The Good And Bad Of Toe Shoes

I have long been an advocate of toe shoes, so I had many friends point me towards the backlash that has been on the internet as Vibram has had to settle a lawsuit for their FiveFingers (toe) shoes. What people have gotten stuck on is that these shoes don't work and nobody should wear them, because they are stupid looking and will ruin you as a runner. Let's take a look at the second claim first.

The shoe company had to settle because Vibram claimed that these shoes would reduce foot injuries and even make people's feet stronger. Unfortunately, there is no scientific evidence to back this up. If you look at this at face value, it will mean that these shoes are bad for you, and everyone should immediately stop wearing them. Unfortunately, this is a misconception that shows a blatant disregard for other benefits that shoes can have. Those other benefits are why I will continue to wear my toe shoes, but even with that endorsement, I still plan on collecting my settlement money, because I more than earned it.

The claim on helping feet is bullshit. It isn't going to make your feet stronger, and it can cause stress fractures in your foot when switching to the shoe. I know, because I got a stress fracture in my right foot when using the shoes for a road race. It really sucked, and the shoes are definitely to blame. But much like Achilles had his heel, my weakness is foot bones, as I also got a stress fracture in my foot when I wore traditional running shoes. Vibram needs to make it very clear that people need to take it very slow and run very little before amping up your runs in those shoes. Trying to do a lot quickly will mess up your feet and not making this clear is the reason they are going to pay out a lot of money.

So these shoes broke my foot, yet I still wear them. Why? Well, the other benefits that I mentioned earlier have outweighed the costs compared to traditional running shoes. I started off as a hard-hitting runner as my feet really went heavy against the road. Likely, this was caused by being involved in sprint heavy sports like basketball, football, and tennis where speed is created by pushing hard against the ground with your foot. I ran in toe shoes with a heavy foot and I paid the price. But these shoes have made me adjust my running where at times, I feel myself gliding across the pavement instead of pounding it. When I first got the shoes, it killed my feet any time I would step on a rock, road grate, and especially tactile pavings. Now my foot strike is way softer, so I barely notice when I land on those things (although gravel is still very tricky, so I try to avoid it).

In combination with landing softer on the pavement, I have also adjusted where I land on my foot. I used to be a heel striker when wearing traditional running shoes. Even in my mid-20s, I would occasionally have pain in my knees as well as lower back pain that was likely a direct result of that pain in my knees. My Dad has bad knees and a bad back, so those were two things that really worried me as I got older. Switching to the shoes forced me to start landing on the balls of my feet instead of my heel. What this does is forces my calves to take the brunt of punishment when I run. When I first got the shoes, my calves killed me, but I kept using them, and my calf muscles have gotten stronger, and it takes a very long run for them to get sore. With the pressure in my calves, it took it off of my knees, and that is why I love these shoes so much. Since switching, I have had no pain in my knees or back, and that is the biggest reason that I absolutely love my toe shoes.

Honestly, toe shoes aren't for everybody. In fitness, everything gets disputed, so find out what works for you. If you feel good using traditional shoes, keep using them. If you are having knee and back problems, maybe give toe shoes a try. Vibram FiveFingers have no proven benefits for your feet, but they have had positive benefits for me. Because of that, I will continue to be the guy running in toe shoes.

And as for them being ugly? Yeah, that's probably a fair point.

Running Is Dumb

After a two-week hiatus due to the flu, I got back to running this past Saturday. The bad news is that running is dumb. The good news is that I am an idiot, and hoo boy, was I stupid on this run.

I never really set out a definite path or length for my runs, because I like to live my life with freedom and adventure (America!). This can lead to shorter runs, because during my run, I realize how stupid running is, or it can lead to longer runs, where my stupidity outweighs the stupidity of running, and I just keep going. My run was the latter.

It started out quite peacefully, temperature in the mid-50s, a little bit of wind, but nothing excessive. So I just strolled along. The one thing I do decide before my run is pick my music. It's usually happy music, rap from the late 90s early 00s, or heavy metal/Ultimate Warrior Inspirational speeches. Today was happy music, so I was at peace as I got my run on.

Things were going smooth for me early on in the run. I took a road with no sidewalks, but since it was early in the morning, cars were good about giving me my required three feet of space as they drove by. At about mile four, I saw this 50 year old dude running the other way across the street, and he was going at a good pace. Good for him, I thought, as I gave a friendly wave as we went our separate ways. Shortly thereafter, I heard a bike coming up from behind me so I got to the side as it got on my ass pretty quickly. Then, it turned out that it was just the 50 year old speed demon passing me by. This was the fastest human being alive. I am convinced he is like an Albino Kenyan. I have kept up with most people riding bikes better than I was able to keep up with him. He also had a jacket tied around his waist, and as he got further away, it had the effect of making him look like a superhero. I tried to pick up my pace, but I'm not sure if my Ford Escort could have kept up with him. To top it all off, we chatted a little as he flew by me, which led to him asking me if I was Canadian. I have no idea why he thought I was Canadian. I don't think I look Canadian. I don't think I sound Canadian. My best guess is that he overheard me listening to Alanis Morissette on my run and figured I was doing it for national pride. So, I got passed like a bitch and accused of being Canadian. That is the definition of complete ownage.

When I get completely owned, I need to get revenge. Since I was physically unable to catch The Human Bullet, I decided that I would run further than he did. Sure, he was out of sight, so I have no idea how far he ran, but as long as my heart believes that I ran further than him, I would be fine. A light sprinkle started which actually felt quite nice. This would not feel nice later on.

Like an idiot, I ran...and ran....and ran. The road was new to me, so I got distracted by the pretty trees with their leaves changing colors and the houses I had never seen before. My IQ drops to mentally handicapped when I run, so everything about the world turns truly wondrous for me.

As I entered my third town from my run, I thought, "Cool, let's keep running." I should have thought, "Probably time to head back." But I kept running. Then the road I was on ended, which was another sign to head back, but I saw the Interstate in the distance, so I decided to run on the shoulder of a highway as cars zipped by me. This was not concerning at all, because I was in my mental retardation state, so I was just thinking, "Wow, cars go VROOOM!"

I finally cross under the interstate and decide it is time to head home. My happiness subsides, and I realize that this is not going to be fun. The rain is no longer a sprinkle, as it is coming down pretty hard. About a mile into my adventure on the way back, Adele's "Set Fire to the Rain" gets me way too pumped. Because it's raining. And I'm running really hard, so it is like my feet are on fire. So I'm basically living the song out. And that's not feminine at all, it is totally badass, so I stand by rocking out to Adele.

I'm about halfway back, and it is absolutely pouring. A car pulls over to the side of the road, maybe because they are worried about my well-being. No, they just need directions. I barely know where I am, but I take their map and figure out where they need to go. I am proud of this good deed on my part, but I'm pretty sure they never found the place as they ignored my first direction of, "Turn around."

And on I went. I was completely drenched. I had to stuff my iPod down my underwear to try to save it from the rain. I consistently stepped in puddles filling my shoes with their own tiny, little puddles. Hills were nearly unbearable as I could barely lift my legs high enough to keep moving forward. And there was not enough Adele in the world to keep me pumped. Basically, it sucked.

After 17 miles, I finally stumbled home. I drank a glass of water and ate a banana in about 15 seconds. I then peeled off my clothes, which I think weighed about 10 pounds with all of the water weight, and took a hot shower. I then bundled up, covered myself with two blankets and shivered for the next half hour as I watched a wedding show, as I was too cold to change the channel.

Running is dumb. Don't ever do it...I wonder where I'll run next week.

Why Do People Hate Toe Shoes?

I love my Vibram Five Finger shoes. I just want to be up front about that. If you do not know what those are, they are the toe shoes. I have never started a conversation about my shoes with someone, but many people have asked me about them, and I tell them how comfortable they are and how I enjoy running in them and basically doing anything in them. Most people who talk to me seem very interested in the shoes.

But then I go on the internet. And the internet fucking hates toe shoes. I have seen otherwise reasonably people rant and rave about how only douchebags wear the toe shoes, and how they are even bigger assholes if they wear them when they are just out and about, because, god forbid, you find a comfortable pair of shoes and use them for everyday activities.

I remember seeing Crocs for the first time and thinking, "Wow, those are some really stupid looking shoes. I will never buy those." I never thought that anybody who wears them is automatically a douche, and I never really gave it a second thought, because I really don't care what people wear on their feet. Yet, I constantly see people ranting and raving like a bunch of lunatics on how anyone who wears Toe Shoes should go kill themselves, and at some point, it becomes a little much.

I love my Vibram Five Fingers. Maybe you're one of those people that hate my shoes, but you know who else hated toe shoes? Hitler. That's why the Nazis wore boots. So, if you want to be a Hitler loving, toe shoe hating, Nazi, be my guest. But they're super comfortable, I go running in them all the time, and most importantly, when kids see my shoes, they think I am a super hero. This means they won't care if I try to sleep with their Mommy, and that's pretty badass.