Let's Break Down Dude Love's Entrance Video

Dude Love is most remembered as Mick Foley's most forgettable persona (although Mick Foley considers his run as Commissioner as his favorite persona, but I'm just going to focus on the big three for this). He didn't make the early impact of Cactus Jack and Mankind is one of the top five characters from the Attitude Era. Still, I wouldn't discount the impact of Dude Love, as he was the first "Reality Era" character. Jim Ross's interview with Mankind where he revealed that he always dreamed of being more like Shawn Michaels resonated with fans so much that his Dude Love dream became an entire alter ego and made him more popular no matter which character Mick Foley was portraying.

But I'm not here to focus on all of that; let's just keep it simple today and focus on Dude Love's entrance video because it is awesome, and I enjoy awesome things.

Let's start off with that song. That is one happy song. Now I'm not necessarily saying it's a good song, but it is tough to have a frown on your face with this song playing. That puts me in a good mood to watch this video. But Dude Love manages to do a lot of traveling to far away lands to show that he's the coolest cat in the land. Let's try to tag along on this epic journey.

First off, Dude is having an epic time as a mime while on a late night prowl.

Why is this man trapped in a box? I don't know, but he looks like he's having a blast. Also, the moon is jumping around in the background. Does this have something to do with the control of the invisible box that Dude is partying in? Yes, the moon controls the tides, so I believe it has to be closely related to invisible mime boxes.

But trapped in an invisible box is nothing when you can dance inside of a lamp.

And that ain't no regular lamp. That right there is a bonafide lava lamp. It's the ultimate in cool hippy decor, and Dude even got himself a fancy hate to celebrate as he rolls along in a life of lava.

It can get pretty hot being in that lava, so it only makes sense to cool off.

Dude went from lava to swimming with the fishies, and as you can tell, he can't believe his eyes. I mean that's the definition of guy who sees a hot babe at the beach, but Dude is totally pulling it off. Also, that fish looks high.

This video is slightly insane, but Dude actually finds a way to take it to another level...literally.

Dude Love can fly. Instead of focusing on the beautiful sunset, he'd just like to say hi to you. This is incredibly dangerous, because Dude is clearly still learning how to fly. His arms rock back and forth to give him balance, and immediately after waving to everyone, he starts to plummet back to the Earth. I guess if he could plummet from the skies, jumping off Hell in a Cell had to be a breeze.

Here's a disturbing Dude Love gif to haunt your nightmares.

Did I say haunt your nightmares? I meant consume your dreams. Your wet dreams. Hey-o!

They only spliced together about 25 seconds of clips for this video, and then just put them on repeat, but man, did they pack a lot into those 25 seconds. I mean, they put in not one but two flying scenes. The budget of this thing must have been through the roof.

Fly away, Dude. Fly into the land where you can live in lava lamps, hang with the fishies, and live your dream as the sexy beast that we all know and love. Godspeed, Dude Love.

When Wrestlers Act: Wrong Side of Town

So I finally got around to watching the movie, Wrong Side of Town, starring RVD with a strong supporting role from Batista. My expectations were not high going into this movie, but it absolutely blew me out of the water. Usually in my movie reviews, I'll give away some of the plot so you don't have to pain yourself by going through the movie. In this movie, I just want to go over some of the highlights so instead of drinking this weekend, you can find yourself having a raucous good time on The Wrong Side of Town.

:07 - We start with a sexy lady in the pool, and flash to a worker who is about use a chainsaw and some tree stump. Oh, but that’s not any old random worker, that’s RVD, Rob Van Dam. The chainsaw isn’t working, no big deal, RVD karate chops the wood. Hell yes he does.

:07 - Oh no, sexy pool lady has somehow drowned. RVD to the rescue, he gets her to safety…and what’s this? She was just messin; she had to practice for her drama class. Either way, Mom is grounding her for a month. RVD is bummed, but manages to talk Mom down to two weeks.

:08 - Just realized that RVD wasn’t a random worker, but is actually her father. RVD playing the role of Dad has me incredibly excited.

:09 - Now the neighbor just came by to ask for a hammer, and RVD told him he could help him with that, if he had a driver’s license and major credit card. Then he did this pose:

He looks mean, but he’s just kidding. The neighbor sure was nervous.

:09 – We learn that RVD hates the city, probably because he can never stay on the right side of town.

:10 – I know I’m only ten minutes in, but everything RVD says makes me laugh. This may be one of the greatest movies ever made.

:12 – The neighbor is a club owner’s lawyer. He tries to high-five the club owner, but he has none of it. The club owner does offer to comp their meal. The neighbor is pumped about the free meal, RVD is apprehensive and says that you always end up paying in the long run, could this be foreshadowing? I think so.

:17 – I can’t properly explain how awesome everything RVD says is. The neighbor’s wife came back without his wife, and he asked, “Where’s Dawn?” If I would have been drinking anything at that moment, it would have been spit on my computer.

:18 – RVD just killed a dude, his response, “He had it coming.” There is no such thing as remorse in the world of RVD.

:36 – RVD is about to trick people hired to kidnap him into thinking there are diamonds in his sock. This is awesome.

:37 – Just had this exchange:
Neighbor: Where did you learn to fight like that?
RVD: I watched a lot of Jackie Chan movies.

:39 – Turns out it wasn’t Jackie Chan movies where he learned to fight, it was in the special forces.

:43 – RVD is surrounded by bad guys, and they send in their big enforcer, MABEL! Hell yes.

:46 – RVD says he needs to call in an old debt. Who does he meet? BATISTA!

:47 – Some stripper just implied RVD was gay, apparently she can’t recognize a testosterone-fueled badass when she sees one.

:49 – So this movie just had the scene from Team America where the one guy tries to outact Alec Baldwin, except RVD and Batista just did the opposite.

:55 – Batista is having a conversation with a dead guy, it’s brilliant.

1:02 – What do all badasses need?

Badass Shades and...

A Badass Bike Helmet.

1:14 – Just imagine this sneaking up on you in real life.


1:16 – They are now playing slap hands during a knife fight.


And with that, I'm sure you are confused about what actually happens in this movie. All this movie involves is great acting, awesome action scenes, great acting, awesome RVD moments, and great acting. This movie was so manly that I had to manscape both before and after this movie. Still I HIGHLY recommend the movie Wrong Side of Town.

-Joe

P.S. If you want to watch a really crappy movie that will make you think and stuff, watch Inception, talk about a snoozer.

P.P.S. I haven't even seen that movie, but I probably just gave half of my readers a heart attack because everyone seems to think it's the greatest thing ever. Apparently those people never saw No Holds Barred.