Monday, January 5, 2015

My Second Worst Nightmare

So just to be clear, my worst nightmare is definitely being buried alive. Nothing will top that, but just behind that was what happened on episode three of Black Mirror. Black Mirror is probably the most messed up television show out there, and that's why it works on NetFlix. It's British, it deals with the dangers of technology, and even when awful people have bad things happen to them, you don't actually feel happy at the end of the episode (episode 5 is a great example of this).

But the third episode was interesting in that people had chips implanted in them so they would have video of all of their memories. They could recall anything and even post up their videos on the television. Immediately, I thought of how I could relive some great times with this technology, but it was infinitely outweighed by all of the bad things I wouldn't want to relive. Now you are able to delete things that are boring or you do not want to remember for eternity, but other people would have my embarrassing moments saved, so I'm totally cool with our current memory system (Even in the positive moments, it may be better that I can glorify the moment and remember myself as way cooler than I actually was).

SPOILER ALERT. Do not read on if you do not want episode three ruined for you. I'm about to go over things.

So my second worst nightmare definitely happened in this episode, as a guy found out that his wife was cheating on him. That would be enough to put me in a very dark place, but then he finds out that their only child actually isn't his kid, as it was caused from the affair. There is no coming back from that. Not only did you get cheated on, but this guy is more successful than you at impregnating your wife.

At this point, I would have no choice but to live my life full of hatred. I'm not a big supporter of hate, but at that point, you basically have to embrace it. Here would be my hatred power rankings.

3. The Other Dude
Yeah, what he did was really shitty, but a lot of dudes sleep with women who are in relationships. If I saw him out and about, I'd probably fight him, because my hatred would outweigh the fact that I'm an adult and fighting is for children.

2. My Wife
I'd hate her more for sure. Not only would that shitty thing be out there, but it would also ruin all of my other memories of and with her. The dude in the episode ended up carving out the chip in his head so he could just wipe away all of his memories, and that totally seems worth it, because otherwise, happiness would not be attainable. At least my memories would be blurry, but happiness would not be finding me anytime soon.

1. The Baby
I know it's a baby, but I would hate that baby. I know that baby didn't do anything to me, but that baby would represent the worst moment of my life, and I would really wish for that kid to fuck up his life and possibly become a famous serial killer. Actually, I take that back. I don't want him to become a famous one. I want him to be one of the shitty ones that time has forgotten.

And the reason I can write about this is I'm currently in a really good marriage with my wife. I trust my wife won't cheat on me, and especially wouldn't get impregnated and make me think the child was my own, but, uh, I guess if my wife is reading this and was thinking about it, like, don't. Yeah, please don't do that. It would not be cool.

But gun to her head, she has to cheat on me and have a baby or bury me alive. Cheat away, honey. Cheat away.

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