WWE Is Ruining... Xavier Woods

It’s gonna be a short one today. I’m not sure if the WWE did a great job with The New Day or The New Day did a great job with the WWE (I lean towards the latter), but either way, it has been a smashing success for years.

Xavier Woods did suffer a serious achilles injury that he is still recovering from so there isn’t a whole lot he can do on the main shows, but he’s still staying active with his YouTube gaming show and their new podcast, so he’s doing a good job of staying relevant even while he’s off of television.

Ultimately, him getting healthy and rejoining The New Day is all you can really ask for. Those guys have made the WWE system work for them, and Xavier Woods has probably done it better than anyone. Good for him, and good for the WWE.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Aiden English
AJ Styles

Akam
Aleister Black

Ali
Alicia Fox
Andrade "Cien" Almas
Angelo Dawkins
Apollo Crews
Baron Corbin

Bayley
Big E
Big Show
Bo Dallas
Bobby Lashley
Bobby Roode
Braun Strowman
Bray Wyatt

Brock Lesnar
Buddy Murphy
Carmella
Cesaro
Chad Gable

Charlotte Flair
Curt Hawkins
Curtis Axel

Dana Brooke
Dash Wilder
Drew McIntyre

EC3

Elias

Ember Moon
Epico

Eric Young
Erick Rowan

Erik

Finn Balor

Goldust
Gran Metalik

Humberto Carrillo

Ivar

Jeff Hardy

Jey Uso
Jimmy Uso
Jinder Mahal
Kairi Sane

Kane
Karl Anderson

Kevin Owens
Killian Dain
Kofi Kingston
Konnor

Lacey Evans

Lana

Lio Rush

Liv Morgan
Luke Gallows
Luke Harper

Maria Kanellis

Matt Hardy

Mickie James
Miz

Mojo Rawley

Montez Ford
Naomi

Natalya
Nia Jax

Nikki Cross

No Way Jose
Otis Dozovic

Peyton Royce
Primo

R-Truth

Randy Orton

Rey Mysterio

Rezar

Ricochet

Roman Reigns

Ronda Rousey

Ruby Riott

Rusev
Samoa Joe

Sarah Logan

Scott Dawson
Shane McMahon
Sheamus

Shelton Benjamin

Shinsuke Nakamura
Sonya Deville

Tamina

Titus O'Neil

Tucker Knight

Tyler Breeze

Viktor

Xavier Woods

Zack Ryder

Zelina Vega

The WWE Is Ruining... Big E

As a pro wrestling fan, it is a part of our identity to always know how to utilize wrestlers better than the WWE. If WWE would just give me, random WWE fan, a job a the company, ratings would immediately rise to the levels of the Monday Night Wars, despite how television ratings have changed as a whole over the last 20 years. But until that happens, WWE will continue ruining our favorite wrestlers, and that is why it is time to point out the error in their ways. Because of WWE's incompetence, I am literally going to pick a wrestler at random and point out how they could be better utilized, because WWE is ruining everyone in one way or another.

Today, we look at someone near and dear to my heart, the only former Iowa Hawkeye in the WWE, Big E Langston.

Big E made a big name for himself in NXT before winning the NXT Title by bringing back an old favorite from King Kong Bundy and demanding five counts when pinning his overmatched opponents. Him chanting "FIVE" was incredibly over, so when he got called up to the main roster, it was immediately dropped.

It still started off fairly well as he was the muscle behind Dolph Ziggler and AJ Lee. But once they broke up, his momentum faded and he was kind of stuck in no man's land.

Then came The New Day. People kind of forget how hated The New Day was at first, but even though the gimmick of positivity being shoved down your throat can be grating, these guys portrayed the gimmick so hard that nobody could deny how much fun it was. The gimmick has basically been the same for over four years, and they have managed to still keep things fresh with pure creativity. It would seem like the WWE could not manage to better utilize Big E than in his role with The New Day.

But I think he can do more. Now I do think that he should keep his affiliation with The New Day. Honestly, I think the WWE could learn something from New Japan by having guys have friends even if they are not constantly tagging with them as opposed to randomly pairing up tag teams as they drag out feuds, they could have tag team partners that actually make sense. So keep Big E with New Day, but let him finally have a singles run.

Big E has the size, charisma, and in-ring ability to be at the top of the company. The guy can go, and him having singles matches with the likes of AJ Styles, Andrade, or Daniel Bryan is a pretty damn exciting idea. And honestly, that last option has me incredibly pumped. What better way to combat The New face of negativity (but ultimately 100% CORRECT about the world), Daniel Bryan, taking on the personification of positivity, Big E in a war of ideologies.

I'm not saying he should win the title right away, but that is the sort of feud that gets people looking at Big E differently where down the line he is seen as more than capable of leading a company.

The Iowa Hawkeyes are known for their wrestling prowess. They've had plenty of National Champions, some World Champions, and even some Olympic Champions, but it is time for them to go for the greatest belt of all, the WWE Championship. Big E is the man to bring it home.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Alicia Fox
Andrade "Cien" Almas
Apollo Crews
Bayley
Bobby Lashley
Bobby Roode
Charlotte Flair
Curt Hawkins
Dana Brooke
Dash Wilder
Ember Moon
Goldust
Jey Uso
Jimmy Uso
Jinder Mahal
Kane
Karl Anderson
Killian Dain
Kofi Kingston
Luke Gallows
Mickie James
Mojo Rawley
Nia Jax
Peyton Royce
Randy Orton
Scott Dawson
Shinsuke Nakamura
Tyler Breeze
Zack Ryder

The WWE Is Ruining... Kofi Kingston

As a pro wrestling fan, it is a part of our identity to always know how to utilize wrestlers better than the WWE. If WWE would just give me, random WWE fan, a job a the company, ratings would immediately rise to the levels of the Monday Night Wars, despite how television ratings have changed as a whole over the last 20 years. But until that happens, WWE will continue ruining our favorite wrestlers, and that is why it is time to point out the error in their ways. Because of WWE's incompetence, I am literally going to pick a wrestler at random and point out how they could be better utilized, because WWE is ruining everyone in one way or another.

Hey mon, today, we look at the greatest Jamaican wrestler to ever abruptly lose his accent and become an American, Kofi Kingston, man.

One way that I like to look at these wrestlers is to imagine them in another organization and all of the amazing things that they could be doing in ROH, New Japan, etc. What would so-and-so do if they were a free agent? It's a fun exercise that is ultimately pointless, because the guy is still in the WWE. And yeah, there are plenty of exciting matches for Kofi in other organizations, but I don't really see him lighting the world on fire on the indies. Honestly, I think Kofi is a guy that is made for the WWE. This isn't a knock; in fact, it's a compliment, as very few can do their best in the biggest organization in the world. There are plenty of guys that have been or currently are in the WWE who have taken major steps back in their popularity; that's basically the whole reason I started writing this series. But Kofi seems to belong in the WWE structure.

The New Day may not be maximizing Kofi Kingston to his full potential, but if not, it's coming pretty damn close. I mean, The New Day has been together for four years, and they still manage to keep it fresh. Do some of their jokes fall flat? Of course, but their hit rate is exceptional, and I think more highly of each and every one of their members from their days before starting the faction. Kofi was always a guy that I saw as fine. He could do some cool jumpy stuff but never showed much personality, and now he's got the cool jumpy stuff but is also highly entertaining.

Really, what more would you want out of Kofi Kingston? Sure, he could be interesting as a singles competitor, but New Day is sticking together, and if somebody went the singles route, I wouldn't take Kofi as my top choice.

But really, Kofi is a highly effective tag wrestler who is putting on great matches while being entertaining outside of the ring.

So how is the WWE ruining Kofi Kingston? I kept trying to come up with something, but the simplest answer is that the WWE is not ruining Kofi Kingston. They are actually doing a great job and Kofi Kingston is his most awesome inside the WWE. That's a rarity, but let's celebrate. Great job, Kofi, and great job, WWE.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Bobby Lashley
Charlotte Flair
Dana Brooke
Dash Wilder
Kane
Mickie James
Nia Jax
Peyton Royce
Scott Dawson
Tyler Breeze

Who Won the WWE's Superstar Shakeup?

Pro wrestling is still real to me, damnit. So I wanted to look at all of the Superstar Shakeups to see the reasoning that each show would have to make these moves. I matched up guys in the most logical sense, and then ranked these trades from least to most important, marking a winner for each trade. There were basically nine trades, so the least important will receive one point, and the most important receiving nine points to see whether Daniel Bryan or Kurt Angle (who might be kayfabe racist, but we’ll get to that later) is the superior general manager of their show.

9. Raw trades Jinder Mahal to Smackdown for Curt Hawkins
Kayfabe Logic: Here is how I imagine this conversation went.
Side A: I will literally trade this guy for anybody on your roster.
Side B: Anybody?

And so it was written, the jobbers switched shows to lose to different guys.

Raw Motivation: They get rid of Jinder Mahal.

Smackdown Motivation: They get rid of Curt Hawkins.

Winner: Raw, although maybe Smackdown if Jinder Mahal shares his fitness tips with the rest of the roster. (Raw leads 1-0)

8. Raw trades Tamina to Smackdown for Mickie James
Kayfabe Logic: Neither of these ladies were able to make it to the top in limited opportunities, let’s switch it up and see what they can do.

Raw Motivation: Kurt Angle’s been gone for a really long time. This may be the only women’s wrestler that he recognizes. He may have initially tried to trade for Trish Stratus, something that I endorse 100%.

Smackdown Motivation: I guess Daniel Bryan wanted more size on his women’s roster.

Winner: Raw (Raw leads 3-0)

7. Raw trades The Shining Stars to Smackdown for Rhyno and Heath Slater
Kayfabe Logic: Rhyno and Heath Slater have fallen off the map recently, which is something you never have to worry about the Shining Stars, because you can always find them in Puerto Rico.

Raw Motivation: Rhyno and Heath Slater were over for a very short period of time. Will it happen again? Probably not, but being over once is more than The Shining Stars can say.

Smackdown Motivation: Daniel Bryan is interested in a timeshare in Puerto Rico? Daniel Bryan had already traded for Jinder Mahal and knew that he had to get rid of Heath Slater, so he could avoid 3MB chants when Drew McIntyre gets called up? Those are my two best explanations.

Winner: Raw (Raw leads 6-0)

6. Raw trades Sin Cara to Smackdown for Kalisto
Kayfabe Logic: Raw wanted to boost their Cruiserweight division, and since Smackdown doesn’t have one of those, it made sense to get a bigger guy who also fills their affirmative action of guy in a mask.

Raw Motivation: Yeah, basically boost up the cruisers, because this is where Kalisto should have been the entire time.

Smackdown Motivation: Um, Kalisto framed Daniel Bryan?

Winner: Raw (Raw leads 10-0)

5. Raw trades Sami Zayn to Smackdown for Apollo Crews
Kayfabe Logic: Two tremendous wrestling talents that can’t seem to find a way to win on their current show, so it’s a challenge trade to see if either guy can reach their potential on a different night of the week.

Raw Motivation: Kurt Angle went from a guy in Zayn who talks too much to a guy in Crews who has never said anything memorable. Also, not sure if you noticed this, but this is the first white person that Kurt Angle has traded, and even Zayn is a Canadian. Actually, looking through the roster, he traded away one white American, every other person he traded was a foreigner or a minority, many times both. Meanwhile, Apollo Crews is the only minority that he traded for in the Superstar Shakeup, and every single one of his picks are Americans (not counting managers). I did not notice this until I got to this point when writing, and it’s got me shook. Kurt Angle is a kayfabe xenophobic racist.

Smackdown Motivation: Sami Zayn is basically new age Daniel Bryan, so this move couldn’t make more sense for their side.

Winner: Smackdown (Raw leads 10-5)

4. Raw trades Rusev with Lana to Smackdown for The Miz with Maryse
Kayfabe Logic: I can’t lose a dude with a hot chick without getting a dude with a hot chick in return.

Raw Motivation: The Miz has been doing some of his best work and part of that should be attributed to Maryse who has really helped elevate the stakes for The Miz. Also, John Cena’s the biggest superstar in the WWE, so if you can’t get him, you might as well get his number one impersonator.

Smackdown Motivation: Miz couldn’t get the job done against John Cena, so at this point, is he really worth the hassle for Daniel Bryan? Rusev has more untapped potential than anyone in the WWE, as he’s legitimately one of the funniest people on the show, and he’s a hoss in the ring. That’s a nice return.

Winner: Raw. The Miz deserves it for what he’s been doing these past six months, but the only reason that people don’t think Rusev hasn’t been doing just as good stuff on the microphone (his promo where he called out Cass and E for calling themselves Big before calling himself Handsome Rusev belongs in the Smithsonian), just with a Bulgarian accent. Raw leads 16-5

3. Raw trades Charlotte Flair to Smackdown for Alexa Bliss
Kayfabe Logic: One former champion for another.

Raw Logic: Let’s face it. This had to be part of getting Mickie James for Tamina earlier. I love Alexa Bliss, but she’s no Charlotte.

Smackdown Logic: Uh, yeah, definitely do what you can to get Charlotte on the roster. I love Sasha an uncomfortable amount, but Charlotte has been the MVP of the Women’s division as long as it has been around.

Winner: Smackdown (Raw leads 16-12)

2. Raw trades Kevin Owens to Smackdown for Dean Ambrose
Kayfabe Logic: This is probably the most straight forward trade, as each side is trading their secondary champion in order to mix things up. And yes, this trade should probably be listed as number one, but as a writer, I needed a grand finale, and the final trade is way more hilarious.

Raw Motivation: Getting Dean Ambrose means that they have all three former members of The Shield on their roster, which will lead to endless speculation about the Shield reforming.

Smackdown Motivation: They get a better pure wrestler for their pure wrestling show, and he’s also better on the microphone, and he’s also not Dean Ambrose.

Winner: Smackdown (Smackdown leads 20-16)

1. Raw trades The New Day to Smackdown for Bray Wyatt
Kayfabe Logic: Bray has supernatural powers, and The New Day have the power of friendship.

Raw Motivation: Here’s what Raw has going for it. Bray Wyatt could win the World Title and give Raw both of the top titles on their show, which is especially valuable since there ain’t no way Brock Lesnar is defending that thing on Raw. Also, while trading three guys for one may seem excessive, Bray keeps pooping out new members at random times, so maybe he can bring in The Drifter or a darker version of No Way Jose? I don’t know.

Smackdown Motivation: They got three guys for one, and now their show is no longer booty. Creepy cult leading Bray Wyatt was cool, supernatural, maggot loving, Bray Wyatt is stupid. I’m not even a big fan of The New Day’s work these past six months, but I’d still rather have Big E alone over Bray Wyatt. Getting Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods along with him is a massive win for Smackdown.

Winner: Smackdown (Smackdown wins 29-16)

Although Raw won the minor trades, when it came to the top talents, Smackdown dominated their competition, and I’m actually incredibly excited about the future of Smackdown. It’s been putting on much better shows for a while, but with the influx of talent they have now, they could blow Raw away, and that is definitely not booty.

The Ultimate WWE Fantasy Draft - Review

Now that we have completed the ultimate WWE fantasy draft (Part one, part two, and part three), it's time to figure out the most interesting picks and hopefully get Jonah to admit my dominance in fantasy wrestling drafts. We had a long conversation, and shockingly, nothing was decided, but here are our thoughts.

Joe: Jonah, the draft is over, and I think you feel good about your roster, and I know I feel good about my roster. But the question that I'm most curious about is at the top. Did I make the right decision with Seth Rollins?

Jonah: Rollins is a good pick to have as the face of your brand.  He's got the look and the in ring skills of a star and gets a reaction from the crowd.  I feel like his heel work has been a little one dimensional but in the near future he will show whether or not he can be a little more original.  If you were in my position and rollins was off the board would you have gone with the other two shield members or gone a different way?

Joe: I did have Reigns in my top three, but I am super low on Dean Ambrose compared to most people. I understand that people really like him, but I knew there was no way I was going to end up with him in this draft. No, instead, the guy that I had at number two, and has the best argument to be number one is the doctor of Thuganomics, John Cena. I didn't take Cena with my next two picks, because right before I was about to pick him and Cesaro, I flashed back to Cesaro and Sami Zayn matches and realized that I couldn't separate those two. Why did you let Cena keep falling?

Jonah: Age and fear of injuries.  He's been banged up for a long time.  Also love for Kevin Owens.  He will be wwe champ within the year.  He does everything so well.  He's consistently the best week in and week out.  AJ Styles is fresher in terms of the wwe.  Basically anyone he faces off with is a fresh match people want to see and I think he's incapable of putting on a bad match.  Cena was next on my list I just had those few guys rated ahead of him.  We both love Brock Lesnar but are you worried you used such a high draft pick on someone that may wrestle one or two matches on your show at most?

Joe: Cena is a freak when it comes to injuries, so I'm not too worried about that. Also, he is BY FAR the biggest star in the WWE. And we really shouldn't forget that Cena had his best year as a wrestler before his injury. He often had the match of the night when defending the US Title, and the guy is a star who does a ton of charity. We hate John Cena, because we realize he is who we want to be.

I love Kevin Owens, but I think that his body does make him a tough sell to a casual wrestling fan. And AJ Styles is a great wrestler, but his potential is not leading a company.

As for Lesnar, he may only wrestle once or twice on Raw, but he's got 4-6 matches in PPVs, which will only happen with my guys. And I also get the benefit of Paul Heyman hanging around doing promos. And when Lesnar is wrestling, he is the main event (unless he's wrestling somebody shitty like Dean Ambrose, ZING). How far would you have let Lesnar fall? Also, out of your top 10 picks, who do you think was the best value?

Jonah: Hey I'm not hating on John Cena, I would have taken him if you didn't in the next round.  He does seem to be moving down the card a bit, but it was a great pick.  I do disagree on AJ, he carried TNA on his back, and I know they've become a complete joke but they were a decent company for awhile and that was the time that AJ was employed by them.  Lesnar likely wouldn't have fallen past my next two picks, I was just thinking that he doesn't wrestle on free tv, which does make it a little tougher for him since we're drafting for shows.  Paul Heyman, personal friend and follower of The Jonah Show is always entertaining.  I really like my top 10 picks, so it's tough to pick one.  Randy Orton is a veteran star who has been main eventing for a decade.  Rusev should already be in the main event, but he's working his way up due to terrible booking.  The New Day may be the best pick for me out of the top ten.  Big E will be a main eventer for at least a decade.  Kofi and Xavier are entertaining as hell, and they're both great in the ring too.  Kofi's a veteran who has been in main event feuds and shown he can hang.

So Joe, you were the first to pull the trigger on the women's division.  Why did you feel that was the right time to take the two women, and why was Charlotte your pick?  Everyone understands that Sasha is the best so I don't need any explanation on that.

Joe: On why I chose the women when I did, it was actually interesting, because you came to me with this idea, and about ten minutes later I was ready to draft as I just quickly ranked everybody. On my original list, I had New Day over Charlotte and Sasha, but when it came time to draft, I went with the ladies. Part of that is that picking Kofi and Xavier that early when I had never cared about them before had me very concerned. I felt like Big E was worthy of that pick, I mean, he is a Hawkeye, but New Day is starting to lose its luster, and even though they are still great, I don't know where things go for them in a year. I also factored in positional scarcity, and it was clear that this was the right choice. These two are a clear cut above everyone else in the division. Sasha is obviously phenomenal; I mean, I'm 31-years-old and cannot help dancing every time her music comes on. It makes me feel like a Boss. And Charlotte is so good in the ring that she has gotten two great matches out of Natalya (Takeover and Roadblock), and Natalya is only slightly more useful than a wet fart. And Charlotte is still getting better in the ring, and she's taking some baby steps on the mic. I feel like with these two picks, all I needed to add were warm bodies, and I would have the more entertaining women's division. Obviously, you're going to feel different, so what are your thoughts on your women's division?

Jonah: Well, I agree that Sasha is the absolute best, and that her music is the absolute best.  I feel she is head and shoulders above everyone on the main roster.  Charlotte is very talented in the ring, but honestly dreadful on the mic.  It's not that Charlotte is a bad pick, I just feel that she is equal to Becky Lynch.  The only difference between the two is a push.  Becky is just as talented in the ring, and she's better on the mic.  I was able to get Becky more than 10 picks later.  I was concerned about the strength of your women's division, but I feel like mine stacks up well against yours.  Becky is at worst equal to Charlotte, I later got Paige who is the true catalyst for the women's revolution.  She came in, wrestled like a champ, and demanded attention.  She's just been lost in the shuffle for some reason, that reason being the WWE writing team can't book more than two women's feuds at a time or else their heads will explode.  I'm far from a big Nattie fan, but she does put on quality matches the majority of the time so she's very useful.  Nikki Bella is underrated in the ring because she's a Bella.  She's not a horsewoman, but she puts on good matches.  Alicia Fox and Naomi are underrated and underused, but plenty talented enough.  Tamina isn't that special, but she's a good enforcer in the women's division.  My women's division is deep and talented.  I feel like Chris Jericho fell further than I would have expected.  Is there a reason you didn't want him?

Joe: First off, you owe me a new laptop, because saying that "Becky is at worst equal to Charlotte" was so laughable that I did a spit take and now my monitor is covered in smoothie. I'm hoping you don't believe that, because nobody in the world thinks Becky is equal to Charlotte. Becky is really good, but Charlotte is the Brock Lesnar of the Women's division. She's bigger, stronger, and more athletic than any woman they have. Becky Lynch is good, but she's more on the Paige/Emma level than the Sasha/Charlotte/Bayley tier.

I mean my reasoning behind not taking Jericho is that his schedule is inconsistent, and he's not around long enough to truly have a compelling feud, because you know the other guy is going over. This is the longest he's been around in what, five years? He's not a full-time wrestler, and although this iteration has been great, it started out with him calling New Day "Rooty Tooty Booty" and proceeding to spend the next month defending that as genuinely funny. Jericho has been very good, but he can also be very bad. With the limited schedule, I didn't think the risk was worth it.

Speaking of part-timers, how early did I jump the gun on The Rock? Keep in mind, there is at least a one percent chance that he gets Vin Diesel to show up with him one time.

Jonah: Well now my feeling are hurt, I do think Becky is equal to Charlotte.  Charlotte is a great wrestler, but she is awful on the mic.  Maybe Brock Lesnar is a good comparison.  He's awesome in the ring, but he's not a great promo.  Jericho seems like he's back for awhile and he's been doing great work.  His first feud with The New Day was terrible, but he's been money since.  My love for the Rock is well documented, but it was too early for him.  If you're lucky he shows up twice a year and wrestles one match, again not on free tv.  I hope he brings Vin Diesel with him, I'd buy them as tag team champs all day.  He's the most electrifying man in all of entertainment, but I'm pretty sure he's got 18 movies to film with Kevin Hart, he's going to be busy.  Speaking of part timers, how long do you figure Shane is sticking around?

Joe: I don't know how involved he will be, but I'd be pretty surprised if he wasn't back with WWE, at least on a part-time basis, and the more they talk about it, I think he's likely to be fairly involved. It was also at this point where nobody has huge potential on the wrestling side. I'm a little bummed I missed out on Tyler Breeze. Any picks that stand out for you in part two of the draft?

Jonah: I do love Tyler Breeze.  I see that I took Titus O' Neil very early, but I think he's got a ton of potential.  Do you think his recent push is because the WWE reads our columns?  I'm also very happy with my pick of Fandango.  That guy can wrestle and he's all charisma all the time.  I think he's a great value.  I like your pick of the Vaudevillians.  So who's your favorite Social Outcast?  Which on of them will you book as the breakout star of the group?

Joe: Yeah, The Vaudevillains were a team that just kept falling, but they're both fun in the ring, and Aiden English having the ability to sing is something that that could be a huge help in getting them over. As for my favorite Social Outcast, Heath Slater is great at what he does, taking beatings in an entertaining way, Curtis Axel is hilarious, even if it is sometimes unintentional, but the cream of the crop is Bo Dallas. I know it's been two years, but Bo Dallas may be the best promo in NXT history. He was the absolute best, and despite being buried since being called up, he still gets a reaction. He is a FAR BETTER promo than his brother, as Bo could actually keep things fresh, and Bray is as stale as it gets. 

Moving on, I was the guy to jump on the non-wrestlers and lock down my announce team of Mauro Ranallo and Corey Graves which could be the steals of the draft for the impact they will have on my television product. I'm interested to hear your plan as Booker T only does occasional PPVs with his schedule, and Renee is pretty rough with announcing matches. So Jonah, what the hell are you going to do with your announcers that will not make me want to change the channel?

Jonah: Renee Young might as well be El Dandy because I will never doubt her.  I think she'll be great.  Even if she's not, she's still a great interviewer.  I have Michael Cole who is the voice of the WWE, so that's a solid announcer.  Tom Phillips has been good in NXT, he plays off Graves well and his delivery helps Graves stand out.  Byron Saxton is already a RAW announcer, he's not very good, but he's good enough to talk on the flagship show every week according to the WWE.  With just those three I have plenty of announcing talent.  Don't forget I also have Funaki, the number one announcer, plus Jerry Soto on the Spanish announce team.  So your superstar women's division includes wrestling legends like Eva Marie and Rosa Mendes.  How can you make them not complete wastes of space?

Joe: Step one: Put Eva Marie and Rosa Mendes in an hour long Iron Woman Match.

Step two: Start the match and let the crowd reign down with boos.

Step three: Brock Lesnar's music.

Step four: Annihilation

Outside of that, Eva Marie has become serviceable in the ring. She's still bad, but if you told me I had to watch an hour of Eva Marie or five minutes of Natalya, I'm All Red Everything. Rosa Mendes dated Gary Barnridge a couple years ago, so I will use her to identify fantasy football sleepers.

I don't really feel like doing a deep dive into the end of this thing, so who was your favorite pick, and who were you most disappointed about a guy that you weren't able to get?

Jonah: Well I know you'll disagree with this, but Bray Wyatt at 22 is an awesome pick.  Despite terrible booking he still matters and is still over.  If they put the slightest effort into him he'll be a main eventer.  He's also very good in the ring.  I was disappointed I missed out on Neville.  That guy is awesome, hopefully when he makes his return they'll stop booking him into obscurity.  I thought he'd last longer.  What about you?  Who was your favorite pick and who are you sad you missed out on?  

Joe: I mean, the big thing for me was how things fell for me at the beginning of the draft, as I got five of my top six rated guys, only missing out on Roman Reigns. But for deeper down the list, picking Apollo Crews and Neville back-to-back was a real highlight and I was also really happy to get Emma as she has been incredible since going back to NXT. I'll be excited to see her come back from injury. 

The biggest guy that I missed out on was Rusev, as he's just so damn cool. If he didn't have a Russian accent, he'd already be in the main event scene, as he's legitimately one of the five funniest people in the WWE. Some of the later picks I would have liked to get are Tyler Breeze and Darren Young with Bob Backlund. Backlund during an election year should prove to be entertaining.

But that'll wrap up the main roster talk. Next week is NXT Week where Jonah gets that coveted first overall pick.

The 10 Best Things In The WWE: May 2016

Since it's Memorial Day, we're going minimal for the May WWE Rankings. Just list it out so everybody can get back to their BBQ.

10. New Day
9. Dana Brooke
8. Enzo and Big Cass
7. Seth Rollins
6. Roman Reigns
5. AJ Styles
4. The Miz
3. Kevin Owens
2. Sami Zayn
1. Cesaro

I put approximately 45 seconds of thinking into these rankings, so they are undeniable.

The 10 Best Things In The WWE: April 2016

As the old saying goes, April showers bring May Flowers. In the WWE, the saying goes, April Shaners bring May Kaners. That's right, Shane O'Mac is going to bring back Kane to keep him in power for April. Did I come up with this opening very late at night while needing to get some sleep? You betcha, but April had WrestleMania, and the most debuts ever. It's been crazy, and this will definitely be the most competitive month that we have had in 2016.

Honorable Mention: Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson, The Vaudevillains, The Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Stardust, Apollo Crews, Charlotte, Becky Lynch, Sasha Banks, and New Day. Yeah, this month was so stacked that I couldn't include The New Day. That's insane, but it was partially helped by them taking the month off. Now onto the top 10.

10. Zack Ryder (Last Month: Uh, was he even employed?)
Let us never forget his Intercontinental Title reign. It was a great moment. Scott Hall held his belt, and we learned that Ryder overcame cancer as a child. Zack Ryder is great. Woo Woo Woo, You Know It!

9. Shane McMahon (Last Month: 10)
He went through a dang table. Yeah, the rest of his match was garbage. But still, that table spot made me ill to my stomach watching him on top of the cage. That's good work right there.

8. Baron Corbin (Last Month: Feuding with midgets)
It was always just a matter of time for Baron Corbin, as the guy really started to get it once he became a heel, and he was already blessed with a frame that the WWE loves. He made an impact with his debut, winning the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal. Now he's feuding with Dolph Ziggler which is just about the best possible feud for both guys. It doesn't matter who wins, because both guys will look good for being involved in it.

7. The Miz (Last Month: Bring back Mizdow)
So we have the most stacked month of WWE greatness, and still, The Miz makes the list? Yes, and deservedly so as The Miz has quietly been kind of excellent lately. His in-ring stuff is only solid, but they're accentuating what he does well. In a ladder match, he can pop up for short periods, hit a big spot and disappear for a while, and now he just does talking where he tricks poor Zack Ryder to take the title and is a total shitheel which is perfect as everyone wants to see Cesaro annihilate him from this Earth. On top of that, Maryse is a great addition for The Miz, as him having his wife accompany him is somehow an awful heel move when done by Miz. Just a great month for him.

6. Chris Jericho (Last Month: 6) 
Bad Jericho is back, which is great for business. Let's face it, Jericho was always best as a heel, and lately, he hasn't really found a good niche as a good guy or bad guy. But he's finally found that niche as a heel who hates guys who were beloved on the independents, and it looks like he's having a lot of fun with it, so it's been fun for everybody. Jericho is still putting on great matches, and his character work has been great lately. He'll probably be gone soon, so take a moment to enjoy how great of a professional wrestler Chris Jericho is.

5. AJ Styles (Last Month: 7)
Styles has quickly adjusted to the WWE style, and he might even win a World Title in a couple days. He keeps putting on fun matches, and he has the whole crowd behind him. Is he great at speaking? No, but he doesn't have to be to still be great.

4. Cesaro (Last Month: Probably saving the world with his freakish strength)
Cesaro is another guy who doesn't have to be great at speaking to still be great, but pairing him with The Miz is a really good call. Cesaro could wrestle a broomstick and get a great match out of it, so that's never an issue, but since The Miz is such a nerd, it's easy for Cesaro to play the cool guy. Suitsaro is a character I can definitely get fully behind (almost as great as US Champion Cesaro who loved the USA but hated Americans). But Cesaro's the greatest. He should never lose, ever, and we should enjoy every day that we get to share the Earth with him.

Oh, and how awful was it that the day before Cesaro debuted his ripaway suit, The Rock ripped away his clothes to reveal his wrestling gear underneath? Damnit, Rock, you somehow unintentionally buried someone almost as well as you intentionally do it.

3. Kevin Owens (Last Month: 1)
Kevin Owens continues to be great. He was a central part of that incredible ladder match at Mania, and he has continued to be great with every interaction he has. Finally, he gets to face Sami Zayn, and, well...let's just get to the next guy.

2. Sami Zayn (Last Month: 8)
I have made no efforts to hide my love for Sami Zayn. He's wonderful, and it's great to see him on the main roster. He has fought back to take on his arch nemesis, so this is finally time for his revenge. So we all know what's going to happen? Yeah, Sami is losing. He has to lose; that's what Sami Zayn does. He makes us care and loses, and somehow we never stop caring, because, man, do we want the best for Sami. He's put on nothing but fun matches since he got moved up, and that's not going to stop anytime soon.

1. Enzo and Cass (Last Month: Realest guys in the room, now realest guys in largest room)
Enzo has been the hottest of fire on the microphone since getting promoted. They could not have done any better with any second of the opportunity that they have been given. They didn't even wrestle on the biggest card of the year this month, and they still take the top spot, and I must say that it has a lot to do with Enzo having maybe the best one-liner of the last decade, "We're like A cups, because we're real, whether you like us or not." I don't even have the words to describe how perfect that line is. Bless you, Enzo and Cass. You are the realest guys in the room.

How you doin.

The 10 Best Things in the WWE: March 2016

This is all about positive, but just three months in, and the WWE is definitely challenging my patience. Absolutely nothing has happened in this last month, and still, I find myself incredibly excited for WrestleMania. They pull out all the stops for Mania, and when I look at the card, I do see great potential for every match on the card. I mean, even Ryback/Kalisto could be a lot of fun. For a reminder, here's how February looked, but now it's time to look at what happened in March.

1. Kevin Owens (Last Month: 4)
Owens worst nights are good, but man, when he is on, it is truly some incredible stuff he is pulling out. He's able to get good matches out of anybody, and his plan of having a triple threat of jobbers to get a shot at the Intercontinental Title was wonderful. Also, it brings up his poor history in ladder matches, as that is how he lost to Finn Balor for the NXT Championship. But this 7-way ladder match has me excited for everybody in this match (except for Sin Cara), and it's my pick for match of the night for WrestleMania.

2. Triple H (Last Month: Unranked)
I am a giant Triple H hater, you could even call me a HHHater, if you were so inclined. Still, he's had an important month. He took out Roman Reigns, had a nice feud with Dean Ambrose that ended in a really entertaining match. He had another entertaining match with Dolph Ziggler, and he's taken some Roman Reigns beatdowns along the way. Triple H has become a far more entertaining in-ring performer since he retired, and it's why I actually think the main event will be good, although I definitely think there are going to be some hijinks involved.

3. Dean Ambrose (Last Month: 7)
Ambrose has been on fire these last few months, and even though I have been down on him in the past, he's starting to make a believer out of me. He had a fun two-week feud with Triple H that further developed his character, not as a crazy person, but just as a tough dude who doesn't care about how much of a beating he's going to take. That sets up nicely for his feud with Brock Lesnar, where it is a street fight, and that actually adds a chance that he could beat Lesnar, especially as he has gotten help from hardcore legends the last few weeks. The only downside this month was his match with Braun Strowman, which was..not good.

4. Jonathan Coachman (Last Month: Unranked)
I am one of the world's biggest Coach marks. In fact, if you factor in my love for the 1990s sitcom starring Craig T. Nelson and Damon Wayans Jr.'s character on New Girl, I may be the biggest Coach mark. So yes, I was very excited to see Coach back on Raw, and yes, I also considered putting him at the top of this list, so consider putting him at 4 as me showing restraint.

5. The New Day (Last Month: 2)
I feel like the reason the New Day is this low is not that they have taken a step back, but our expectations have taken a step forward. There are rumblings of people getting tired of them, and I am not there yet. I still sit up and pay attention when they are doing something, but a 3 vs. 4 feud that doesn't seem to have any point outside of New Day becoming good guys just doesn't excite me in any way. And although it seems like it was months ago, I'm pretty sure they had their tag match against Jericho and Styles in the last month, and that was probably the best match this past month. New Day still rocks; their current feud though? Not so much.

6. Chris Jericho (Last Month: Unranked)
I am so happy that I can actually put Jericho on this list. I was a huge mark for Jericho growing up, but he has seemed to get less and less appealing every time he comes back. This most recent time he has found a good niche, and he's showing why he was so good for so long. The guy can still put on good matches, but with great character work, he can still be one of the most valuable assets the WWE has, even in a part-time role.

7. AJ Styles (Last Month: Unranked)
AJ Styles has been in a ton of good matches this month, and he's made a seamless transition to the WWE roster. Even though I'm enjoying this new version of Jericho, you already know that Styles has to win the feud, because Jericho is likely gone shortly after Mania. We'll see if he can take a step forward and get in a more prominent feud after that.

8. Sami Zayn (Last Month: Unranked)
I have made no secret of my love for Sami Zayn, but I still can't put him any higher than this for the month. I'm excited for what's going to happen, but I'm not necessarily excited with what has happened. Although Sami got a taste on Monday, so far he has just been chasing down Kevin Owens. Next month is when he likely catches him, and that's what I'm excited about.

9. Charlotte (Last Month: 8)
She has had some really good matches this past month, even having a really fun match with Natalya, someone who I usually do not care about at all. The thing that hurts the Divas division is that they have just drug things out and made them unnecessarily complicated. It's kind of the same thing everywhere, as they have to announce matches early enough to hype them for WrestleMania, but they struggle to keep things interesting in the weeks between the announcement and the match actually happening.

10. Shane McMahon (Last Month: 5) 
Makes the list for dropping that elbow on The Undertaker on Monday night. I'm still not really looking forward to the match, but I'm not dreading it as much as I thought I would be. That's a little thing called progress.

The 10 Best Things in the WWE: February 2016

Another month and more of the same from the WWE. I had a fascinating conversation with my brother after Fastlane. He enjoyed the PPV, where I could barely pay attention to anything outside of the main event. The reason behind this is that I watch Raw every week, and he hasn't watched Raw in months. The repetitive nature of just about every damn match on that card meant that nothing meant anything, but if it was fresh, it was probably pretty enjoyable (outside of the six-man tag, obviously). WWE has enough talent to have engaging storylines every week, but they don't give anything enough time to actually develop. They want immediate returns instead of planting the seeds for something great down the line, and that is why the product has been stale. But this is an article that celebrates what WWE does well, because it's too easy to do the opposite. Without further adieu, the 10 best things in the WWE for February 2016:

1. Brock Lesnar (Last Month: Unranked)
Anytime Brock Lesnar is on screen, I sit up and pay attention. Everything is brought to a higher level with his presence. He may not get the credit, but he might be the best professional wrestler ever. No, he's not the most technically skilled, but he could be wrestling anyone, and I would give it my full attention. I can't think of a single wrestler he wouldn't put on a great match with. Like, is anyone out there really saying they wouldn't LOVE to see him smash Hornswoggle? I'd probably get physically ill if he chose to destroy Bayley, but I'd watch, and deep down inside, a part of me would enjoy it. He not only put himself at the top of this list but also propelled the other guys in the match along with him.

2. The New Day (LM: 1)
The New Day still rocks, and even though they are likely on their way to becoming good guys, I'm still excited for their future. Feuding with The League of Nations would build some interest, because no other tag team is a viable matchup until American Alpha comes up and takes down everything in their path.

3. Roman Reigns (LM: 6)
It is very hard to be objective with Roman Reigns. Either you follow the WWE's lead and are convinced he is the super savior that this generation needs, or you're a smark who decides that WWE can't tell them who to like and only focus on what he doesn't do well. I'm somewhere in the middle, and closer to the former than the latter. Roman Reigns is fun to watch in his matches, and he continues to have really good matches on big stages. I'd rather appreciate what he does well than what he doesn't.

4. Kevin Owens (LM: 4)
He won back his Intercontinental Title in about the most meaningless way possible, and then he wrestled Dolph Ziggler for the 35th time this month. I still find him to be consistently entertaining, and I am hoping the WWE utilizes him to the full extent for WrestleMania.

5. Shane McMahon (LM: Unranked)
I was never a big Shane O'Mac fan. He's fine and definitely the best wrestler of the McMahons, but he was by no means a good wrestler, just someone willing to take bumps, which, admittedly, is more than I'm willing to do. And I can't say that I'm excited for his match at WrestleMania, because he's kind of old, and The Undertaker is even older. With all that being said, he made a hell of an impact in his first segment, and it did raise my interest in anything the McMahons are doing. I think the play here is that Shane McMahon puts up a good fight with Taker, and after Taker tombstones him 1-3 times, Taker lies on his back and drags Shane over him to purposely lose. That's the way you have to play this, right?

6. Sasha Banks (LM: 2)
She's still great. She'll put on an entertaining match with Becky Lynch next month before moving on to face Charlotte at WrestleMania. They may actually keep my interest in a two-month build, as Sasha was continually building towards things with her feud with Team BAD, followed by taking on Becky Lynch to prep for a match for the title. That is nice work.

7. Dean Ambrose (LM: 7)
Dean Ambrose vs. Brock Lesnar actually has me excited. Sure, it's more for the latter than the former, but still, I'm excited. Ambrose has been on fire these past two months where his wackiness hasn't just been stupidity, but he's more of a crazy person who won't quit. I could get behind that. Still, we'll keep him around here and stay cautiously optimistic.

8. Charlotte Flair (LM: 9)
Sure, she's no Sasha Banks, but she is an effective women's champion. She is the biggest, strongest, most athletic Diva they have, so it's very easy for her to be disliked. Her speaking is a little rough, but she still has the highest potential to do something insane with her athleticism, and she continues to be solid. This is good.

9. Bo Dallas (LM: 5, as member of Social Outcasts)
Bo Dallas breaks into his own this month, as he is always the highlight of the Social Outcasts. Sure, what they're doing is still essentially meaningless, but it's worth paying attention to which gives him an advantage over most of the roster.

10. Dolph Ziggler (LM: 8)
The WWE is bound and determined to make me less and less excited about Dolph Ziggler, but I'm not ready to quit him yet. He had some really good matches with Kevin Owens, but it just wore me down seeing it every week.

And that wraps up this month. Falling off the list is Rusev (LM: 3) who didn't do anything of note, and Sami Zayn (LM: 10) who disappeared after his Royal Rumble appearance. 

The 10 Best Things in the WWE: January 2016

I am 31 years old; I still watch pro wrestling. This is never a point in my favor, but I'm basically an addict at this point. It's not always good; in fact, it's usually not all that good, but when it is good, it can be one of the greatest things produces on television, and that's what I keep holding on to. Still, most of it sucks, but it's easy to focus in the negative; instead, I want to focus on the positive, so here are the ten best things in the WWE this past month (Note: I will only focus on the main roster, as nearly everything about NXT is great).

1. The New Day 

No self-respecting list could start with anything but The New Day. They're amazing. Just hearing them do their intro immediately puts a giant smile on my face, as I know I am about to feel real emotions and true love for a part of the WWE product. They have shown that they can hold their own with any wrestler that has ever been on the roster on the mic, and their work speaking should not overshadow their work in the ring, as Kofi and Big E complement each other incredibly well. I never thought I would be a huge Xavier Woods fan, but I am a huge Xavier Woods fan as the man has learned his niche and is incredibly entertaining without being totally distracting. New...Day Rocks.

2. Sasha Banks  

Just seeing Sasha Banks start walking out at the Royal Rumble overfilled my heart with joy. Sasha is the best female wrestler they have, and even though the talent has increased a ton with the Divas Revolution, it's still not all that close. She compels the crowd to the point that anytime there is a Divas match without Banks, everyone is wondering, "Where's Sasha?" She's got a lot going on right now as she's taking on Becky, wants to challenge Charlotte and is creating a riff between herself and Team BAD. The good news is that we won't have to wonder where Sasha is for the foreseeable future.

3. Rusev 

This is a man who speaks multiple languages, but did he learn these skills with an easy upbringing? No, he had to throw kids off the school bus, so there was enough room for him so he could go to school and learn. If you can get past the fact that he has an accent, you will learn that he is maybe the second most creative speaker in the entire company. He is my hero; he is your hero; he is even Putin's hero. All hail Rusev.

4. Kevin Owens 

He is consistently entertaining in and out of the ring, which makes him a rarity in the WWE right now. He's proof that a guy who is successful in a variety of organizations all over the country can also find success in the WWE. He hadn't debuted in NXT at this point last year, and now he is probably the likely opponent for Undertaker at WrestleMania, and is totally deserving of that opportunity.

5. The Social Outcasts 

This is mostly due to Bo Rida, who spit hot rhymes at Flo Rida and basically destroyed him in a rap battle that was designed for Bo to lose, but he BOlieved, and it was phenomenal. But at least they are doing something with those guys, and because they don't matter, they have freedom to do absolutely anything, which gives them more room to do something that truly stands out.

6. Roman Reigns 

I know everybody wants to shit on Roman Reigns, because. DURR the WWE can't tell me who to like, but just disliking the guys that WWE wants to push to prove how smart you are isn't all that productive either. Is he entertaining on the mic? No, not really, but he has been putting on good matches for a while, and objectively, he is pretty cool. He's a freakin' Samoan in SWAT gear. That's cool.

7. Dean Ambrose 

I am what you would call a Dean Ambrose hater, but that match at Royal Rumble was awesome, and that alone can put him on this list. Ambrose is not a guy who is made to appeal to me, but I can still understand some of the appeal, and he's fine, just not one of my favorites.

8. Dolph Ziggler 

He's still good in the ring, but it's tough to get too excited for him when you know that nothing that he is going to do will matter AT ALL. 

9. Ric and Charlotte Flair 

It's not the best Ric Flair. Hell, it's not the best Charlotte Flair, but I'm still interested when they're on TV, and that is way more than I can say for most of the Divas division. Becky Lynch does deserve some credit here, but not quite enough to include a third Diva in the Top 10.

10. Sami Zayn 

Yeah, this is kind of cheating, but he did make one appearance, so that does make him eligible. His one appearance was fun where they reminded everyone that Zayn and Owens still hate each other, but I doubt we will be seeing him on these rankings again anytime soon. 

These rankings are absolutely subjective, so feel free to let me know what I got wrong in the comments.