman Reigns can conquer the unconquerable Brock Lesnar and be the champ.  I’ve got some commentary on this match, it will be a hell of a match.  Their first match was awesome before the cash in.  I just hope that the WWE listens to my warnings and doesn’t put this on last.  The worked shoot Brock Lesnar doesn’t show up for work and is going to the UFC angle has worked a lot better than I thought it would, but it’s not going to make Reigns a fan favorite when he wins.  Whoever he defends the title against first is going to be getting the better reactions, so they need to be ready for this.  Don’t let Reigns cut a promo over a minute long, have him beat people up, or just make him a heel.  Book him as such and things will eventually go his way and since they’re insistent on it happening, I can only hope they go about it smartly.

Joe: Little known fact: When you beat The Undertaker at WrestleMania, you absorb his undefeated prowess at WrestleMania. Lesnar has not been pinned or submitted since beating The Deadman and neither has Roman Reigns. This will be the ultimate test. I really like Roman Reigns, so I’m going to pick The Big Dog to take out The Beast.

John Cena ? vs. The Undertaker ?

LJ: So I don’t see any odds for this match, which I guess makes sense because there’s no guarantee it will happen.  In wrestling though, there’s very rarely build up like this with no payoff.  If they fight, and I think it will happen, I think The Undertaker wins.  I’m also very torn on my feelings about this match.  It’s a match I desperately want to see, or wanted to see five years ago when Taker was undefeated at Wrestlemania and Cena barely ever lost.  Also, though Cena’s “desperation” for a Wrestlemania match has been played pretty well, him calling out the 50 something year old Undertaker for not wanting to wrestle any more is a bit off putting.  On the other hand, if this match does happen I absolutely hate the fact that Cena has done all the build for this match.  The Undertaker could have bothered to come back for a segment or two, just like he could have against Bray Wyatt, where if I remember correctly, Wyatt did all the build and Taker showed up at Mania and got the win.

Joe: I’m not sure who the winner of this match will be, but I can tell you who the loser will be, and that’s the fans, because this match will suck ass if it happens. Undertaker’s garbage, don’t @ me.

LJ: I can’t find actual odds for the other matches, just mentions of who the favorite is so I guess we can talk about those.

Joe: I’m going to go rapid fire on my responses, because if Vegas won’t talk about these matches, neither should I.

Intercontinental Championship Match The Miz vs. Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins.
LJ: Balor is apparently the favorite in this match, which is understandable.  The guy should be higher up the card, and should have been ever since his return.  I’ll never understand how someone else injuring you is a negative against the injured.  I’m going against the grain in this match though, and I’m going with The Miz to retain.  Miz retains, Balor and Rollins move up into the actual main event part of the card going forward, and Miz gets to become the longest reigning Intercontinental Champ of all time. 

Joe: I’ll take Seth Rollins, because Davenport, Iowa is the master and the ruler of the world.

Women’s Battle Royal Match:
LJ: Sasha Banks is the heavy favorite and is around even money to win.  She’s a great choice, and is probably the best all around women’s wrestler in the division.  Now that she’s back to heel, where she should be, she should be a lot more watchable.  I have to imagine Bayley is up there too, and a win here would really rebuild her credibility which has taken a beating due to terrible booking.  The only other real possibility I can see if Becky Lynch, who hasn’t been buried like Bayley has, but has really been underused.  Beyond that, I have no idea, maybe one of the Bellas if they’re coming back full time?  Ember Moon?  Rodeo lover Tamina?  It’s really got to be one of the Horsewomen, so I’ll go with my personal favorite Bayley to win it.

Joe: Iconic Duo both win.

Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal:

LJ: This one’s tough because I’m really not sure who’s in it.  In past years there were a few big names in it to choose from, this year everyone is in a 3 or 4 way match so it’s kind of tough to figure out who’s not already in a match who could win.  The names that jump out at me that don’t have a match are Matt and Jeff Hardy, Bray Wyatt, and Elias.  Big Cass and Samoa Joe could be healthy enough for a return, and while the battle royal doesn’t feel like a great use of Joe it could be a good use for Big Cass.  Beyond them, maybe a thank you win for Kane?  Someone in a tag team that could have a bright future ahead of them like Chad Gable?  A re debuting Bobby Lashley?  To make an official pick, I’ll take Elias.  He’s plenty over and way too important to be doing nothing at Wrestlemania.  Let him win the battle royal and sing about it for a year.

Joe: What better way to memorialize Andre The Giant than having his greatest rival, Hulk Hogan, come back to win the Battle Royal. Hulk ain’t taking no bumps, brother.

Raw Tag Team Championship Match The Bar vs. Braun and ???

LJ: Brains Strowman would be pretty awesome, but I don’t think he’s the real pick.  The best options for the pick are the guys who could win the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal.  Could be Elias who has been MIA since a feud with Braun, could be a reborn Bray Wyatt who has history with Strowman.  Could be Big Cass for giant tag team.  Could be Bobby Lashely for some reason or other.  Some NXT guy?  All those choices make a lot more sense than my official choice, James Ellsworth.  It all comes full circle with Ellsworth, he started off being dominated by Braun so he makes his triumphant return as his tag team partner.  Also, Braun and whoever are winning this match because Braun needs to be kept busy and out of the World Title picture while Roman is trying to get over.  Defending the tag team belts is a great way for him to do that.

Joe: Braun Strowman’s partner will be Big Show, and they will win.

US Title Match: Randy Orton vs. Jinder Mahal vs. Bobby Roode vs. Rusev
LJ: I’ve read Jinder is the favorite in this match, so I’m happy to pick against the favorite in this one.  I get the guy is muscular and foreign, but so is Rusev.  Rusev is also charasmatic as all get out and a hell of a worker in the ring.  It’s time for the WWE to actually get behind pushing this future world champion and give Rusev the win on the grandest stage of them all.

Joe: It’s RUSEV DAY!

Smackdown Tag Team Title Match: The Usos vs. The New Day vs. The Bludgeon Brothers
LJ: Couldn’t find any mention of this match so no idea who the favorite is.  I’ll take the Bludgeon Brothers, if they fail here it seems like the tag team is pretty much dead, so if you want to keep Harper and Rowan together they need to win.  Have them feud with The Usos for a few months, should be fun.  Have The New Day move onto pursuing singles gold since Big E is a future world champion.

Joe: New Day Rocks!

Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn
LJ: Well for this story to make any sense, Kevin and Sami have to win since they can’t be fired.  Of course I said that about Shane McMahon beating The Undertaker so that story could continue, and then it just did for no raisin.  In theory, I guess they could go to RAW after Wrestlemania if they lose this match.  This is Daniel Bryan’s first match back in years though, he can’t lose clean.  In a Russoesque twist, I see Shane McMahon costing Daniel Bryan the match allowing Kevin and Sami to win the match and regain their jobs. 

Joe: Owens and Zayn win when Brie Bella costs Daniel Bryan the match. She then says the baby is actually Sami Zayn’s. I also predict Shane McMahon sweats a lot.

LJ: In terms of crazy surprises you can probably bet on somewhere, I think The Rock makes a polite appearance.  In much more surprising news, I think Connor McGregor and Donald Trump make appearances.  Trump possibly via satelite, but maybe in person.  He’s got to get ready to be the XFL commissioner in 2020.  Since we’re in New Orleans, I hope we get a visit from everyone’s favorite Voodoo Doctor Papa Shango.  I’ve saved the best and most shocking surprise for last.  Kid Rock’s performance will be interrupted by WCW legends The No Limit Soldiers.  Master P will do whatever his finishing maneuver was, and the group will lead the crowd in a rousing rendition of Make Em Say Uhhhh.

Joe: Rock, Hogan, Stone Cold, short-haired Shawn Michaels, Scott Hall, and Dan “The Beast” Severn. Oh, and The Iconic Duo.

Sunday, February 25, 2018

2018 Elimination Chamber Predictions

The Road to Wrestlemania goes through the Elimination Chamber.  The question is what’s going to happen and what should happen.

Asuka vs. Nia Jax
Lukewarm Jonah: This isn’t a betting article, but if it was the odds on this would be Asuka an insanely heavy favorite.  Nia Jax isn’t beating Asuka for her undefeated streak, it’s just that simple. 

But what should happen?  I would go super against the grain here and have Nia Jax win.  Nia has become the “monster” who loses every single time anything is really on the line.  Have Nia win, make the Wrestlemania match a 3 way.  Asuka’s streak has to end sometime.  It should have ended in NXT in her first title match against Bayley or against Ember Moon on the way out, but it didn’t.  You can’t be undefeated forever, just rip the band aid off, establish Nia Jax as a real threat, and build the story of Asuka doubting herself going into Wrestlemania, where she can still win the title.

Joe: No way. Asuka’s first loss needs to be a big deal, and it needs to be for the title. You can’t build up this long of a winning streak and have it end in what is essentially a filler match so they have something for Nia to do without her being in the Chamber. 

Men’s Elimination Chamber Match: Roman Reigns vs. The Miz vs. John Cena vs. Braun Strowman vs. Elias vs. Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor
LJ: Well this is another super easy match to pick.  99% chance that Roman Reigns wins the chamber and goes onto face Brock at Wrestlemania.  It’s been the plan forever, and it just continues marching on.  An oddly specific prediction I have for this match is that Reigns pins The Miz since Miz took his Intercontinental Title and technically won that feud, they’re going to have to make sure we know that Reigns is better than the Miz.  Not sure how Braun goes out of this one, but it’s probably either by everyone ganging up on him and hitting all their finishers on him, or my prediction for the Royal Rumble that never came true which was HHH coming back and getting those hands.  My personal prediction is that Strowman is disqualified for eating the chamber.

What should happen?  There’s actually a ton of interesting possibilities here.  Braun Strowman is the most over wrestler in the match and maybe in the WWE right now so having him be the guy to finally beat Brock makes a good amount of sense.  Seth Rollins is still super over and is on his quest to be “The Man” again.  Him winning the Chamber would be a good step towards that, and could lead to a heel turn for Reigns who feels that Rollins has now taken his Wrestlemania moment twice.  Finn Balor is the other guy in the match who could pull off a Wrestlemania main event based on overness.  He has been booked pretty terribly since he came back from his injury after his initial Universal Title win, but has still managed to remain one of the most over acts in the company.  Now he’s reformed the Balor Club, and The Demon vs. The Beast sounds like a fun matchup and looks great on a poster.  Even though Braun is my favorite guy on the roster right now, I’d pull the trigger on Balor.  It’s something no one would see coming and would put Balor right back at the top of the main event scene which is where he belongs.  If you pair off the other guys in matches at Wrestlemania you could have a really stacked card.  Rollins vs. Reigns, Braun vs. Cena, Miz vs. Elias, that’s three great matches plus the Universal Title match. 

What Roman losing losing would really do is provide a truly shocking moment for the WWE fans.  The WWE has become pretty predictable in the past few years and giving the people a true shocking moment before Wrestlemania could help build interest back up and also get the people behind Reigns more.  He can still be in a high profile Wrestlemania match with Rollins or Balor or Cena, but removing him from his assumed spot of the main event against Brock would build up some good will towards him. 

Joe: I know I’m thinking too much about this, but WWE has actually given me reason to believe that someone outside of Roman Reigns could win this thing. Like, this is 100% the time to pull the trigger on Braun Strowman to take on Lesnar at WrestleMania. They have unfinished business, and there would be nothing better than Strowman pulling a Brock and just destroying him in three minutes to take the title. 

Then you have Seth Rollins who, outside of the Golden Lovers, is the hottest thing in wrestling this week. How sad is it that the WWE does such a great job of making us forget how talented their roster is at wrestling? I mean, is Kenny Omega definitively better than Seth Rollins? I don’t think so, yet you would not have considered Rollins even in the discussion for best wrestler in the world right now before this week. He’s super good at this stuff, and they have actually given him a compelling storyline going into the match. He is definitely the guy that could get the best match out of Lesnar. 

And then there’s Reigns who still has to be considered the favorite, but you CANNOT end WrestleMania with Reigns going over. It would make everyone forget all the positive things that happened on the previous 17 hours of WrestleMania. And if this isn’t the main event, what is? It ain’t Nakamura/Styles, and if it’s Undertaker/Cena....well, I probably just won’t watch the main event. That’s actually a fairly simple solution. But I don’t know how WWE handles the card if Reigns wins.

So my actual prediction? This one is so easy and obvious. They have already made it the first seven-man Chamber, so let’s just bump it up to eight, Triple H comes out, lines everyone up as a human centipede, Pedigrees them all at once, wins and taps out Lesnar at Mania. Everyone goes home happy, because Triple H is the coolest, best wrestling, super coolest, badass, extremely coolest, best crotch-chopping middle-aged man in pro wrestling history.

A part of me could see the above happening, which definitely makes me slightly ill to my stomach.

Women’s Chamber Match: Alexa Bliss (C) vs. Mickie James vs. Bayley vs. Mandy Rose vs. Sasha Banks vs. Sonya Deville
LJ: Alexa Bliss deals with sexism by having to defend the title in the Elimination Chamber unlike Brock Lesnar.  In all fairness, the last title defense I can find for Bliss was at TLC which was in October, so she is 4 months overdue for a title defense.  Anyways, the build to this match has been everyone pairing off to work together in the chamber.  Mandy and Sonya, Bayley and Sasha and the shaky alliance between Bliss and James.  This is the event where Sasha will officially turn heel and stab Bayley in the back.  I hope that Rose and Deville are put over as actual threats so that the women’s division gets deeper.  But Alexa Bliss is the pick here to retain.  Bliss retains and Asuka faces the evil heel at Wrestlemania.  The real question is how does Bliss retain?  My prediction is her mixed match tag partner Braun Strowman comes out and tips over the Elimination Chamber.  This confusion lets Bliss roll everyone up, and the world’s cutest onscreen couple continues rolling.

What should happen?  Bliss winning isn’t a bad match choice, the only other people in this match capable of defending the title at Wrestlemania against Asuka are Sasha Banks and Bayley.  Bayley is female Sting so Sasha will turn on her during this match, so it’s really down to Banks or Bliss.  A fully heel Boss Sasha Banks vs. Asuka at Wrestlemania is more interesting to me than Bliss vs. Asuka, especially since that match happened on Raw a month or two ago.  You could even use the time between the Chamber and Wrestlemania to build Bayley back to the wrestler she should be and find a reason to add her in to the match. 

Joe: So I think Sasha should win, and she should definitely do something underhanded to Bayley, but the problem is, who cares? If Sasha turns on Bayley, they aren’t going to be booing Sasha for that. It’s going to get her a huge pop. Bad guys are always best in numbers, so the most awesome way to turn Sasha heel is to have the Iconic Duo, Billie Kay and Peyton Royce to come out and help Sasha win the match. They’d still probably pop for the moment (at least I would), but they could easily establish themselves as heels against Asuka going into WrestleMania, and with Sasha having cronies, it adds to the possibility that she could end Asuka’s streak. God damn, I’m impressed with myself for coming up with that awesome of an idea.

The Main Event of Elimination Chamber
Joe: I can’t believe Jonah forgot the main event, but I’ll take this last one solo. Ronda Rousey will defeat a piece of paper in a “Sign Your Oppponent With a Pen” match. There will be hemming, there will be hawing, and it might just turn into an old-fashioned donnybrook, but I still say Rousey gets her first win in years in this match. Congratulations, Rowdy.