Chris Harrison - He hosts the show. He does a fine job. Occasionally he'll talk to Juan Pablo. We very rarely learn anything important from these talks. Yep, that's about all there is to say about Chris Harrison.
Juan Pablo - The first non-Caucasian bachelor. He's bringing in the latino market, since he's a former Venezuelan soccer player. Well, I mean, he's still Venezuelan, but he doesn't play soccer anymore. Actually, he does still play soccer, but not professionally. Oh, and he has a daughter that he loves very much but is willing to abandon for a month to be on a reality show (twice, since he also did this as a contestant on The Bachelorette). The thing about bachelors is that they are not allowed to have much personality, and he plays this part fairly well. He supports the ladies emotionally, but he also does creepy stuff like make girls get naked with him after knowing them for a week. Seriously, he made two girls get naked with him and used the excuse of saving animals. But trust me, dude, animals don't care about naked chicks. You were just being a perv. But, just so you know, most bachelors are creeps; he might be above average on the creep level, but he's not an outlier.
What does she bring to the table besides being a law-lady? Well, she's super attractive, and she comes across as a real person. Remember how I told you about how Juan Pablo made two ladies get naked with him? One of them was a hippy who had already been naked for most of the show, and the other was Andi. She was pissed off, because it was pretty shady, but she still did it because she's a trooper and loves puppies. I'm still pretty steamed at JP for doing this to my special lady (well, special lady may be a bit extreme. I mean, I am married. She's more of a theoretical slampiece, but she's still very important to me). She's basically avoided the drama, seems to have a solid head on her shoulder and we also learned that she can't dance. That girl is stiff as a board. Luckily, West Coast Dance brings out the best in all ladies, so I got you covered, Andi Candy (that's a nickname I'm workshopping right now).
So that brings me to the previews for next week, which can be found here. It's only two minutes, so I'll wait.
Okay, so if you watched it, you know what I'm talking about. If you didn't, all you need to know is my girl Andi said, "Waking up this morning, I could not wait to get out of the fantasy suite."
Which was followed by Chris Harrison saying, "What happens in the fantasy suite doesn't stay in the fantasy suite...what went horribly wrong?"
What do you think Juan Pablo did? My guess is that he tried to pull a Kobe Bryant, and she had to fight him off. My much more realistic guess is that he called her another woman's name in the fantasy suite. Either way, I can't wait to find out.
So, yeah, as you can tell, I have thought on The Bachelor.