Monday, August 19, 2019

2019 WWE Brawl For All: Eric Bischoff vs. Oney Lorcan

Guys, I have been waiting four weeks to reveal my first pick, and I am so excited to do so. Let's get to it.

Joe’s #1 Eric Bischoff vs. Jonah’s #8 Oney Lorcan
Joe: Jonah clearly messed up by not taking the baddest man in the WWE and going with a big bad wrestler instead of a man who could kick somebody’s head off their shoulders. That’s right, with my first pick, I took Eric Bischoff, who Jonah did dispute for a while but allowed it since he is with Smackdown and not involved in any real storyline. This tournament was made for Bischoff as he would easily kick Lorcan’s head right off his shoulders. 


I mean, do I really need to say more, or can I stretch out his accolades until he needs them in round two?


Jonah: So slight problem here Joe, kicks aren’t allowed in Brawl For It All. If they were Steve Blackman would have won the first tournament with a total match time of 15 seconds instead of injuring himself. Bischoff is a legitimate martial artist so his striking is probably above average and surprisingly good for a guy who has portrayed a GM and an announcer. For fun’s sake I’d like to just give Bischoff a pass to get destroyed in the second round, but if we’re trying to do this semi realistically, I think legitimate tough guy Oney Lorcan would certainly give Bischoff a run for his money. There’s also the problem where I don’t know if Bischoff is good at the type of karate that looks cool but doesn’t do much in a real fight and the fact that he’s in his 60’s.


Joe: Jonah, Eric Bischoff is a little like Cro Cop. Where Cro Cop had a left leg and right leg, for Bischoff, it’s, “Punches, Hospital...Kicks, Morgue.” Thank God kicks aren’t allowed, because I really like Oney Lorcan, and I’m sure his family does too. 


And don’t discount karate, Bischoff is basically a rich man’s Lyoto Machida when it comes to the martial art. Bischoff may be a bit older, but I think he can use his guile to land quick strikes without taking damage.


Jonah: If he gets too cocky Lorcan definitely seems like the kind of guy who would take advantage of that and murder him.


Joe: The Oney way Lorcan wins is if he brings a gun. As far as I can tell, those are banned which makes Bischoff the easy winner, and in my eyes, the absolute favorite to win the whole thing.


Jonah: For pure insanity’s sake, sure Bischoff wins via points. He also runs out of the ring after the fight before Oney grabs him and murders him.

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