Thursday, March 29, 2012

Jose Canseco And Global Warming

The title of this blog makes me happy. I honestly never thought I would be able to write about Jose Canseco's thoughts on global warming, but here I am, living a blogger's dream. Jose has finally shared his thoughts on global warming and other important stuff. Let's start off with one of many awkward tweets over the past couple days.

Of course. This is where Jose starts. Sophomoric lines about how all people attracted to men are in love with him. I have said something very similar to this, and I am not in the least bit ashamed.

Of course. One day it is lines about how even gay guys dig him, the next day, it's time to talk about global warming. These are the transitions that make Jose Canseco such a fascinating person. Most people probably thought they were ready for Jose's pop quiz on global warming. Nobody in the world was ready for the bombs that Jose was about to drop on the world. First, a warmup.

First off, I think Jose is misguided in his assertions. He keeps calling people clowns, but clowns are some of the most passionate environmentalists in the world. Just look at their idea of carpooling.
Clowns should truly be commended for their conservation efforts. He also mentions the extinction of polar bears, but compared to the news he is about to drop, the death a few bears is a very minor news story. Brace yourselves.

Yep, Jose is just randomly claiming very alive former Vice Presidents to be dead. I will admit that my initial reaction to this was, "Al Gore isn't dead." But at the same time, I don't follow any actual news sources, so I wasn't sure if Jose was just the first person on my Twitter feed to break the news. Bad news, polluters, Al Gore is still alive. He is only dead in Jose Canseco's world. But Jose set things straight with the former presidential nominee with his following tweet.

Jose's sorry for proclaiming you dead, but seriously, Al, make some more noise. If you weren't so damn quiet, Jose never would have made this mistake. He's super serial about global warming. He is the only one who believes you about ManBearPig. Together, you may be able to tag team that issue. Let's focus on ManBearPig first, and then, if there's still time, we'll get to that pesky global warming issue.

Although that would be a nice place to wrap up, how about one more tweet from Jose that was sent right after a couple more global warming tweets:
Change of plans for the newly formed Canseco/Gore tag team:
1. Sitcom where Jose plays a gym teacher in "old skool" nuthugger shorts and high tube socks.
HUGE gap
2. ManBearPig
Even BIGGER gap
3. Global Warming

Yeah, that sounds about right.

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