Thursday, May 28, 2015

20 Free Cards Against Humanity Cards

People love Cards Against Humanity. Every time I'm around and somebody busts it out, you'd think Justin Bieber just entered a 14-year-old's birthday party. People are pumped, and honestly, that's great. Anything that brings that much joy to adults is a good thing. I had a good time the first time I played. My issue is that after the first time, the novelty really wore off, as the shock factor was gone. And it is expensive to make it feel like the first time. Just to start out with the game, it costs $25, and then it is $10 more if you want some extra cards. I don't know about you, but I don't have an extra $10 just laying around (oh, you do? Well, congratulations Mr. and/or Ms. Fancypants, but even rich people like saving money), so I decided to show a little hustle and DIY this mission and make my own cards.

Here is my list of 20 Cards Against Humanity Cards that should be a great hit with your friends.

Celebrity Edition
Putin's Poontang
Hitler's Taint
Mussolini's Butthole
Stalin's Twisted Testicles
Having sex with Osama bin Laden's gunshot wound.
An All-Obama Orgy
George W. Bush's Bush
Bill Clinton's Drippy Dong
A Drink From Bill Cosby
Hulk Hogan's Sex Tape

Random Provocative Ideas
A dolphin ejaculating so hard that it breaks your neck.
Bearly Legal (Bear Bestiality Porn)
Ejaculating Robitussin
Putting honey on your nutsack and dipping it into an ant hill.

Steel Panther Expansion Pack (These are just titles of Steel Panther songs)
Bukkake Tears (Side tangent: I know there is already a card with Bukkake, and I get really irritated when, in literally every game I play, people pretend to not know what that is. I explain it, and they ask me how I know about it. Uh, because I've been on the internet, and literally a quarter of pages on the world wide web involve it. Tangent over)
Eatin Ain't Cheatin
Fucking My Heart in the Ass
Gangbang at the Old Folks' Home
Weenie Ride

This list took me about five minutes to come up with, and a lot of that was just the time it took to type it. There is no need to pay for new cards. Just make them on your own; I didn't even tap into religious figures and stuck mostly to famous political figures, where you can use people with any sort of fame and put another word for genitalia next to it. This ain't rocket science, folks. Now let the good times roll.

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

What It's Like To Attend an NXT Taping

So, although I have gone to a couple of NXT house shows since moving to Florida, I still had yet to make it to the promised land. That, of course, being the Full Sail Arena where the NXT tapings and Takeover events take place. Although I wasn't able to get tickets for Takeover (those things sell out fast), I was able to get general admission tickets for the tapings of the next four episodes of NXT. Instead of going over the wrestling I saw, I wanted to go over the experience of seeing NXT live.

As I said, tickets for the Takeover events sell out super fast, but for the tapings, it wasn't too hard to get tickets. I think they had tickets up until about two weeks before the show. There is plenty of parking, so that was nice. Also, they allow you to bring in food and drink but no bottle caps. You would have a better chance of getting a gun in there than a bottle cap, but, like, don't bring a gun. Be cool, it's supposed to be a positive place.

The Arena
So I knew that the Full Sail Arena wasn't big, but it definitely looks better on the WWE Network than it does in person. The bleachers only go back ten rows, so it is impossible to have a bad seat. I thought the show started at 6:00, so we got in line at 5:15, thinking doors would open in 15 minutes, but it turned out doors didn't open until 6:00. We were still only about halfway up the line, but we ended up getting third row seats in the bleachers. Even had we shown up at 6:00, we still could have gotten quality seats, as it is a very fan friendly venue.

The Matches
Although I won't go into specifics on the matches, what I will say is that the show does a good job of going fairly quickly, considering they are producing about four hours of wrestling content (the backstage segments are not done during the tapings), as they go through matches fairly quickly, empty the ring, and start the next match. In between shows, there is maybe a three-minute break, so there is very limited down time. What I would say is that the matches were good, not great, as they save the big stuff for the Takeover shows. Still, the matches are fun, and as a fan of old school wrestling, it was nice to see a couple matches just set up to be the classic good wrestler vs. jobber squashes.

The Fans
The fans can basically be broken down into five distinct groups, which is more diverse than I would have expected. Anyway, here are those groups:

People Who Like/Love Pro Wrestling
This is the category I identify with and what I was expecting a lot more of. There were still a decent amount of these people who were just looking forward to watching some good wrestling, cheering the good guys, booing the bad guys and having a good time with it. We understand it is predetermined, but that doesn't mean we don't get lost in the moment from time to time.

People Who Like/Love WWE
I was standing next to an affable gentleman in line, and we got to talking about WWE, and it was pretty clear that we are very different wrestling fans. I like who I like, but this guy liked exactly who the WWE wants him to like. He's a Cena fan, and he thought his match against Rusev at Payback was the match of the night; I thought it was hot garbage. I liked the tag match from Payback, and I'm pretty sure this guy didn't give a shit about that match. Hey, to each their own. These are the fans the WWE wants, and they probably enjoy wrestling more than I do since their favorite wrestlers actually matter.

Super Smark
These people care about pro wrestling, but they, unfortunately, don't know how to love. Instead of embracing everyone for their individuality, these people are there to point out what is wrong. A wrestler got a "Headlock City" chant going, and someone near me yelled out, "That's a chinlock." Dude, the chin is part of the head, it's a form of headlock. There were also lots of people telling a returning wrestler who is not very skilled in the ring. Plenty of people told this guy how awful he was when he did anything, even when it wasn't bad, they had already predetermined that it was going to suck. These are not fun people to be around.

It's Still Real to Me, Damnit
The people who take wrestling way too seriously. I had one of these super fans right in front of me, and she loves Blake and Murphy. Apparently, one of them is dating Alexa Bliss. Also, apparently one of them will say that he is this lady's husband. She is, um, not attractive, so this is definitely not a genuine thing, but she acted as if it was. She was like a 35-year-old adult who defended those guys no matter what they did. Wrestling is very real, and if you say anything bad about Blake and Murphy, she will threaten to fight you and/or have them fight you. This woman was a treasure.

The last set of fans are Gronks. As in, Rob Gronkowski, because he was there. They show up late with 20 mostly gigantic people in Mojo Rawley shirts, where they sit in the front row that was blocked off for them as other people are forced to stand due to there not being enough seats because of Gronk. They wait for Mojo's match, cheer, celebrate, and leave to go Gronk up some other place.

Gronks are the worst, but really, everything else about the NXT experience is pretty great. If you happen to be stuck around Orlando for any period of time, I promise there is no better $10 spent than seeing NXT live.

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

I Hate That Bathroom Attendants Exist

I am not a fan of bathroom attendants. Maybe it is my blue collar mentality that I, a fully functional adult, can wash my hands without anyone's help, and that I don't feel like paying for the privilege of someone else doing the job for me. I was reminded of this fact when I went to some hip bar for young go-getters and had to relieve myself. 

I walked into the bathroom, and this guy is just propped up sitting on a ledge across from the urinals. I'm not gonna lie, I get stage fright at times, no shame in that, so I go into a stall and lock the damn door, because it's super weird that this dude is posted up staring at the urinals. It also gave me a moment to privately ponder bathroom attendants. 

The part that I hate most about bathroom attendants is that the job of a bathroom attendant even exists. I have no issue with the people who do it, as hey, they're making a living. But I cannot imagine anybody just doing it for extra cash, because it seems like a truly awful job. You know there are times where he is just sitting in there and listening to somebody take an awful beer shit. Sure, he's got things to spray, but you can't fully cover up that smell when it is fresh. The only positive of the gig is I'm sure you hear some hilarious drunken bro conversations going on about how they are going to punish, beat up, assault, and bazooka with their dong a lady's private parts. Still, there is no way that makes up for spending an entire night in a bathroom helping people freshen up so they can impress their chosen late-night target.

Anyway, I see this guy, and I just get bummed. He's making a living, so good for him, but I have no intention of paying him anything, because I have a wife which means I already impressed my chosen target. I try to quickly go to the sink and take care of business, but he pops up and gives me soap and puts a paper towel over my shoulder, and I give him a genuine thank you, as I appreciate him doing good work, but it is not work I am willing to pay for. 

Because, come on. Not only can I wash my hands myself, I prefer to wash my hands myself. In fact, if there is a bathroom attendant in there, I would say I am at least 50% less likely to wash my hands at all just so I don't have to deal with the awkward interaction. 

And really, is that so gross? As long as I'm not getting splashback, all I'm doing is touching my dick with my hands. My hands are WAY dirtier than my dick is. If anything, I should be washing my dick. 

Come to think of it, THAT is a service I would pay for.

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Which Chicago Bulls Big Man Needs To Go?

Yet again, the Chicago Bulls have raised my hopes, only to fall well short of getting an NBA Championship. Even without Kevin Love, the Cleveland Cavaliers sent the Bulls home (it was in Chicago, so short drive at least) well short of the ultimate goal. I'm a pretty reasonable sports fan, but there is something about the Bulls that always raises my hopes well beyond their accomplishments. I look at this roster, and it sure looks like it could be potent enough to succeed, but clearly something wasn't right with this team, and things need to change.

It looks like Tom Thibodeau is likely out the door, which I have mixed feelings about. He's an excellent defensive coach, but with the weapons the Bulls have on offense, it sure seems like they could be a more potent team on that side of the ball. The trap he fell into was sticking with certain big guys while ignoring their most efficient lineups. But with Gasol, Noah, Gibson, and Mirotic, the Bulls simply don't have enough minutes to fully take advantage of those players' skill-sets. So it's time to look at the roster and figure out which guy has to go to best give the Bulls a chance to take a step forward.

4. Nikola Mirotic
Yeah, this guy ain't going anywhere. He's by far the youngest guy on the front line, and he's also closest to the ideal of what a power forward should look like now that most teams have realized threes are worth more than twos. His defense is atrocious, but he's athletic enough to at least become adequate there. He's pretty cheap for the next couple years, so I really can't see any reason to get rid of this guy.

3. Taj Gibson
This is the most commonly talked about guy who needs to be traded away, but I think his versatility is needed for the Bulls. He's the perfect third big man, as he can defend centers, while also being able to step out on stretch-fours and even providing reasonable defense on wings since he does a pretty solid job when matched up against LeBron. It's a decent contract for what he provides, and it's about to look pretty good when the cap goes up. I know this is everyone's knee-jerk answer to who should be traded, but I do not see him being the best option.

2. Joakim Noah
Is Joakim Noah done? That is the question Bulls fans have to be asking themselves. Now, obviously he's not going to retire, but is he only going downhill from his performance this past year, or can he bounce back to his 2013-2014 season form when he was Defensive Player of the Year and an incredibly valuable playmaker. It seems like knee injuries are things that often take a year to fully recover from, so I'm betting on the latter. If he can get close to that form, pairing him up with Mirotic in the starting lineup makes the Bulls an incredibly dangerous team.

1. Pau Gasol
And that leaves Pau. I really like Pau and find it hard to argue that any big man was nearly as valuable as he was this season. But I'm not sure how well he would fit in if the Bulls are going to take the next steps to a championship. He is not a good pairing with Mirotic, and I think Mirotic needs to be the starter. He had an incredible season, his contract is a great deal, so he should be able to fetch something pretty dang good in return. It hurts, because Pau seems like one of the best dudes in the NBA (and he's really good at basketball), but it makes sense for the Bulls to get rid of one of their big guys (and no, Cameron Bairstow does not count), so that makes Gasol is the odd man Paut.

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

What USA Wrestling Could Learn From WWE NXT

If you really want to irritate/anger freestyle wrestling fans, tell them it needs to be more like professional wrestling. Now let me just state up front that I am not advocating for predetermined feuds and finishes. Still, something needs to be done in order to drum up interest for freestyle wrestling in the United States, and WWE's NXT promotion actually set up a solid blueprint that USA Wrestling should follow.

This was what popped in my head as I was watching the US Open from last weekend. I kept thinking about it, because the event, held in Las Vegas, was maybe 20% full for the finals matches. And they did the same thing with the World Cup a few months ago with it in Los Angeles. There were more people rooting for Iran than were rooting for USA in the finals. That isn't pathetic; that's embarrassing.

Now I understand what the committee was thinking. Put great wrestling events all around the country to cultivate a nationwide following to support the sport. That's a great long-term goal, but wrestling isn't ready for that sort of leap; they need to take baby steps first.

This is where NXT really comes in. NXT basically runs as an independent wrestling promotion. It started off, slowly gained popularity near Orlando, FL. They did all of their taped events at one venue and then traveled throughout Florida for house shows. They kept putting on wildly entertaining shows in front of a packed house that was thoroughly invested, and honestly, it just looked like a great time to go see a show live. Now it is a phenomenon that can occasionally travel anywhere in the country and sell out wherever they go.

That is what USA Wrestling needs to do. Let's face it. The Midwest and Pennsylvania are the only areas that have a passionate fan base, and honestly, those are the only places that should have USA wrestling events (There is also Beat the Streets in Times Square, but that's a special attraction. Italy probably doesn't care about wrestling, but if they put matches in the Colosseum, people would come to see the spectacle). But just look at this Finals match between Brent Metcalf and Jordan Oliver. This would be sad for an early round match, but it's just sad considering that these are two of the top 20 wrestlers in the world at their weight, fighting for their shot to be the top dog in the United States.

And when you see elite wrestlers in front of mostly empty arenas, does that look like fun? No, it doesn't, and it doesn't help progress the sport in this country.

USA Wrestling is in a weird spot, as they have all of the best wrestlers in the country, but this country still cares more about college wrestling. Even if USA Wrestling holds their events in the hotbeds of wrestling, they still probably aren't selling out big-time arenas. But if they put it in a consistent spot, it will grow in popularity, because they already have a fantastic product. Get it on a real TV channel, even if it's not live, and just expose people to the product.

But patience is the key. It will take some time, but focusing on one area, and achieving success there is the first step. USA Wrestling isn't ready to branch out. Stick to the core audience, and slowly spread out. In April, the Olympic Trials are in Iowa City, a perfect spot for them. 2020 might need to be there too, but by 2024 you can go out to Philly, and by 2028, maybe you hit New York, and then 2032 can be in Vegas or LA. USA Wrestling doesn't like taking cues from the fake version of the sport, but it could learn a lot about building up their brand by looking at NXT.

Monday, May 18, 2015

Chicago Bears 2015 Draft Breakdown: The Undrafted Free Agents

The Chicago Bears draft was a mixed bag. Although I would have liked to see them wait on wide receiver, I can understand them being excited about the potential of Kevin White. Eddie Goldman has a high ceiling as a nose tackle, but his inconsistent play is the reason he wasn't a first rounder. Hroniss Grasu is an athletic center that could start immediately. Jeremy Langford runs fast, but I don't see upside or need in the pick, so it was probably my least favorite. Adrian Amos is versatile, but tackling is not in the list of things he can do. Finally, Tayo Fabuluje is super big, surprisingly athletic, but he has a history of being out of shape which is worrisome, but it's a sixth round pick, so it's a nice bet on upside.

After the draft, the Bears signed a number of players, and although usually there wouldn't be enough there for me to break it down, the Bears made maybe my favorite undrafted free agent signing of any team, so I wanted to quickly highlight three of the players that have a shot at making this year's roster.

Shane Carden - QB - East Carolina
I'm not going to beat around the bush. This is my guy. After looking at the incoming crop of quarterbacks, I ranked Carden fourth behind the big two and Brett Hundley. The big knock on Carden is a lack of arm strength, but he was a good decision maker and knew how to read the field. Obviously, a certain level of arm strength is needed, but Carden's mechanics led to his legs being a non-factor in his delivery. If Adam Gase is the right coach to help him generate strength from his legs in his throws, the Bears could have the biggest steal in franchise history. You can check out my in-depth look at Carden here.

Levi Norwood - WR - Baylor
Norwood would have probably been drafted had he been able to flip his 2013 and 2014 seasons. Everything went right for him in 2013 as injuries opened up a spot in the slot where he excelled for the Baylor Bears. In 2014, he was at the opposite end of that injury spectrum where he got injured early and passed up on the depth chart by high upside younger players. The key to somebody like Norwood is his ability to play on special teams, as he will definitely start as the fifth or sixth receiver on the roster. If he can be valuable there, he will be given the time to mature into a threat in the slot.

Jacoby Glenn - CB - Central Florida
Glenn is a young guy who just made plays last year for UCF. In fact, he made so many plays that he was the AAC's co-defensive player of the year and a second team All-American. Coming out as a redshirt sophomore, he is still only 21 years-old, which means he fits into two of my favorite categories. Being young means there is greater room for improvement, and I will always like guys who have a nose for the ball, and his seven interceptions definitely prove that. So why did he fall? Mostly 40 time. It's not size, as he's 6'0" tall, but he did only run a 4.64, and honestly, he wasn't very good in any of the drills. Still, a guy who made plays in college is definitely somebody I want to bring into training camp.

The Bears obviously signed a lot more guys than just this, but I wanted to highlight some of the names I was more familiar with to show their potential to stick with the Bears despite not being drafted. The Bears are not a deep (or talented, for that matter) team, so there will be opportunities. It's up to these guys to go out and earn them.

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Chicago Bears 2015 Draft Breakdown: Tayo Fabuluje

With the Bears final pick, they selected Tayo Fabuluje, a giant offensive tackle out of TCU and BYU, and back to TCU again. He is massive, and that's good, but he has struggled with his massivity (no way that's a real word). But the Bears definitely could use some help on the offensive line, so I watched his game against Oklahoma to see how he might be able to impact the Bears.

So, yeah, on tape, the first thing that jumps out is this guy is huge. Excellent massivity. It seemed like sometimes pass rushers wouldn't give a real rush, because it was just going to take too long to get around him. I feel like he used his size better in pass protection than he did in run blocking. He was able to set and use his power on pass rushers, but often didn't do a good job of getting good angles and pushing guys in the right direction on run plays. His weakness as a pass rusher is that he got comfortable setting up to the outside, so any move towards the inside often left him reaching for the defender.

Despite his size, he was actually fairly light on his feet. He looked like a good athlete. Overall, I was more impressed than I expected to be for a sixth round pick. With his size and mobility, I would have thought that he was a more highly touted prospect.

Despite those raw skills, there are still issues. The first is his love of football, as his weight has been an option, and he has transferred repeatedly between TCU and BYU. Still, there are factors outside of football that may have influenced those decisions, and I'm not one to hold a huge grudge against people in their early 20s for making decisions that may not make sense in the long run.

On the field, his size can become an issue with his endurance. Towards the end of drives, he seemed to lack explosiveness and just seemed worn down in the second half of the game where he was much heavier on his feet and that led to him occasionally getting thrown around despite his significant size advantage.

Overall, I like the thinking in this pick. It's definitely a risk as this is a guy who may get cut before training camp is over. Still, it comes with some excellent upside, as he has excellent size and nice mobility for a man his size. These are the types of picks teams should be going for late in the draft. Welcome aboard, Tayo.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Chicago Bears 2015 Draft Breakdown: Adrian Amos

With their pick in the fifth round, the Chicago Bears took Adrian Amos, a safety out of Penn State. I was fairly bitter at this point, so I mentioned that Amos had been an honorable mention for All B1G the last three years, which basically just means that he played in a lot of games and showed a baseline competence. Not the sexiest accomplishment out there. But I'd be lying if I said I had ever focused on Amos's game, so I decided to watch his games against Ohio State and Indiana and see what I could figure out about the Bears new defensive back.

Watching his game against Indiana, I was initially taken aback by how little balance he seemed to have on contact. He got put on skates when blocked, and he seemed to trip over his own feet when trying to make a tackle when the quarterback broke free.

And if you are expecting a big, hard-hitting safety, you are sure to be disappointed by Amos. He not only does not provide any sort of big hits, he seems to actively avoid contact. He's no thumper, and even being a humper would be a huge step up in the way that he finds ways to get blocked as opposed to making open-field tackles.

The most appealing trait that Amos has is his versatility. It is tough to judge a safety in his coverages, but he seemed to be in the right area at the right times. Where he really impressed was when he came up to the line of scrimmage and played press-man coverage successfully against larger receiving targets.

Overall, I'm not sure if that versatility makes up for the fact that he doesn't shine in any one area and is a below average tackler. Having a safety that can come down and cover a slower wide receiver is great, but having a safety who doesn't tackle well means that you just have a replacement level corner. Coverage is something that is very difficult to judge from the sideline camera, so maybe the Bears were able to see something I wasn't, but from what I saw on film, I don't see anything more than depth at the safety position. 

Monday, May 11, 2015

Chicago Bears 2015 Draft Breakdown: Jeremy Langford

Through the Bears first three picks, I thought the Bears were having an okay draft. I wasn't particularly excited, but I understood the logic behind the picks, as they were more necessary than they were sexy. In the fourth round, I started to swear off the Bears. They drafted running back, Jeremy Langford, out of Michigan State. This tweet summed up my feelings pretty well:
The Bears had made me angry yet again. But I needed to calm down and see what the Bears actually got in Langford. I knew that although I watched a lot of B1G football, I may have underrated him since Michigan State did not play Iowa this year, so I didn't get a comprehensive look at him. Now it is time to right this wrong and watch his games against Purdue and Baylor to see if Langford is secretly B1G Todd Gurley (Spoiler alert: He's not).

The good news is he appears to be a patient runner who knows how to follow his blocks. He doesn't just run as hard as he can into a pile when a little patience might allow something bigger to open up. I will say that the patience isn't always a good thing, as he sometimes gets caught just tiptoeing around and is an easy tackle instead of attacking. He can wait to a fault, where he has to learn in the NFL, he is going to have lane one or a cutback lane; lane three is closed for repair.

Because of this dancing around in the backfield, he often doesn't generate much power in his runs, so he often gets driven backwards when tackled instead of falling forward for extra yards.

Another positive is that he has impressive speed when he gets into the open field. This run against Purdue is a good example of that.
He gets the outside, easily breaks the tackle from the defensive back, and then puts on the burners as he goes down the sideline. This makes sense as his 40 time was one of the best in this draft class. Unfortunately, his ability to cut and accelerate is pretty unimpressive as he was very poor in the shuttle and 3-cone drill. I think those latter drills are far more important for running backs where quickness is more important than speed.

I mean, if he plays Purdue every game, he should have an incredibly successful career. Is that possible? It's not? Oh. Well, then things may be slightly more difficult. I don't see a lead back in Langford, but I do think he could be a solid backup. Langford just simply doesn't impress me. On talent alone, it is not a good pick. Considering it was the fourth round, in this loaded draft of running backs, with David Cobb still available, when the Bears were fine at running back but have nothing but holes on defense, this was a very bad pick. I just don't get it.

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Chicago Bears 2015 Draft Breakdown: Hroniss Grasu

In the third round, the Bears looked to bolster their offensive line by getting a center. That center was Oregon's Hroniss Grasu. Just like in the second round, this was definitely a need pick, as the Bears parted ways with the aging Roberto Garza, so they needed somebody to snap the ball, or otherwise they would always get called for delay of game. Hopefully Grasu provides more than that, and to find out, I took a look at his game against Florida State to see what he brings to the table.

I would say that he moves very well for a center. He appears light on his feet when he is pulling and is pretty fluid in all of his movements. This helps when he is doing a combo block as he is able to help his teammate with a block before moving to the next level to take out a linebacker.

Strength looked like an issue as when Oregon was at the goal line against Florida State, he got stood up and driven backwards by Eddie Goldman (Good news is he will only be practicing against Goldman from here on). Also, he isn't a guy who was ever pancaking guys, even linebackers, but he stayed solid and maintained his block.

Admittedly, using sideline view to judge a center is not ideal. There's just a lot going on, they are rarely responsible for one-on-one assignments, and they can get blurred in the middle of the line. The All-22 is way more ideal, but using what is available, Grasu looks like an above average athlete who may only have average strength. He got pushed around at the goal line by Goldman, but most centers do struggle with the power of 350 pound nose tackles, so it's hard to ding the guy for that. He's a third round center; he's not going to excite you, but he has the ingredients to be solid. 

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Chicago Bears 2015 Draft Breakdown: Eddie Goldman

With the seventh pick in the second round, the Bears selected Eddie Goldman, a nose tackle out of Florida State. Since the Bears are transitioning to a 3-4 defense, nose tackle was one of their biggest needs, so on a strictly need basis, this pick makes a ton of sense. Still, reviews were mixed for Eddie Goldman, so I wanted to take a closer look and figure out exactly what the Bears got with this second round pick. Thanks to Draft Breakdown, I was able to watch his games against Florida and Louisville.

I had the following two thoughts after his Florida game:

1. The thing that most worries me about Goldman is that he is SLOW off the ball. Like everybody is moving, and then a beat later, he gets out of his stance. Offensive linemen were on him before he even had a chance to get any momentum going, and it was baffling to see. The ball is usually snapped right under his damn nose, and he was just hanging out in his three point stance, hoping a coach would bring him ice cream (no coach ever did in the games I watched).

2. When he finally got moving, he almost went to just stand straight up instead of plowing forward, so linemen got underneath him. For a nose tackle, I saw a single center or single guard take care of blocking him alone WAY too many times. The number one job of a nose tackle is occupying blockers to help others make plays. If he is getting handled by a single dude, he is really fighting an uphill battle to becoming a valuable asset. He's not going to make a ton of plays, but he has to be good enough to put his teammates in position to make plays.

I seriously thought he may be the worst player in the draft from what I saw in that game. It was shockingly bad. Then I watched his game against Louisville, and he was a completely different player.

He may have still been a hair slow coming off the ball, but it was nothing like the Florida game, and he was still able to get good leverage and power through offensive linemen. He got stood up and blocked easily in the Florida game, but he brought that ass in this game and just powered through Louisville's o-line.

And there was no lollygagging for him. He got after it. This play shows that hustle.

That's not just impressive hustle for a nose tackle, that'd be impressive hustle for a linebacker. He can't quite catch the running back, but he had a little help from his friends.

Watch what he does to the Louisville right guard on this play.
That is simply not fair. Unfair, some might say.

There was a little technique on that last play. You want to just see brute strength from him? Yeah, I can do that.
That center is absolutely helpless there. That's the kind of potential that Goldman brings to the Bears.

After taking everything in, I would say that his ceiling may be even higher than Danny Shelton's. When this guy goes, he GOES, and he looks like an unstoppable force. It's a ton of fun to watch. But this guy could also be released before his rookie contract ends if he is not motivated and shows more of that Florida-Goldman. If the Bears think they can keep him motivated, it should turn into a great pick. A nose tackle's job is take up space, but if Goldman isn't motivated, he'll only be a waste of it.

Monday, May 4, 2015

Chicago Bears 2015 Draft Breakdown: Kevin White

Kevin White is a big, physical, super athletic receiver. Those are all very good things. I lambasted the draft pick on Twitter when it was made, but I do believe that the best draft strategy is taking the best player available and only drafting for need when you see two prospects as very closely rated. Personally, I would have gone with Vic Beasley, but the Bears clearly thought very high of Kevin White, and if he was their top dude, then it was the right decision, even if there will be receiver options much later in this draft (Side note: All teams should try to get one spot ahead of the Bears. Last year, Aaron Donald, and this year, Leonard Williams. I really need to stop getting my hopes up and just take my dog for a long walk or something during the draft). Anyway, I admittedly didn't do a ton of research on the top receivers, so I wanted to take a deeper look at Kevin White and see exactly just what the Bears got with the seventh overall pick.

One thing that is undeniable about Kevin White is that he is an explosive athlete. He shows that on this play against Oklahoma where he does a stutter and go, and the Oklahoma cornerback is helpless.
It's a stutter step to the outside and OU's corner makes one false step before White breaks up the field and is gone at that point. He gets about five yards of separation and Trickett throws a nice ball out there, but he has the type of raw physical tools that are going to make him a tough cover at the next level. And just for fun, here's the end zone view of the play.

When you have speed like White, it can really open things up, and this player later in the Oklahoma game shows that.
He has the cornerback so scared of him going deep that he is still three yards away when he catches the ball on a quick curl. That gives him space to make things happen, and he is able to evade the corner and pick up a first down on what is a very simple route and throw. The impressive thing about his game against Oklahoma is how bad he made Zack Sanchez look in this game. Sanchez is a pretty decent NFL prospect for 2016 (if he declares), and he looked totally outmatched at times against White. Competition is something that gets overlooked too often, so this was an incredibly impressive display by White.

When he gets in the open field, he is a guy that creates yards with his strength more than with his quickness. He looks to bull guys over, as he isn't great at making guys miss with the ball in his hands. If he goes up against a corner who isn't very physical, White is likely going to eat his lunch.

Another thing I like about White is that he is always putting his hands away from his body to catch the ball. He is not a body catcher, which is a skill that will not translate to the NFL. Here, he does an excellent job of high-pointing the football and attacking it with his hands to make the touchdown catch.
You can't do it much better than that. And here's another angle for funsies.

If you think it's a fluke, this may help change your mind.
Dude really doesn't like Alabama.

I also looked at his athletic traits using Mock Draftable's excellent web graphs to show where guys rank at their position. Basically, he's big, strong, and fast, but he's not going to beat people with his quickness.

He also had a very interesting top comparison in Braylon Edwards. Edwards is seen as more of a bust now, but he was really good early on until his inability to catch the ball finally caught up with him. Still, a Braylon Edwards that can catch is a pretty valuable asset and somebody who can immediately pay dividends in the red zone. Although I would have liked to see the defense get a boost, Kevin White probably has the highest ceiling of any receiver in this draft. It's tough to be too mad about that.