Adam Bomb Should Have Been More

How was Adam Bomb not a bigger deal? He was a big dude who could believably crush people, and yet he never really got any sort of push into a title picture. Instead, he just kind of existed.

The dude was huge, jacked, and he had cool sunglasses. I mean, is that name stupid? Objectively, yes, it is an awful name and it is impossible to deny the stupidity. So, yes, it was stupid...stupid awesome. Think about it as if you were a child. His last name was Bomb. This guy should have had sold a shit-ton of merchandise.

Could he talk? Not really, but most big guys aren't that great of talkers and managers were still a normal thing to pair with a big guy who wasn't quite polished yet. He started off with Johnny Polo, but Polo dumped him on Harvey Wippleman to focus on the Quebecers. Harvey Wippleman dumped him so he could manage Kwang, who was best known as being a secret character in the video game WWF Raw for the 32X (I got a 32X like three years after it came out for ten bucks and that game for another 5. I would say I got my $15 out of the investment, but nothing more).

After that, he kind of became a good guy, but people stopped caring, and it didn't help that he would do a pose and the WWE would shoot up green smoke behind him, which made his Adam Bomb look like he just farted. Considering he would be released a few months later, it was kind of a fitting image.

That's where Adam Bomb effectively died. He became Wrath in WCW, but then went by his real name of Bryan Clark to tag with Brian Adams as KroniK. They won the tag titles a couple times, but it was during the Vince Russo era, so it doesn't really count as success at that point. He had a brief cup of coffee in the WWE, but injuries quickly ended that run, and after bouncing around in independents and Japan, he retired in 2003.

It's pretty clear that Adam Bomb wasn't destined to carry a company, but it seems like he could have done more. In an era when guys like Marty Jannetty, Ahmed Johnson, and Marc Mero became Intercontinental Champions, it sure seems like Adam Bomb could have been more. Adam Bomb should have been more. 

The 3 Coolest Things About WWE's Crush

The WWE Network is built for nostalgia, and I every few episodes of Raw, I will come across that a guy that I liked way too much or didn't appreciate enough. Crush falls into the former category, as I thought Crush was really cool. When watching now, I am wondering what I thought was so cool, so I decided to break down the three coolest things about Crush in the eyes of a child.

1. Demolition
I thought Demolition was awesome, because I was a WWF kid, so although I was aware that the Road Warriors were awesome, I thought Demolition was just as cool. When looking back, Hawk and Animal actually were awesome, where Axe and Smash were kind of flabby S+M-looking perverts. Anyway, Crush joined the team towards the end, so he had a lot of built in credibility from being associated with Demolition.

2. "Brudder"
A few years later he came back as a Hawaiian who said "Brudder" a lot. I thought that this was both exotic and totally badass.

3. Kona Crush
The coolest thing as a kid is also the lamest thing as an adult. His finisher was the Kona Crush where he basically just squeezed a dude's head until they gave up. The reason this is so awesome for a kid is that kids are small and weak, so being strong enough to just squeeze a man into submission is an amazing fantasy to live vicariously through a wrestler.

After a year of being a cool Hawaiian dude who beat up Doink the Clown for being mean to kids, he "hurt" his back trying to bodyslam Yokozuna and became a Japanese sympathizer, because Macho Man didn't call to check up on him while he was recovering. He then bounced around various tag teams and various organizations over the next few years until retiring due to real back issues.

Like too many wrestling stories, he passed away in 2007 at age 43. Maybe Crush wasn't built for the modern-day cynical adult, but he was still cool by me, brudder.

How The WWE Could Have Made Breaking Bad Better

I just finished up Breaking Bad, and it was a great show. So great that it is hard to find any problems with the show. I felt totally satisfied with my viewing experience from beginning to end. Still, there is one way this show could have improved. They could have replaced all of the male characters with the members of the Nation of Domination. I know that sounds a tad extreme, but just hear me out. The actors were fantastic, but these guys would have made the show that much better.

1. Walter White should have been played by The Rock. I mean, if you want a badass chemistry teacher, there is really no better option than The Rock. There is very rarely a better option than The Rock.

He's so unassuming, yet still so badass. Also, a bald head, which shows the intensity of the chemotherapy. Truly an ideal option.

2. With Walter now being played by The Rock. Jesse Pinkman needs to be amped up a little bit. Who would make a perfect protege for Walt? Obviously D-Lo Brown.

He was known as a great European Champion, so it should be no problem for him to switch to a Chemistry Champion instead.

3. With just two tweaks, we've changed the whole dynamic of the show, which means that Hank now has to be more badass. This is the role Crush was born to play.

Also, the interracial composition of the family would really add to the drama.

4. This leads me to Gustavo Fring. He was a great leader, but he could have been a better leader. He could have been Farooq.

Woah, woah, woah. That came across as super racist. Let's try that again.

Much better.

5. Mike has to be the biggest badass on the show, so he will be played by Mark Henry.

Yep, that should work just fine.

6. But who would play Saul Goodman? Saul was cast nearly perfectly, and he was such a pimp throughout the show. Wait a minute, that gives me an idea.

You can't tell me that's not an award winning billboard.

7. But who could possibly play Walter Jr.? His inability to move or speak properly will be tough for anyone to replicate, but don't worry, I already know of someone who does both of those features naturally. This was the role Ahmed Johnson was born to play.

He's perfect. I'm so proud of this.