Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Supercuts Is The Place To Be

I ain't no fancy boy who needs high-priced haircuts from a hair stylist. I need a cheap place to get a trim. Finger-length on top, three on the sides. I've been going with that style for a while, and although it isn't eye-catching, it is inoffensive, which, as a married adult, is all I really need. Hence, I go to the nearest place that I think will be cheap. A Supercuts seemed like a wise choice; I had no idea how great of a decision this would be.

The lady who is cutting my hair (I'm not sure if she's a hair stylist, barber, or some newfangled term I haven't heard of) is chatting with me and was wondering if I was doing anything special with my day. I told her that I was just going to be hanging with the dog, and I mentioned that I have a weimaraner. This got another lady barber to pipe in, "Oh my God, those are beautiful dogs." She went into great details about all of their best characteristics to the point that she seemed to at least considered the idea of a physical relationship with one. She then goes into how her best friend has one, and how it has such a great personality. Then the following exchange happens:

Lady: The only problem is that the dog liked to jump the fence.
Me: Oh, that's too bad.
Lady: Yeah, and then it got hit by a car.
(Stunned silence)
Me: I'm sorry.
Lady: The dog lived though.
Me: Oh, that's good.
Lady: But the vet bills were $350, and my friend didn't have that, so the vets kept the dog.
Me: That's...tough.
Lady: But at least the dog has plenty of room to run now (Lady walks away).
My Lady Barber: That was an awful story.
Me: (still in stunned silence)

And the fun didn't stop there. After that, another hair stylist came in, and after a little small talk, she drops the bomb of, "Well, I'm getting sued for $100,000." That certainly wouldn't be a casual thing for me, but she took it in stride. She then explained that it was from when she got in a car accident where she hit another car, but it shouldn't have been her fault, because the other person wanted to get in a car accident. How does that work? I have no clue, but she claimed the lady was working to get hit by her car, but the hair stylist lady still obliged and hit her, so not the best decision on her part. Anyway, the medical things this lady who loves car accidents aren't even from the accident, so the hair stylist should get out of this lawsuit.

It takes me about 10 minutes to get a haircut, and somehow they managed to squeeze in yet another insane story. After hearing about the other hair stylist's legal issues, my hair stylist admitted that her uncle was being sued for being involved in a drunk driving incident.

Let me just tell you that you have no idea where this story is going to go next.

Not only was her uncle not the drunk driver, he was actually the victim of the incident. On top of this, her uncle died in the car accident, so the drunk driver is suing the dead uncle for PTSD, because he's been really messed up since killing that dude when he was drunk.


So, yeah, Supercuts is definitely the place to be.

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