The WWE Is Ruining... Ali

Let's start out with the positive. There is some good with how they have handled Ali. They finally brought someone from 205 Live to the main shows and actually gave him a push which was incredibly well received. It makes sense since Ali has just about everything you would want in a superstar. A good look, charisma, and some pretty incredible moves. The only thing that he is lacking is size, but he isn't so small that it puts a ceiling on his success.

Unfortunately for Ali, he got hurt at the wrong time, and momentum for Kofi Kingston took over, and he's had to mostly take a backseat since then. If he didn't get distracted by music, he could have won the Money In The Bank ladder match, but unfortunately, he heard Brock Lesnar's music and forgot that he was about five seconds away from winning the match, and Brock, although a physical freak, probably couldn't stop him in time.

So now he's in limbo, like most of the WWE roster. He's not really going for a title, not really getting wins, and just kind of existing to get RKO'd outta nowhere. If you want to exploit that he used to be a police officer, you could make him a Blue Lives Matter character, and I'm guessing that gets more cheers than boos, even though it may be the dumbest character in wrestling history.

Instead, all WWE really needs to do is lean in to the fact that this guy is a natural underdog babyface and put him up against monsters. Really, he should be treated like Rey Mysterio in that he is always an underdog at first glance but somehow can overcome the odds. He can feud against any bruiser. Samoa Joe is perfect for the role, and since Lars Sullivan just randomly lurks everywhere you turn, even if Ali couldn't give him his first loss, he could be the guy to test his limits.

I actually have faith in WWE to handle him well as they have already shown an interest in actually putting in the work for Ali. I know having faith in the WWE is a fool's errand, but they do occasionally get things right, so let's hope they can get Ali back on track.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Alicia Fox
Andrade "Cien" Almas
Apollo Crews
Bayley
Big E
Big Show
Bo Dallas
Bobby Lashley
Bobby Roode
Braun Strowman
Brock Lesnar
Carmella
Chad Gable

Charlotte Flair
Curt Hawkins
Curtis Axel

Dana Brooke
Dash Wilder
Ember Moon
Epico

Goldust
Gran Metalik

Jey Uso
Jimmy Uso
Jinder Mahal
Kane
Karl Anderson

Kevin Owens
Killian Dain
Kofi Kingston
Konnor

Luke Gallows
Mickie James
Mojo Rawley

Natalya
Nia Jax

No Way Jose
Peyton Royce
Primo

Randy Orton

Ruby Riott

Rusev
Scott Dawson
Shane McMahon
Sheamus

Shinsuke Nakamura
Tyler Breeze

Viktor

Zack Ryder 

The WWE Is Ruining... Kofi Kingston

As a pro wrestling fan, it is a part of our identity to always know how to utilize wrestlers better than the WWE. If WWE would just give me, random WWE fan, a job a the company, ratings would immediately rise to the levels of the Monday Night Wars, despite how television ratings have changed as a whole over the last 20 years. But until that happens, WWE will continue ruining our favorite wrestlers, and that is why it is time to point out the error in their ways. Because of WWE's incompetence, I am literally going to pick a wrestler at random and point out how they could be better utilized, because WWE is ruining everyone in one way or another.

Hey mon, today, we look at the greatest Jamaican wrestler to ever abruptly lose his accent and become an American, Kofi Kingston, man.

One way that I like to look at these wrestlers is to imagine them in another organization and all of the amazing things that they could be doing in ROH, New Japan, etc. What would so-and-so do if they were a free agent? It's a fun exercise that is ultimately pointless, because the guy is still in the WWE. And yeah, there are plenty of exciting matches for Kofi in other organizations, but I don't really see him lighting the world on fire on the indies. Honestly, I think Kofi is a guy that is made for the WWE. This isn't a knock; in fact, it's a compliment, as very few can do their best in the biggest organization in the world. There are plenty of guys that have been or currently are in the WWE who have taken major steps back in their popularity; that's basically the whole reason I started writing this series. But Kofi seems to belong in the WWE structure.

The New Day may not be maximizing Kofi Kingston to his full potential, but if not, it's coming pretty damn close. I mean, The New Day has been together for four years, and they still manage to keep it fresh. Do some of their jokes fall flat? Of course, but their hit rate is exceptional, and I think more highly of each and every one of their members from their days before starting the faction. Kofi was always a guy that I saw as fine. He could do some cool jumpy stuff but never showed much personality, and now he's got the cool jumpy stuff but is also highly entertaining.

Really, what more would you want out of Kofi Kingston? Sure, he could be interesting as a singles competitor, but New Day is sticking together, and if somebody went the singles route, I wouldn't take Kofi as my top choice.

But really, Kofi is a highly effective tag wrestler who is putting on great matches while being entertaining outside of the ring.

So how is the WWE ruining Kofi Kingston? I kept trying to come up with something, but the simplest answer is that the WWE is not ruining Kofi Kingston. They are actually doing a great job and Kofi Kingston is his most awesome inside the WWE. That's a rarity, but let's celebrate. Great job, Kofi, and great job, WWE.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Bobby Lashley
Charlotte Flair
Dana Brooke
Dash Wilder
Kane
Mickie James
Nia Jax
Peyton Royce
Scott Dawson
Tyler Breeze

The 10 Best Things In The WWE: May 2016

Since it's Memorial Day, we're going minimal for the May WWE Rankings. Just list it out so everybody can get back to their BBQ.

10. New Day
9. Dana Brooke
8. Enzo and Big Cass
7. Seth Rollins
6. Roman Reigns
5. AJ Styles
4. The Miz
3. Kevin Owens
2. Sami Zayn
1. Cesaro

I put approximately 45 seconds of thinking into these rankings, so they are undeniable.

The 10 Best Things in the WWE: March 2016

This is all about positive, but just three months in, and the WWE is definitely challenging my patience. Absolutely nothing has happened in this last month, and still, I find myself incredibly excited for WrestleMania. They pull out all the stops for Mania, and when I look at the card, I do see great potential for every match on the card. I mean, even Ryback/Kalisto could be a lot of fun. For a reminder, here's how February looked, but now it's time to look at what happened in March.

1. Kevin Owens (Last Month: 4)
Owens worst nights are good, but man, when he is on, it is truly some incredible stuff he is pulling out. He's able to get good matches out of anybody, and his plan of having a triple threat of jobbers to get a shot at the Intercontinental Title was wonderful. Also, it brings up his poor history in ladder matches, as that is how he lost to Finn Balor for the NXT Championship. But this 7-way ladder match has me excited for everybody in this match (except for Sin Cara), and it's my pick for match of the night for WrestleMania.

2. Triple H (Last Month: Unranked)
I am a giant Triple H hater, you could even call me a HHHater, if you were so inclined. Still, he's had an important month. He took out Roman Reigns, had a nice feud with Dean Ambrose that ended in a really entertaining match. He had another entertaining match with Dolph Ziggler, and he's taken some Roman Reigns beatdowns along the way. Triple H has become a far more entertaining in-ring performer since he retired, and it's why I actually think the main event will be good, although I definitely think there are going to be some hijinks involved.

3. Dean Ambrose (Last Month: 7)
Ambrose has been on fire these last few months, and even though I have been down on him in the past, he's starting to make a believer out of me. He had a fun two-week feud with Triple H that further developed his character, not as a crazy person, but just as a tough dude who doesn't care about how much of a beating he's going to take. That sets up nicely for his feud with Brock Lesnar, where it is a street fight, and that actually adds a chance that he could beat Lesnar, especially as he has gotten help from hardcore legends the last few weeks. The only downside this month was his match with Braun Strowman, which was..not good.

4. Jonathan Coachman (Last Month: Unranked)
I am one of the world's biggest Coach marks. In fact, if you factor in my love for the 1990s sitcom starring Craig T. Nelson and Damon Wayans Jr.'s character on New Girl, I may be the biggest Coach mark. So yes, I was very excited to see Coach back on Raw, and yes, I also considered putting him at the top of this list, so consider putting him at 4 as me showing restraint.

5. The New Day (Last Month: 2)
I feel like the reason the New Day is this low is not that they have taken a step back, but our expectations have taken a step forward. There are rumblings of people getting tired of them, and I am not there yet. I still sit up and pay attention when they are doing something, but a 3 vs. 4 feud that doesn't seem to have any point outside of New Day becoming good guys just doesn't excite me in any way. And although it seems like it was months ago, I'm pretty sure they had their tag match against Jericho and Styles in the last month, and that was probably the best match this past month. New Day still rocks; their current feud though? Not so much.

6. Chris Jericho (Last Month: Unranked)
I am so happy that I can actually put Jericho on this list. I was a huge mark for Jericho growing up, but he has seemed to get less and less appealing every time he comes back. This most recent time he has found a good niche, and he's showing why he was so good for so long. The guy can still put on good matches, but with great character work, he can still be one of the most valuable assets the WWE has, even in a part-time role.

7. AJ Styles (Last Month: Unranked)
AJ Styles has been in a ton of good matches this month, and he's made a seamless transition to the WWE roster. Even though I'm enjoying this new version of Jericho, you already know that Styles has to win the feud, because Jericho is likely gone shortly after Mania. We'll see if he can take a step forward and get in a more prominent feud after that.

8. Sami Zayn (Last Month: Unranked)
I have made no secret of my love for Sami Zayn, but I still can't put him any higher than this for the month. I'm excited for what's going to happen, but I'm not necessarily excited with what has happened. Although Sami got a taste on Monday, so far he has just been chasing down Kevin Owens. Next month is when he likely catches him, and that's what I'm excited about.

9. Charlotte (Last Month: 8)
She has had some really good matches this past month, even having a really fun match with Natalya, someone who I usually do not care about at all. The thing that hurts the Divas division is that they have just drug things out and made them unnecessarily complicated. It's kind of the same thing everywhere, as they have to announce matches early enough to hype them for WrestleMania, but they struggle to keep things interesting in the weeks between the announcement and the match actually happening.

10. Shane McMahon (Last Month: 5) 
Makes the list for dropping that elbow on The Undertaker on Monday night. I'm still not really looking forward to the match, but I'm not dreading it as much as I thought I would be. That's a little thing called progress.

The 10 Best Things in the WWE: January 2016

I am 31 years old; I still watch pro wrestling. This is never a point in my favor, but I'm basically an addict at this point. It's not always good; in fact, it's usually not all that good, but when it is good, it can be one of the greatest things produces on television, and that's what I keep holding on to. Still, most of it sucks, but it's easy to focus in the negative; instead, I want to focus on the positive, so here are the ten best things in the WWE this past month (Note: I will only focus on the main roster, as nearly everything about NXT is great).

1. The New Day 

No self-respecting list could start with anything but The New Day. They're amazing. Just hearing them do their intro immediately puts a giant smile on my face, as I know I am about to feel real emotions and true love for a part of the WWE product. They have shown that they can hold their own with any wrestler that has ever been on the roster on the mic, and their work speaking should not overshadow their work in the ring, as Kofi and Big E complement each other incredibly well. I never thought I would be a huge Xavier Woods fan, but I am a huge Xavier Woods fan as the man has learned his niche and is incredibly entertaining without being totally distracting. New...Day Rocks.

2. Sasha Banks  

Just seeing Sasha Banks start walking out at the Royal Rumble overfilled my heart with joy. Sasha is the best female wrestler they have, and even though the talent has increased a ton with the Divas Revolution, it's still not all that close. She compels the crowd to the point that anytime there is a Divas match without Banks, everyone is wondering, "Where's Sasha?" She's got a lot going on right now as she's taking on Becky, wants to challenge Charlotte and is creating a riff between herself and Team BAD. The good news is that we won't have to wonder where Sasha is for the foreseeable future.

3. Rusev 

This is a man who speaks multiple languages, but did he learn these skills with an easy upbringing? No, he had to throw kids off the school bus, so there was enough room for him so he could go to school and learn. If you can get past the fact that he has an accent, you will learn that he is maybe the second most creative speaker in the entire company. He is my hero; he is your hero; he is even Putin's hero. All hail Rusev.

4. Kevin Owens 

He is consistently entertaining in and out of the ring, which makes him a rarity in the WWE right now. He's proof that a guy who is successful in a variety of organizations all over the country can also find success in the WWE. He hadn't debuted in NXT at this point last year, and now he is probably the likely opponent for Undertaker at WrestleMania, and is totally deserving of that opportunity.

5. The Social Outcasts 

This is mostly due to Bo Rida, who spit hot rhymes at Flo Rida and basically destroyed him in a rap battle that was designed for Bo to lose, but he BOlieved, and it was phenomenal. But at least they are doing something with those guys, and because they don't matter, they have freedom to do absolutely anything, which gives them more room to do something that truly stands out.

6. Roman Reigns 

I know everybody wants to shit on Roman Reigns, because. DURR the WWE can't tell me who to like, but just disliking the guys that WWE wants to push to prove how smart you are isn't all that productive either. Is he entertaining on the mic? No, not really, but he has been putting on good matches for a while, and objectively, he is pretty cool. He's a freakin' Samoan in SWAT gear. That's cool.

7. Dean Ambrose 

I am what you would call a Dean Ambrose hater, but that match at Royal Rumble was awesome, and that alone can put him on this list. Ambrose is not a guy who is made to appeal to me, but I can still understand some of the appeal, and he's fine, just not one of my favorites.

8. Dolph Ziggler 

He's still good in the ring, but it's tough to get too excited for him when you know that nothing that he is going to do will matter AT ALL. 

9. Ric and Charlotte Flair 

It's not the best Ric Flair. Hell, it's not the best Charlotte Flair, but I'm still interested when they're on TV, and that is way more than I can say for most of the Divas division. Becky Lynch does deserve some credit here, but not quite enough to include a third Diva in the Top 10.

10. Sami Zayn 

Yeah, this is kind of cheating, but he did make one appearance, so that does make him eligible. His one appearance was fun where they reminded everyone that Zayn and Owens still hate each other, but I doubt we will be seeing him on these rankings again anytime soon. 

These rankings are absolutely subjective, so feel free to let me know what I got wrong in the comments.

2016 Royal Rumble Predictions With Betting Odds

It's that special time of the year where Hott Joe and Lukewarm Jonah come together to write about the Royal Rumble betting odds. Do you want to win the big money? Do you want to make the Powerball winners look more like people who can only afford TV Dinners? Well, then I have just the breakdown for you. Take it away, Jonah.

Jonah: If there’s one complaint I hear the most it’s that there aren’t enough articles about betting on a predetermined event.  Also, I just really, really love talking about wrestling.  So with that in mind it’s time for the Royal Rumble betting odds article. Here are the odds for the big match. 

Royal Rumble Winner:

Triple H: +105

Roman Reigns: +225

Brock Lesnar: +250

Rusev: +1400

Dean Ambrose: +1800

Daniel Bryan: +1800

The Rock: +1800

Kevin Owens: +2000

The Undertaker: +2000

Ryback: +2500

Bray Wyatt: +2500

Big Show: +2500

AJ Styles: +3300

Sheamus: +3300

Shinsuke Nakamura: +3500

Braun Strowman: +3500

Cesaro: +3500

Dolph Ziggler: +4000

Randy Orton: +4000

Finn Balor: +5000

Big E: +6600

Kane: +6600

King Barrett: +6600

Neville: +6600

Titus O’Neil: +8000

Alex Riley: +10000

Bo Dallas: +10000

Curtis Axel: +10000

Damien Sandow: +10000

Darren Young: +10000

Erick Rowan: +10000

Fandango: +10000

Goldust: +10000

Heath Slater: +10000

Kofi Kingston: +10000

Luke Harper: +10000

Mark Henry: +10000

R-Truth: +10000

Stardust: +10000

The Miz: +10000

Tyson Kidd: +10000

Vince or Shane McMahon: +10000

Zack Ryder: +10000

Adam Rose: +15000

Fernando: +15000

El Torito: +15000

Stone Cold: +20000

Jonah: Hott Joe and I already discussed this a lot on the phone, but Triple H was my initial pick for Rumble winner.  We haven’t seen him in a very long time and the last time we saw him he got his ass handed to him by Roman.  Also, we have to consider how HHH books himself; as the greatest of all time.  If he wins then I’m sure Roman will get the shot at Wrestlemania and HHH will probably put him over there, but is that really how you want to book your top star?  After our conversation I thought about it a little longer, and after seeing the odds I’m betting on Roman to retain.  I think the possibility of either him or HHH winning is 50/50 and Roman is giving better than 2/1 on your money.  Roman losing the title here means he probably wins it back at Wrestlemania.  Because of the Sheamus cash in that will already make him a 3 time World Heavyweight Champion in the course of a few months.  What is this, Russo booked WCW?  Smark burn.  You don’t want to devalue your belt or the champion by hotshotting it too much.  Also, I don’t give Lesnar a shot since he’s now feuding with the Wyatts, they’ll probably come in after they’ve all been eliminated and cheaply eliminate him.  

Joe: Christ. Triple H is favored to win this thing? You have GOT to be kidding me. At first, I thought that the crowd would be too upset to let this happen, but then I remembered that it is in Orlando, home of NXT and the WWE Performance Center, which means that if Triple H is getting cheered anywhere, it would probably be down there. There is also a strong rumor that next year’s WrestleMania will be held there, and if he made that announcement earlier in the show, well, hell, I might cheer for him then, because that is a two-hour drive I would definitely be making in 2017. But I’m not ready to pick any of the three favorites.

Jonah: So Reigns is my betting pick, but I feel like talking about wrestling some more so I’m going to go over some of my favorite long shot picks.  

Daniel Bryan at 18/1.  Still the most over guy in the company.  If he returns, he has to win or else you’ll have the third Rumble in a row that has the crowd shitting all over it.  The question is, does he return?  It’s a long shot, but like I said, if he’s there, he’s almost got to win it, either that or the WWE are very slow learners.

Joe: Bingo, bango, here’s my pick to be the winner. I don’t think it is unfathomable to think that the WWE and Daniel Bryan may be lying about Daniel Bryan’s ability to wrestle. I think they have been saving him for this moment, so the crowd can lose their shit and he can be triumphant in his return. I’m not even the biggest Daniel Bryan fan, but if they are serious about Lesnar going up against Bray Wyatt, eh, might as well make it Daniel Bryan vs. Cesaro as the Main Event of WrestleMania. Jonah, what else you got?

Jonah: Dean Ambrose at 18/1 is pretty awesome odds.  They could build a storyline for Wrestlemania that would do big business with Dean and Roman facing off.  Two brothers, one possibly turning heel, going against each other.  The story writes itself and he’s got a hell of a better chance of winning then say Rusev who has better odds.

Joe: I definitely agree that he has better odds than Rusev, but that doesn’t mean that this would make a good WrestleMania Main Event. I am what you would call a Dean Ambrose “hater” in that I do not really care about him. It doesn’t mean I don’t like him, but if you give me a choice between seeing Dean Ambrose or Heath Slater, I’m taking Heath Slater. I would put him on about the same level as Curtis Axel. They’re not my favorites, but they’re fine.

Jonah: How about AJ Styles at 33/1?  His debut is going to be a huge deal.  I love the guy, he can go like hell in the ring, and has really developed as a character over the years.  It’s a super long shot that he comes in and wins the belt immediately, but what better way to make new stars than have him and at least one or two Bullet Club members come in, wreck shit, and have their guy as champ.  It’s a bold strategy, but the WWE needs to be bold with falling ratings and massive injuries.

Joe: Having AJ Styles debut in Orlando (or anywhere in the state of Florida) is asking for a huge disappointment. Florida would pop bigger for Marty Jannetty than they would for AJ Styles (not that there’s anything wrong with that). He needs to debut in the northeast or Chicago where the “hardcore” fans are, so they will actually care about him debuting. 

Jonah: Here’s one I know you’re going to love: Big E at 66/1.  The New Day is without a doubt the most entertaining part of every RAW.  They’re super over and really people love them even though they’re technically heels.  Big E not only has a phenomenal look, but is charismatic as hell and puts on good matches.  Sounds like a combination for a main event push, but what do I know?

Joe: Well, full disclosure, we talked earlier this week, and I was asked who I would want to see win who had a realistic shot (sorry Cesaro, Seth Rollins, and Hulk Hogan who are either too injured or too racist), and my response was Big E. He’s a Hawkeye; I’m a Hawkeye, and I may have stolen girls from him on the dance floor of The Field House in Iowa City (there is no way to confirm or deny this). So yes, I’m hoping that Big E shocks the world and becomes the WWE World Heavyweight Champion.

Jonah: My last one is Kofi Kingston at 100/1.  See above about New Day, and add in the fact that he’s been Intercontinental Champ numerous times and has shown that he can hang in main event feuds as he did with Orton back in the day.

Joe: Not all that interested in a Kofi Renaissance; I feel like he’s right where he needs to be at this moment. However, I do have some picks that didn’t make the betting board. Since they aren’t even on the board, you should be able to get them for +20000.

Random NXT Superstar – My money is on this being Samoa Joe, but there’s a lot of angles they could go with this. Still, a fellow Samoan coming out to help out Roman Reigns, only to turn on him in the end isn’t the worst angle that they’ve ever come up with. This won’t happen, but I wouldn’t be mad at it. Also, Sami Zayn is probably the second most likely guy to show up. He’s kind of new Daniel Bryan in that it’s impossible not to cheer for him, but he has to remain an underdog for years before he can make it to the top, so winning as a surprise Rumble entrant probably isn’t in the cards.

Batista – Are you telling me they wouldn’t let Batista win another one? They don’t care if you hate Batista; Batista must win. Bonus points if he gets eliminated early and comes out as Bluetista later on.

Finally, I thought about how they could get the crowd excited for an unexpected winner. Like, who would this Orlando crowd go crazy for? And then it hit me. There is one figure that is more beloved in Orlando than any figure in that awful city’s history. It ain’t Walt Disney, it ain’t Mickey Mouse. Oh no, it’s somebody who is universally loved and revered. 

That’s right. My surprise pick to win the Royal Rumble at 100000000 to 1 odds is Lil’ Penny.