Thursday, July 8, 2010

Video Breakdown: Booker T and Goldust at 7-11

By popular demand, I have decided to break down a classic wrestling video of Booker T going to a 7-11 and running into Goldust. Just so everybody is on the same page, let's first take a look at the video:

As you can tell after watching the video, it's awesome. But just calling it awesome and leaving it at that would not be much of a blog post, so let's dig a little deeper.

Booker T immediately is psyched to be in a 7-11. He does the logical thing, and asks the nearest person with a mullet if he saw a giant gold freak walking around there.

Unfortunately, Booker T forgot to think about elaborate disguises. This will come into play later. Booker T then lets him know that he needs to "get his good luck, pre-ritual slurpee on."

He then asks these kids if they're looking for Booker T cups, but assures them that he will get them some later. He then sends those kids away, because he cannot be distracted when getting his slurpee on. Just in case you were wondering, Booker T prefers the blue slurpee' it's tough to argue with that choice. Booker T then sees something that irritates him:

Booker T lets cardboard RVD know that he is going to kick his punk ass, but then tells him, "Don't be scared" because cardboard RVD practically shit himself when Booker T got up in his grill.

Booker T enjoys some of his slurpee, and then asks a random Latrell Sprewell fan if he's in line.

But that's not any old Latrell Sprewell fan, it's actually...

GOLDUST! I did not see that one coming at all. It surprises me each and every time I watch this video. Booker T is pissed, but Goldust quickly apologizes for his elaborate disguise, hoping to smooth things over. Goldust is heartbroken over the fact that Booker will be teaming up with Eddy Guerrero instead of him that night. No confirmation on this, but Goldust may have slowly poisoned Guerrero causing his heart to stop just a few years later.

We then learn that Goldust is a creep, and Booker T does not like creeps. Goldust sways Booker by reminding him that they are undefeated as a team, because of their strong psychological bond. Booker T calms down a little bit, but he needs to get going. Before he does, Goldust has a proposition for him: For a drink of his slurpee, Goldust will give him a bite of his weiner. This is Booker T's reaction:

Booker T then storms out of the 7-11. Goldust eats his hot dog with no slurpee, and JR insists that Goldust is crazier than a pet coon. I couldn't have said it better myself. And that explains the brilliance of Booker T and Goldust at 7-11.


P.S. I'm going to be on a plane when LeBron makes his announcement tonight, so feel free to text me whatever his decision is. Also, San Diegans, prepare yourselves, because West Coast Dance may rock you like a hurricane this weekend.

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