Stop Complaining

I’m a stupid person in that I have made countless mistakes in my life. Looking back, I almost have to question whether I was trying to fuck up with some of the mistakes that I have made. But the good thing with me is that I learn from my mistakes. Most things in life aren’t that complicated, but there is one life lesson that I need to impart on the world.

I’ve trained of and on in mixed martial arts. I’m not tough, and since I do it sporadically, I’m not very good either. But when I go, I go hard. About six months into my training, I tried something dumb, got landed on awkwardly and cracked a rib. Would I say having a cracked rib is fun? I would not say that, but it’s also not that bad of an injury. You can’t really take deep breaths and it hurts anytime your torso stretches out in any way, but it’s manageable.

Shortly after the injury, I was getting ready for practice, and my coach asked me, “How’s it going?” I responded by explaining my injury and the pain I had to push through. And you know what he did? He got up and left. He didn’t say a word, just walked away.

At first, I was kind of pissed, like, what a dick. And then I thought about it more and realized I was the dick in this situation. He was just making small-talk, and I tried to turn it into an epic tale of me persevering through injury. Like, what was I thinking? That he was going to pat me on the butt, tell me that I’m the hardest motherfucker he’s ever met, and let everybody in the gym know not to cross paths with me, the legitimate badass? No, of course not. And he also wasn’t going to heal my injury through magical powers. I knew that the best way to heal my injury was through rest, and I wasn’t willing to do that. I realized that I was just complaining to complain, and ever since that day, I have made every effort to never do that again.

My life advice is simple, “Don’t complain about it unless you’re going to do something about it.”

Too often, people bitch and complain about things, and then when you offer solutions, they make excuses. It’s all bullshit, but people spend way too much time complaining when they should be working towards change. When people complain to me, I ask a simple question, “Well, are you doing anything about it?” 99% of the time, they hum and haw and explain that they aren’t before going to their excuses. Then I let them know that I don’t want to be burdened with their bullshit if they aren’t willing to work for a change. That is not the nicest response, but it is the best one, because complaining acts as a temporary release of that stress, but it doesn’t change the fact that they are going to continue to have the same issue. When people don’t have anyone to complain to, they don’t get that temporary release, and they might just work on fixing the issue.

Now there are exceptions. Sometimes, an issue is beyond your control, and sometimes you try to make a change and get shut down, but these instances are a lot more rare than most people realize.

So unless you’re willing to work on a solution, stop putting your negative thoughts out in the universe. When you can’t complain as a crutch, it will force you to do better. Plus, it will make you way happier, because if you try to make a change and fail, you will have earned something to complain about.