Monday, May 3, 2010

Albuquerque, What The Hell?

Yesterday, I completed my journey to Albuquerque. Some of you are aware of this, others are saying to themselves, what the fuck? Why would you move to Albuquerque? Here are some of the speculations that have been circulating around:

1. Joe got a job - Let me publicly state something that I have privately stated many times, work is for jerks. There is no job down in Albuquerque, and I don't plan on looking all that hard for one for a while. I'll probably get some "I don't need to give a shit and I still get paid" job down here, but I'm a free spirit and jobs are for jobbers.

2. Joe has friends and/or family down there - An extremely reasonable guess, but not true. I know zero people (one if you count the roommate that I met yesterday) in Albuquerque. There was no great social aspect that led me to make my decision.

3. Joe has move to Albuquerque to support his favorite former Iowa coach, Steve Alford - This actually has some validity to it as I am definitely going to hit up some games if I'm still here during basketball season. Alford's team getting ousted in the second round of the tournament was a complete fluke, and he'll prove that this year by not even going to that shitty tournament.

4. Joe got tired of American chicks and hired a coyote to bring him a Mexican Sex Slave - Although this is completely false, I can't say it's the worst idea I've ever heard. But fear not, American broads, I still dig you. Plus, I'm too far away from the border to get a coyote to bring a sex slave all the way up here, I'd have had just as good of a chance of getting a moose (Canadian coyote, a term I just made up) to bring a broad down to Iowa.

5. Joe wants to take the blog to the next level - Now this is certainly not false, but it'd take quite a reach for me to say that this was the reason for the move. This move is going to help out the blog. Now that I don't have to take out the trash, mow the lawn, or bring in groceries, it's going to give me that much more time to write insightful things about the world.

6. Joe is a moron - Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner. This is the simplest explanation as I basically am an idiot. I did need to move out of Iowa, but I could have picked many places where I would have had friends and great weather and had a great time doing it. But that didn't quite have the appeal for me. I wanted to challenge myself, so I picked a spot, found roommates on Craigslist and went for it.

There are only two opinions about my move. The first one is that I'm crazy for doing this. The other thing people say is, "That is so awesome...I would NEVER do that." So either way, I'm crazy, but at least I get mad props (mad props is still hip, right?) from group two. But the worst case scenario is I give it six months, figure out that I hate it here, and move somewhere else. Living with your parents for two years doesn't have many benefits, but the fact that I saved up just about everything I made and can do stupid things without worrying about money for the near future is one of them.

-Joe

P.S. In the greatest bit of recruiting news ever, Iowa is recruiting a player named Coco Ware, I was not able to confirm that his middle initial is B, but let the bird man fly.

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