Showing posts with label Luke Gallows. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Luke Gallows. Show all posts

Monday, January 20, 2020

The WWE Is Ruining... AJ Styles

I still can’t believe how long it took for the WWE to realize that AJ Styles might be pretty good at this whole professional wrestling thing. But after proving he was great for like two decades, he finally did make it on the WWE roster, and overall, it’s been a tremendous success. He has been seen as the best wrestler in the world for part of his run, and his greatness is undeniable.
But it seems like the momentum has slowly come to a halt. He’s still great in the ring, but I’m just not as inspired by it. It’s partially being paired up with The OC. Don’t get me wrong, I think that pairing is a great idea, but the execution has been terrible. They had one night where they truly looked awesome together, and that is when they beat the hell out of the Undisputed Era at the beginning of an NXT episode. They looked like monsters who could destroy you with the strength of their teamwork, but that has never shown up on the main roster.
And really, that’s all I’d want to see changed with Styles. Make that group more viable and threatening and everything they do will seem more important. This probably helps The OC more than Styles, but it gets Styles to that vaunted tier of guys that could legitimately main event WrestleMania, something that Styles has more than enough all-around ability to do. A good heel faction bashing skulls and having lolz is just what this WWE roster needs.
Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Aiden English
Akam
Aleister Black

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Tuesday, July 23, 2019

The WWE Is Ruining... Finn Balor

Finn Balor just lost the Intercontinental Title on a kickoff show of a C-level pay per view. That is so insane. First off that the Intercontinental Championship, the title with the most prestige when it comes to pure wrestling talent was not good enough to be on the main show. And secondly that Finn Balor, Finn FREAKING Balor and Shinsuke MOTHERFUCKING Nakamura were not good enough to be on the main card. There must be something seriously wrong for anything that egregious to happen.

Now I ask, what is Finn Balor’s gimmick? I ask this, because I have no idea if he has any motivation outside of “enjoys smiling.” Even that is a mystery, because it’s not like he smiles at specific things. He just smiles, sometimes sincerely, sometimes sarcastically, but he definitely smiles a lot. That is the Finn Balor way.

Wouldn’t it be a whole lot more fun of instead of smiling at a baby in a strolla, he became a real rock n’ rolla. Yep, just use his New Japan gimmick, and then you can actually use his smiling gimmick. Just make it an arrogant smile, because, guess what? Every time I see that dude with a shirt off, it pisses me off a little bit, because unless I get ab and pectoral implants, I will never be able to look like that.

Pair him up with The Club, because again, why not? It’d be ideal if you could sign Bad Luck Fale so Finn could ride on his shoulders to the ring (they did it before and better than Jungle Boy and Luchasaurus), but we’ll settle for him riding on the shoulders of Luke Gallows.

This is a case of Occam’s Razor where the simplest solution is the best. I know I don’t have to tell WWE this, but don’t overthink this. Just listen to me, and let Finn Balor be the real rock n’ rolla that he was meant to be.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Akam
Ali
Alicia Fox
Andrade "Cien" Almas
Apollo Crews
Bayley
Big E
Big Show
Bo Dallas
Bobby Lashley
Bobby Roode
Braun Strowman
Brock Lesnar
Carmella
Chad Gable
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Tuesday, November 13, 2018

The WWE Is Ruining... Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows

As a pro wrestling fan, it is a part of our identity to always know how to utilize wrestlers better than the WWE. If WWE would just give me, random WWE fan, a job a the company, ratings would immediately rise to the levels of the Monday Night Wars, despite how television ratings have changed as a whole over the last 20 years. But until that happens, WWE will continue ruining our favorite wrestlers, and that is why it is time to point out the error in their ways. Because of WWE's incompetence, I am literally going to pick a wrestler at random and point out how they could be better utilized, because WWE is ruining everyone in one way or another.

Today, we are definitely not talking about nerds. Instead, it's time to talk about Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows, two guys who really need a tag team name.

I know it's hard to remember this now, but Anderson and Gallows actually debuted as total badasses when they came out in street clothes and annihilated The Usos. That's pretty cool. Then they started tagging with AJ Styles. That is also cool. They won most matches, and when they lost, it was usually DQ. This could also be classified as cool.

Then about two months after their debut, they stopped winning matches. It was not cool. They stopped winning, and people stopped caring.

Inexplicably, they won the tag titles at the Royal Rumble, but even that was mitigated since it was relegated to the preshow. Also, even though they held the belts, they still lost to Roman Reigns in a handicap match. Eventually, they lost to the Hardy Boyz at WrestleMania and have gone back to their losing ways for the last year and a half. Currently, they are in one of their better stretches as tehy have not been seen for over two months.

So what to do with Gallows and Anderson? It's actually super simple. Put these guys in a stable. You align them with any combination of New Japan guys that you want. Finn Balor (with him being on Raw, probably won't happen anytime soon), AJ Styles, even Shinsuke Nakamura would all make sense aligning with Anderson and Gallows. Hell, you could bring up Ricochet as part of the group to give him an early boost.

The big thing with Gallows and Anderson is they are probably not going to carry the division, but they should be occasional champs. The problem is they haven't been showcased in the right way to demonstrate their personality, and they seem to be completely worthless without the belts. If you put them in a stable, they can accompany other guys and make their presence felt with distractions on the outside. As these past months have shown us, just being present would be a huge upgrade for them.

Also, Gallows and Anderson are meant to be bullies. They were able to do that with a numbers game where the Bullet Club cheated all the damn time. This way they can be important without needing the straps, and they can have a purpose without being in the title picture. Also, looking at those names above, what are their gimmicks? AJ Styles would prefer if you didn't threaten his family, Finn Balor smiles, and Shinsuke...is Japanese. Ideally, you end the Samoa Joe feud by having Joe continue to mess with Styles until Gallows and Anderson come out and totally destroy him to help out their buddy. A month or two later, have them help out Shinsuke, and bam, you have a fearsome foursome that is the most threatening thing on Smackdown.

There is no need to reinvent the wheel with Gallows and Anderson. You have a perfectly good wheel waiting to be used. But they could still use a different name.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Alicia Fox
Bobby Lashley
Charlotte Flair
Dana Brooke
Dash Wilder
Kane
Kofi Kingston
Mickie James
Mojo Rawley
Nia Jax
Peyton Royce
Randy Orton
Scott Dawson
Tyler Breeze
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Tuesday, October 23, 2018

The WWE Is Ruining... Randy Orton

As a pro wrestling fan, it is a part of our identity to always know how to utilize wrestlers better than the WWE. If WWE would just give me, random WWE fan, a job a the company, ratings would immediately rise to the levels of the Monday Night Wars, despite how television ratings have changed as a whole over the last 20 years. But until that happens, WWE will continue ruining our favorite wrestlers, and that is why it is time to point out the error in their ways. Because of WWE's incompetence, I am literally going to pick a wrestler at random and point out how they could be better utilized, because WWE is ruining everyone in one way or another.

Today, I look at the most accomplished full-time wrestler on the WWE roster, Mr. RKO, Randy Orton.

Randy Orton is a grand slam champion who has won a World Title 13 separate times, so he's had a pretty good run already. The thing is, the guy still looks great, and when motivated, seems to be able to put on top level matches. He's a physical presence that dwarfs most other wrestlers but can move with the best of them. On top of this, he possesses a natural charisma that is hard to find.

Despite all this, I don't give a shit about Randy Orton.

Part of this is that Randy Orton has been around forever, and he's fallen into this "sadistic" character that just wants to punish people. This worked when he was the legend killer, but him going on a grand slam of punting people in the face to now twisting people's earlobes and trying to turn Tye Dillinger into a hard 8 just feels...blah.

I will admit two things. Some people are into it, and it's not totally fair to say something sucks before it has had a chance to fully evolve. Clearly, this angle must be going somewhere, but at the end of the day, it's just not for me.

Instead, I want the WWE to go with the motto of, "What's old is new again." Randy Orton has always done his best work as a heel and part of a faction. Obviously, Evolution was not only the best group he was a part of, but also the best group Triple H was a part of as well. But Orton was also great with Legacy and The Authority. I think Orton might be a heel, but I'm honestly not even sure, because even if he is a heel, he's in that cool heel place that Randy Orton should never be. By all accounts, Orton is an entitled asshole and should never, ever be considered cool. Instead, let him embrace who he is, and let him embrace it with a faction to back him up.

The WWE has really steered away from factions recently. Even with groups like The Shield and New Day, that's only three guys, and because of the Horsemen, I feel like you need at least four guys to be a true faction. In fact, I think a good rule of thumb is whether you can hold all of the titles with separate guys. So, then the question becomes, how do you create a faction with Orton?

Obviously, my first thought was reboot Evolution. H is there, Flair isn't busy, and Batista might be game to show up a few times a year. But I feel like the WWE can do even better by creating a new group to surround Orton with. Here are my top 10 picks since I know WWE will need a lot of options to choose from.

1. EC3 - He'd be a perfect fit in a new Evolution-esque group.

2. Bobby Roode - Roode should be a heel, and he hasn't really shown main event potential, so putting him in a group would strengthen him.

3. Mike Kanellis - He's the representative who can get the 205 Live title. Did you know he was on 205 Live? Neither did I until Wikipedia told me, but this also would get them a valet for the group, making every wrestling fan yell, "Why is she with him?"

4. Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows - The Bullet Club ain't happening. Here's to a new group for these guys.

5. Bobby Lashley - Black Batista

6. The Mighty - Cocky tag team with accents seem like it could work.

7. Lars Sullivan - Terrifying enforcer who actually may have that Brock Lesnar feature where they are even scarier in a suit.

8. Mojo Rawley - Having a celebrity friend always makes people easy to dislike.

9. Baron Corbin - Just a naturally hateable guy who could be an enforcer.

10. Kona Reeves - If EC3 is unavailable, you could keep trying to make The Finest thing happen.

You put Orton as the leader of a group of 3-7 of these guys, and he's without a doubt a world champion contender who could make it so easy to actually cheer for the good guys that he is competing against. If he's in the championship picture, it elevates everyone around him as well giving legitimate contenders for secondary and tag titles.

The only way for Randy Orton to move forward is to look backward. I call this group...Devolution.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Bobby Lashley
Charlotte Flair
Dana Brooke
Dash Wilder
Kane
Kofi Kingston
Mickie James
Nia Jax
Peyton Royce
Scott Dawson
Tyler Breeze
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Monday, April 25, 2016

Fantasy Booking the WWE World Heavyweight Championship

In my neverending quest to be employed by the WWE, I have come up with a new plan.  Not a lot of people know that Vince Russo started out his career by fantasy booking for the WWE under the name Vic Venom.  While I lack the racism and non-sensical writing style of Vince Russo, I feel I can provide well thought out stories that actually accomplish things like getting wrestlers over.  With that in mind I present my fantasy booking to be presented as a job application to the WWE.

I'm going to start it off with a bang and fantasy book the World Title scene.  The WWE needs this advice, I sincerely hope they take it.

I actually had to rewrite this a bit, but the main points remain the same.  Reigns continues to act like a tweener while people boo the hell out of him.  At Payback he and Styles fight a hard fought match where towards the end there’s a ref bump, Styles accidently catches the ref with a boot while hitting the Phenomenal Forearm.   Styles has him pinned but there’s no ref to count.  Styles tries to get the ref up then Reigns hits a superman punch.  All three men are down when Anderson and Gallows come out.  The crowd is going crazy assuming they’re going to attack Reigns and make Styles the champ.  Instead, they pick up Styles and hit him with the Boot of Doom.  They slide out, Reigns makes the cover and retains.  He gives Anderson and Gallows a confused look, then smiles.  All three men beat down Styles after the match and pose as the show goes off the air.

On RAW the next night, Reigns comes out with Gallows and Anderson and cuts a heel promo about how the crowd didn’t like him, so he went out and got two of their favorites from Japan, so how do you like him now?.  He goes full crazy and calls the group the New Shield.  Reigns then calls out Ambrose.  He says Ambrose is his brother and he wants him in the New Shield.  Ambrose says he still loves Reigns but he can’t support what he did, he can’t join his group.  The New Shield brutally beatdown Ambrose and hit him with a triple powerbomb.  Styles comes out to make the save and is beatdown too.  This sets up the next few months of main event program with Ambrose trying to take down Reigns, but eventually falling to the numbers game, even with Styles help.  Styles also gets his chances but suffers the same fate as Ambrose.

After a few months, Reigns is in the ring doing a heel celebration with his New Shield.  Ambrose comes out on the ramp with Styles and challenges Reigns to a multiman tag team match where if their team wins, they get a Fatal Four Way Match for the title in Hell in A Cell.  Reigns cockily responds that it doesn’t matter who Styles and Reigns find in the back, no one can hang with the three of them.  Cue the hard hitting guitar and out comes Seth Rollins.  They go down and clear the ring.  The crowd goes nuts.  When the match happens, Rollins is the equalizer that Ambrose and Styles have been looking for and Reigns is pinned after a curbstomp.  This sets up the main event at Summerslam, a Fatal 4 way for the WWE Title inside Hell in A Cell.

Reigns is entrenched as a heel who is actually over, meaning that his eventual face turn will be actually well received.  It gives him a reason to turn heel which the WWE has needed for months, but they couldn’t exactly have him join the Authority since they were fighting each other.  It gets Ambrose in the main event where he belongs judging by the crowd’s reaction to him and keeps AJ Styles in the main event where he should be for the rest of his career.  Anderson and Gallows are also elevated as a clearly dangerous tag team that should be near or on top of the division for years to come.  Seth Rollins gets to make his triumphant return where he will clearly get a huge face reaction and you have a huge main event for Summerslam to push buys of the network.

I had written this before Anderson and Gallows had been interacting with Styles.  If I had complete control, there would have been no mention of the three and their history before Payback, making their appearance more of a surprise and more of a big moment.  Now it seems that Anderson and Gallows will almost definitely be involved in the match in some form, but you can still follow the story the rest of the way and make sure that everyone involved is elevated.
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