What Are The Best Ages For Your Favorite Team To Win A Championship?

The Effectively Wild podcast had an interesting conversation a couple weeks ago. The situation is this: Your (possibly hypothetical, as in my case) child's favorite team will win three, and only three, championships in his/her lifetime. What ages would you want them to experience those championships? It really got me thinking as there are a lot of benefits for nearly any age and winning a championship. Still, I feel like the following ages (consider the ages approximate as there isn't much difference between 45 and 47) would be the best three years to get that title.

1. Age 11
You need to get a championship during their formative years, but at the same time, you don't want it to be too young of an age. The Bulls won their first title when I was just six, and it didn't mean as much when they were winning those titles, because it became expected. It was still great, but I feel it could have been greater. Also, the Cubs had a good year when I was five, but I don't remember it. Meanwhile, they had another good year when I was 14, and I cried when they got eliminated from the playoffs by the Braves. Is 14 a little old to be crying about sports? Well, it was either cry about sports or have sex with girls, and I had zero interest in the latter. That is why I feel that age 11 is a good balance. I think everybody finds loving sports way too much totally acceptable at that age, and it is late enough that you can fully remember and enjoy the experience.

2. Age 45
This is an approximate age, but it gives a chance for your child to share a championship with his or her child. I mean, once you're an adult, you're probably not getting the same sort of joy out of a championship, but sharing it with a child would probably be pretty boss. The first one is a no-brainer, and I feel like this is a necessity if they are going to have children. Obviously, without children, it loses some luster, but that probably still means that the kid is drinking heavily and can still enjoy a championship even slightly past his or her prime.

3. Age 25
There is something to be said for 70 years old as you can share it with two other generations, but at that age, you really cannot care too much about sports. At that age, health can become a major issue, so I just don't see the risk outweighing the reward. Meanwhile, 25 is that sweet spot for sports fandom. You are young enough to still care way too much about sports and not have too many other responsibilities, but you are old enough where you could actually afford to go all out in your enjoyment. I mean, if you are ever going to make a random trip to see your team in the championship, this is the right time to do it. There isn't a significant other and kids holding you back, and it won't be that hard for you to convince a couple buddies to join along in the adventure.

You may get more nostalgic about the other titles, but this will be the one that you'll have the most vivid memories, and that is why it has to be the third age that you would want your child to experience that championship feeling. 

Let's Check In With The Cansecos

It has been a long time since I checked in with the ramblings of Jose Canseco. Too long, some might say. In fact, it got so bad that I had to start checking in with Ozzie Canseco to get my fix in. Ozzie is still a prominent part of this post, so let's see how our favorite steroid-fueled brothers are doing.

Miss my teammates except @twintower7264. Wily aybar, @twintower7264, me, tony phillips, joey gathright, chris britton. twitter.com/JoseCanseco/st…
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) December 6, 2012

Why would Jose take a pointless dig at his brother? If you are still asking the question of why with Jose, then you have already lost the battle. Fortunately, I am well aware that I have lost the battle and am more than willing to analyze what he has to say. It's not that Ozzie is his less famous brother, it's that Ozzie is his not famous brother. I follow the man, and if he walked by me on the street, I would probably just think, "Wow, that guy looks like Jose Canseco" without ever equating that he is, in fact, the brother of Jose Canseco. And I even follow him on Twitter.

This is the type of person that Jose feels like he needs to take a dig at. But if you think Ozzie is just going to sit back and quietly take it like a bitch, you've got another thing coming.

@josecanseco NOBODY MISSES U ARROGANT BABY
— OZZIE CANSECO (@twintower7264) December 7, 2012

ALL CAPS ZINGER, MOTHERFUCKERS! Ozzie will not take those words lying down. He's ready to fight back at the drop of a hat. He gives Jose a sick burn by calling him an arrogant baby. The fact that he is clearly yelling it to the world makes it all the more hurtful. Ozzie is clearly not a man to be trifled with.

To end, let's have a fun competition of craziest tweet of the last week. We'll let Ozzie go first, since I'm guessing that nobody ever let Ozzie go first.

@josemelendez123 get me in that morons @josecanseco podcast. Call me
— OZZIE CANSECO (@twintower7264) December 12, 2012

Oh, no. Ozzie thinks a podcast is a pod that you can physically climb inside. That's...well, that's just so Ozzie. Batting cleanup, let's see what Jose has to say.

Is it possible to be unlucky your whole life and lucky the rest of your life.
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) December 10, 2012

Um...yes? But I think it just means that you are unlucky your whole life, and there is really no point in the second half of that sentence. In evaluating these tweets, credit goes to Ozzie for a classic Canseco misinterpretation of words, but Jose made my brain melt a little with his tweet. Sorry, Ozzie, but this round definitely goes to the arrogant baby.