Monday, May 8, 2017

A Tiny Asian Woman Gave Me the Key to Happiness

The other day I took Casey The Dog to the park so we could both get some fresh air and stretch our legs. Casey had adoring fans all over the park who thought she was such a good looking dog, so cute, and so sweet; three compliments I never receive myself.

After talking with how cute Casey was to a mother with her two small children, they walked away as Casey stared down a squirrel. When she got bored with that, I turned around and a small (definitely under 5 feet tall) Asian woman appeared out of thin air. I had pretty good sight lines all around me, but somehow she snuck up on me.

She was smiling and seemed friendly, and yes, I understand that typing that sentence makes me sound like I'm talking about a stray dog, but weird shit happens to me, so I've learned to embrace it. I'm an incredibly approachable person, because I'm 150 pounds of twisted steel and sex appeal, and I rarely wear underwear. So my new friend struck up a conversation with me.

Although she had a heavy accent, she was committed to teaching me. And teach me she did. I found out that the key to happiness is a simple phrase that, if repeated, will take all of your troubles away. We went over this phrase together repeatedly, and I wasn't sure if we were ever going to part ways, or if I was going to just keep chanting Nam-Myo-Ho-Ren-Ge-Kyo until the end of time. But she had such a happy demeanor, I really wasn't anxious to get away, no matter how many times we repeatedly went through the phrase. I was achieving inner peace.

Finally, Casey The Dog saw a squirrel, and we were forced to part ways. When I turned around, she was gone, leaving me with nothing but this card.

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