Longing for the Good Ol' Days of MMA

I used to love mixed martial arts. I would watch all the fights. It didn’t matter if it was in America, Japan, Russia, or Poland, I could find interesting things on cards all around the world. And now, it seems as there are maybe two fights a month that I even bother watching. If anything, there should be more talent in the sport which would lead to a better product. So why am I not into it? Ultimately, I think the talent is the problem.

It seems the greater the talent, the less exciting the fights become, and you just can’t match the excitement of early UFC cards. I’m a bad fan in that I love the Royce Gracie era as much as anything that has happened in mixed martial arts. Those fights were memorable. I remember him taking on the one-gloved boxer, Art Jimmerson and Jimmerson tapping out even though Royce didn’t even do anything to him on the ground yet. I remember Ken Shamrock tapping out but then trying to continue the fight. And I remember Royce Gracie holding his choke just a little bit long on Gerard Gordeau because that dude was a nasty son of a bitch.

I think about the best fighters of today, and although they are head and shoulders above that original crew, how many have truly memorable fights? I loved GSP, but honestly, his two most memorable fights are his two losses where he got caught in an armbar by Matt Hughes and caught with every punch imaginable by Matt Serra.

Jon Jones is the greatest fighter in the world, but I don’t vividly remember any of his fights. I remember the elbows he dropped on Matt Hamill, the armbar he escaped from Vitor Belfort, and that nasty ass choke he put on Lyoto Machida, but are any of his fights actually memorable? I know the Gustaffson and second Cormier fights were close (until Cormier got caught), but it’s not like I remember much of the back and forth.

Heck, I’m not even sure if I can name all of the champions, without looking, I think it’s Cejudo, Cejudo, Volkanovski, Khabib, Usman, Adesanya, Jones, and Miocic. For women it’s Zhang, Schevenko, and Nunes. Now there are more champions these days, but I could have named them in UFC, Pride, and Strikeforce back in the day. I think Horiguchi and Bader are Bellator champs but have no clue of anyone else.

It’s just not as much fun anymore. When I think about all the fighters I would love to see on a dream card, none of them are active today. Let’s just put out ten guys that would be super fun: Cro Cop, Wanderlei, Royce, Pudzianowski, Sakuraba, Mark Kerr, Hong Man Choi, Minowaman, Lesnar, and Akebono. Now, I’m going to use a random number generator to make the fights:

Cro Cop vs. Royce Gracie
Hong Man Choi vs. Akebono
Sakuraba vs. Wanderlei Silva
Mark Kerr vs. Brock Lesnar
Pudzianowski vs. Minowaman

Good God, I would not only watch that card with everyone in their primes, I would watch that card today, and consider it the greatest gift of entertainment in this world. The one exception is Kerr/Lesnar which, in their primes, maybe the hypest I could be for any fight in MMA history, and if it were to happen now I would pay money to make sure that doesn’t happen. Also, sorry to not put a women’s match in there, but I did not need to see the man vs. woman dynamic, and the greatest women’s fight has already happened so there is no point to ever try topping it.


I know, it makes me a terrible person to yearn for the freakshow matches, but the heart wants what the heart wants. And it’s not like I could make a better UFC card with current champions facing top contenders in fresh matchups.

155 - Khabib vs. Gaethje
170 - Usman vs. Masvidal
185 - Adesanya vs. Romero
205 - Jones vs. Johnny Walker
HWT - Stipe vs. Curtis Blaydes

Okay, so Khabib/Gaethje would own, obviously, but it’s a significant dropoff from there. I even put in Johnny Walker just for funsies. Hell, I couldn’t do it with classic champions taking on current champions.

155 - BJ Penn vs. Khabib
170 - Matt Hughes vs. Usman
185 - Anderson Silva vs. Adesanya
205 - Chuck Liddell vs. Jones
HWT - Tim Sylvia vs. Miocic

That list of fights isn’t nearly as exciting, and that’s even with me putting in Tim Sylvia in the main event.

I don’t know. Clearly the skills are much better, and it’s not like there aren’t a ton of exciting finishes, but I feel like the UFC has made itself the star, and it’s really hard to care about personalities in today’s world of mixed martial arts. Even though guys got like 30 seconds to explain themselves at early UFC events, you actually saw a personality, and I guess it was wonderful to see how delusional they were to think people would believe that they were 400-0. Now I feel like every fighter is varying degrees of Cowboy Cerrone, kind of stupid, tougher than I could ever imagine to be, and thinking that they are the best in every area but taught well enough to give their opponents respect instead of speaking their truth. Why should I care?

But damn, thinking about that Kerr/Lesnar fight in their primes, now that is something that I would very much care about.

Matt Riddle and Grabbing the Brass Ring

Matt Riddle might be my favorite wrestler. Picking a favorite wrestler is more difficult than picking a favorite child, because I can flow from various guys depending on what is most current on my mind, whereas picking a favorite child is easy, because I only have one. Riddle is not only a phenomenal talent in the ring, but he was incredibly nice to everyone when I met him at a show before he got signed by WWE. Maybe the most awesome thing about him is that he really doesn’t give a shit. He proved it by continually smoking weed while in the UFC, he did his own thing on the independents and bounced around as opposed to signing exclusively with one company, and now he’s in the WWE where he very freely speaks his mind.

And WWE does not seem to be a fan of that.

Riddle is outspoken, and I can totally understand how that can rub people the wrong way. As a coworker, I might find him annoying, but even though he is ungodly talented, he also must be an incredibly hard worker to be this damn good at professional wrestling. He started calling out Brock Lesnar three years before he even stepped foot inside a WWE ring. Why? More like why not. If he would have put on a t-shirt that one of his goals was to retire Jinder Mahal, he would have just been seen as a dick, because he could probably very easily do that. Go for the biggest star in the business, and worst case is that it never happens but you get people talking.

So he did that and became a very sought after free agent. New Japan came very close to bringing him out for a tour which may have sped up the WWE’s decision making on bringing him into NXT. All he has done since joining NXT is put on awesome matches and became one of the most popular guys on the roster.

Oh, and he also continued to challenge Brock Lesnar...and Goldberg, and Chris Jericho, and Lance Storm, and kind of Booker T. I think that’s everyone.

So they finally put him in the Royal Rumble match which would have made total sense if he had finally squared off against Brock Lesnar. Instead, they waited for Lesnar to be eliminated and then brought him out, only to have him eliminated in a minute by Baron Corbin. Apparently, there was an “altercation” between Lesnar and Riddle before the show, but I feel like WWE could have convinced Lesnar to take a little offense and then eliminate him in a minute. Same end for Riddle but a way more exciting moment for wrestling fans. But instead they chose to punish him by bringing him out only to have him quickly eliminated to slam on the brakes for any main roster momentum that he might have.

And this is the problem with the WWE. They want guys to take chances and risks and become stars on their own and not depend on the machine, but when a guy like Riddle actually goes out and does it, they get mad at him because he didn’t do it through the right channels. Riddle was challenging Lesnar on the indies; it was a fun thing, but it’s not like anybody expected Lesnar to invade Washington Hall at some random Defy show in front of 500 people to actually take on Matt Riddle.

So now the WWE is telling NXT stars to not call out anyone on the main rosters, just creating a Matt Riddle rule to deal with things, because the WWE knows they have a special talent in Riddle so they can’t ever release him, no matter what he does. AEW would back up a Brinks truck in order to get Riddle on their roster, and they’d have Impact, ROH, and New Japan fighting to do the same thing.

So, you have Triple H who understands he has a generational talent on his hands, and Vince McMahon who only understands that some shitstain in NXT made Brock Lesnar unhappy, so he must be buried, even though he did that by grabbing for that brass ring and getting himself over where people would talk about him in a main event light, exactly what Vince McMahon preaches for young talent to do.

Hopefully, this is just a temporary blip in his career and not a grudge that the powers-that-be hold against him for no observable reason. Living down in Florida, I would selfishly like to see him stay in NXT for much longer as getting to drive five minutes to The Minnreg Hall in Largo, Florida and seeing the King of Bros put on a show is a pretty stellar Friday night. But I’m also a believer that people who are great at things deserve to be compensated for it, and this guy is a can’t miss star so I hope the WWE gives him tons of money to dominate in front of millions of people every week. This guy is BROver, and you’d have to be a BROfoon to not realize that.

WWE Is Ruining... Cesaro

It finally happened. I have been using a randomizing system to find out who I would write about WWE ruining, and it finally happened. It landed on the wrestler that WWE has underutilized more than any other. A man who used to be known as Antonio, but is now simply Cesaro, possibly the greatest professional wrestler in the world.

Let’s pause for a moment, because I really want to reiterate that. Are we absolutely sure that Cesaro isn’t the best professional wrestler in the world? Like, what wrestler out there can really do more than Cesaro? His strength is other-worldly, and the guy has the ability to do fast-paced matches with ridiculous spots. He doesn’t do much high flying, but when you’re freakishly strong like that, you really don’t have to. Best pro wrestler in the world is about as subjective as it gets, but can anybody look at what Cesaro does in the ring and not have him in their top ten talents?

And yet, with 7 years on the WWE main roster, what do we have to show for it? He has six tag title runs, but five of those came in the last two years as him and Sheamus had completely unforgettable title runs as they never lasted to become anything meaningful. His only singles title was a US Title run which happened in August of 2012, just a few months after his debut. Since then, not one singles’ title run has happened. The incompetence to let something like that happen is truly incredible.

Now, there is one flaw with Cesaro, and it is one that is a deal breaker for the WWE. Cesaro is *gasp* foreign. You know, as in not from the United States. Now, if you’re Canadian, you can overcome this. Even England and Ireland are acceptable as English is at least their first language which is very similar to the American we speak here in the United States. Unfortunately, Cesaro is from Switzerland. Now, as simple Americans, you probably believe that they speak Swiss, but that’s not a language bozo. German is the most popular language, followed by French and Italian. Notably missing is American or English. Hence, he can never truly be a superstar, because even though he speaks fluid English, he has an accent while he does it which is just too much for the WWE Universe to handle.

WWE’s obsession with in-ring promos is another thing that hurts Cesaro. Asking Cesaro to do a big in-ring promo like John Cena is about the worst thing you can do. Cesaro, like Dolph Ziggler, likes to use subtlety and wit in his promos, so it doesn’t exactly work when you have to yell it in the middle of a ring in front of 10,000 people. Letting the guy do backstage work where he has shown plenty of personality would be hugely beneficial in making him a star.

There have been many different glimmers of hope that Cesaro would finally get the push he deserved, but they all died out before it could lead to anything meaningful. Right now, he is basically treated as a jobber. He’s had 107 matches this year, and he’s won 18 of those. Outside of Zack Ryder, No Way Jose, and a trip across the pond to take on Ilja Dragunov, even the wins he’s had over guys have been greatly outnumbered by the times he lost to that same wrestler. He’s not even a jobber to the stars; he’s a jobber to the midcard talent at this point. I’m not sure whether to classify this as a joke or a disgrace.

How to fix things? Easy peasy. Have Brock Lesnar destroy Kofi Kingston and win the World Title on the first Smackdown. Then, have Cesaro calmly walk out and snatch the belt from Lesnar. Lesnar goes to punch Cesaro, and Cesaro casually catches and stops Lesnar’s punch. Lesnar snatches the belt back but with a look of disbelief. Then have Lesnar and Cesaro do really cool strong shit to each other, put the title on Cesaro, and then have him start a feud with Sami Zayn, because I might as well go all out on this whole damn thing.

Cesaro is awesome. I really hope the WWE realizes that one day.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Akam
Ali
Alicia Fox
Andrade "Cien" Almas
Apollo Crews
Bayley
Big E
Big Show
Bo Dallas
Bobby Lashley
Bobby Roode
Braun Strowman
Brock Lesnar
Carmella
Chad Gable

Charlotte Flair
Curt Hawkins
Curtis Axel

Dana Brooke
Dash Wilder
Drew McIntyre

Elias

Ember Moon
Epico

Finn Balor

Goldust
Gran Metalik

Jey Uso
Jimmy Uso
Jinder Mahal
Kane
Karl Anderson

Kevin Owens
Killian Dain
Kofi Kingston
Konnor

Lio Rush

Luke Gallows
Matt Hardy

Mickie James
Miz

Mojo Rawley

Natalya
Nia Jax

No Way Jose
Peyton Royce
Primo

Randy Orton

Rezar

Ronda Rousey

Ruby Riott

Rusev
Sarah Logan

Scott Dawson
Shane McMahon
Sheamus

Shinsuke Nakamura
Tamina

Tyler Breeze

Viktor

Zack Ryder

The WWE Is Ruining... Ronda Rousey

When you look at Ronda Rousey, it’s pretty easy to dislike her. She just looks like somebody who would have primitive views on transgender people and probably question whether Sandy Hook actually happened. It turns out both of those things are correct, so yeah, Ronda Rousey is likely a garbage person, but this is pro wrestling, so you can still utilize someone’s skills even if they really shouldn’t be allowed to interact with humans in any way, shape, or form.

So she’s a hate-filled moron. When she comes back, let’s just really go full bore, and have her fully be that person. I basically want her to be female Brock Lesnar, but give her a bunch of time on the microphone, because telling her to say words out loud is a recipe for people to learn to hate her.

Unlike Rousey, Brock has a bit of bully charm, and I think that’s due to the fact that this man has no idea what is going on in the world. Brock can’t have controversial takes on news stories, because he doesn’t know that Sandy Hook even happened. If he heard about transgender people, he would call them “Manladies,” chuckle to himself and move on. I'm not saying that's a great reaction, but he wouldn’t be for or against them; he would immediately forget that they even existed. Ronda Rousey is the female Lesnar with negative charm, and I want the WWE to just let the world hate her as much as anyone who knows how to Google already does.

Have her go on a blonde killing spree where she takes out Natalya, Dana Brooke, Liv Morgan, Lana, Mandy Rose, maybe Carmella and Alicia Fox, and Lacey Evans (just leave our precious Alexa Bliss alone). That would be great for everyone involved. Then, when she says she has gone through all the blondes, and everyone is expecting Charlotte to come out and take her out, instead it’s Sasha Banks’s music, and she now has blonde hair instead of blue, making her the Queen of the Blondes when she annihilates Rousey.

And then drop Rousey off at the dump, because she's a garbage person.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Akam
Ali
Alicia Fox
Andrade "Cien" Almas
Apollo Crews
Bayley
Big E
Big Show
Bo Dallas
Bobby Lashley
Bobby Roode
Braun Strowman
Brock Lesnar
Carmella
Chad Gable

Charlotte Flair
Curt Hawkins
Curtis Axel

Dana Brooke
Dash Wilder
Drew McIntyre

Elias

Ember Moon
Epico

Finn Balor

Goldust
Gran Metalik

Jey Uso
Jimmy Uso
Jinder Mahal
Kane
Karl Anderson

Kevin Owens
Killian Dain
Kofi Kingston
Konnor

Lio Rush

Luke Gallows
Matt Hardy

Mickie James
Miz

Mojo Rawley

Natalya
Nia Jax

No Way Jose
Peyton Royce
Primo

Randy Orton

Rezar

Ruby Riott

Rusev
Sarah Logan

Scott Dawson
Shane McMahon
Sheamus

Shinsuke Nakamura
Tyler Breeze

Viktor

Zack Ryder

The WWE Is Ruining... Ali

Let's start out with the positive. There is some good with how they have handled Ali. They finally brought someone from 205 Live to the main shows and actually gave him a push which was incredibly well received. It makes sense since Ali has just about everything you would want in a superstar. A good look, charisma, and some pretty incredible moves. The only thing that he is lacking is size, but he isn't so small that it puts a ceiling on his success.

Unfortunately for Ali, he got hurt at the wrong time, and momentum for Kofi Kingston took over, and he's had to mostly take a backseat since then. If he didn't get distracted by music, he could have won the Money In The Bank ladder match, but unfortunately, he heard Brock Lesnar's music and forgot that he was about five seconds away from winning the match, and Brock, although a physical freak, probably couldn't stop him in time.

So now he's in limbo, like most of the WWE roster. He's not really going for a title, not really getting wins, and just kind of existing to get RKO'd outta nowhere. If you want to exploit that he used to be a police officer, you could make him a Blue Lives Matter character, and I'm guessing that gets more cheers than boos, even though it may be the dumbest character in wrestling history.

Instead, all WWE really needs to do is lean in to the fact that this guy is a natural underdog babyface and put him up against monsters. Really, he should be treated like Rey Mysterio in that he is always an underdog at first glance but somehow can overcome the odds. He can feud against any bruiser. Samoa Joe is perfect for the role, and since Lars Sullivan just randomly lurks everywhere you turn, even if Ali couldn't give him his first loss, he could be the guy to test his limits.

I actually have faith in WWE to handle him well as they have already shown an interest in actually putting in the work for Ali. I know having faith in the WWE is a fool's errand, but they do occasionally get things right, so let's hope they can get Ali back on track.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Alicia Fox
Andrade "Cien" Almas
Apollo Crews
Bayley
Big E
Big Show
Bo Dallas
Bobby Lashley
Bobby Roode
Braun Strowman
Brock Lesnar
Carmella
Chad Gable

Charlotte Flair
Curt Hawkins
Curtis Axel

Dana Brooke
Dash Wilder
Ember Moon
Epico

Goldust
Gran Metalik

Jey Uso
Jimmy Uso
Jinder Mahal
Kane
Karl Anderson

Kevin Owens
Killian Dain
Kofi Kingston
Konnor

Luke Gallows
Mickie James
Mojo Rawley

Natalya
Nia Jax

No Way Jose
Peyton Royce
Primo

Randy Orton

Ruby Riott

Rusev
Scott Dawson
Shane McMahon
Sheamus

Shinsuke Nakamura
Tyler Breeze

Viktor

Zack Ryder 

The WWE Is Ruining... Brock Lesnar

Brock Lesnar is one of the greatest talents in WWE history. There is no era in pro wrestling history where this guy wouldn't have been a champion. He was dominant in his era, would have made an incredible foe for Hulk Hogan in the 80s and 90s, and may have been champion for 20 straight years during the era when you had to be able to legitimately fight to be considered a pro wrestling world champion. Brock Lesnar is the ideal pro wrestler.

Even with a limited schedule, he's been the most dominant force in the WWE in the last few years and one of the most dominant professional wrestlers in history. But the fans have turned against him and nobody raves about how awesome he is anymore. Although it looks like he may take time off to fight again in the UFC, there is one thing that will likely bring him back. For as much as Lesnar has accomplished, there is one title that has eluded him.

Yep, to save Brock Lesnar, the WWE must send him to NXT. I mean, sure, he's been a dominant WWE and Universal Champion, but he's never been able to win that NXT gold. Clearly, it would be the motivation Lesnar needs. I can just about guarantee that Bo Dallas constantly makes fun of him in catering as not being a real world champion like Bo was.

And the biggest issue with Lesnar is him not showing up enough. NXT tapes four episodes at a time. He could keep his same schedule and be on just as much as any other NXT star.

The issue is whether he could beat the best of the best. Sure, he can beat the likes of John Cena, Triple H, and Roman Reigns, but those guys have like two combined matches on NXT. Can he compete with the likes of Johnny Gargano, Adam Cole, and Eric Bugenhagen?

You want a fresh feeling and motivated Lesnar? Send him to NXT. And then let Matt Riddle retire him.

Other Wrestlers WWE Is Ruining
Alicia Fox
Andrade "Cien" Almas
Apollo Crews
Bayley
Big E
Big Show
Bobby Lashley
Bobby Roode
Braun Strowman
Carmella
Chad Gable

Charlotte Flair
Curt Hawkins
Curtis Axel

Dana Brooke
Dash Wilder
Ember Moon
Epico

Goldust
Jey Uso
Jimmy Uso
Jinder Mahal
Kane
Karl Anderson

Kevin Owens
Killian Dain
Kofi Kingston
Konnor

Luke Gallows
Mickie James
Mojo Rawley

Natalya
Nia Jax
Peyton Royce
Primo

Randy Orton

Rusev
Scott Dawson
Shane McMahon
Shinsuke Nakamura
Tyler Breeze

Viktor

Zack Ryder 

WrestleMania 34 Betting Odds and Predictions

LJ: You know what time it is?  Time for Wrestlemania betting odds.  Before we get into the matches, I’ve got a question for you Hott Joe.  With all these matches, how many years do we have before the Wrestlemania card is literally 24 hours long?  I put the over under at 5.5.

Joe: They are already at seven hours minimum, and man, it comes to a point where that is simply too much wrestling. I went to Mania last year, and by the final hour, I just wanted things to end. New Japan had their show in Long Beach a couple weeks ago, and that show went  4.5 hours which I think is really as long as you should possibly go. But yeah, WWE will definitely hold a 24-hour card by 2025.

Raw Women’s Title Match Alexa Bliss 13/8 vs. Nia Jax 4/9
LJ: This is a no brainer, and I love the odds here.  Getting close to 1/2 on what should be one of the easiest matches to pick is great money.  Jax wins, and if the WWE has any sense, she wins in a quick and dominating fashion.  I’d go hot start for Jax for a couple minutes, she misses a big move, Bliss gets in a couple of minutes of heel offense/works her leg etc.  Jax comes back and wins in another 2, 6-8 minutes is all this match needs and there’s no other story it should tell except for Jax beating Bliss.

Joe: Oh, Jonah. Sweet, sweet baby Jonah. If you think this buildup needs to have Nia Jax go over, then may I remind you of the time Triple H was super racist towards Booker T for months before pinning him cleanly at WrestleMania. Jax SHOULD win, no doubt about it, but these odds almost seem too good to be true. I have to pick Nia Jax, but if I had to book it the other way, maybe the Iconic Duo comes out to help Bliss win the match and create a stable of hot chicks. Oh, and this definitely won’t be the last time I mention The Iconic Duo.

Cruiserweight Title Match Cedric Alexander 2/5 vs. Mustafa Ali 7/4. 
LJ: I’ll be honest, I don’t follow the Cruiserweight division like I do the rest of the WWE.  These guys are fighting for the vacant Cruiserweight Championship since neither one of them is a rapist or wife beater, that we know of.  I’ve seen Cedric Alexander before and he is one of the top talents in the division, so it makes sense for him to win here.  I’ll go with the favorite in Alexander.

Joe: Um…well, the one guy does very cool stuff, but the other guy, boy, you got to watch out for them flips, and, ah…(flips coin) Mustafa Ali wins to help the WWE spread their brand to (checks Wikipedia) Bolingbrook, Illinois? Eh, let’s go with it.

Smackdown Women’s Championship Charlotte Flair 4/1 vs. Asuka 1/7.
LJ: I feel like the WWE has booked themselves into a corner here.  Undefeated streaks are kind of stupid storylines anyways, and now Asuka almost has to win, but the question becomes who beats her eventually?  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, she should have lost her first NXT Title match against Bailey or to Ember Moon on her way out of NXT.  But anyway, if I was actually betting I’d stay away from this match because there’s a chance that Carmella cashes in to win the title.  She could do it during or after the match so if it was after I suppose Asuka would still technically be the winner of this match.  The odds are terrible in this match, but Asuka is going to win, I just wouldn’t recommend betting on it.

Joe: Asuka has to win this match. Carmella has to come out to at least hint at cashing in, but even if she cashes it in, she ain’t winning that title. The only way Charlotte wins is if she somehow convinces The Iconic Duo to join her in a new-age BFFs.

Kurt Angle and Ronda Rousey 1/5 vs. Triple H and Stephanie 5/1.
LJ: This seems super obvious as well.  You don’t bring in Ronda Rousey to have her lose her first match especially when it’s at Wrestlemania.  Wait, I feel like I’ve written this before, oh yeah when the WWE brought in Sting and had him lose to Triple H at Wrestlemania for no logical reason.  I’ll say Triple H pitches this backstage which turns the match into a shoot which the Olympians easily win.  Favorites are the pick again.

Joe: See, this is one where I could see an upset. Kurt Angle can take a pin here without any real issues going on. You were just complaining about how undefeated streaks are bad, so let’s not let Rousey get in one. Have her lose her first match and “protect the biz.” I never want to see Triple H or Stephanie win, but they might do it here, especially if Stephanie gets help from The Iconic Duo.

WWE World Championship Match AJ Styles 2/1 vs. Shinsuke Nakamura 2/5
LJ: The dream match, for people who like to watch good wrestling on a wrestling show.  I really hope they give these guys at least 30 minutes to really tear the house down, it should be a hell of a lot of fun.  In my opinion, Styles is the best wrestler/best all around performer in the world.  That being said, he’s had a good title run and it’s time to make Nakamura a main eventer.  The last time he was in the main event he was losing to Jinder Mahal.  They need to wash that stink off and make him a legitimate main event player, and that’s why he will beat Styles at Wrestlemania with a knee to face.

Joe: If Nakamura was still in Japan, he would probably be considered the greatest thing in wrestling. Instead, he has the stink of the WWE on him and some real lackadaisacal performances against mid-tier competition. I do think him and Styles have a pretty epic match here though. Honestly, they could just recreate Nakamura’s debut against Sami Zayn, and I’d be ecstatic. Nakamura wins, because he has no place to go if he doesn’t.

Universal Championship Match Brock Lesnar 4/1 vs. Roman Reigns 1/6
LJ: I mean come on, this is what the entire last year has been about.  This is why not one person has kicked out of the F5 in the past year.  This is why Braun Strowman isn’t the Universal Champ, or even near the match.  It’s all so Roman Reigns can conquer the unconquerable Brock Lesnar and be the champ.  I’ve got some commentary on this match, it will be a hell of a match.  Their first match was awesome before the cash in.  I just hope that the WWE listens to my warnings and doesn’t put this on last.  The worked shoot Brock Lesnar doesn’t show up for work and is going to the UFC angle has worked a lot better than I thought it would, but it’s not going to make Reigns a fan favorite when he wins.  Whoever he defends the title against first is going to be getting the better reactions, so they need to be ready for this.  Don’t let Reigns cut a promo over a minute long, have him beat people up, or just make him a heel.  Book him as such and things will eventually go his way and since they’re insistent on it happening, I can only hope they go about it smartly.

Joe: Little known fact: When you beat The Undertaker at WrestleMania, you absorb his undefeated prowess at WrestleMania. Lesnar has not been pinned or submitted since beating The Deadman and neither has Roman Reigns. This will be the ultimate test. I really like Roman Reigns, so I’m going to pick The Big Dog to take out The Beast.

John Cena ? vs. The Undertaker ?

LJ: So I don’t see any odds for this match, which I guess makes sense because there’s no guarantee it will happen.  In wrestling though, there’s very rarely build up like this with no payoff.  If they fight, and I think it will happen, I think The Undertaker wins.  I’m also very torn on my feelings about this match.  It’s a match I desperately want to see, or wanted to see five years ago when Taker was undefeated at Wrestlemania and Cena barely ever lost.  Also, though Cena’s “desperation” for a Wrestlemania match has been played pretty well, him calling out the 50 something year old Undertaker for not wanting to wrestle any more is a bit off putting.  On the other hand, if this match does happen I absolutely hate the fact that Cena has done all the build for this match.  The Undertaker could have bothered to come back for a segment or two, just like he could have against Bray Wyatt, where if I remember correctly, Wyatt did all the build and Taker showed up at Mania and got the win.

Joe: I’m not sure who the winner of this match will be, but I can tell you who the loser will be, and that’s the fans, because this match will suck ass if it happens. Undertaker’s garbage, don’t @ me.

LJ: I can’t find actual odds for the other matches, just mentions of who the favorite is so I guess we can talk about those.

Joe: I’m going to go rapid fire on my responses, because if Vegas won’t talk about these matches, neither should I.

Intercontinental Championship Match The Miz vs. Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins.
LJ: Balor is apparently the favorite in this match, which is understandable.  The guy should be higher up the card, and should have been ever since his return.  I’ll never understand how someone else injuring you is a negative against the injured.  I’m going against the grain in this match though, and I’m going with The Miz to retain.  Miz retains, Balor and Rollins move up into the actual main event part of the card going forward, and Miz gets to become the longest reigning Intercontinental Champ of all time. 

Joe: I’ll take Seth Rollins, because Davenport, Iowa is the master and the ruler of the world.

Women’s Battle Royal Match:
LJ: Sasha Banks is the heavy favorite and is around even money to win.  She’s a great choice, and is probably the best all around women’s wrestler in the division.  Now that she’s back to heel, where she should be, she should be a lot more watchable.  I have to imagine Bayley is up there too, and a win here would really rebuild her credibility which has taken a beating due to terrible booking.  The only other real possibility I can see if Becky Lynch, who hasn’t been buried like Bayley has, but has really been underused.  Beyond that, I have no idea, maybe one of the Bellas if they’re coming back full time?  Ember Moon?  Rodeo lover Tamina?  It’s really got to be one of the Horsewomen, so I’ll go with my personal favorite Bayley to win it.

Joe: Iconic Duo both win.

Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal:

LJ: This one’s tough because I’m really not sure who’s in it.  In past years there were a few big names in it to choose from, this year everyone is in a 3 or 4 way match so it’s kind of tough to figure out who’s not already in a match who could win.  The names that jump out at me that don’t have a match are Matt and Jeff Hardy, Bray Wyatt, and Elias.  Big Cass and Samoa Joe could be healthy enough for a return, and while the battle royal doesn’t feel like a great use of Joe it could be a good use for Big Cass.  Beyond them, maybe a thank you win for Kane?  Someone in a tag team that could have a bright future ahead of them like Chad Gable?  A re debuting Bobby Lashley?  To make an official pick, I’ll take Elias.  He’s plenty over and way too important to be doing nothing at Wrestlemania.  Let him win the battle royal and sing about it for a year.

Joe: What better way to memorialize Andre The Giant than having his greatest rival, Hulk Hogan, come back to win the Battle Royal. Hulk ain’t taking no bumps, brother.

Raw Tag Team Championship Match The Bar vs. Braun and ???

LJ: Brains Strowman would be pretty awesome, but I don’t think he’s the real pick.  The best options for the pick are the guys who could win the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal.  Could be Elias who has been MIA since a feud with Braun, could be a reborn Bray Wyatt who has history with Strowman.  Could be Big Cass for giant tag team.  Could be Bobby Lashely for some reason or other.  Some NXT guy?  All those choices make a lot more sense than my official choice, James Ellsworth.  It all comes full circle with Ellsworth, he started off being dominated by Braun so he makes his triumphant return as his tag team partner.  Also, Braun and whoever are winning this match because Braun needs to be kept busy and out of the World Title picture while Roman is trying to get over.  Defending the tag team belts is a great way for him to do that.

Joe: Braun Strowman’s partner will be Big Show, and they will win.

US Title Match: Randy Orton vs. Jinder Mahal vs. Bobby Roode vs. Rusev
LJ: I’ve read Jinder is the favorite in this match, so I’m happy to pick against the favorite in this one.  I get the guy is muscular and foreign, but so is Rusev.  Rusev is also charasmatic as all get out and a hell of a worker in the ring.  It’s time for the WWE to actually get behind pushing this future world champion and give Rusev the win on the grandest stage of them all.

Joe: It’s RUSEV DAY!

Smackdown Tag Team Title Match: The Usos vs. The New Day vs. The Bludgeon Brothers
LJ: Couldn’t find any mention of this match so no idea who the favorite is.  I’ll take the Bludgeon Brothers, if they fail here it seems like the tag team is pretty much dead, so if you want to keep Harper and Rowan together they need to win.  Have them feud with The Usos for a few months, should be fun.  Have The New Day move onto pursuing singles gold since Big E is a future world champion.

Joe: New Day Rocks!

Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn
LJ: Well for this story to make any sense, Kevin and Sami have to win since they can’t be fired.  Of course I said that about Shane McMahon beating The Undertaker so that story could continue, and then it just did for no raisin.  In theory, I guess they could go to RAW after Wrestlemania if they lose this match.  This is Daniel Bryan’s first match back in years though, he can’t lose clean.  In a Russoesque twist, I see Shane McMahon costing Daniel Bryan the match allowing Kevin and Sami to win the match and regain their jobs. 

Joe: Owens and Zayn win when Brie Bella costs Daniel Bryan the match. She then says the baby is actually Sami Zayn’s. I also predict Shane McMahon sweats a lot.

LJ: In terms of crazy surprises you can probably bet on somewhere, I think The Rock makes a polite appearance.  In much more surprising news, I think Connor McGregor and Donald Trump make appearances.  Trump possibly via satelite, but maybe in person.  He’s got to get ready to be the XFL commissioner in 2020.  Since we’re in New Orleans, I hope we get a visit from everyone’s favorite Voodoo Doctor Papa Shango.  I’ve saved the best and most shocking surprise for last.  Kid Rock’s performance will be interrupted by WCW legends The No Limit Soldiers.  Master P will do whatever his finishing maneuver was, and the group will lead the crowd in a rousing rendition of Make Em Say Uhhhh.

Joe: Rock, Hogan, Stone Cold, short-haired Shawn Michaels, Scott Hall, and Dan “The Beast” Severn. Oh, and The Iconic Duo.

The 2018 XFL Mock Draft - Defensive Tackle

In anticipation of Vince McMahon bringing the fun back to football (more concussions, woohoo!), Lukewarm Jonah and I went back and forth to do an XFL Draft. Instead of breaking this down round by round, we are going to go by position groups. We hit up the glory boy defensive ends last time, so let’s work it inside with the grinders at defensive tackle.

Defensive Tackle
Jonah: Ra’shede Hageman, Will Sutton, Jared Odrick, Glen Antoine, Cam Thomas

Joe: Brock Lesnar, Louis Nix III, Devon Still, Christian Ballard

Joe: Early on, I mentioned that Johnny Manziel was my first round pick. Looking back, it was a reach, but luckily, Brock Lesnar fell to me in round two. The XFL is not likely to have these wussified NFL rules, and I’m hoping that straight up brawls are not only legal but encouraged. If so, Brock is going to tear through all offensive lines. He worked on football for a few months and nearly made the Vikings, so with Vince paying him big money to fully focus on the sport, he’ll probably become the greatest defensive player in XFL history.

Louis Nix III is a large body that I can use to fill up space. He was good at Notre Dame, so he should do enough to be a competent run stopper for my team.

After that, we have Devon Still, a guy who was not only a very good defensive tackle at Penn State, but a guy who is easy to cheer for as well. He left the NFL in order to care for his young daughter who was diagnosed with cancer. Luckily, she is now cancer free, and Still can focus on getting his football career restarted in the NFL. Like I have stated previously, it’s nice to have genuine good guys on my roster, as they are far outnumbered by the scumbags I drafted.

Finally, I picked another guy who could have been successful in the NFL in Christian Ballard but left the game by his own volition. He just wasn’t having fun playing the game (probably because he was stuck on the Vikings), and I know that this will not be an issue in the XFL, which will be fun for everyone. And yes, this is another obligatory Iowa Hawkeyes selection.

Jonah: Ra’Shede Hageman is a young player who was successful in the NFL.  He isn’t in the league right now because of a domestic violence charge.  He didn’t throw his girlfriend onto a pile of guns though, so I’ll take a chance on him.  Plus, if football really took domestic violence seriously I would have started a few games for the Dallas Cowboys over the past few years.  Anyways, the guy is good enough to start in the NFL so he can anchor my line.

Will Sutton was a big time college football player at Arizona State being named an All American twice.  I assume Joe was sad I stole a former Chicago Bear who underperformed in the NFL from him.  He’s only 26 and just needs to be coached up to realize his full potential in the XFL.

Jared Odrick is a 30 year old veteran who had  pretty good years in the NFL.  He’s a former first round pick and actually performed.  He hurt his shoulder over a year ago, but he’s healthy now.  He was never a big numbers guy, but started and played well enough in the NFL.  He’s a strong presence, and you have to rotate defensive lineman if you want to be successful.

Speaking of rotating defensive lineman, one of my favorite picks in the XFL draft Glen Antoine.  A big run stuffing defensive tackle who I’m shocked didn’t get a look in the NFL.  I watched him play at the great University of Idaho and eat up double teams all the time.  Even with the double teams he was able to make a decent amount of plays, probably because he put up more bench reps than any defensive lineman at the combine.  He’s the next Pat Williams and he’ll dominate the first two downs and any short running situations.

Cam Thomas is another big boy on the defensive line.  He’s 31, but he can be very useful in running situations and eating up offensive lineman to let my talented defensive ends get to the quarterback.  He has seven years of NFL experience and is an important veteran run stopping presence.

Joe: Well, at least Ra’Shede Hageman can fight, although when he is going up against Olympic level wrestlers or World’s Strongest Men, he might find slightly more trouble than when he is beating up women.

I was none too pleased when you took Will Sutton from me. I loved him at Arizona State, and he did show some flashes with the Bears. I also like the Jared Odrick pick as it’s a nice little veteran addition.

Jonah: If Lesnar commits to football I think he would be a beast.  He did make it to the final cuts of the Vikings roster and did that while recovering from a motorcycle injury.  The question with Lesnar is will he commit?  He seems perfectly happy living in a cabin in Minnesota chopping wood.  Or will he get sick of offseason workouts and go fight in the UFC?  Still and Nix should be good players and I know Christian Ballard well.  He’s a versatile defensive player and he was in Minnesota during the Brad Childress era so I don’t think anyone was having any fun.

That’s it for the defensive linemen. Next time, we move onto the next line of defense with our linebacker selections.

In case you missed it:

Quarterbacks
Running Backs

Wide Receivers

Tight Ends

Offensive Tackles

Offensive Guards

Center

Defensive End

How To Make Money Betting on the 2018 Royal Rumble

It's that time of year again. The time to help you make bank by betting on something with predetermined outcomes. Lukewarm Jonah has joined me to give you everything you need to know about betting on the Royal Rumble. And we even included our surprise entrants at the end so you could impress all of your friends with how you see the bigger picture when it comes to the wrestling world. In the words of DX's theme music, let's "Break it down."

WWE Universal Championship Match

Brock Lesnar: 3/10

Braun Strowman: 2/1

Kane: 10/1

LJ: This outcome is pretty obvious and the odds show it.  Lesnar is going to win here so he can be defeated by Roman Reigns at Wrestlemania and Reigns can have his what 4th or 5th big win moment.  I think Strowman actually has Kane down and beat when Triple H runs in and attacks Strowman.  Stephanie rehired Strowman, and they kept asking on commentary “Who can stop Braun Strowman?”  For some reason the answer to that question is always Triple H.  Plus Triple H caught those hands at Survivor Series with no follow up.  I think it’s coming and it’s their way of keeping Strowman strong while not winning the match.

Since this bet is really easy I’m going to go into my Vic Venom mode and fantasy book.  What should happen is that Strowman should pin Kane.  Lesnar keeps his aura of invincibility so that Reigns still gets the rub from beating Lesnar at Wrestlemania, but the match doesn’t need the title.  It’s big enough to be one of the main events, but it doesn’t need to be the main event, as in the last match of the night.  If that happens that will be four years straight for Reigns and it won’t win him any fans.  You set up the match like the Lesnar vs. Undertaker match was set up.  Lesnar comes out looking for his Universal Title rematch when Reigns comes down and attacks him.  It worked fine when The Undertaker did it, and it will work fine for Reigns.  The match should actually be good, as was their first match.  They fight at Wrestlemania, Reigns kicks out of the F5 which has been so protected over the past year that even Braun Strowman didn’t kick out of it.  He gets the win and by not going on last, he doesn’t get boos rained down upon him.

Joe: When I first thought about this match, I thought that maybe Strowman could win since it’s not like they have anybody that can give him a challenge, but then you reminded me that Triple H is the toughest, coolest, most awesome, super sweet, suck it dude in the whole universe. Braun may have hands like sledgehammers, but Triple H has an ACTUAL sledgehammer, so he will probably retire Strowman.

That means it’s down to Brock Lesnar or Kane. I could see this match going either wa, hahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahaha, no, I can’t. Brock Lesnar definitely wins.

Men’s Royal Rumble:

Shinsuke Nakamura 7/5	Kurt Angle 50/1	Big Show 100/1
Roman Reigns 9/4	Big Cass 50/1	Jake "The Snake" Roberts 100/1
Dolph Ziggler 4/1	The Rock 50/1	Johnny Gargano 100/1
John Cena 4/1	Shelton Benjamin 50/1	Scott Dawson 100/1
Braun Strowman 5/1	Eric Young 50/1	Dash Wilder 100/1
Daniel Bryan 5/1	Triple H 50/1	Tommaso Ciampa 100/1
Finn Balor 7/1	Chad Gable 50/1	Heath Slater 150/1
Randy Orton 10/1	Dean Ambrose 50/1	John Morrison 150/1
Baron Corbin 10/1	Karl Anderson 66/1	Bo Dallas 150/1
Seth Rollins 16/1	Luke Gallows 66/1	Curtis Axel 150/1
AJ Styles 16/1	Shane McMahon 66/1	Bubba Ray 150/1
Sami Zayn 18/1	Killian Dain 66/1	Sin Cara 150/1
Kevin Owens 18/1	CM Punk 66/1	Kalisto 150/1
Batista 20/1	Kassius Ohno 66/1	Goldust 150/1
Bobby Roode 20/1	Apollo Crews 66/1	No Way Jose 150/1
Samoa Joe 25/1	Eric Rowan 66/1	R-Truth 150/1
Bray Wyatt 25/1	Enzo Amore 66/1	Jey Uso 150/1
Rusev 25/1	Mojo Rawley 66/1	Jimmy Uso 150/1
Jinder Mahal 25/1	Luke Harper 66/1	Fandango 150/1
Matt Hardy 33/1	Neville 80/1	Stone Cold Steve Austin 150/1
Jeff Hardy 33/1	Kane 80/1	Alberto Del Rio 200/1
Brock Lesnar 33/1	Tyler Bates 80/1	Jerry Lawler 200/1
Jason Jordan 33/1	Tyler Breeze 80/1	Shaquille O'Neal 200/1
Chris Jericho 33/1	Brian Kendrick 80/1	Billy Gunn 200/1
The Miz 35/1	TJ Perkins 80/1	Hulk Hogan 200/1
Big E 35/1	Pete Dunne 80/1	Kevin Nash 200/1
Sheamus 40/1	Zack Ryder 80/1	James Ellsworth 200/1
Kofi Kingston 40/1	Shawn Michaels 80/1	Darren Young 200/1
Goldberg 40/1	Hideo Itami 80/1	Carlito 225/1
Undertaker 40/1	Tye Dilinger 80/1	Vin Diesel 250/1
Elias 40/1	Titus O'Neil 80/1	Rhyno 250/1
Cesaro 40/1	Conor McGregor 100/1	Floyd Mayweather 400/1
Kenny Omega 40/1	Ryback 100/1	Donald Trump 750/1
Roderick Strong 50/1	Jack Gallagher 100/1	Barack Obama 1000/1

LJ: Huge shock for me here, with Reigns not the odds on favorite.  If for some reason Reigns doesn’t win, you have to assume a Smackdown guy will win and it looks like the favorite is Nakamura to take on, presumably, AJ Styles at Wrestlemania.  That is a dream match and it would be pretty awesome.  Roman getting better than 2 to 1 odds when it’s pretty clear he’s going to be fighting Brock Lesnar for the Universal Title at Wrestlemania is pretty insane.

I’m going to take a look at a few more interesting bets before I make my official pick.  First of all, Dolph Ziggler at 4 to 1?  No idea how he has the same odds as John Cena.  Cena is an interesting option because he’s the “free agent” John Cena so if he won there would be some drama as to which champion he was going to choose which the WWE might want to explore.  I’m about 99% sure Daniel Bryan won’t ever be wrestling in the WWE again, so I need 100 to 1 to make that bet make sense.  

Finn Balor with the newly reunited Balor Club is interesting at 7 to 1, but I feel like Lesnar has to drop the title for anyone from RAW to win who’s not Roman Reigns.  The story is the same for Seth Rollins at 16 to win, if anyone from RAW wins it almost has to be Reigns unless Brock drops the title in the triple threat.  Beyond that there’s Sami and Kevin at 18 to 1, either of which could face AJ Styles at Wrestlemania in a good title match but they’ll probably be doing something stupid with Shane McMahon.  

Chris Jericho at 33 to 1 is somewhat interesting since he’s going to be back for RAW’s 25th anniversary so he should be in the Rumble.  For a really long shot, how about CM Punk at 66/1.  If Punk ever comes back it’s for the Wrestlemania main event he never got, and he could want to come back and wrestle AJ Styles for another dream match.  They could put it on last, give Punk his main event, and possibly save Roman from some hate.

Finally my pick, it’s super boring but at least it’s not the odds on favorite.  I’m picking Roman Reigns.  We are all but assured he’s fighting Lesnar for the Universal Title at Wrestlemania, so if you know the guy is going to be fighting for a World Title, might as well pick him to win the match that guarantees it will happen.  Plus, at 9/2 the odds are just too good to ignore their golden boy winning.

Now what should happen is that Lesnar drops the title like I wrote about in my previous fantasy booking.  Reigns is tied up with him at Wrestlemania which opens up the entire field to some interesting possibilities.  It may sound a little crazy, but I’d have John Cena win and challenge the new Universal Champion Braun Strowman.  Cena can put Strowman over in the main event of Wrestlemania cementing him as a main eventer.  Once Reigns beats Lesnar then you can have those four guys feud with each other for the next few months, creating a stacked main event scene that people will be interested in.

Joe: The two matches we have been hearing about for WrestleMania seem to be Lesnar/Reigns and Styles/Nakamura, so I can see why Nakamura is favored and that is why he is my pick. I mean, the Royal Rumble has not been well received in years. The last time that I think a majority of fans were happy about a Rumble winner was 2010 with Edge. The last five years have been Cena, Batista, Reigns, Triple H, and Randy Orton. I think it’s time that a fan favorite takes it, and what better way than to have Nakamura take it here.

For the interesting longshots, I’ll pick a mild underdog, a medium dog, a longshot, and a super longshot to make things interesting. For the mild underdog, let’s go for Rusev at 25/1. This doesn’t really have a shot in hell of happening, but I love Rusev and the world is starting to understand that they should also love Rusev. So let’s love Rusev together in the main event of WrestleMania.

For my medium underdog, I’ll go with Big E. He’s been dynamite for years in the New Day, and this is the perfect way to bust him out of the team atmosphere and let him take on the world as a singles competitor. And this just came to mind, but my two picks would be two of the most delightful options to appear on The Today Show the morning after WrestleMania, so either way, we should probably make that happen.

For my longshot, let’s go with Kenny Omega. This won’t happen, but let me make the case for how it could. Word has it that he re-upped with New Japan for another year, but could this just be a fantastic swerve to make a truly shocking appearance? There is the issue that his current contract doesn’t end until the end of January, but maybe NJPW and WWE have a working relationship after the Jericho thing where he could come back and drop his title after winning the Royal Rumble. Good God, could you imagine him against Brock Lesnar? Keep imagining, because despite what I laid out, it’s definitely not happening.

For my super longshot, I’ll go off the board and reveal one of my surprise entrants for the Royal Rumble, Rey Mysterio Jr. His contract with Lucha Underground is over, and although there was word that WWE was not interested in bringing him back, that seems like it could just be a ploy to make his return a surprise. He was once booed as the 30th entrant in the Rumble, but he could make a pretty triumphant return as this year’s 30th entrant with what I would expect to be a huge pop, even in a crowd full of haters like Philadelphia.

Women’s Royal Rumble:

Asuka 11/8	AJ Lee 25/1	Carmella 33/1
Ronda Rousey 2/1	Trish Stratus 25/1	Maria Menounos 33/1
Becky Lynch 6/1	Brie Bella 25/1	Tamina 33/1
Nia Jax 8/1	Lita 25/1	Nikki Cross 33/1
Nikki Bella 10/1	Natalya 25/1	Michelle McCool 33/1
Sasha Banks 14/1	Beth Phoenix 25/1	Ruby Riott 33/1
Charlotte Flair 14/1	Mickie James 33/1	Peyton Royce 33/1
Bayley 16/1	Lana 33/1	Billie Kay 33/1
Naomi 18/1	Ember Moon 33/1	Alicia Fox 40/1
Stephanie McMahon 20/1	Stacy Keibler 33/1	Torrie Wilson 50/1
Alexa Bliss 20/1	Kairi Sane 33/1

LJ: The Women’s Royal Rumble, the historic first Women’s Royal Rumble.  This is interesting and it should be fun to pick.  Not surprisingly Asuka is the favorite to win here.  She’s undefeated, but I’m not sure whether a battle royal actually would count as a loss for her.  So the question is, does the WWE do the obvious thing and have her win and have her be crowned at Wrestlemania, or do they go with someone else?  

Who else is interesting on here?  Let’s see, well Ronda Rousey not officially on the roster is the next best odds that’s pretty interesting.  If they bring in Rousey, she’s going to be a huge deal immediately.  Becky Lynch is one of my favorites and a 4 to 1 bet.  Sasha Banks is 14 to 1 and Bayley is 16 to 1.  Pretty nice odds for the non champion horsewomen.  

If we’re going for the long shots, Natalya was champ not that long ago and is 25 to 1.  Ruby Riott is 33 to 1, and if they actually want one of the groups of new women’s wrestlers to make an impact, winning the Rumble is a great way to do it.

I really like to make interesting picks, but maybe the WWE has just gotten too predictable.  I have to take Asuka at 11 to 8.  Getting better than even money on the person who is undefeated and pinned the RAW women’s champion a couple of weeks ago is way too good of a bet to ignore.

Now what should happen is that either Becky Lynch or Bayley should win the Rumble.  Two absolute workhorses in the women’s division who have been relatively ignored as of late.  At least Lynch is still booked somewhat respectable, so I would have Bayley win it.  Her credibility is immediately rebuilt, and she can defeat Alexa Bliss who made her look stupid for their entire feud on the biggest stage of them all.

Joe: Asuka would seem like the obvious pick, but considering that I already picked Shinsuke Nakamura, I have my doubts that they are going to have two Japanese winners this year. Asuka has the longest undefeated streak ever, so we are kind of past the point where this thing needs to continue. She has to lose eventually, and it’s pretty easy to not count this as a loss, even if you do want to keep playing up the undefeated streak, so I’ll say that she is unable to get the win in this one.

That means that I am going with The Boss, Sasha Banks. I mean, when it comes down to it, let’s just go with the best, and Sasha still has the best history of matches of anyone in the history of the WWE. Then, instead of taking on Asuka or Alexa Bliss, she uses her title opportunity to join Smackdown and go after Charlotte one more time. We know those two can put on an incredible match, and them one-on-one at WrestleMania could lead to their best match yet.

The other person I see who has a great chance is Becky Lynch. They have been giving her more of a push lately, so things might be lining up for her to win the Rumble and challenge Charlotte. Let’s face it, the women’s division on Smackdown is just Charlotte, Becky, and Naomi, because I’m not quite ready to count anyone in The Riott Squad since their alliance makes absolutely zero sense. Why not give Becky a big WrestleMania match where her and Charlotte should be able to put on a good show?

For a longshot, let’s go with Trish Stratus. Why? Because it’s Trish Stratus, and I will always pick Trish to win anything, even if it makes zero sense.

For another longshot, I’ll go with Peyton Royce. The Iconic Duo doesn’t really have anything to do in NXT, so this would be a good time to bring them up. Royce is clearly the star of the group, and The Iconic Duo could be a formidable combo to threaten for Charlotte’s title. It’d be tough to build it as a big match, but Peyton can go, so there are far worse ways for this match to end.

Alright, let’s move onto the important stuff. Jonah, who do you got for surprises?

LJ: I’ve got lots of surprises in mind.  The Rumble is in Philly, so I’ve got to get a few ECW guys in the Rumble.  I’m thinking at least the Dudleys and RVD, but Tommy Dreamer, The Sandman and even Sabu are options as well.  I think Killian Dain is the NXT guy in the match.  Hopefully Mae Young competitor and friend of The Jonah Show Jazzy Gabbert makes her way back for the women’s Royal Rumble.  She’s an intimidating presence and would make a fantastic addition.  Kelly Kelly is treated like a big deal for some reason, so let’s say she returns in the women’s Rumble too.  I’ll say Mia Yim and Laurel Van Ness make their debuts in the Rumble too, they need a lot of people in that women’s Rumble.  

Now for the big surprises that probably won’t happen but I really hope they do.  There’s a legend of the WWE who lives in Philadelphia and is still in incredible shape.  His name is Steve Blackman and I want him in the Rumble.

I also hope Pentagon Jr. and Fenix make their debut in the Royal Rumble and Pentagon breaks everyone’s arm while yelling cero miedo.  

Maybe CJ Parker comes back after his successful stint as Juice Robinson and has a successful Rumble.  

Finally, it doesn’t make any sense and I’m pretty sure he’s under contract but The Villain Marty Scrull makes his debut and tears it up in the Rumble.  Umbrellas and plague masks for all.

Joe: I’d have to say that I’d pop the biggest for a Steve Blackman return. They could even get Al Snow and reunite Head Cheese. That would be a total waste of Rumble spots, but I’d enjoy the stupidity of it all.

I’ve got a whole lot of surprises that I could see happening at the Rumble. I already mentioned Rey Mysterio Jr. and Kenny Omega, and I do honestly think Trish Stratus and/or Lita will show up at some point, but beyond that I’ve got five more surprises that I’ll rank in order of likelihood.

5. Ricochet/Prince Puma - Probably not happening as I see him making his initial impact in NXT.

4. Norman Smiley - A surprising legend is always out there, and who better than one of the top coaches at the Performance Center? He’ll likely be up there for the NXT show the night before, so let’s get Screamin’ Norman Smiley his Royal Rumble moment.

3. Bobby Lashley - I’m pretty sure he’s done with TNA, but I kind of doubt they use him as a surprise entrant in Philadelphia, because he’s the type of guy that a Philly crowd could definitely boo out of a building. Of course, maybe that’s reason to bring him in here.

2. Ethan Carter III - No idea if he’ll go back to Derrick Bateman, but I kind of doubt he will keep the gimmick of Dixie Carter’s nephew although that would be hilarious. No matter what the gimmick is, this is the kind of guy that will get a huge pop from the Philly crowd, and he’ll be excellent on Smackdown where he can interact with his old friend Daniel Bryan and possibly break up the relationship between John Cena and Nikki Bella, because DB and DB are destined to become brothers-in-law.

1. Sable - A pretty shocking choice but one that makes a ton of sense when you think about it. Her husband, Brock Lesnar, is already going to be there, and it’s not like Sable really wants to wrestle again. Here, she can show up, get a huge pop, and get eliminated in about five minutes. It’s basically the best way to feed an ego without any real sacrifice.

Jonah, although a lot of the matches don’t have odds out yet, is there anything else you wanted to highlight on the card?

LJ: The 2 out of 3 falls match between the Usos and Gable and Benjamin has a chance to steal the show. I’ll say Gable and Benjamin win, since the Usos don’t really need the titles, they’re plenty over as it is. Also, can I just say I love Daniel Bryan’s gimmick of being highly suggestable? I think I’m going to show up on Smackdown and say I should be employed and have him immediately hire me.
I’ll pick The Bar to take back their titles from Jordan and Rollins, due to Jordan screw up. This can complete Jordan’s heel turn and he can feud with Rollins and or Reigns.
I’ll take AJ Styles to retain over Kevin and Sami, probably through some sort of commissioner/GM weirdness. AJ Styles is half of pretty much every dream match you can put on at Wrestlemania, so you’ve got to keep the title on him. My original thought was whoever pinned Styles would be the champ, so I thought it would lead to Kevin and Sami turning on each other, but apparently they’ll be co champions so Shane McMahon will just jump off the roof onto the both of them to cost them the match.
If The Miz doesn’t beat Roman Reigns on the RAW 25th anniversary, he will beat him here through nefarious means. Reigns can’t be holding onto the Intercontinental Championship while he chases Brock Lesnar and the Universal Championship.

Joe: I agree on the Smackdown title match, but I say that The New Shield retains their titles. But for a prediction down the line, if somebody on Raw wins the Royal Rumble, there is a 100% chance that Jason Jordan is going to challenge for the main event spot at WrestleMania. He's very good at just asking for stuff, because wrestlers almost always get what they ask for if they do it in the middle of the ring.

This handicap match makes no sense, but I say that Zayn and Owens win the title here. Co-champions would be incredibly confusing, but they can solve the issue next month at Elimination Chamber where Styles wins back his belt.

There will probably be some women's matches, but nothing seems set in stone, and let's face it, we all only really care about the Royal Rumbles themselves. This event gets me amped up every year, and even a bad Rumble is still pretty great. They have two chances to get this one right so they're bound to get one right, right?...Right?