Thursday, September 15, 2016

CM Punk's Next UFC Opponent

CM Punk got his ass kicked on Saturday night, and it's pretty clear that he is not a UFC-level fighter. Hey, the guy did become one of the best wrestlers in the world, and more importantly, he married AJ Lee, so I'm not going to be shedding a tear for him anytime soon. Still, I will defend the guy, as even though he shouldn't be fighting in the UFC, he's not the worst to fight in the UFC.

I mean, let's just look at the early UFCs. He could definitely take out some of those guys. I mean, Steve Jennum won UFC 3, and I would take CM Punk to win in a fight against him. You don't remember Jennum, the man to end Royce Gracie's reign of UFC titles by coming in as an alternate in the finals after both Gracie and Shamrock dropped out? Well, he did, and he's the UFC 3 Champion, so if CM Punk had a time machine and incredible luck, he also could have become a UFC Champion.

And that brings up a great point. Since CM Punk wants a second fight in the UFC, the question becomes who does he face next? Well, I just mentioned the perfect opponent. No, not Steve Jennum, but instead, another man who has dabbled in pro wrestling, the World's Most Dangerous Man, Ken Shamrock.

I mean, it's perfect. Everybody can't stop complaining about how awful CM Punk is, and everybody can't stop complaining about how badly Ken Shamrock looks the last 11 times he's fought (so yes, for more than a decade). Yes, Shamrock is a bit larger than Punk, but Shamrock was down to 201 for the Gracie fight, and I'm pretty sure he could cut at least five more pounds with his build. You could even make it a retirement match, which may mean that the loser is the real winner, but still. I guess the winner can fight UFC Flyweight Champion, Demetrious Johnson. Not for the belt, obviously, but if you're saying you wouldn't want to see Mighty Mouse fly around the cage picking apart a man with 50-75 pounds on him, then I don't know why you watch fighting at all.

If it's a draw? Well, that's the best result of all. Handicap match where Shamrock and Punk team up to take on Brock Lesnar with maximum steroids.

Basically, I miss Pride, and I want the freakshow matches to return.

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