Monday, September 27, 2010

College Football Thoughts

The blog took a hiatus, and while some may think that it was because I went into a deep, dark depression over Iowa's loss to Arizona, my life is not quite pathetic enough where Iowa's performance determines my mood for weeks at a time.

Despite it being very late to be talking about this, let's discuss the Iowa-Arizona game. It wasn't mistakes that killed the Hawkeyes. Sure, having a punt blocked, an interception returned for a touchdown, and a kickoff returned for a touchdown. But Arizona muffed a punt, and had an intereception returned for a touchdown as well. With that, these two teams are even, but Iowa made one more mistake. That's not the case. Iowa is a superior team to Arizona, and nobody will be able to convince me otherwise. The reason the Hawkeyes lost is they played flat throughout most of the game. It happens, even to great teams. Alabama played flat against Arkansas, but Alabama has way more talent than Iowa will ever have, so it is much easier for them to make up for an off performance. If Iowa executes in every one of their final games, they can beat anybody that faces them, but the Big Ten is tough this year, so if they play flat, they may not be able to eke out a victory, even if they are facing inferior competition.

Sticking with the Hawkeyes, Mike Daniels was holy shit badass insane motherfucking killer yesterday. Wow. Him and Binns should mean that the 2011 d-line should at least be solid after we lose three very good guys after this year.

The seeds were already planted, as he had torn up defenses on NCAA 2011, but Marcus Coker seems like he's going to be legit. Also, prepare for the gayest thing that I have ever (or will ever, hopefully) say on this blog. Did you see the ass on Marcus Coker? It's huge. I have never noticed a football player's ass in my entire life of watching football, but Jesus, that man has an ass on him. I did no research on the subject, but I'm going to assume that a huge ass usually leads to powerful lower body. Yeah, Coker is going to be a stud. I also suggested this weekend that we replace Wegher Bombs with Jack & Cokers. I also thought about Rum & Cokers, because it sounds like Runnin Cokers, but I'm not sure if that drink is manly enough, and it feels a little too punny to me.

Back to teams playing flat, Arizona nearly lost this weekend. I only caught the end of the game, because of the UFC PPV, but they would have lost had Cal's kicker been able to make an easy field goal. Instead, Arizona scored in the final minute after a great catch by Juron Criner. I basically knew that Arizona was going to win when I saw that their defensive end, Ricky Elmore, did the Lattimer facepaint.
It is the most badass way to paint your face, and it basically ensures victory for your team. That's how ESU made a bowl game that year, despite star quarterback Joe Cane receiving a suspension for getting in a bar fight and getting a DUI.

As much as I love Coker, he is not my favorite freshman running back named Marcus, because Marcus Lattimore is a beast. He's such a beast that for once, a team coached by Steve Spurrier doesn't look like a bunch of fairies prancing around the football field. Lattimore is an extremely powerful runner, and he's probably the best college football back since Adrian Peterson.

I write out notes to myself while watching games, and usually I can expand on these notes for the blog. Over the weekend, I wrote, "Notre Dame sucks." I don't know what else to say about that, so just in case you didn't know, Notre Dame sucks.

Quick Thoughts on Quarterbacks:
The Jake Locker debacle against Nebraska a couple weeks ago didn't surprise me. Everyone's beating him down because of poor decisions and poor accuracy, but I still think his biggest issue is that he does not see the whole field at all. He stares down his receivers, and it makes him extremely predictable.

Ryan Mallett sucks too. Not as bad as Locker, but he still sucks. If he isn't ripped for his mechanics like Tim Tebow was, there is something seriously wrong, because his mechanics are far worse. He throws off his back foot every other throw, which leads to, unsurprisingly, some really awful tosses. Also, people love that he's 6'7", but since when does that mean a QB is going to be good? The last QB with that type of size who had moderate success was Scott Mitchell (and let's face it, he sucked). Do you really want to use a high draft pick on the next Scott Mitchell?

Finally, a QB I like (a little) in Andrew Luck. It's tough to judge any QB when they're playing Notre Dame, because, as noted above, Notre Dame sucks. He did a good job with his accuracy, and he was able to actually scan the field instead of staring down receivers. The most impressive thing about him is that even though he is not on the same level as Jake Locker when it comes to athleticism, I haven't seen a QB this year that uses his athleticism as well as Andrew Luck does. He knows how to move in the pocket to buy himself extra time, all while keeping his eyes down the field. This is something that Mallett doesn't have the athleticism to do, and Locker doesn't have the awareness to do. I'll still have to see more of him before he gets the highly coveted Hott Joe stamp of approval.


P.S. My thoughts on the UFC card this weekend, it sucked worse than Notre Dame.

P.P.S. My boy Jose Canseco has gotten a lot of mainstream publicity for his latest tweet, but I still felt I should share it with my readers:
JoseCanseco I need an attorney pro bono my lanlord evicted me and would not let me take my chandeleers with me ,need your help to get them back
Honestly, this tweet makes me proud. I feel like the owner of a retarded puppy who chases after a frisbee, but trips over it while trying to pick it up. Sure, the puppy didn't get it right, but it was a much better try than I expected. This is equivalent to Jose's spelling of chandelier. Sure he didn't get it right, but the simple fact that he started it with a ch instead of sh is a really great accomplishment for him. Great job Jose.

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