Thursday, October 15, 2020

WWE Is Ruining... Slapjack / Shane Thorne


Shane Thorne is an incredibly talented wrestler who kind of lost his way once his tag partner, Nick Miller (not from New Girl), now Mikey Nicholls, left the company to move back to Australia. He went from one half of a promising tag team to being treated as singles enhancement talent as creative didn't have anything for him. It didn't mean he was any less talented, but he was just kind of passing time.

So it's great that he found his way onto Raw as his talent can be appreciated. Still, his Retribution name is Slapjack, and I immediately want to call him Slapdick every time I think about his name. Once I get to slapdick, I think of Slapnuts, so then I'm thinking Jeff Jarrett in WCW, which then makes me think of Vince Russo becoming World Champion, which is definitely the most egregious world championship in professional wrestling history. 

Wait, what were we talking about?

Oh, yes, Shane "Slapdick" Thorne. All we can really hope for right now is that Retribution has some direction now that Mustafa Ali has joined them. I think he would be an ideal fit in the tag division, especially since two of his Retribution cohorts are very large human beings where he could carry most of the match before Mace comes in and cleans house as an overwhelming monster. 

Oh, and get rid of that stupid ass mask.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Aiden English
AJ Styles
Cedric Alexander
Cesaro
Chad Gable
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Thursday, October 8, 2020

WWE Is Ruining... Dio Maddin / Mace


Retribution is a great way to demonstrate that WWE doesn't care so neither should you. It's so stupid and aggravating, and I know I shouldn't care, but I know pro wrestling, especially with the stupid amount of talent the WWE has, should be great. Still, the WWE does everything in their power to make it as boring and pointless as possible.

I know people haven't seen a lot of Dio Maddin wrestling, but he is good enough in the ring from what I saw on the NXT House Show circuit. Where WWE is just stupid, Maddin was stupid as fun as he would dramatically sit in the corner and fans would chant, "Holy Sit." I guess you just had to be there.

He's got enough mic skills as they trusted him to be a Raw announcer, and he's pretty damn big. So the guy has a lot of qualities going for him.

Now he is Mace, as part of Retribution, and I hope they get the masks off these guys sooner rather than later. He actually has a reason for wanting to be in Retribution. He was brought up too soon, made a commentator, and then viciously attacked by Brock Lesnar without anyone coming to his aid, or even mentioning him once he had been injured. There was no letter writing campaign for Dio Maddin like when Earthquake crushed Hulk Hogan's ribs. This is something to want retribution for. 

So, yep, that is my simple solution. Ditch the stupid mask and find specific reasons that he feels aggrieved, and you might just be able to tell an interesting, and more importantly, coherent, story.


Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Aiden English
AJ Styles
Cedric Alexander
Cesaro
Chad Gable
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Thursday, October 1, 2020

WWE Is Ruining... Daniel Bryan


I am what many would call a Daniel Bryan hater. It's not that I even dislike Daniel Bryan; I think he's very good, but I'm not a fan to the extent that many are a fan of Bryan's, which therefore gets me labeled as a hater. I'll admit that before his big push, I didn't really see star potential in him. He was a good wrestler, but his most memorable personality trait was his friendship with Derrick Bateman. 

Anyway, he greatly exceeded what I thought was possible by becoming the biggest star in pro wrestling for a while. And good for him. Even if I wasn't the biggest fan, it was still awesome to see.

Then, unfortunately, it looked like his career was over, but after a three-year hiatus, he got a clean bill of health and was able to come back. Since then, he has looked very close to the same wrestler he was before his injury, and he's always a guy who will be able to put on a fun match. He even won the WWE Championship again as well as winning the tag titles with Rowan. 

Most recently, he was looking to gain the Intercontinental Title, first coming up short against Sami Zayn before later coming up short against AJ Styles after Zayn was stripped of the title for staying home during the early months of the pandemic. 

Since that loss to Styles, he has been off television, but has kept busy by having his second child. So the question really becomes how to bring him back.

Really, Smackdown has things lined up perfectly for his return. After Roman Reigns disposes of The Fiend, hopefully in a Goldbergian like squash match, Reigns will clearly be the biggest, baddest thing in all of professional wrestling. Who better to take on the The Big Dog than the ultimate underdog? Daniel Bryan as the plucky babyface taking on the ultra heelish Roman Reigns is an ideal stylistic matchup. That's not just a main event, that's a WrestleMania main event. Right now, it seems as if time is standing still, but the Royal Rumble isn't that far away, and a surprise return from Daniel Bryan to come back and win the thing to take on Roman Reigns sounds like a perfect way to end WrestleMania 37. 

That's a story that even a Daniel Bryan hater could get excited about.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Aiden English
AJ Styles
Cedric Alexander
Cesaro
Chad Gable
Posted by at 1 comment:
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