Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Why Do People Hate Toe Shoes?

I love my Vibram Five Finger shoes. I just want to be up front about that. If you do not know what those are, they are the toe shoes. I have never started a conversation about my shoes with someone, but many people have asked me about them, and I tell them how comfortable they are and how I enjoy running in them and basically doing anything in them. Most people who talk to me seem very interested in the shoes.

But then I go on the internet. And the internet fucking hates toe shoes. I have seen otherwise reasonably people rant and rave about how only douchebags wear the toe shoes, and how they are even bigger assholes if they wear them when they are just out and about, because, god forbid, you find a comfortable pair of shoes and use them for everyday activities.

I remember seeing Crocs for the first time and thinking, "Wow, those are some really stupid looking shoes. I will never buy those." I never thought that anybody who wears them is automatically a douche, and I never really gave it a second thought, because I really don't care what people wear on their feet. Yet, I constantly see people ranting and raving like a bunch of lunatics on how anyone who wears Toe Shoes should go kill themselves, and at some point, it becomes a little much.

I love my Vibram Five Fingers. Maybe you're one of those people that hate my shoes, but you know who else hated toe shoes? Hitler. That's why the Nazis wore boots. So, if you want to be a Hitler loving, toe shoe hating, Nazi, be my guest. But they're super comfortable, I go running in them all the time, and most importantly, when kids see my shoes, they think I am a super hero. This means they won't care if I try to sleep with their Mommy, and that's pretty badass.


  1. I got my Vibrams 5 toes, my Adidas Adipure 5 toes, and two pairs of Fila Skele-toes. I love them.
    All you haters, Get lost.

    1. Only took me four years to respond to this comment, but this guy gets it.