Let's Remember Faarooq Asad

Faarooq Asad is one of those characters that has stuck with me far past his influence should have. I think this is partly that I was a huge Ron Simmons fan in WCW, wondered why he was no longer wrestling (remember: this is pre-internet), and then saw him show up in WWE as...a...I don't know, an oversized baby with a bad alien warrior outfit?

And here's the thing, he kind of came in like an awesome badass. He just came down and beat the shit out of Ahmed Johnson. It would have given him immediate legitimacy, but he was dressed up as a futuristic space gladiator, and nobody quite knew what that meant.

On top of this, he was given Sunny as a manager, and they just didn't fit together. It was a little like when they put Cesaro with Paul Heyman. On paper, the pairing seemed like a great idea, but it wasn't the right fit, nor the right time. Cesaro was finally starting to get cheered, and Paul Heyman is at his best when he is trying to get heat from the crowd, so it put Cesaro in this weird limbo. Faarooq Asad is this futuristic space warrior who is only about destroying anyone in his path, but they give him an upbeat blonde who was the most downloaded woman on the internet. Sunny was great at getting a reaction, but she wasn't the person to help Faarooq get the correct reaction.

But that's nitpicking. The big issue was the outfit. I mean, just look at this asshole.

There is literally no way for a guy to get over while wearing that.

The only thing they got right in the early going was his first interview. Do you know the thing that he talked about to make the crowd hate him? He told Ahmed Johnson that he should respect women. Sadly, that worked, because if there is one thing the WWE Universe hates, it is definitely women.

And yet, this version of Faarooq stuck with me far more than his Nation of Domination run where my only takeaway is that he started it, but it's most important moment was The Rock taking it over. I'll always remember you Weirdo Space Warrior, Faarooq Asad, maybe not fondly, but I'll remember you all the same.

How The WWE Could Have Made Breaking Bad Better

I just finished up Breaking Bad, and it was a great show. So great that it is hard to find any problems with the show. I felt totally satisfied with my viewing experience from beginning to end. Still, there is one way this show could have improved. They could have replaced all of the male characters with the members of the Nation of Domination. I know that sounds a tad extreme, but just hear me out. The actors were fantastic, but these guys would have made the show that much better.

1. Walter White should have been played by The Rock. I mean, if you want a badass chemistry teacher, there is really no better option than The Rock. There is very rarely a better option than The Rock.

He's so unassuming, yet still so badass. Also, a bald head, which shows the intensity of the chemotherapy. Truly an ideal option.

2. With Walter now being played by The Rock. Jesse Pinkman needs to be amped up a little bit. Who would make a perfect protege for Walt? Obviously D-Lo Brown.

He was known as a great European Champion, so it should be no problem for him to switch to a Chemistry Champion instead.

3. With just two tweaks, we've changed the whole dynamic of the show, which means that Hank now has to be more badass. This is the role Crush was born to play.

Also, the interracial composition of the family would really add to the drama.

4. This leads me to Gustavo Fring. He was a great leader, but he could have been a better leader. He could have been Farooq.

Woah, woah, woah. That came across as super racist. Let's try that again.

Much better.

5. Mike has to be the biggest badass on the show, so he will be played by Mark Henry.

Yep, that should work just fine.

6. But who would play Saul Goodman? Saul was cast nearly perfectly, and he was such a pimp throughout the show. Wait a minute, that gives me an idea.

You can't tell me that's not an award winning billboard.

7. But who could possibly play Walter Jr.? His inability to move or speak properly will be tough for anyone to replicate, but don't worry, I already know of someone who does both of those features naturally. This was the role Ahmed Johnson was born to play.

He's perfect. I'm so proud of this.