I haven't shown my awful prognostication skills in quite a while, so I figured that I might as well give it a try at the UFC event tomorrow night. I have no clue on a bunch of these matches, and since my research only makes me look like more a jackass, I've decided to just shoot from the hip and hope for the best.
Jon Madsen vs. Gilbert Yvel - Madsen will be able to take him down fairly easily, and he will be able to ground and pound his way to a decision.
Chris Camozzi vs. Dongi Yang - With a name like Dongi Yang, he's probably used to get beaten up a lot. Expect that to continue as the more American sounding Camozzi puts a beating on him.
Mike Guymon vs. Daniel Roberts - Guymon looks really old, so I'll assume he fights like Ken Shamrock. That's not a good thing.
Sam Stout vs. Paul Taylor - A dirty Canadian vs. a dirty Redcoat (is it too far past the Revolutionary War to keep calling British people Redcoats? I hope not). I'll take the dirty Canadian since he at least trains in America.
Patrick Cote vs. Tom Lawlor - Tom Lawlor once died his hair and grew a mustache for a fight so he could look like Dan Severn. That's really cool. Does that make him a better fighter? Probably not, but I certainly can't pick a dirty Canuck.
Ryan Jensen vs. Court McGee - Ryan Jensen trains at my gym. I have never spoken a word to him, and I might have trouble picking him out of a lineup of white guys who appear to weigh around 200 pounds. Still, we train in the same space, so maybe some of my greatness has rubbed off on him.
Gabriel Gonzaga vs. Matt Schaub - Schaub got knocked out by Roy Nelson and then has beaten two guys that aren't very good. Gabriel Gonzaga once kicked Cro Cop so hard in the head that he hurt Cro Cop's ankle.
That's some scary shit.
Matt Hamill vs. Tito Ortiz - Tito says that Matt Hamill is deaf so he has a soft head. This has no basis in actual science, so it's kind of like saying that chicks dig me, therefore I have extremely sharp elbows. The first part may be true, but it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with the second part. Because Tito is weak in science (and skill), Hamill wins.
Diego Sanchez vs. Paulo Thiago - Diego also trains at my gym. One time I gave him water when he was thirsty. He thanked me profusely for it, because he was really thirsty. I think this makes us best friends. I'm definitely not picking against my best friend.
Martin Kampmann vs. Jake Shields - Everybody is positioning this as a showcase fight for Shields so he can challenge GSP for the title. It is, but they gave him a really dangerous opponent. Kampmann is very good standing and on the ground. Still, his wrestling is not on the same level as Jake Shields's. I think he can get him to the ground and use his top control to win the fight.
Brock Lesnar vs. Cain Velasquez - This is the ultimate matchup of bad tattoo ideas. Brock Lesnar with the sword on his chest, and Velasquez with a tattoo that just says "Brown Pride". These guys really should have consulted Aleksander Emelianenko when it came to their tattoo ideas.
Jesus Christ, that is by far the coolest tattoo ever. That is the reason I cannot get a tattoo, because no matter what I got, it would not be as cool as that. Look at it. It is the god-damned Grim Reaper holding a baby. There's bats flying in the background. It's got some crazy Latin saying up top. And even the baby is badass as it is carrying a dagger and could slit the grim reaper's throat at any minute. Lesnar, Velasquez, your tattoos are fucking awful. Still, somebody's got to win.
P.S. Even as a Hawkeye, I have to admit that Iowa State's new logo is fucking awesome, and I highly recommend that everyone click on that link.