Monday, December 9, 2013

I Ate At Cook Out, And It Was Amazing

In November, I moved to Florida with my wife. A few weeks later, she forced me to drive to Ohio. I was not happy about this for a couple of reasons. I had just driven a 26 foot truck for 24 hours to move us down there, and I wasn't real keen on more driving. Second, it was nearly December, and I was not looking forward to going from sunny skies to bitter cold.

The drive wasn't so bad, as I caught up on some podcasts and learned some Spanish while on the road. The temperature was another story. It was pretty depressing when I saw the temperature had dropped 25 degrees before we had even got out of the state. It would drop another 40 degrees and give me a couple inches of snow before it was all said and done.

My wife visited friends both on the way up and on the way back, but I only had one request for this trip. We must go to Cook Out. Cook Out is a burger joint that are all over North Carolina and spreading to some surrounding states. I learned about Cook Out from Drew Magary's Deadspin article (and let's face it, this is just a ripoff of his work, as I will be recounting my own amazing experience with this place).

On the way up, we were unable to go as we got into North Carolina late and had to get back on the road early. I would not be denied on the way back.

So, blah blah blah, had Thanksgiving with the family, went to a wedding, danced my ass off, watched a variety of Iowa teams kick some ass, and throughout all of it, I had one thing on my mind: Cook Out. All of those things were great, but they paled in comparison to what was ahead.

I strategically planned our trip back to reach a Cook Out in Columbia, South Carolina around 12:30 where I knew my stomach would be growling and waiting to devour anything that was set in front of me. I saw the sign, and was unable to hide the smile across my face. As we pulled into the parking lot, I wanted to sprint out of the car and leave the wife behind. I controlled these animalistic instincts and did my best to hide my excitement.

When I walked through the door, playing it cool was thrown out the window. I know that I looked like a kid on Christmas. I stared up at that majestic menu, unsure of what I wanted to unwrap and put in my belly. I ordered a combo with one main dish, two sides, and a drink. I decided to get a double cheeseburger with everything but mayo. As sides, I got french fries and chicken nuggets. Yep, chicken nuggets as a side. Finally, I upgraded my drink to a Caramel Cheesecake Shake. All for about $6.

The gentleman behind the counter asked me if that was all, and I promptly replied that yes it was. It was at this point that my wife piped up and said, "Uh, I still need to order." "Oh yeah, go ahead honey." She ordered something too.

Then I (technically we) sat down and waited. They called my number, and I was nearly sweating with anticipation. I opened up my Styrofoam container to reveal so much food. The double cheeseburger was great. The fries were fantastic. The nuggets were delectable. The shake...oh, that shake. Words cannot describe it, because at this point, I was in an orgasmic haze of pure food joy.

I stopped speaking to my wife, outside of a thank you when she gave me a hush puppy. I'm not sure what she thought about her food, but there weren't any leftovers, so we both did pretty good that day.

Honestly, I wasn't too keen on the trip up for Thanksgiving, but that combo at Cook Out made it all worthwhile. So much so that I'm a little bummed out that we're not heading back up for Christmas.

The nearest Cook Out is in Statesboro, GA. I love you Cook Out and can't wait to see you again. According to Google Maps, that will be in 6 hours, 59 minutes. Oh, the things we do for love.

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