I know you are laughing at me right now, and I'm not even mad about that. It's totally understandable, and I was hesitant to write this post, because I knew how outlandish the idea was at first glance, but I also 100% believe that going to pro wrestling will not only be acceptable, but a desirable weekend night out.
When I talk about pro wrestling, let me make it clear that I am not referring to the WWE. The WWE has, by far, the most talent in the world, and I would be fine if I never saw another WWE arena show again in my life. They are the ketchup of the pro wrestling world; popular mostly because availability and reliability, but you're rarely wowed by ketchup. WWE is fine, but WWE is not nearly as fun.
Instead, I am talking about independent wrestling. Many independent wrestling shows are 21+ which means there are no children there, and drinking is not only allowed but encouraged. The value of the former is that independent wrestling is allowed to put on a show for adults. They will cuss, be sexually provocative, and occasionally fly into the crowd. The value of the latter is that everything is better when you can have a beer of seven.
I have been fortunate to see some really awesome events. I love sporting events, but they all have their issues. Baseball can be slow, football is always slow, basketball and hockey are great, but they have their fair share of blowouts, soccer ain't too bad, but it ain't too great either, and golf is nice because you get to be outside and walk around, but it isn't that much better than just a day at a park.
On the cultural side, I have seen great bands, entertaining plays, and even a few musicals, but even at their best, they can't compare to pro wrestling (although Steel Panther does come close).
Here's the thing: Pro wrestling is the best of both worlds. First off, it involves insane athleticism. I know they are not necessarily competing against each other, but instead with each other, but you get the same high of watching people compete. Also, with them competing together, they can do far more to put on a better show. When going to a sports contest, you are lucky to see a handful of memorable athletic feats, but you will likely see at least that many in most live wrestling matches. And if your only argument is, "Durr, it's fake," all I can say is that it may be predetermined, but there are certain things that you simply cannot fake, and you and I would both likely vomit from pain and exhaustion if we were put through a five minute wrestling match.
Oh yeah, it also adds the characters and built-in drama that you would see on stage. Are some of the characters over-the-top and cheesy? Of course they are, but let's take a step back and recognize that rapping Alexander Hamilton and singing cats are as stupid as anything pro wrestling has done, and people seem to be just fine with that. Oh yeah, and every single performance is unique. I haven't seen Hamilton, but I can tell you how it ends. In wrestling, the script changes, and even though it is predetermined, you WILL pick a wrestler to cheer for. It's logically stupid, but it's just like a TV show or movie, where you find characters you pull for, and characters you want to see horrible things happen to, and doing it live adds so much fun.
And although I mentioned it being scripted, it's much more of an outline, and the outline is basically, start off like this, do a bunch of cool shit in the middle, finish with this. That do a bunch of cool shit in the middle is not only awesome, but you can help influence it. If you see two brutal chops to a man's chest that are so loud and hard that it sounds like a shotgun blast, you can start a "One more time" chant to get that poor wrestler even more abused. When you see something great, you can repeatedly yell "This is awesome." And if you see something disturbing, it is more than acceptable to chant, "You sick fuck" at the wrestler. Let's face it, we'd all be happier if we got to call people sick fucks more often.
Now, I must admit that Defy and Progess put on INCREDIBLE shows. They had it all; action, drama, comedy, and over the two nights, I probably saw two matches that I would consider average, where everything else was good to "OH MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT IS HAPPENING." I'm a fan of brutality, so seeing a guy from Austria named WALTER (it's in all caps so you know he's awesome) brutalize opponents will always appeal to me. There were also genetic freaks like Brian Cage, possibly the next big thing in all of wrestling with Shane "Swerve" Strickland, incredibly crazy luchadors like Bandido, and even some comedy with Trent Seven. Shit, man, this show even bucked the stereotype that wrestling is only for backwoods rednecks by having well-respected women wrestlers like Toni Storm and, GASP, positive representations of homosexuals with the tag team of Sexy Starr. When I type all of that out, I refuse to believe there is a person out there that wouldn't want to see an independent wrestling show.
Not all independent shows are going to be at that level so you may not see that great of variety of amazing wrestling, but you would be surprised at how many places have incredibly good shows. You can find a great show in any major city, and even if you live in a smaller city, there is always independent wrestling. Sure, you might not be watching future superstars, but the beer is probably cheaper, and that's tough to beat.
Considering the cost of live entertainment, you can definitely find an affordable show, and there is no such thing as a bad seat, because they are always in very small buildings. The shows I went to were about as expensive as it gets, but there are very few shows that you can't get into for $20 or less. I went to a show in Tampa where I was in the third row, and if I did a 180 in my seat, I was bellied up to the bar - best of both worlds.
Will you watch some things and think, "Oh, that is so stupid?" Yeah, of course you will. Even I think some things are stupid, and there are pro wrestlers that I simply don't care for. But on the whole, you are going to find way more things to like than not. At its best, you're giggling with excitement at what you are seeing, and at worst, you are giggling at the performers, but either way you're smiling and having a good time. All I'm saying is to give it a chance, because I would hate to see you realizing five years down the line that you could have seen the most incredible combination of athleticism and drama, but you were too much of a nerd to realize how cool it was to go to a wrestling show.
No comments:
Post a Comment