I'm sure a lot of you nerds are excited for your games of dress-up and sword play with the Game of Thrones premiere this Sunday, but since I'm oozing machismo, I'll be watching oiled up dudes take their shirts off and wrestle in their underwear. You know, real man stuff. WrestleMania 30 is going to be great, and I say that as someone who is not at all pumped about this card on paper. My favorite wrestler is on the preshow, the one wrestler I know is wrestling three dudes who combined age is 140, and I am highly doubting that any of my favorites from NXT are going to be making an appearance. But it's still WrestleMania, and there will definitely be awesome matches and hopefully a few surprises (although I doubt they find a way to make that banner image come true). To top it all off, I'm joined by a very special guest, Lukewarm Jonah, as we're going to break down the card match by match to see if there are any good betting opportunities, so you can make that scrilla and get yourself some extra months of the WWE Network (sorry to my foreign friends who are not able to purchase the network).
Tag Team Championship Match
The Usos (Champions) -250 vs. The Real Americans +175 vs. Rybaxel +250 vs. Los Matadores +600
Hott Joe: First off, let's eliminate Rybaxel, because I can't imagine anyway that they win the tag titles. They are just filling out the card. Next, let's eliminate Los Matadores, who are likely only in this match so Cesaro can swing El Torito to the moon. That leaves The Usos and The Real Americans. On one hand, they have been teasing a Real Americans breakup for a while, but on the other hand, they have also been teasing us with these possible breakups only for the group to stay together (The Shield), so it could go either way. I feel like this is an opportunity to propel Cesaro forward, but I think they will do it by splitting him up from his tag partner. The Usos take advantage and retain their tag titles.
LJ: The Usos are my pick. I don't like picking favorites, but I feel like I have to in this case. The Usos just won the tag titles and they’re not going to simply lose them a month later. The Real Americans are the only team with a real shot at winning and they’re going to break up soon so the Usos retain.
Winner: The Usos
Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
Alexander Rusev 7/4
Big Show 2/1
Sheamus 6/1
Dolph Ziggler 6/1
Alberto Del Rio 14/1
The Miz 14/1
Rey Mysterio 14/1
Big E 18/1
Fandango 18/1
Christian 18/1
Mark Henry 18/1
Cody Rhodes 25/1
Goldust 25/1
Damien Sandow 25/1
Titus O’Neil 50/1
The Great Khali 60/1
Zack Ryder 75/1
Sin Cara 75/1
Brad Maddox 75/1
Heath Slater 75/1
Jinder Mahal 75/1
Drew McIntyre 75/1
Kofi Kingston 75/1
Brodus Clay 75/1
Darren Young 80/1
Justin Gabriel 80/1
R-Truth 80/1
Santino Marella 80/1
Field 15/2
LJ: How the hell is Rusev the favorite in this match? That randomness really makes we want to pick him, but I’m taking Ziggler. Show is the obvious choice, so I don’t think he’s winning. It seems like they’re actually giving Ziggler a push again so hopefully this is the start of another main event run for him.
Hott Joe: So I'm going to make this simple and immediately eliminate everyone whose odds are 18/1 or worse. Sorry, guys, but you all have no chance of winning this thing. Next, let's eliminate The Miz and Alberto Del Rio as they have been losing nonstop for the past few months, so I don't see why they would win this thing. Next, as much as it pains me to do this, I have to eliminate Dolph Ziggler, as he is very near that Miz and ADR area. That leaves us five choices. Alexander Rusev, The Big Show, Sheamus, Rey Mysterio Jr., and The Field. Although The Field is very interesting since it could be a lot of different people, I don't see Hulk Hogan being a mystery entrant so I think you can mark that off as well. The WWE is about prestige, and I don't think they can trust a newbie like Rusev as the winner of this thing. He would be my pick for most eliminations, but I don't see him winning it. The last three are the guys to consider. I would say that Mysterio has the smallest (no pun intended) chance of winning, although the WWE could love the irony of Mysterio winning a battle royal dedicated to the largest athlete in wrestling history. So, for me, it comes down to Sheamus or Big Show. Since they hinted at Big Show winning it on Raw, I'll go Sheamus.
Winner: Dolph Ziggler (Lukewarm Jonah)/Sheamus (Hott Joe)
Hustle, Loyalty, Sheep Match
Bray Wyatt -350 vs. John Cena +225
Hott Joe: It seems like Wyatt needs this win to propel himself forward, but it's not like him beating Cena would end a feud with Cena and let him move on from things. That being said, there is no reason for Cena to win and move on, because there's nowhere for him to go either. I think this drags on for a while, but I do think that Bray Wyatt gets the win with help from Rowan and Harper.
LJ: Wyatt winning here makes a ton of sense, he’s a hot up and coming heel who is super over. On the other hand, John Cena is an actual underdog in a match. It’s tough to pass up betting on Cena as an underdog but I think Wyatt wins, and may even put Cena out of commission for a couple of months. The feud will continue and Cena will eventually win, but Wyatt probably takes the first match.
Winner: Bray Wyatt
Random Match To Highlight The Shield
The Shield -800 vs. Kane and The New Age Outlaws +425
Hott Joe: It makes no sense to put the old guys over The Shield, but I still don't think I would bet on it with these odds. The WWE may try some trickery for this match. But they shouldn't. Believe in The Shield.
LJ: It’s upset time, and it’s a big one. Three jabronis taking on one of the coolest groups in years? Seems like an easy choice, but I have a theory. The Shield was about to break up but has become a cohesive unit again. This won’t last long as Roman Reigns needs to have his big singles push. I think the Shield break up happens in this match leading to Kane pinning whatever guy gets left alone in the ring.
Winner: The Shield (Hott Joe)/Old Dudes (Lukewarm Jonah)
The Streak
The Undertaker -3000 vs. Brock Lesnar +900
Hott Joe: The Undertaker is definitely the guy who has been selected to win this match. But still, how awesome would it be if Lesnar went rogue and turned it into the most brutal shoot in wrestling history? It would be glorious. But that's not going to happen.
LJ: Do I really need to pick this match? Undertaker beats Lesnar. I think Lesnar puts on a great match and this could definitely be the match of the night but there is no way Lesnar beats Taker. There will be some great near falls, but Taker always wins, except if Giant Gonzalez makes a return.
Winner: The Undertaker
Vickie Guerrero Divas Championship Invitational
AJ Lee (-300) vs. The Field (+200)
LJ: I’ll take the field in this match. Now AJ Lee is the best Diva on the roster, but she’s been champ for 250 plus days. It’s time for someone else to win the title, more than likely one of the Bellas. I’m actually surprised Lee is a favorite in this match, it seems like it’s being build to some other diva getting a run with the title.
Hott Joe: The WWE doesn't give a shit about the Divas division. Total Divas is far more important to them. It's kind of stupid to have AJ lose her title this way, but there are a ton of other ladies in this match. It just seems like the odds are too good to pass up. I'm taking The Field, and I will take Naomi to win the title, although Eva Marie would make me laugh my ass off.
Winner: The Field, A Bella Twin (Lukewarm Jonah)/Naomi (Hott Joe)
#1 Contender Match (Kind of)
Daniel Bryan -2000 vs. Triple H +800
Hott Joe: Although I could see the WWE pissing off the crowd during WrestleMania, I can't see them doing it for this match. If they do it here, there are going to be nonstop boos for the main event, and although the WWE has enjoyed trolling its fans, they can't even survive that for their biggest show of the year. Daniel Bryan gets his revenge on Triple H and wins the match.
LJ: This may not make any sense after reading that I think Daniel Bryan will win the World Title but I’m very tempted to pick Triple H in this match via screw job, but then the Hulkster will insert Bryan into the match. I wouldn’t bet on this with the terrible odds, but officially I have to take Bryan, he needs to make Trips tap in the middle of the ring and go on to win the World Title.
Winner: Daniel Bryan
WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match
Daniel Bryan -700 vs. Batista +750 vs. Randy Orton +1000 (Triple H is +1200)
LJ: Tough to go against the favorite here. The only conceivable thing they could do is some sort of screw job that lets Batista win, but they’ve been screwing Bryan for six months now. It’s time for him to have his moment here. Bryan is the pick.
Hott Joe: Here is where I feel like the money can be made. I don't see Daniel Bryan winning this match, because he doesn't need this win. As long as he gets his win over Triple H, he has proven himself as a main event wrestler. Winning the title does nothing important for him, and I also see this being the order of the matches, so he will be worn down when this match begins which gives him a built-in excuse. I still think Triple H will do something to prevent him from winning the title, so his only real hope is that Hogan interferes on his behalf. I think Vince McMahon has planned on putting the title on Batista for about six months, and I don't think he's going to change his plan now. I've got Batista winning the title.
Winner: Daniel Bryan (Lukewarm Jonah)/Batista (Hott Joe)
Surprises
Hott Joe: You can't bet on any of this, but I'll predict that CM Punk comes out at the end of WrestleMania and nails Batista with a GTS, so everyone in the crowd can freak out and be happy at the end of the event.
I've been hearing rumors of RVD being one of the three extra entries in the Battle Royal, so sorry if that spoils things for you. I'll go ahead and give Jake "The Snake" Roberts one of the other spots. For the third extra guy, I will take Savio Vega, because Savio Vega is a legend when it comes to surprise appearances.
Hulk Hogan gets involved to help out Daniel Bryan in some way. I hinted at this earlier, but I think Hogan helps out Daniel Bryan at some point in the night. I think it happens in his efforts to beat Triple H, possibly taking out Kane and the New Age Outlaws. Although that just gave me a way better idea of Hulk Hogan being the fourth member of The Shield. That would be Too SWEEEEEEEEEEET.
