My Experience at the Advocare Invitational

As shoppers fought for the best Black Friday deals, I went on a different mission and that was to watch the best basketball team in the nation, the Iowa Hawkeyes (Note: opinion may be slightly biased) take on the most evil, putrid, awful pieces of shit on the planet, the Notre Dame Fighting Irish (Note: not an opinion, just a fact) in the second round of the Advocare Invitational. Growing up in Iowa, I never had a chance to go to one of these early season tournaments, so I decided to make the hour and a half trek to check it out, and it was totally worth it.

Now, before even arriving, I had done a lot to set myself up to be in a great mood. First off, I found out about the game and got my wife's approval, as long as her male family members could tag along. Not a problem by me, as I basically black out while watching Iowa sports, so they would provide no hindrance to my viewing pleasure, and I even earned bonus points with the old lady (also, it was nice to have people to talk to during timeouts so I didn't look like a total psychopath as I screamed at basketball players a decade younger than me).

On top of earning points with the old lady, I was also in the midst of a potent high caused by Iowa completing their undefeated regular season. With that, a basketball win wasn't the icing on the cake, it was more a cherry on top of a sundae, as I would prefer it, but it wouldn't ruin some perfectly good ice cream.

We arrived at the ESPN Wide World of Sports about 15 minutes before tipoff and used our General Admission seats to take sixth row at half court. Not too shabby, not too shabby at all. Although the game didn't have the outcome I would have preferred, Disney did do a good job of creating a fun experience for the fans.

The key to Disney's success during timeouts and halftime was giving people constant entertainment. Sure, the cheerleaders took a handful of breaks to have guys hold up girls in the air for a while. It is important to note that only Iowa had cheerleaders, because Notre Dame is full of garbage people.

They had fun games at the other timeouts, mostly with children competing against each other. Kids trying to put a basketball in a backpack and then make a layup with a second ball for the right to keep the backpack, free throw contests, shooting contests, puzzles, a race to put on oversized shorts and a Udonis Haslem jersey before making a layup, more free throw contests, and most importantly, a dance competition featuring Iowa's beloved mascot, Herky, who somehow transported from Nebraska to Orlando in just seconds. All they were missing were dogs catching frisbees or somebody trying to set a really stupid world record (my personal favorite was a guy trying to hit the most tee shots in a minute), and they would have had the greatest basketball entertainment of all time. I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

And yes, the Hawkeyes lost to Notre Dame, a school that I'm pretty sure doesn't even have a football or wrestling program. They keep running into the same issue where they don't score for long stretches at a time, they make a great second half run, and then run out of steam before the end of the game. The starters played nearly the entire second half, and they just had no legs at the end, which led to Notre Dame finally finding open looks in the final few minutes. But I got to see the yearly Adam Woodbury game where he actually makes shots and gives all Iowa fans hope that he has found his offensive game (maybe this is the year?). Iowa lost, which sucked, but after the high of a 12-0 football season, no loss can really sting me (this never includes wrestling). So if you have a chance to go one of these early season tournaments, I would highly recommend them, just like all the great products sold by Advocare.

Why No Iowa Wrestler Won a National Title in 2015

The 2015 NCAA Championships were this past weekend. You may have missed most of it if you are a normal sports fan. I am not a normal sports fan, so instead, I watched approximately 300 wrestling matches from Thursday-Saturday, and it was amazing. Bravo to ESPN who had coverage of all eight mats, so I was able to see every match that I was interested in from start to finish. Unfortunately, the payoff wasn't quite there as Iowa did not win the National Title and no Iowa wrestler claimed an individual crown either. I want to take a look at each wrestler and figure out what went wrong, as only two guys on the team outperformed their seed.

125 - Thomas Gilman - 6 Seed - 4th Place
Gilman was one of two Hawkeyes to outperform his seed, and I have very little to complain about with his performance. He had some close matches, but he took care of business. In the first round, he got a major decision. Then he got a takedown in sudden victory to beat Jordan Conaway. On Friday morning, he got a late takedown and rideout to tie the match and erase riding time against Joey Dance. After that, he won again in sudden victory, and I was totally convinced he was going to the Finals. I mean, all he had to do was beat an unranked freshman from West Virginia. Well, that unranked freshman came out firing and I'm not sure if Gilman realized the match had even started before he was wrapped up in a cradle and pinned in the first minute of the match. After that, he bounced back to get a pin to make it into the third place match. He got two early takedowns against Alan Waters from Missouri, but Waters got a takedown and back points in the final period to win the match. 125 was a super tough weight class this year, and outside of the Moisey match, Gilman wrestled everybody tough. It's not what he wanted, but there's no way to say he didn't wrestle incredibly well to take fourth.

133 - Cory Clark - 3 Seed - 2nd Place
Cory Clark was the other guy who outperformed his seed, and he was definitely the top wrestler in this tournament for Iowa. He just went out and took care of business. His first match was probably his worst effort as he had a little bit of a lead and kind of stalled out and held on for the victory, even though he was never in any real danger. After that, he put together a Major Decision and a decisive victory over Hall from Iowa State. He scrapped with Gulibon but showed he was the better wrestler. That took him to his Saturday night final with Cody Brewer. Brewer was definitely peaking at the right time as he got bonus points against every guy he wrestled in the tournament. He was big, strong, and did a great job of getting to his shots. Still, Cory Clark didn't try to protect himself and get passive. Clark kept on attacking, and he wore out Cody Brewer. Brewer easily held on to win by stalling his ass off in the third period, but Clark went hard for seven minutes, and you really can't ask more than that. In January, I picked him as Iowa's best chance at a National Title, and even though he didn't pull it off, he gave it one hell of an effort.

141 - Josh Dziewa - 5 Seed - 2-2 DNP
Josh Dziewa may be the Hawkeye that I feel the worst for in this tournament, because he actually wrestled really tough in all of his matches but got nothing to show for it. He drew Kevin Jack from NC State in the first round and wrestled tough, but Jack was wrestling out of his mind in this tournament. The guy made it to the semifinals before running into Logan Stieber, so it was just a bad draw for Dziewa in the first round. Then, Dziewa gets a Major Decision in his first consolation match only to run into the guy ranked 6th at the weight in Chris Dardanes. I was very concerned about that matchup, but Dziewa nearly got a tech fall as he won by 14 points. It was amazing. Unfortunately, he ran into Mayes from Missouri, and Mayes was just too athletic for him, and he was eliminated before the Round of 12. There are probably six guys at 141 who could beat Dziewa with how he was wrestling. He ran into three of them out of four matches. Still, that guy turned it on at the end of the season and wrestled as well as I had ever seen him. The end result does not match the performance.

149 - Brandon Sorensen - 4 seed - 4th Place
Sorensen is another guy who wrestled really well in this tournament. He took care of business in his first match with a major decision. He has wrestled close matches all year long and found ways to come out on top in nearly all of them, but in his second match, he gave up a cheap takedown at the end of the first period, and his opponent was able to stall his way to a victory. He took out the guy who took out two former National Finalists in his first consolation match. After that, he wrestled hard and won in sudden victory before getting another major decision with some hard wrestling for seven minutes. He then won again to make it into the third place match before losing to Tsirtsis in OT. They had some tough scrambles, but Tsirtsis is a guy who easily could have won back-to-back National Titles had some things gone differently in his Semis match. Sorensen was the 4 seed; he took 4th place, and overall, he looked pretty good doing it. I'm excited to see how he progresses.

157 - Mike Kelly - Unseeded - 0-2 DNP
Mike Kelly was not the most talented guy, but he always worked hard in his matches. I think a lot of Hawkeye fans are ready to say goodbye to Mike Kelly, but I am going to miss him. He came so close to having impressive wins, but it just never happened for him. He got outwrestled by Demas, which wasn't surprising. Then, he came close to hitting some big moves, but in classic Mike Kelly fashion, nothing quite worked out. That second match was winnable, but he unfortunately couldn't get the victory.

165 - Nick Moore - Unseeded - 0-2 DNP
There are a lot of rumors that Nick Moore wrestled this year injured, and I definitely believe it. He was one of the top guys going into the NCAA Tournament last year, had a terrible performance and hasn't looked the same since. There was just no explosion from him. He wrestled hard, but he simply didn't have it. He just couldn't get any offense going. It's a tough way to go out.

174 - Mike Evans - 3 seed - 6th Place
This is the most disappointing one. Sixth place for a 3 seed isn't bad, but I think everybody's left with the feeling that it should have been more. Evans was a maddening wrestler in that he would almost always have slow matches, but he'd still flash glimpses of explosive offense. He cruised into the semifinals after beating arch nemesis, Logan Storley. He met up with his other arch nemesis in Matt Brown and wrestled tough. He came super close on a few takedowns but couldn't quite get it and lost 1-0. That was tough enough, but then he lost another two matches in sudden victory and in the first tiebreaker. So he ended his career losing his last three matches. Last year, it was the defensive pin that wasn't called against Chris Perry, and this year it was a bunch of almosts. For fans who watched Mike Evans, he'll be seen as a special wrestler, but without that asterisk, it will be tough for his name to stand the test of time.

184 - Sammy Brooks - 9 seed - Round of 12
Brooks kind of matched his seed, and his NCAA Tournament closely resembled Dziewa where he wrestled well but just got some really bad matchups. He won his first two matches to set up a rematch with eventual National Champion, Gabe Dean. He pushed the pace the entire match (and even got a stalling call on Dean) until Dean pulled off a takedown with a minute left in the final period. Brooks was charging hard, but Dean held on. He got sent to the consolation bracket where he got faced off against 3 seed, Blake Stauffer from Arizona State. Stauffer was a really bad matchup for Brooks, and he really took it to him. I think Brooks is better than the 9th best wrestler at 184, but he went up against the champion and fourth place finisher in back-to-back matches. It was a tough draw, but he will take over the title of "Guy I think is capable of absolutely anything whether that is reasonable or not" from Mike Kelly. Sammy Brooks brings it hard in every match, so I know he can compete with anybody at 184. A little more experience and he might ruin Gabe Dean's day next year.

197 - Nathan Burak - 6 seed - 7th Place
It may not look it from his finish this year, but Burak took a huge step forward this season. He was far better at snatching that single leg and turning it into points. He has really tightened up his game, and he's a dangerous wrestler at 197. He ran into Gadson, who absolutely peaked and wrestled incredibly well in every match this tournament (hence the national championship he won and the giant bowl of ice cream I am sure he received afterwards). After that, he lost to Morgan McIntosh, who is not a good matchup for Burak, but he kept it closer this time, so that's a positive step. Burak still has a redshirt year to use, and considering that Iowa loses 5 seniors this year, I wouldn't be surprised to see him sit out next year and prime himself for a big run in 2017.

Heavyweight - Bobby Telford - 3 seed - 5th Place
It is one of the most incredibly difficult things to be peaking for five matches over three days. Being a little flat and the wrong opponent can end the dream of a national title so easily. Telford was ranked third and went against an unseeded Spencer Myers from Maryland. He was unseeded because of a lack of matches this year, even though he was an All-American last year. He made one mistake early in the match and while he was fighting against the takedown, put himself in a bad spot where he got taken down and gave up two back points. He was aggressive in his comeback, but Myers was able to do enough to hold onto the lead. Then it was Consolation Bracket Bobby Telford who seriously wrestled like he didn't have a care in the world. He steamrolled dudes. Fall in 39 seconds, fall in 1:47. 9-2 win, 4-0 win, 2-0 win. He finally wasn't able to impose his will against Medberry and lost in sudden victory, but he came back to win 5th with a dominant 6-0 victory. He got a huge applause, and you could tell it was still a huge disappointment. Gwiazdowski from NC State looked dominant, but Telford is a tough matchup for anybody.

If things could have gone differently for these Iowa wrestlers in a single moment or single match, who knows what could have happened? But there are 330 qualifiers for the NCAA Tournament, and 320 are asking themselves the same question. What could have been? This wasn't the year for Iowa, on a team or individual level, but there are plenty of positive things to build on. And it's Iowa. They may lose five seniors, but they don't rebuild; they reload. They'll be one of the top five teams in the nation next year, and things may get tougher next year, but anything can happen at Nationals. That's what makes it such an incredible thing to watch.

Jose And Ozzie Canseco Pull A Switcheroo...Or Do They?

It has been quite a while since we last checked in with Jose Canseco.  Between him putting people in their place on Celebrity Apprentice, talking shit to A-Rod, and warning Chuck Liddell that his girlfriend is a scam artist, it's tough to come up with a lot of interesting tweets for his followers.  But fear not, Canseco fans, Jose was back at it this weekend to provide entertainment for all to enjoy.

@JoseCanseco Jose Canseco

let's see who is smart enough to figure out what happened at the boxing match

Boxing match?  The only notable boxing match I knew about was Pacquiao vs. Mosley (because I saw the commercial 100 times this weekend), but that isn't until May.  Wait a minute...you don't think...no, he couldn't have...but maybe...was Jose Canseco in another celebrity boxing match this weekend?  Only with Jose could the answer be both yes and no.  

Jose was scheduled to appear in a celebrity boxing match this weekend in Miami.  According to "news" reports (I put those in parenthesees, because I'm not sure if you consider MSNBC, The Miami Herald, and ESPN news sources), Jose sent his twin brother Ozzie to pose as him for the celebrity boxing match.  The switch was figured out when the Jose that showed up did not have Jose's tattoos and looked smaller than normal. I hate to break it to you, boxing promoter, but these tattoos aren't real.

This promoter must be a real dumbass.

But let's say this is true, that he really sent Ozzie in his place, I would have no choice but to no longer consider him the most awesome human being around.  Instead, I will have to put him in another category, because it is unfair to compare mere human's awesomeness to Jose's.  He attempted to pull off a trick that was made famous by The Killer Bees and perfected by the Olsen Twins.  I can't even begin to put into words how awesome that is, but I know that nothing could ever compare to it.

But is it the truth?  Well, that's a little tougher to know for sure.  Let's look at the evidence.  Jose followed up with these tweets

@JoseCanseco Jose Canseco

is anyone out there smart enough to figure it out or are you all a bunch of hateful morons

@JoseCanseco Jose Canseco

how can you haters being so ignorant it's amazing

@JoseCanseco Jose Canseco

I am still waiting for an intelligent scenario

@JoseCanseco Jose Canseco

by the way e s p n is owned by major league baseball of course they are going to lie

It's clear to me that a bunch of idiots thought that these "news" stories were facts.  But it's just ignorance that would make people believe this.  Nobody could even come up with an intelligent scenario, because they are brainwashed by ESPN.  And don't get caught up with the MLB owning ESPN, because he was not speaking in literal terms.  But MLB has ESPN by the balls, so ESPN will follow MLB's plan to destroy Jose Canseco's life for exposing the truth about steroids in baseball.  And here is yet another piece of evidence.

@JoseCanseco Jose Canseco

Be very careful with Damon feldman who runs celebrity boxing he will not pay you if you fight for him

How would Jose know that Damon Feldman did not pay him if he wasn't even there?  The ignorant hater response would be that Ozzie could have just called Jose on his cell phone to tell him about not getting paid.  Unfortunately, that argument is unlikely.  I highly doubt Ozzie can afford a cell phone.  

And finally, Jose's most brilliant tweet of this ordeal.

@JoseCanseco Jose Canseco

just remember the media is write 20 percent of 50 percent of the time

Does this mean that the media is only right 10% of the time?  Maybe.  But more likely, it means that the media only does what one would consider writing 10% of the time.  Coming from someone that is writing his THIRD book, I think anyone who isn't a total hater will give credence to his opinion. 

If there's one thing that Jose stands for, it's the truth.  So why would he deceive people?  Can you explain that one to me, Mainstream Media?  No, you can't, because no matter how much you haters lie about him, Jose will rise above it all to show us the truth.

UPDATE: Jose's side of the story revealed.

-Joe

P.S.  I e-mailed Jose to get his side of the story.  Since we have a ton of mutual respect for each other's work, I'm sure he will try to get back to me, but things are crazy right now so he was unable to respond at the time of publication.  I will be sure to post Jose's response when he finds the time to e-mail me back.

P.P.S.  To help prove Jose's remark about the media, this may be the dumbest article I have ever read, and it is in one of the most well-respected newspapers in the country.

Sports Radio: The Good, The Bad, and The Beautiful

Now that I have a radio in my car, I have began listening to a lot of sports radio when I'm on the road. For the most part, the times that I'm in the car, I can usually enjoy what's going down. But there are times that it sucks. But then there are also times where I don't want to leave my car, because it's such compelling radio. Let's go over all three.

The Good - The Scott Van Pelt show is actually a really good show. Both Van Pelt and co-host Ryen Russillo do something that is very rare for people involved with ESPN, and they actually admit when they are wrong. It's really not that difficult of a thing to do, and for me, it increases credibility as opposed to the more famous ass clowns on ESPN who just spew a bunch of garbage. They pick interesting topics and actually have intelligent debates about them. If you like ESPN on television, you probably won't like these guys.

The Bad - Mike & Mike just keeps getting more and more brutal. They really focus on the emotions of the sports world which makes it seem like I'm listening to two chicks talk about things. I wouldn't be surprised if they had a debate about who had the best ass in major league baseball. They're not quite on the level of Bayless or Paige, but that's not exactly a feather in their cap. They still suck.

The Beautiful - This is entirely premature since I just listened to them for the first time last night, but the local guys for Albuquerque Sports Radio are beautiful. How were they able to make such an impact on me in such a short period of time? They waxed poetically about a certain someone that is near and dear to my heart...
Oh yes! They LOVE Steve Alford, and I love them for that. I'm not sure if the haters heard the news, but Steve Alford got a decent pay bump along with an extension that will take him through 2020. I nearly called in to tell them that this was the greatest use of money since the Yankees bought Babe Ruth, but these radio guys were already waxing poetically about the greatness of Steve so my comments would have just been overkill. The highlights for me were when they went back to Selection Sunday where CBS sent a camera crew to The Pit to catch the reaction of the Lobos basketball team and their fans. Since I was driving, I wasn't able to get their exact words, but they basically spoke as if Steve sat in the middle as a ray of light guiding the players and fans to the promised land. They then compared their basketball program to Gonzaga's as they see themselves as a consistent powerhouse from a small conference. They believe this, because they truly believe that they have the best coach in college basketball. If I called in and told them I heard a rumor that Pat Riley wanted to fire Erik Spoelstra and hire Steve Alford as the Heat's new coach but Alford turned them down, they wouldn't think that was an outrageous rumor, they'd just credit Steve Alford's integrity and dedication to making New Mexico the best basketball program in the nation. If they love him this much during the offseason, I cannot wait until they actually start playing games. Let the good times (and good hair) roll.

-Joe

P.S. You should really read this entire rundown of North Carolina Defensive Tackle, Marvin Austin's, twitter account. For just a preview, here is a picture he posted to show his shooting prowess:

It was accompanied with this message: Hit da bullseye twice…I think I should join the .u.s rangers..oh but I shot a hostage too…opps
Opps indeed.

P.P.S. Not sure if people have watched Children's Hospital on Adult Swim, but it's awesome and this video is absolutely amazing.