Fedor vs. Chael Sonnen Is Stupid and Wonderful

After the electric fight weekend that UFC 229 provided, both in and out of the cage, Bellator is following that up with not one but two cards. There are some well known fighters competing like Roy Nelson, Benson Henderson, and Kimbo Slice's son. The most important fight is likely Matt Mitrione vs. Ryan Bader as the winner will be the favorite to win Bellator's heavyweight tournament. But when it comes to Bellator, I don't care about importance, I care about freakshows, and Fedor Emelianenko vs. Chael Sonnen is my ideal freakshow fight.

Fedor's last impressive performance was in 2010. Most people would argue that it was actually 2009, but Fedor was whooping Werdum's ass before recklessly getting caught in a triangle choke. At the same time, his last impressive win may have been all the way back in 2005 when he fought Cro Cop in a legendary match. In between then and now, he's tattooed more cans than Campbell's (yes, I know that's a very forced joke and only semi makes sense, but it's my best an effort). That has led to Fedor winning six of his last seven, and the only one he lost nearly ended in a double knockout.

Meanwhile, Chael Sonnen is practically still in his prime as his last impressive performance and quality win happened just five years ago when he somehow choked out Mauricio "Shogun" Rua. I had completely forgotten about that, but damn, that shit is impressive. He is also on a two-fight win streak beating Wanderlei Silva and Quinton "Rampage" Jackson in fights that...happened. If I had to say something positive about them, I would say they were...televised? TV exposure is cool, I guess.

Anyway, I know I have spent the last two paragraphs shitting on these guys, but let me get to the point. I love both of them. In his prime, Fedor Emelianenko was a cyborg of violence who victimized his opponents without showing the faintest hint of emotion. his workmanlike attitude just added beauty to the violence he was inflicting upon his opponents. It was one of those things that you couldn't take your eyes off of, and his string of dominance to start his career is probably only matched by Jon Jones.

And then there's Chael Sonnen. Chael Sonnen is not a legendary fighter, but he will be remembered. Chael Sonnen nearly won two different titles with the UFC. His beatdown of Anderson Silva will always be remembered, as he was less than two minutes from a dominant decision win before getting caught in a triangle choke. He was actually closer to beating Jon Jones in their light heavyweight title match, although in a very different way. Sonnen got his ass whooped for four and half minutes before the ref stopped the fight, but had he lasted 30 more seconds, the ref would have had to call off the fight as somehow Jon Jones broke his big toe while whooping Sonnen's ass. It would have been the most Chael Sonnen way possible to win a title, and I am so disappointed it didn't go down that way.

Usually, it is uncomfortable to watch guys fight who are well past their prime, but I'm actually at peace with this fight. Chael Sonnen has somehow survived his long career in mixed martial arts without taking very many beatings, and he's smart enough to even admit that he is scared of Fedor's power as getting knocked out is not a great experience, especially for someone who really wants to avoid brain damage. On the other hand, Fedor is clearly a shell of himself after going through many wars in the cage and ring. Even when he won, he rarely exited unscathed. Luckily, Chael Sonnen is not the type of fighter to lay the hammer to Fedor. Even when Sonnen gets his opponent down, he plays it safe on top to maintain position and avoid submission which means that his ground and pound is closer to a pillow fight.

So what's going to happen? I actually see it as very close to Khabib/McGregor, in a much less skilled way, of course. Sonnen's wrestling should be good enough to mostly control where the fight takes place, but while it is on the feet, Fedor has the one punch power to end it at any time. Much like I leaned Khabib last week, I'll lean Sonnen this week, but neither outcome would surprise me. Even if the fight technically sucks, I'll still love it, because it's not about the fight, it's about the spectacle, and this fight will certainly deliver on that.