Thursday, March 17, 2011

West Coast Rap's Love of Iowa Wrestling

Yesterday, I learned of the tragic passing of iconic rapper, Nate Dogg.  As someone who is known to regulate anybody who gets out of line, this was very tough to hear.  I needed a way to honor the West Coast Rap Scene.  Since "Regulate" is a flawless song already, I decided to turn to a different West Coast Rapper.  With today marking the start of the NCAA Wrestling Tournament, I have slightly altered (and also made it PG-13 since every rapper knows to play to their audience) Tupac's legendary rant at the end of "Hit 'Em Up" to show Mr. Shakur's love of Iowa Wrestling.  Oh, you didn't know that rappers loved Iowa Wrestling?  Well, I think this photo is indisputable evidence that they did.
Now you tell me who won
I see them, they run (ha ha)
They don't wanna see us
Whole Penn State wrestling click
Dressing up trying to be us
How the hell they gonna be Hawkeyes?
When we always on our job
We national champions
Pinning ain't fair
But somebody got to do it

Oh yeah, Arizona State (uh)
You wanna mess with us
You little young ass redshirt freshmen
Ain't one of you wrestlas missing a leg or something

You're wrestling with me, Cornell?
You wrestle around and catch a seizure or a heart-attack
You better back out of bounds
Before you get taken out of bounds

This is how we do it on our side
Any of you wrestlers from Oklahoma State that want to bring it,
Bring it.
But we ain't singing,
We bringing drama
Pin you and your mother loving mama.
We're gonna kill all you passive wrestlers.

Now when I came out, I told you it was just about Penn State.
Then everybody had to open their poll with an overrated ranking
Well this is how we gonna' do this:
Beat Cornell,
Beat Oklahoma State,
Beat Penn State as wrestlers, a football team, and in women's basketball too.
And if you want to be down with Penn State,
We'll beat you too.
Iowa State, we'll beat you too.
All you wannabe wrestlers,
We'll beat you too.

All of y'all stupid cowards,
Screw you, die slow Nittany Lions.
My single-leg  make sure all your kids don't grow.
You Ivy Leaguers can't be us or see us.
We bonus pointin Hawkeye riders.
Midwest till' we die.
Out here in Iowa,
We warned ya'
We'll take down you weak ass wrestlers.
We do our job.
You think you the best, Cael, we the undisputed best
Ain't nothing but killers
And the real wrestlers, all you Hawkeye rejects feel us.
Our streak goes from triple to four quadruple
You wrestlas laugh 'cause our team got cups under they black and gold singlets
You know how it is and we drop records they felt
You wrestlas can't feel it
We the winners
Screw 'em.
We wrestlin' pinners.
So yeah, I'm definitely picking the Hawkeyes to win the national title. I'm sure the Hawks plan on racking up some bonus points for their dead homies.


P.S. I understand my slight alterations do a great job of honoring both Tupac and Iowa Wrestling.  This recording of a song does not honor Buster Posey.

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