Thursday, February 3, 2011

Mustaine: A Heavy Metal Book Review

I am a fan of heavy metal music.  It is the ideal music to listen to when going out for a run, because it's fast, hard, and most songs talk about killing and pain.  There's no better way to keep yourself pumped up while getting your run on.  Dave Mustaine is the lead singer of Megadeth, and I'll admit that I'm a fan of their work.  Not an avid fan, but I can enjoy their music under the right circumstances.  

Going into this, I knew a book about Dave Mustaine is going to rock.  Back in the day, people called Metallica "Alcoholica" for how hard they partied.  Dave Mustaine got kicked out of Metallica for partying too hard.  That is when you know you are a badass.  

I have decided to include some of my favorite quotes from the book which should be all the evidence you need that this is a book you need to read.  

“You go to Salt Lake City, the pristine capital of the most morally upright of states, and discover there’s a reason the rock stars call it Salt Lick City.”
I never thought I'd say this, but who wants to go party with me in Salt Lake City?

“Pretty soon you’re trying to decide which of the proverbial bulls you want to be:  the one that charges down the hill, full speed, and fucks the first cow he meets, or the one who saunters down the hill slowly and fucks them all.”
If I ever give a speech for a wedding, engagement, or even a Baptism, I am going to try my hardest to work this quote in there.  I might even get back in Big Brothers Big Sisters just so I can share this advice with an impressionable youngster.

Dave Mustaine paid his guitar player to go to AA meetings for him.
This actually led to Megadeth's guitar player getting sober.  Meanwhile, Dave Mustaine had approximately 1300 visits to rehab before finally cleaning up his act a couple years ago.

"I enjoyed the party, but I also liked the sex, and the power that came with it.  For me, standing up onstage, with a sea of guys chanting my name and their girlfriends eager to take off their clothes for me, was the ultimate vindication." 
This is totally how I feel about blogging.  This just confirms my suspicion that there's really not much of a difference between writing a blog and being a rock star. 
“He likes to pour A1 steak sauce on my pussy before giving me head.”
I've tried A1 on a lot of things, and I think this settles the debate:  There is nothing that A1 does not make better.

Overall, Mustaine is honest in his opinions on everything.  Do they mostly lean towards him being right?  Of course they do.  Does it make Metallica look like assholes?  Of course it does, but that’s honestly what he believes (and wouldn’t surprise me if that was entirely true).  Does it even get a little preachy towards the end when he speaks of finding God?  Yeah, that part doesn't come across as very metal, but at least he's honest and not putting up a front to look cooler (Because, let's face it, Christianity has never won anybody any cool points) and the honesty of his thoughts is what makes this book an enjoyable read.  

I'd give this book a 9, but that's on a scale of 11, because this book is about metal.

P.S.  Although Dave Mustaine is as metal as it gets, Ryan Pickett and those nancies on the Packers are as unmetal as it gets since he and some of his buddies in the NFL are on an anti-porn crusade.  That's right, anti-porn.  Just another reason to hate Green Bay.

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