Tuesday, March 15, 2011

A Rant On Rose, Rondo, Simmons, and ESPN The Magazine: Part 1

I will admit that I started writing today, and although I had a focused idea early on, it started going into different directions, and I decided that if I didn't break this up, nobody would be able to understand the points I was trying to make.  Since it all started when I opened the mail to see the latest issue of ESPN The Magazine, that is where I will focus today.

I love sports.  I always have, and I always will.  That is what makes ESPN The Magazine so impressive.  It is a sports magazine that actually makes me like sports less. 

I decided to subscribe to ESPN The Magazine early this year when I found a Groupon for two years for like $12.  I really didn't spend that $12 for the magazine, but instead that it got me an ESPN Insider account which actually has a lot of great content that I had been frustrated by in the past since I was unable to access it.  Still, I figured that I could probably get some good toilet reading out of the magazine part of my subscription.

I was wrong.

After skimming through my first magazine and realizing that every article was either boring or just total garbage, every article since has been put in its proper place, my trash can.  A lot of people like how big of a magazine it is, for me, that just means more clutter for my garbage can. 

This only created a mild hassle for me up until this last issue.  They crossed a line this week when they came out with their “Style” issue.  I don't think I need to explain how stupid a style issue is for a sports magazine, so I'm not going to waste my breath getting into it.  The idea of the Style issue is bad enough, but the cover is what really pissed me off. 

When I looked at the cover, my thought process went something like this, “Oh my God, that looks like…no, it can’t be…fuck.  It is.”  It was Derrick Rose in classy clothing and a stupid hat.  That's all I remember, because I hope to never see that cover again.  It disgusts me.  A good cover with Derrick Rose would have been him with a knife to Rajon Rondo's neck.  Now I'm not such a psychotic fan that I want Rondo dead, but the symbolism would have been pretty badass.  I want Rondo to live a long life and stick around the NBA so Rose can metaphorically annihilate him on the basketball court. 

We'll touch a little bit more on that tomorrow, and a whole lot more later this week, but tomorrow is going to focus on ESPN's golden goose, The Sports Guy, Bill Simmons.   Don't worry Simmons lovers, I'm a fan as well, but I do have to critique some of the praise that he has recently received.  I'll leave you with that, but I promise to be back tomorrow for more ranty goodness.


P.S.  Here is an awesome article on the most underrated foreign big man in the NBA, Omer Asik. 

P.P.S.  I can't wait to have kids so I can recreate this family photo from the Hart family:

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