Monday, November 23, 2015

CJ Beathard - Iowa's Craig Krenzel

CJ Beathard (who comes from a football family) is Iowa's Craig Krenzel (whose major was Molecular Genetics). Now I know that most people may think of this as an insult, but it is not meant to be. Craig Krenzel won a National Title. He also started games in the NFL. It wasn't great when he did, but there are lots of people who can't say that, so good for Craig Krenzel. But still, let's get back to the fact that he led his team to a National Title while not being the most physically gifted quarterback in college football. I would very much like CJ Beathard to do the same.

Now I know most people automatically assume that an Ohio State team would have way more talent than an Iowa team, but the 2002 OSU team actually wasn't that crazy talented compared to what the 2015 Iowa Hawkeyes throw out there on the field. Maurice Clarett is the most well known star from that team, but the combination of LeShun Daniels, Jordan Canzeri, Akrum Wadley, and Derrick Mitchell Jr. equal at least one Clarett, and maybe even 1 1/3 Claretts.

On top of that, both teams had stout defenses that could keep them in any game, but much like Iowa, Ohio State was not loaded like a 2002 Miami Hurricanes team, but they undeniably had some talent.

Despite this supporting cast, announcers are quick to give CJ Beathard (who grew up in a football family) as much credit as possible for Iowa's success. Now, don't get it twisted, CJ Beathard deserves a ton of credit, but that running game has been pretty amazing, and Desmond King has been stupid good this year, and honestly deserves Heisman Buzz for what he has done in the secondary this year. Beathard may not be a world beater, but he is a college football team beater, and that's all Iowa needs. He comes through when Iowa needs him most, and, as every ESPN announcer ever would say, "He just wins football games."

Yes, the stats may not be that impressive. Both quarterbacks had about a 60% completion percentage. Krenzel, who majored in Molecular Genetics, ended his year with twelve touchdowns, while Beathard has ten this season. But they both learned to take care of the football, and had very low turnover numbers, which maximized the help they could get from their defense and running game. And speaking of running game, both guys can do some damage with their legs as well, as Krenzel had 368 yards rushing, with Beathard currently 100 yards behind, and that number would be higher if not for a groin injury that Beathard looks to be fully recovered from.

Oh, and if you really like stats, here's a stat for you: 0. That's the number of losses Krenzel had in 2002, and it's how many Beathard has experienced as a starting quarterback. Now, as a logical person, I understand quarterback wins is a stupid stat, but I also know there's one thing stats can't measure.


Craig Krenzel (Majored in Molecular Genetics) had intangibles oozing out of his butthole. Just watch any game from that season, as the announcers would remind you of this fact every 10-15 seconds. I think the announcers had the special glasses that Roddy Piper wore in They Live, only instead of seeing aliens, they saw rainbows of intangibles coming out of Krenzel's asshole. Nothing better exemplifies these intangibles than this play.

I just want to type out what Brent Musberger said after this touchdown pass. "Craig Krenzel strikes with a minute and a half left! Holy Buckeye! A big time play, as people said all year that sometime, Craig Krenzel would have to win a game, and on fourth and one, he goes 37 yards!"

Craig Krenzel (who majored in Molecular Genetics) single-handedly won the Buckeyes that game by putting up 10 points against Purdue. That stout Purdue defense that gave up 24 points to Western Michigan, 38 points to a 5-7 Illinois team, and 42 points to a 4-8 Michigan State team. Craig Krenzel, and the Ohio State Buckeyes put up 10 points. But that's what stats don't tell you. Because Craig Krenzel didn't beat Purdue with ten points. He beat Purdue with infinity intangible points, as they never really stood a chance. Craig Krenzel has never passed his team to victory, he has only willed his team to victory, and by sheer will, he won a National Title.

Beathard does not have the single defining play up to this point in the year. The one that stands out the most is his Superman touchdown run against Indiana.

All we got from these announcers were, "Dive...Touchdown! What a play by CJ Beathard." It was missing some of the hyperbole. Also, Beathard does not have a fancy major, which hurts his intangibles score. But he does manage to even things up, because CJ Beathard is from a football family. You simply can't teach the lessons he learned growing up, as he just grew up around the sport and knows the game in and out from experiences that started early on in childhood.

Craig Krenzel had intangibles coming out of his butt, and CJ Beathard comes from that same mold. The intangibles propel these men to places that pure stats could never understand. I mentioned the number zero earlier, but there is one number that is even more important. That number is one. It's the number of National Titles Craig Krenzel won; it's the number CJ Beathard hopes to tie after this season.

But Beathard's too worried about winning football games to have time for numbers. It's a quality that you can't put your finger on. I call it intangibles.


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