Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Never Use Housekeeping

Whether it be for work or pleasure, I have traveled a fair amount in my day. And despite my white trash tendencies, I have stayed in some pretty upscale places. Those were all work related. I have also stayed in some dumps, because I'm a cheap piece of shit, and my wife has to convince me that maybe the Murder Inn is not the best place to spend an evening.

But through that time, I feel like I have learned some important lessons. The most important of these lessons is the relative worthlessness of housekeeping during your stay. Now, before I get going, let me say that they are VERY important between stays as I depend on them to not be lying in a mixture of blood, semen, and bedbugs. But once I get there, I really see no purpose in them coming in my room each day.

First off, I hate having the sheets tucked in. Seriously, who wants to be tucked that tight? I rarely wear shoes or underwear, because I am a man who needs freedom. Getting in one of those super tucked beds is one of the most aggravating feelings in the world. Nobody can possibly enjoy being tucked in like that. It is already too much of a struggle to get those sheets untucked. To have housekeeping come in and retuck might be too much for me to physically remove, and it is most certainly too much for me to mentally go through that struggle again.

Also, it's not like I need extra towels. Most of my trips to hotels are three nights or less. I can use a towel for three straight days without much stress. Even if I do need more towels or toiletries, I can get that separate without getting the whole housekeeping service.

Finally, I like my stuff where I leave my stuff. I don't need things moved around and put into proper places, because I like things laying around with no rhyme or reason as I thrive in chaos. I don't need things put in drawers and me having to search all around because a random woman, or man (I'm progressive), decided this was the best method moving forward. 

The only people that can justify using housekeeping are complete slobs who make the room into a shithole in a matter of hours and total sociopaths who enjoy the feeling of being tucked in. The former needs to clean up their act, and the latter needs professional help; not even housekeeping can save you from that.

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